THE BOOK ON TRUMP
Tricky Headlines 5 / S D Rodrian
Tricky Headlines 3 / S D Rodrian
Tricky Headlines 4 / S D Rodrian
Tricky Headlines 1 / S D Rodrian
Tricky Headlines 2 / S D Rodrian
Continuing this flippant series of hilarious eBooks exploiting the apparent inability of the writers & editors of today's "Tricky Headlines" to compose clear, unambiguous copy--Puzzlement, amazement, outrage, and the humor of their folly, silliness, ambiguity, injustice, intent to deceive, along with all the rest of it. Intended for an adult audience (think of these items as comics without the graphics). Every collection suitable to be the ideal reading companion for any seated occasion.
Do buy my eBooks and help me to topple Bill Gates off the top of that swanky Forbes's list.
The Perfect
Gift
Click Here for S D Rodrian's eBooks at The KOBO Store.
S D Rodrian's eBooks at Walmart
****************************************************
Click Here for S D Rodrian's eBooks at Barnes & Noble.
****************************************************
You can a rate & review of the Tricky Headlines at Amazon.com, but note the two reviews already there: One verified purchaser of an ebook wrote a four star review saying he/she found it a "funny take on news" although cautioning it is not "very politically correct." While a reviewer named "Clara" (who doesn't appear to have bought the book) writes ungrammatically that "she" found its writing: "So. Horribly. Written. So poorly written. The world is dumber with this book’s publication” as if Tricky Headlines were Tolstoy and not standup--beside leaving one wondering how "Clara" could review a book "she" could never have read, of course. [Reads a bit like Trump, doesn't it.] But don't be a clairvoyant like "Clara." Buy a book and THEN review it.
****************************************************
****************************************************
****************************************************
Let's not jump the gun: According to some predictions, human may one day evolve from one of the species of morons now thrashing the planet. [Although, frankly, I don't see how such a thing is even possible, myself.]
****************************************************
A Brief History of Chimps in Space
Yuri Gagarin was shot into space in a bullet without a cannon firing it. Now chimps are sent into space to see if they can grow bean pods in their space motel before a meteoroid brows it up. End of story.
****************************************************
If you're tied up in the basement & can't move it's hemp. If you're sprawled out on the sofa & can't move it's marijuana.
****************************************************
How Did Ancient People Keep Their Food From Rotting?
ANSWER: They ate it before it would rot. [I'm still doing that myself.]
****************************************************
10 questions about visiting the beach during the pandemic, answered
1) what do I do if I see a shark?
ANSWER, for everybody who goes to the beach during this pandemic: If you're lucky enough to spot a shark: Swim out to it and try to jump on its back. You will get the ride of your life.
****************************************************
Trump Lambasts ‘60 Minutes’ After Episode About His COVID-19 Conspiracy Mongering
You know, I'm sure that if Donald Trump would just have his head examined they would finally find there that 'missing server' he claims was spirited to the Ukraine.
William Barr’s Perversion of Justice
The mark of the back of the Hand of God
lies across the face of today's America, and
it will not be erased until all the unethical
and immoral leaders she has chosen for herself
are all gone & long forgotten.
2,000 Former Justice Officials Demand William Barr Resign Over Michael Flynn Case
I left the Justice Department after it made a disastrous mistake. It just happened again.
Ex-F.B.I. Official Is Said to Undercut Justice Dept. Effort to Drop Flynn Case
****************************************************
Mitch McConnell: ‘Classless’ Obama ‘Should’ve Kept His Mouth Shut’ About Trump
Guess Obama must have spoken some truth or something like that to get McConnell this upset with him.
McConnell Says He Was ‘Wrong’ To Claim Obama Didn’t Leave A Pandemic Playbook
****************************************************
Sean Hannity: Obama Just Activated ‘Deep State Operatives’ Against Trump
What a crackpot! [Hell, I'm going right now to FOX to see if I can score my own show--about Whoopee Cushions curing Coronavirus.]
****************************************************
The earliest known humans in Europe may have been found in a Bulgarian cave
Told rescuers there was just nobody around to rescue them until they came, of course.
****************************************************
Which came first: The rotten polls or the raving?
ANSWER: The raving. (Why do ya think Trump's polls are so rotten!) Just exactly as the chicken came before the egg: Eggs got no legs.
****************************************************
Accidental poisonings rose after Trump suggested injecting disinfectant could thwart coronavirus
Does anybody know of ANYTHING positive happening after any Trump suggestion? [Google it! Google it!]
****************************************************
Russia in second place for world virus case total
Well, Trump and Putin are nose-to-nose in the race for the leader who caused the most needless deaths in their countries. [It's all very exciting, but my money's on Trump.]
Trump is badly botching the virus. New polls show Americans know it.
Trump’s latest effort to gaslight America is falling apart
Republicans finally realize Trump will drag them under
Why the GOP may lose everything
****************************************************
Trump order to paint border wall black could cost hundreds of millions of dollars
Ah! It must be so wonderful to be able to just tell 'your people' to build you a sand castle instead of having to shovel one up yourself!
****************************************************
Trump says U.S. leads world in coronavirus testing, but numbers tell a different story
In Trump's defense: Whatever Trump says the exact opposite is the truth.
We’re All Casualties of Trump’s War on Science
Science is Truth. So this war was both inevitable and unavoidable.
‘60 Minutes’ cites ‘Tucker Carlson Tonight’ for coronavirus misinformation
The Strange Origins Of Trump’s Hydroxychloroquine Obsession
Trump is badly botching the virus. New polls show Americans know it.
****************************************************
Woman Who Illegally Entered Yellowstone Suffers Burns Near Old Faithful
People who do a stupid thing seldom confine themselves to doing just one stupid thing.
****************************************************
Dems Unveil Giant New Coronavirus Relief Bill
Repubs claim their bird won't fly with a bill that big.
****************************************************
The world is ending. Could this affect Trump’s reelection chances?
I don't know: Trump is a strange bird. I think he might be able to survive on an asteroid somewhere out there (in the space between his ears).
Will the courts thwart Trump’s overreach?
****************************************************
In the midst of a pandemic, Trump is obsessing over Michael Flynn
When ya don't know how to drive a car ya plays with your little choo-choo train.
****************************************************
Jared Kushner clarifies after saying he’s ‘not sure’ he can commit to date for presidential election
My, my, what will the people do if Trump and his Mafia stage a coup against the land of the free & the home of the brave? [Wonder now, not when.]
****************************************************
Virus test hailed by Trump dogged by accuracy questions
In Trump's defense: Anything hailed by Trump is by definition ALWAYS a bust.
5 takeaways from coronavirus whistleblower Rick Bright’s testimony
****************************************************
Analysis: The GOP is increasingly siding with Trump over Fauci
Duh! Who has the most medical expertise!?
‘NOT AN ACCEPTABLE ANSWER’: TRUMP UNDERCUTS FAUCI
I think Trump has far greater medical knowlege than Fauci, who only studied medicine in the one school. While Trump, on the other hand, didn't study medicine in ONE school... like Fauci. [So there!]
Who needs science when we have Trump’s tremendous instincts?
Whoopi Goldberg Asks Chris Christie Who He’s Willing To Sacrifice To Reopen Economy -- The ex-governor told "The View" Friday that “lives are going to be lost inevitably in this, no matter what we do.”
Well, let's pray they're your family's lives then. [Why not the lives of Chris Christie's family? Is there a good reason why not?]
Whoopi Goldberg Asks Chris Christie Who He’s Willing To Sacrifice To Reopen Economy
Well, hopefully, if there is a God then every leader who orders their economies open even at the cost of a single life will lose his/her first born to the virus. [Don't worry: There's no God. This is just a joke on The Old Testament.]
Trump is gambling the health of the nation for his reelection
Ew, what's a couple of hundred thousand dead Americans if Trump can avoid going to prison for a few days? Criminals running from the cops put other people's lives at risk all the time.
Trump says critics want to keep country closed through election to hurt him politically
Sez the saps his critics save that way is irrelevant and that the point is himself and only himself, after all.
****************************************************
Anderson Cooper: Donald Trump’s Latest Coronavirus Ploy Is 1 Of His Most Offensive Yet
When Trump begins claiming that there is no proof whatsoever anyone in the United States, NO ONE, has EVER died of Covid-19 (as Trump is surely bound to start doing sooner or later)... I wonder just how many people outside his 'base' will think that Trump has finally spoken the truth for the first time ever in his entire life? It will be a VERY interesting thing to watch. [I'm sure Trump's base will believe him, of course, as they usually do--even the family members of those who die. But let's see how many others do.]
Trump will lie about the death toll. Kamala Harris wants to stop him.
****************************************************
What voters and Pelosi know that Trump does not
The country we all live in is The United States of America.
A sweeping setback for Trump’s foreign business dealings
****************************************************
A screaming toddler, no privacy and gratitude: 30 days in the world’s longest lockdown
A toddler screaming for 30 days!? Why didn't somebody throw him a tit?
****************************************************
Fired Parkland Deputy Who Hid Behind Car During Shooting To Be Reinstated -- Former Broward Sheriff Sgt. Brian Miller will receive full back pay because his firing violated his due process rights.
He will be paid in chickens.
****************************************************
Democrats scrutinize State Department plan to overhaul Social Security -- Last week, White House spokesman Hogan Gidley said President Trump would not support any plan that cuts into retirement benefits.
--before the election, of course. And, naturally, we ought to believe what Trump is saying instead of what Trump and the Republicans have been doing forever & ever & ever... right?
****************************************************
NASA unveils new rules on behavior in space and on the lunar surface
39) no riding of horses on the moon, as it would raise too much dust
82) no farting in space, where ya can't hear it coming
****************************************************
GRIM MILESTONE: 300,000 People Have Now Died From COVID-19 Globally
One third of them Americans! Congratulations Mister Trump. [Does anyone have to wonder whether by the time November comes around the stat will be the other way around and a third of the total Covid-19 deaths will NOT be Americans?]
****************************************************
If Trump had been in charge during World War II, this column would be in German
How right that is! The proper (and probably only) use of Trump is to try to convince your worst enemy to hire him: The damage he's done to this country is incalculable; and will forever remain so to every poor unfortunate human accountant of this sad history.
****************************************************
Dutch dog, three cats infected with coronavirus
"I don't know these cats," the dog claims: "I never met these cats. I never had sex with these cats. I must've picked up the virus a long time ago--before I ever even met ANY of these cats."
****************************************************
50 years ago, explorer Thor Heyerdahl’s Atlantic crossing hit a snag
"And if it hadn't been for that snag our raft killed," goes Thor's diary, "the whole crew would have probably starved to death."
****************************************************
Africa’s biggest collection of ancient human footprints has been found
"We were following this trail of footprints," said the scientists: "And suddenly we knew--there they were right under our feet all this time!"
****************************************************
I’m A Tarot Card Reader. Here’s What People Want Most From Me During The Pandemic.
Two hamburgers and a Coke? I knew that.
****************************************************
The True Story of Catherine the Great
One really big-time ho.
****************************************************
Some nursing homes taking coronavirus stimulus checks from patients. Can they do that?
"Like taking candy from a baby."
****************************************************
Trump’s New COVID-19 Czar Holds $10 Million In Vaccine Company Stock Options -- Elizabeth Warren slammed the "huge conflict of interest," and demanded Moncef Slaoui "divest immediately."
Apparently Elizabeth Warren just doesn't seem to understand that the real money in the government racket is insider trading. What a sucker, right! [She could really learn a lot from the Trumps.]
Moderna vaccine shows promising early results
However, if Moderna's 'vaccine' were somehow to be in cahoots via Moncef Slaoui with the Trump administration wouldn't it make sense to believe that this so-called 'magical' vaccine is really only a hoax designed solely to make those who take it believe they can now go out & hob-nob with all the mobs in the world without fear of getting sick... just like Trump is demanding Americans do no matter how many lives it cost them...? [Sometimes 'appearances' do matter, you know.]
****************************************************
Watching backyard birds might be the only thing keeping me sane
Ah! Remember back in the day when doing that was a sure sign of having lost your mind! How the world has changed.
****************************************************
‘Express burials’ raise fears that Nicaragua is hiding a coronavirus tragedy
Everybody seems to be trying to imitate Trump these days.
****************************************************
Faced with a Trumpian barrage of attacks, Joe Biden looks the other way
In Joe Biden's defense: Maybe cook's called lunch's on!
****************************************************
If Democrats want to beat Trump, they should take money from everyone — even Louis C.K.
Yes. Of course: Trump's vileness is now the new normal. Congratulations Donald Trump. Let the orgies & debaucheries roll on!
****************************************************
Rabbits In The U.S. Are Facing A Deadly New Virus Outbreak Of Their Own
Rabbits say not to worry: They're fucking up their traditional response to all such threats even as we speak.
****************************************************
‘Art Of The Deal’ Co-Author Spells Out Why Coronavirus Deaths ‘Don’t Matter’ To Trump -- Donald Trump’s former ghostwriter declared Friday that the president really doesn’t care about the deaths resulting from the coronavirus pandemic because he has “no conscience” and is solely motivated by the need to dominate. “The deaths, I know this is extreme, the deaths don’t matter to him,” Schwartz concluded, in reference to the nationwide 88,000 death toll from the pandemic. “If it’s this decision between saving himself and saving others, it is no contest.”
Now should you be worried about a coup by the Trump Mafia?
CNN reporter slams Trump with number of Americans dead from coronavirus
****************************************************
Trump Fires State Department Inspector General in Latest Broadside Against Watchdogs
Ya don't blame a dog for barking. This is foremost the fault of Congress for giving Trump the right to fire the cops investigating his crimes: What Congress should have done & should do NOW is to frame the Inspectors General laws so that they work for the Courts [or the Congress] and not for the president so a criminal like Trump can't fire them for trying to keep them honest.
Trump Administration Ousts Yet Another Inspector General
****************************************************
Trump’s continually strange comments on possibly ‘overrated’ coronavirus testing - Two days later, President Trump offered a very different view of testing, repeatedly suggesting that it’s “overrated” and that doing too much testing can needlessly drive up the infection numbers. “When you test, you have a case,” Trump said: “When you test, you find something is wrong with people. If we didn’t do any testing, we would have very few cases.”
ALSO: "If we were to simply stop treating people made sick by it we'd find nobody was ever made sick by this virus. And if we just stopped counting those who die from this virus nobody would ever die of it!" [Ah! At last I'm beginning to understand the 'magic cure' being touted by the Trump Family Mafia! Aren't we lucky to have them in complete charge of our fate at this moment! Thank you, Senate Republicans.]
Eric Trump claims coronavirus is Democratic hoax, will ‘magically’ vanish after 2020 election
By early this month, Trump said during an event with Iowa Gov. Kim Reynolds (R) that doing so much testing “makes us look bad.” -- “So the media likes to say we have the most cases, but we do, by far, the most testing,” Trump said. “If we did very little testing, we wouldn’t have the most cases. So, in a way, by doing all of this testing, we make ourselves look bad.”
Sure. Let the suckers out there take their chances. It's what suckers were born to do in Trump's World, after all. [Trump and his Mafia pals are all tested & re-tested daily themselves every one though--most especially of all Trump and all those closest to the big bleeding heart.]
How Many Covid Deaths? Don’t Ask President Trump
Drug promoted by Trump as coronavirus ‘game changer’ increasingly linked to deaths
The voters aren’t buying Trump’s snake oil
Trump just said the corrupt part out loud
****************************************************
Fox News Is Not On Board With Trump Supposedly Taking Hydroxychloroquine
Because the know Trump better than anybody else out there, Fox News sez it wants to WITNESS [live] some (none-White House hired) "doctor" administer to Trump a doze independently verified to actually be Hydroxychloroquine.
Pelosi Concerned ‘Morbidly Obese’ Trump Taking Unapproved Drug For Coronavirus
Somebody please tell the good woman that all such concerns about Trump are utterly groundless: "The gods protect the stupid."
****************************************************
For most of Afghanistan war, U.S. ‘never really fought to win,’ Trump says
Yeah, it's certainly not what Trump, Ted Cruz & everybody else in the Yellow-Bellied Draft Dodgers & Stateside Chickens Club would have fought it: They would have carpet-bombed the whole country until there wasn't a cockroach left alive there: That would have been victory!
****************************************************
Biden says he would revoke permit for Keystone pipeline -- President Trump authorized the project after it was blocked by President Obama. If completed, the pipeline would help carry some 830,000 barrels of crude oil a day from Canada to Texas.
Well, we all know if there's one thing Texas needs is more oil crude. It's not as if the pipeline is risking the lives & health of millions of Americans along its route just so a few billionaires can throw a few extra unneeded billions atop their already sky-high piles of cash! [Right?]
****************************************************
Mike Pompeo Asked Trump To Fire Inspector General
Sez the damn cop started chasing him right after his stick-up but that thankfully Trump called his precinct captain and ordered him to fire the cop right in the middle of the chase starting out: Now THAT's pull, baby! [Would that every criminal had such connections!]
Fired Inspector General Was Probing Pompeo Over Saudi Arms Deal, Mistreating Staffer: Reports
Trump Says He Doesn’t Want Mike Pompeo To ‘Wash Dishes’ Instead Of Working -- Trump said it's fine for a “Secret Service person or somebody” to do household chores for Pompeo — if his wife can't.
Sez that Fat Pompy or, for that matter, "Nobody else in my Mafia" makes enough off their government salary to both pay Trump his kickback AND also hire their own personal dishwashers: "Ya knows how much dem dishwashers are going for dize days!"
Fired Inspector General Was Probing Pompeo Over Saudi Arms Deal, Mistreating Staffer: Reports
Pompeo Confirms He Was Questioned By IG’s Office Before Firing, Denies Retaliation
Mike Pompeo offers another defense in his IG controversy — then immediately undercuts it
Trump’s latest firing is a blatant attempt to shield Pompeo from accountability
Trump’s purge of inspectors general is a crisis. Alarm bells should be going off everywhere.
Inspector general shows Trump administration is doing a terrible job
****************************************************
Fed Chair Says Economy Might Not Fully Recover Until End Of 2021
And Trump's been looking to put a hit on that damn Fed Chair for some time now... only it would cost "real money" sez Trump. So he'll just have to wait until Trump can find a much cheaper hitman out there.
****************************************************
Trump is using the coronavirus as a cover to abuse his authority
In Trump's defense: He's never really needed an excuse to abuse anything, now has he?
****************************************************
Trump Warns Farmers That Gun Control Will Leave Their Potatoes Defenseless
Ok, I get what 'potatoes' is an euphemism for here.
****************************************************
Trump Threatens ‘Funding’ To States Expanding Mail-In Voting During The Pandemic
Anything to keep government from helping anybody.
Experts: Trump's Threats to WHO Could Undercut Global Health
But isn't Trump constantly saying that the coronavirus hasn't killed enough people? [Yes: Every time somebody claims it's killed too many it's like a slap in his face.] So it makes sense then that Trump would want the WHO's fight against the virus shut down.
Trump’s rage at a Fox News anchor contains a key tell
Could there be a 'reasonable' explanation for Trump's callous disregard for the lives of Americans during his pandemic? ["Damn Americans dying by the tens of thousands just to make poor Trump look bad. Damn them! Damn them all to Hell!"] Oh... there might be.
The WHO has been more effective at fighting the coronavirus than Trump has. No wonder he hates it.
Donald Trump is a certifiable lunatic. And I don't care what anybody says.
Trump’s flimsy attack on vaccine official warning about hydroxychloroquine
Trump’s continually strange comments on possibly ‘overrated’ coronavirus testing
****************************************************
Pastor Who Claimed To Cure Coronavirus With Faith Dies Of Coronavirus
Guess there is a God after all!
****************************************************
I Love My White Boyfriend But There’s One Thing He Can Never Understand
Why black people talk to themselves even when they're standing right there in front of you talking to you--I know, right!
****************************************************
Do Humans Have a ‘Mating Season’?
Yes: Right after the kids go to bed.
****************************************************
White House Press Secretary Goofs Up, Broadcasts Trump’s Banking Details -- Trump vowed during his campaign that he would donate his salary each year. Critics have accused him of collecting far more from customers of his private businesses who spend large amounts to curry favor with Trump and to win favorable federal treatment or contracts. U.S. taxpayers have also been stuck with the price tag for Trump’s frequent trips to his private golf resorts that serve to publicize those operations. As of February, Trump’s golf trips cost the public $133.8 million, the equivalent of 334 years of his salary, according to an analysis by HuffPost.
Actually collecting $133.8 million from the suckers while convincing them you're giving them peanuts is what separates a flim-flam man from a stickup robber. [from the best-selling The Art of The Steal by U. Nohoo]
****************************************************
AP FACT CHECK: Trump Trashing Virus Science He Doesn't Like -- When President Donald Trump doesn't like the message, he shoots the messenger.
It The Wiz's Witch all over again!
****************************************************
Trump Gripes That Fox News Is 'Doing Nothing' To Get Him Reelected
Trump is like a toddler who can't help reveal to everyone he lies to that he is lying. How a guy with no brains like Trump got to be president of the United States is something straight out of the Peter Sellers film Being There (and shows us the very scary perils of great wealth).
[Still... I wonder if Fox News is at all embarrassed by Trump's revealing to everyone they're not really a news outlet but just another propaganda for-profit.]
****************************************************
Hydroxychloroquine, Hawked By Trump, Linked To Higher Risk Of Death, Study Finds
What a surprise.
Drug Promoted by Trump May Harm Coronavirus Patients, Study Shows
Explain to me how if someone was harmed by Trump's officially authoritative advice, that person cannot someday sue Trump or his estate to recover damages--or at the least try to: As president of the United States there should at least be a presumption that Trump must have the information that what he's doing is most certainly dangerous & harmful. [And probably lying about his taking the drug just compounds the crime.]
****************************************************
2.4 million filed jobless claims last week; GOP seeks to cut back benefits
Yeah! Workers don't treasure their money like billionaires: If they get their hands on more money they're just gonna spend it.
Billionaires’ Net Worth Rises During Pandemic As Millions Go Unemployed: Report
Crumbs for the Hungry but Windfalls for the Rich
****************************************************
‘We’re not going to close the country’ if there’s a second wave, Trump says
And then, dancing back into the White House, he changed the chorus of Let It Snow! to: "Let'em die! Let'em die! Let'em die!" [It's nice to see a man so happily about something amid such tragedy.]
Social distancing a week earlier could have saved 36,000 American lives, study says
****************************************************
2 Missouri Hairstylists Potentially Exposed Over 100 Clients To Coronavirus
Duh! Aren't they in the business of hair-raising?
****************************************************
Two years after summit with Trump, Kim vows to boost North Korea’s nuclear deterrent
Good for him! The risk of nuclear war now is awful, so anything Kim can do to deter it (especially increasing North Korea's nukes) is to be greatly appreciated.
****************************************************
Trump Doubles Down On Fact-Free Fraud Theory About Mail-In Voting
Trump Spreads Baseless Conspiracy Theory Accusing MSNBC Host Of Murder
Ah, it must be great to be a total crackpot like Trump and still be taken seriously by the handful of suckers out there!
****************************************************
Lindsey Graham’s Hypocrisy On Donald Trump Is Laid Bare In New Attack Ad
You're wasting your time, like Trump, Lindsey Graham has no shame, principles, or sense of decency: The only thing that can hurt people like this are the things that makes them ouch.
****************************************************
Trump Sows Doubt on Voting, Keeping Some People Up at Night
If the nation moves to mail-in voting then it will be harder for Trump to delay the 2020 election due to the virus. And now you know why Trump is so pissed off by mail-in voting.
[Sleepy Joe Biden vs Dead-head Donald Trump: It's going to be one for the cups of coffee.]
Report: Kayleigh McEnany Voted By Mail 11 Times In Last 10 Years
****************************************************
The Impotence of Donald Trump’s Positive Thinking -- The president's deepest held belief is in his own spin. But a novel virus can’t be fooled.
As Abe Lincolm said: "You can fool the people all of the time but at no time can you fool the coronavirus." [Lincolm is my shoe-shine boy.]
****************************************************
Live updates: Trump golfs amid push to reopen; U.S. coronavirus deaths near 100,000
Trump golfs, Nero fiddles. It's the circle of life.
****************************************************
Trump in war of words with Sessions over recusal from Russia probe
Rats fight! Rats fight!
CDC Warns Of ‘Aggressive Rodent Behavior’ As Lockdown Eases
****************************************************
Brad Keselowski wins Coca-Cola 600 in overtime in the longest race in NASCAR history
He becomes the first man to drink all 600 Cokes in under three hours (not including trips to the little boys' room).
****************************************************
84-year-old alligator rumored to belong to Adolf Hitler dies
You know, Trump lives in Florida. I'm just saying...
****************************************************
‘If We Get It, We Get It’: Beachgoers Belittle Coronavirus On Memorial Day Weekend
And if you give it to somebody else then you give it to somebody else, I guess: People out there are murdering each other all the time.
****************************************************
Trump’s war on reality just got a lot more dangerous
You mean like that time the guy who gave you a lift said that his car could ABSOLUTELY fly over the Grand Canyon? --Which particular argument finally convinced him it couldn't? [Well... none, actually: Thankfully, his car ran out of gas before we could get there for the demonstration.]
Thank you Republican senators. [Hope our luck holds out.]
****************************************************
Stock Markets Rise on Hopes for Economic Recovery: Live Updates
Stock markets rise on hopes, fall on realities: No wonder Trump only has faith in them. Jesus!
****************************************************
The GOP plan would increase coronavirus spread and slow economic recovery
Not if they and Trump simply deny that the virus is spreading and proclaim that a stupendous recovery is underway even as we all go down the crapper dying all the way. [What? Did I just give away Trump's reelection game plan? Again.]
****************************************************
Mike Pompeo Is the Worst Secretary of State Ever
So, why do you think Trump's still in love with the guy? [I'm pretty sure it's not some wild coincidence.]
****************************************************
Is the MyPillow guy the future of the Republican Party, or is he just dreaming?
Hey, the guy spent TWO years in his garage working on inventing a pillow: Sounds to me very much like a Republican senator. Let the guy dream!
****************************************************
Bennett warns Trump plan could bring disaster
Is this warning about Trump ever really necessary?
****************************************************
White House Letter Doesn't Explain Why Trump Fired Watchdogs
Of course it does! Look, it sez right there in black & white: "Ya can't rob the bank with the cops looking over yer shoulder!" [What more you want?]
****************************************************
Trump’s purge of inspectors general is alarming. His replacements may be worse. -- And it is hard to interpret Trump’s decision to replace acting Defense Department inspector general Glenn Fine, chosen to lead a panel of inspectors general overseeing the coronavirus relief funds. Fine represents the best of the best within the IG community. He has a long history of successes in ferreting out sophisticated frauds and wrongdoing. That’s a reason to keep him, not replace him.
Apparently this writer has a sense of humor.
If you don't understand that what Donald 'Al Capone' Trump is doing is replacing Eliot Ness with Frank Nitti [because he can, or so say his bought Republicans] then you don't understand anything, my friend.
Rick Bright’s testimony confirms our worst fears
It’s past time for Congress to give inspectors general and whistleblowers additional protection
Rick Bright’s testimony confirms our worst fears
Coronavirus Relief Fund Watchdog Who Was Ousted By Trump Resigns From Pentagon
****************************************************
On weekend dedicated to war dead, Trump tweets insults, promotes baseless claims and golfs
Par for the course.
But, really now: Who could have possibly told me that I would live long enough to see a lousy piece of shit elected president of the United States of America! [In fact, such is the case with this worthless animal, that to call Trump a lousy piece of shit seems to me to be rather insulting to even the lousiest piece of shit.]
Trump’s ‘Horrifying Lies’ About Lori Klausutis May Cross a Legal Line
Conservative News Site Slams Trump’s ‘Vile Slander,’ Questions His Fitness To Lead -- “This story is not just false, but verifiably so. It is also illogical and bizarre,” the editorial states.
Conservative Commentator Rips ‘Weak, Insecure Coward’ Trump In Blistering Column
Shining sunlight on Trump’s idiocy is the best disinfectant
****************************************************
How Will We Remember the Coronavirus Pandemic?
That we survived it. Those who don't won't.
****************************************************
Tom Brady Is Selling His Over-The-Top SUV For $300,000. See It!
Sez he now realizes he was unimaginably stupid for buying it. [Buy it! Buy it!]
****************************************************
Eric Trump Tweets ‘GREAT DAY for the DOW’ As Coronavirus Death Toll Tops 100,000
So if you think the Trump Mafia will do everything or anything to save the lives of you and your family--you're better off start buying some quick holes in the ground, pal.
****************************************************
Rush Limbaugh Says Latest Cancer Treatment Is ‘Kicking My Ass’ -- “For the last seven days, I have been virtually worthless, virtually useless," the radio host revealed.
Wow, "virtually worthless, virtually useless" (sounds like Rush has finally decided to start composing his epitaph). But I'm sure Satan will reward him someday with his whipping hot tongue for Rush's own cold-blooded lashing tongue.
****************************************************
Naked suspect vandalizes Miramar High for ‘entire day,’ leaves $100K in damage, cops say
He told arresting offices he was pretty sure that taking off all his clothes would make it impossible for anybody to recognize him. Apparently not.
****************************************************
Barr appoints Texas prosecutor to review Obama officials’ ‘unmasking’ requests
But nothing so far about the GOP's relentless innumerable attempts all over the country to keep millions of Americans from voting, though.
****************************************************
Zuckerberg Says Social Media Giants Shouldn’t Be In Position To Fact-Check Users -- When asked about Twitter's fact-checking of Trump, Zuckerberg said Facebook shouldn’t be “the arbiter of truth.”
Zuckerberg then said that Facebook should only be the conveyor of lies (for profit) and that's it. Period. Pocketbook closed.
****************************************************
Trump’s New ‘Religious Freedom’ Adviser At USAID Once Called Islam A ‘Barbaric Cult’
Well, maybe the people over at the Islamic Republic haven't gotten the email yet (that it is not). Nor apparently at any of ALL the other Muslim majority countries in the last 1,400 years, I see... But I'm patient, I can wait.
****************************************************
Ancient Israelites 'burned cannabis in worship'
That could explain all those Old Testament prophets 'talking' with God and burning bushes, et al.
****************************************************
I’m A COVID-19 Doctor. Do You Know What I’d Like To See From Our President? Compassion.
Boy, did this guy ever pick the wrong president for that vain hope!
****************************************************
Probe: US Interior Official Used Office for Personal Gain
What a surprise.
****************************************************
Remains of 60 Mammoths Discovered in Mexico
Archaeologists could still read one of their epitaphs:
Gary Mammoth chased me here
****************************************************
Ancient Roman Mosaic Floor Unearthed Beneath Italian Vineyard
Thankfully, all the Italians living right on top of it all this time were too drunk to see it.
****************************************************
I’ve seen dictators rise and fall. Beware, America. -- By Salman Rushdie
Great, now Salman Rushdie is concerned about the American dictator falling, for some reason.
****************************************************
Armored Dinosaur’s Last Meal Found Preserved in Its Fossilized Belly
Burgers & fries. Apparently even 67 million years ago diners were ordering the same crap we do now.
****************************************************
Iran, Russia, China, Turkey celebrate 'collapse' of US
It is truly impressive the amount of damage that simpleton Donald 'The Stooge of Satan' Trump has brought about in the United States in just under four years in office. Even considering the one billion dollars he lost trying his hand at business (which now seems like peanuts).
Trump’s credibility gap complicates his response to the three crises enveloping his presidency -- In addition to the worst public health crisis since 1918 and the worst economic crisis since 1933, President Trump now faces the worst civil unrest since 1968
Yes, Trump is going to have a hard time trying to come up with an even worse performance in future. But I have faith in his unlimited incompetence.
****************************************************
Fauci Says Meetings With Trump On Coronavirus Have ‘Dramatically Decreased’
On the plus side: He doesn't have to keep wresting Trump's Clorox bottle away from him as often now.
****************************************************
White House press secretary says Trump focused on antifa
Sez Trump's no longer focused on his shiny black shoes.
****************************************************
What we know about the White House’s secret bunkers and tunnels
They are littered everywhere Trump skedaddled through them with chicken feathers.
Trump Claims He Went To White House Bunker During Protests ‘For An Inspection’
Sez he always stages his official inspections in his pajamas.
****************************************************
****************************************************
Will add more later. SDR REMEMBER: This page is my scratchpad: Occasionally items which are edited (relevant & checked for factual errors) will be incorporated into my Tricky Headlines series [others with be purged]. For example, THE BOOK ON TRUMP will never be finished until Trump is finished (and, hopefully, doing a long & well-deserved stretch in prison... or an asylum for the criminally insane). We'll see.
Want to read more?
Buy the books: Each has hundreds & hundreds more...
**************************************************** * NO mucus, please.
************************************************ The Rules of Life **************************************************************
Tricky Headlines 6 / S D Rodrian
There is no better book to understand both the follies
and the folly of Donald Trump.
Happy Schadenfreudes to You Democrats & Republicans!
The World Is Funnier Than It Lets On
Sinful Pleasures of the Anti-Politically Correct
A profound treatise upon the human condition.
An Amusing Stare Into The Tragedies of Man.
for friend or enemy
*******************************************************************************************************
about you, just stay out of the headlines!"
because I drank his lousy beer.
But as he lunged to wallop me
(after he'd thoroughly gallop me
here) he tripped & croaked, I fear.
[Thousands & thousands if you get the entire set.]
These are all real headlines--I'm the one who's unreal.
DISCLAIMER: Note that my quips are almost exclusively all about the headline and the news articles themselves are in most cases irrelevant: Only because of the electronic nature of eBooks have I been able to include a [most convenient] search link to the actual news article... exclusively for the sake of those of you with a morbid curiosity (or a slow wit). But though I myself have read them, it is not really all that necessary that you put yourself through that too--unless, of course, you wish to find out whether my outrageous make of them might perhaps also be accurate (or just plain nuts).
S D Rodrian
****************************************************
PERMISSIONS: As long as you provide the appropriate citation of authorship and Copyrights you may use [just one] of the above quips. More than one and you gotta pay me through the nose for their use.*
S D Rodrian
SUNDRY OTHER S D Rodrian NOTES:
http://thesolutionisthis.com
The Stories and Poems of S D Rodrian
LATTER-DAY MUSINGS
.
Copyright Notice: Please note that none of the materials in this website are in the Public Domain, so please do not reproduce any of it without the proper permissions from the Copyright holder: S D Rodrian