When the news get too depressing these are the books to read.

Now, where can one find happiness? Always a good place to start is: anywhere a good, sound couple of laughs wash away the alternative, of course. And each of the Tricky Headlines eBooks holds hundreds and hundreds of laughs for the having. Here you can enjoy the hilarious, definitely not politically correct (PC) quips, comments, and invariably irreverent observations of/by S D Rodrian on today's news headlines collected in this ever continuing series of books intended most especially of all for the latest eReaders out there (each & every available tablet, computer, and iPhone you can buy).

In a world of serious, sad, and even quite tragic circumstances (a world in which about the greatest need is & always will remain the need for laughter), humor always is the point of departure here... ever the abiding goal of these forthright takes on today's so very truly tricky headlines.

S D Rodrian

[Below you can read some of their contents.]

Latter-Day-Musings / S D Rodrian
Barnes And Noble  Walmart  KOBO eBooks  Kindle eBook (Amazon.com)

THE BOOK ON TRUMP
Tricky Headlines 6 / S D Rodrian
Kindle eBook (Amazon.com)  Barnes And Noble  Walmart  Kobo
There is no better book to understand both the follies
and the folly of Donald Trump.

Tricky Headlines 5 / S D Rodrian
Happy Schadenfreudes to You Democrats & Republicans!
Kindle eBook (Amazon.com)  Barnes And Noble  Walmart  Kobo

Tricky Headlines 3 / S D Rodrian
The World Is Funnier Than It Lets On
Kindle eBook (Amazon.com)  Barnes And Noble  Walmart  Kobo

Tricky Headlines 4 / S D Rodrian
Sinful Pleasures of the Anti-Politically Correct
Kindle eBook (Amazon.com)  Barnes And Noble  Walmart  Kobo

Tricky Headlines 1 / S D Rodrian
A profound treatise upon the human condition.
Kindle eBook (Amazon.com)  Barnes And Noble  Walmart  Kobo

Tricky Headlines 2 / S D Rodrian
An Amusing Stare Into The Tragedies of Man.
Kindle eBook (Amazon.com)  Barnes And Noble  Walmart  Kobo

Continuing this flippant series of hilarious eBooks exploiting the apparent inability of the writers & editors of today's "Tricky Headlines" to compose clear, unambiguous copy--Puzzlement, amazement, outrage, and the humor of their folly, silliness, ambiguity, injustice, intent to deceive, along with all the rest of it. Intended for an adult audience (think of these items as comics without the graphics). Every collection suitable to be the ideal reading companion for any seated occasion.
eBook Image

Do buy my eBooks and help me to topple Bill Gates off the top of that swanky Forbes's list. eBook Image

What, you want to get bogged down in some inane novel written by a tiresome pointless novelist, or you wanna laugh at the stupidity of Man?

[You may preview these eBooks at Amazon.com]

       The Kindle Store

              The Perfect Gift
            for friend or enemy
*******************************************************************************************************

       Click Here for S D Rodrian's eBooks at The KOBO Store.

       S D Rodrian's eBooks at Walmart

****************************************************

       Click Here for S D Rodrian's eBooks at Barnes & Noble.

****************************************************

You can a rate & review of the Tricky Headlines at Amazon.com, but note the two reviews already there: One verified purchaser of an ebook wrote a four star review saying he/she found it a "funny take on news" although cautioning it is not "very politically correct." While a reviewer named "Clara" (who doesn't appear to have bought the book) writes ungrammatically that "she" found its writing: "So. Horribly. Written. So poorly written. The world is dumber with this book’s publication” as if Tricky Headlines were Tolstoy and not standup--beside leaving one wondering how "Clara" could review a book "she" could never have read, of course. [Reads a bit like Trump, doesn't it.] But don't be a clairvoyant like "Clara." Buy a book and THEN review it.

****************************************************

  "Remember: If you don't want me to quip
    about you, just stay out of the headlines!
"

****************************************************

****************************************************

‘This is really fantastical’: Federal judge in Michigan presses Trump-allied lawyers on 2020 election fraud claims in sanctions hearing

The Republican Party’s top lawyer called election fraud arguments by Trump’s lawyers a ‘joke’ that could mislead millions

It being 1776 again in the MAGA world, here
is The New Yankee Doodle Song all the British soldiers
are getting drunk to in the Boston pubs now:

          -- --

   Mike Lindell called Captain Trump
   and told him he was stolen!
   So Trump got on his hobby-horse
   until his ass was swollen:
         CHORUS:
   Trump is telling every one
   that he has been stolen
   but the only proof he has
   is that his ass is swollen.

          -- --

   Republicans are all with Trump
   and screaming he's been stolen
   and as their proof they're dressing up
   with Trump's revolting colon:
         CHORUS:
   Trump is telling every one
   that he has been stolen
   but the only proof he has
   is that his ass is swollen.

          -- --

   In all the outlets of FOX News
   the talking heads are swearing
   but all their proof of the Great Crime
   is the Trump shit they're airing:
         CHORUS:
   Trump is telling every one
   that he has been stolen
   but the only proof he has
   is that his ass is swollen.

          -- --

   Down at the Trump base they all have
   SURE PROOF of The Great Lie
   and it is that when someone asks
   they all rush to reply:
         CHORUS:
   Trump is telling every one
   that he has been stolen
   though the only proof he has
   is that his ass is swollen.

--S D Rodrian gotopoems.com

Question: Why is Captain Trump's ass swollen?
Answer: Not from Trump riding his hobby-horse but
from the serious ass-whipping that Joe Biden gave him.

Some Republicans Break From Trump’s Attempt To Rewrite Jan. 6 Insurrection

Donald Trump has completed his journey toward embracing the Capitol rioters

Opinion: The latest CPAC lunacy shows why Democrats must get tougher

Livid Trump Wanted Person Who Leaked Bunker Story Executed, New Book Claims

And if Trump had succeeded in becoming dictator, how many & many more Americans might he not have wanted executed and for which trivial crimes! And then who might have saved them?

Joint Chiefs chairman feared potential ‘Reichstag moment’ aimed at keeping Trump in power

Opinion: Gen. Milley’s terror of a Trump ‘coup’ should prompt Democrats to act — now

The striking, growing evidence of the very real Trump coup fears

Trump Says Gen. Mark Milley Should Be ‘Impeached’ Over Coup Fears -- It was the second time Trump denied he was cooking up a coup. He said in a statement Thursday: “One of the last people I would want to do it with is General Mark Milley.”

That's why Trump was replacing bureaucrats everywhere with acolytes who would do anything he ordered--He just ran out of time--and just only because of some slight pushback by a lot of the bureaucrats who were in the government at the time!

Pentagon’s top general defends military as ‘apolitical’ after reported comments about Trump

Documents show Kremlin's plot to put Trump in White House

****************************************************

Mike Lindell Confirms He Has No Understanding Of U.S. Constitution

No one who has the slightest understanding of the American Constitution, and how important a document it is to humanity, would ever soil themselves by standing anywhere close to Donald Trump.

****************************************************

Republicans unleashed a deadly vaccine skepticism. Can they now contain it?

What Republicans have unleashed is an unimaginably malicious string of murders upon their own voters strictly for their own personal gain. It is a wonder of all wonders that people whose friends, family and neighbors have been so callously murdered by a gang of vicious criminals with no moral compunction about killing as many of them as they have to just to line their own pockets... can continue to be so easily & readily hoodwinked.

How any Republican voters are going to have to be subjected to this callous butchery by their Republican office holders and still remain dumbly faithful to their exploiters--before finally waking up from their own-made nightmare? I once thought it completely incomprehensible how the Jonestown Cult members gulped down their Kool-Aide all a once, but these Republican voters today keep sipping at their Kool-Aide month after month after year after year even after burying friends & family as if they were hoeing over rows after rows of carrots.

Carl Bernstein Brands Trump As ‘War Criminal’ For Capitol Riot And Pandemic Deaths

Opinion: As Jan. 6 hearings begin, Republicans side with the terrorists

Opinion: The heroes of Jan. 6 expose the lies that Republicans keep telling us

Opinion: Distinguished pol of the week: Someone finally put their foot down

Republicans who have downplayed the Jan. 6 riot at the U.S. Capitol or have sought to discredit the congressional inquiry into what happened are painfully obviously guilty of being complicit in it or just terrified of being publicly implicated in supporting the insurrection to such an extent that they are even willing to try to portray the violent insurrection as either something "beautiful & patriotic" or as never having happened at all!

GOP Rep. Adam Kinzinger Says He’ll Serve On Jan. 6 House Committee

Fox News’ Bret Baier Hits Out At Republicans Dismissing Capitol Riot Inquiry

Opinion: Why it matters that Kinzinger and Cheney will serve on the Jan. 6 committee

Opinion: We have questions about Jan. 6. The new House committee can answer them.

Opinion: We have started investigating the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol. Nothing will be off-limits.

Opinion: The real reason Republicans want to sabotage the investigation into Jan. 6

****************************************************

Rupert Murdoch’s Fox News Is Boosting COVID Deaths For Money, Former Australian PM Says

Men who lack a conscience should never be expected to do the right thing when it's going to cost them anything: Bank robbers will continue to rob banks until they are stopped. Serial killers will continue to murder until they are stopped. And Rupert Murdoch will continue to make money from other people's most tragic grief until he too is stopped. Find a way to stop him but don't ever think you will ever convince him to stop himself.

Opinion: The right-wing media is helping Trump destroy democracy. A new poll shows how.

****************************************************

Why Papua New Guinea's Highlanders Differ Physically From Those Living Near Sea Level

They're no longer fucking each other much of late.

****************************************************

What Improves the Chances of Solving a Murder?

1) If the murderer confesses.

****************************************************

How do scientists calculate the age of a star?

1) first they check to see if she's ever played Shirley Temple's mother

****************************************************

Opinion: What Biden can do to show he’s serious about voting rights

The filibuster is doomed. The question is who finally kills it to advance their agenda, the Democrats or the Republicans. After all, it was the Republicans (led by the late senator Robert Byrd), not the Democrats, who created the reconciliation process as a way to get around the filibuster. Does anybody (outside of Biden and Joe Manchin) really believe that the Republicans won't shoot it in the head in a second if they need to in order to bulldoze over the Democrats once they're back in power?

Merrick Garland will not deliver your catharsis

He has this theory that if the cops behave virtuously towards the criminals the criminals will behave virtuously. Period. [I'm going out & buying a gun--The Democrats' Agenda is: "Yo On Yo On, My Man!"]

Manchin and Sinema Have Their History Wrong -- "In the absence of a new voting rights bill, President Biden has reportedly urged voting rights groups to “out-organize” voter suppression and neutralize Republican “election integrity” laws through superior tactics. But there’s no out-organizing the effort to take over the election process itself; there’s no activism that can stop Republican state legislatures from giving themselves the power to contest or overturn an election result."

****************************************************

Trump Urged Justice Officials To Declare Election ‘Corrupt’

Trump Says GOP Lost Senate After His ‘Rigged’ Election Gripes Discouraged Voters

No matter how bad the consequences of his lies, Trump always finds a way of trying to dissociate those bad consequences from his lies! It's terrifying because there are so many morons in this world unwilling to or incapable of acknowledging that Trump's completely unhinged--Although if there weren't [so many morons like that in this world] it would be quite funny and entertaining, actually.

‘Leave the rest to me’: New DOJ memos show there’s more to learn about Trump and Jan. 6

In blow to Trump, Justice Dept OK's release of damning memo, taxes

Opinion: Will Trump ever be held accountable? The Justice Department just increased the odds.

Trump’s diminished power is showing at a very bad time

In one quote, the core of the effort to undermine the 2020 election is revealed

****************************************************

Opinion: Merrick Garland, don’t politicize the pursuit of justice

Perhaps there should be an inquiry into whether Merrick Garland is being overly influenced by holdovers inside the DOJ.

Merrick Garland is doing more to hold Trump accountable than it appears

Justice Department Warns States About ‘Unusual’ Trump-Inspired ‘Audits’

Why You Can’t Out-Organize Voter Suppression

Georgia Republicans Make Move Toward Fulton County Election Takeover

Opinion: It’s a good thing Republican election-stealers are so incompetent

Maricopa County defies state subpoena seeking to expand GOP ballot review, calling it an ‘adventure in never-never land’

****************************************************

What if the Olympics were naked again?

Among other things, the TV rating would go up as well.

****************************************************

Tucker Carlson falsely claims Anthony S. Fauci ‘created’ covid

Now, why isn't this yet another primo libel case against Carlson and FOX?

MyPillow Guy Pulls Millions In Ads From Fox News In Spat Over Conspiracy Theories

Rep. Jim Jordan Polled People On ‘Trust’ And Received A Blunt Home Truth

Ex-RNC Chair Michael Steele Blasts Jim Jordan On His Jan. 6 Trump Amnesia

****************************************************

Mark Meadows Says He’s Meeting With Trump And Shadow ‘Cabinet Members’ On ‘Real Plans’

Sez they're mostly working on their harmony for their For-He's-A-Jolly-Good-Master background singing. [What's important to Trump.]

‘Botched’: Arizona GOP’s Ballot Count Ends, Troubles Persist

****************************************************

Female teen lifeguard questions why male teen guards are being paid more for the same job

Answer: Because their male bosses are setting the wages?

****************************************************

Opinion: Even businesses are trying to thwart the Republican death cult

Future generations will marvel at how we permitted elected leaders to contribute to so much anguish.

Well, not 'we' exactly. Just Republican voters--they do love their Kool-Aide.

Rudy Giuliani Is Reportedly Almost Broke And Trump’s Shutting Him Out

Trump sez he's never heard of him. "Who is this guy? You would have thought he'd drunk his Kool-Aide by now!"

Trump Hired Giuliani Because ‘None Of The Sane Lawyers’ Would Represent Him: Book

****************************************************

Mistaken Identity Lands Man In Hawaii Mental Hospital For More Than Two Years

"But I'm not crazy." [That's what all the ones who really ARE crazy say.]

****************************************************

Black activist says two White men jumped him last summer. Now, he’s charged with assaulting his attackers.

"Always make sure the referee only sees the guy you hit hitting you back." [NFL Rule Number One]

****************************************************

Cracked interstate bridge over Mississippi River reopens after months of repairs

"Drive over our bridge: Now you can't see the cracks!"

****************************************************

Will God rescue Israel from the fourth COVID-19 wave?

No. But the science of vaccine research might.

****************************************************

Blagojevich, former Ill. governor granted clemency by Trump, sues for right to seek elected office again

Sez he's finally got the hang of graft.

****************************************************

Opinion: The route to stealing the 2024 election begins with a simple step -- “Just say that the election was corrupt + leave the rest to me,” Trump told a senior department official, per that official’s notes on the conversation.

Donald Trump is (and his Republicans are) the greatest threat this country has ever faced in its entire history.

Yes, Trump Is Ridiculous. He’s Also Dangerous.

Opinion: The GOP scamming of rural Trump voters continues. A new study shows the latest.

Trump-Era GDP Growth Was Worst Since Great Depression, Analysis Shows

****************************************************

Opinion: How Democrats plan to win in 2022

If Republican voters are willing to see their friends, family & neighbors perish ignominiously from the lies the Republican establishment is feeding them about vaccines, masks (and that Covid-19 even exists)... please tell me how the Devil Democrats can possibly expect such voters to abandon those deadly GOP liars simply because Democrats provide them a couple of jobs here & there?! If the Democrats can't stand up and attack the Republicans head-on just as they're being attacked themselves I think the Democrats are headed for a whopping electoral defeat of their own making, frankly: This could turn out to be The Great Roll-Over of 2022.

****************************************************

Trump’s Campaign Is Long Over, But His Donors Keep Paying For An Office In His Building

O what a deliciously ratty thief is Trump
who thinks everyone on earth's a chump
and keeps his slippery thievin hands tiny
so he can slip them into your private heinie
(even if you're sitting on a wooden chair)
to take out valuables you had in there:

"Help! Somebody has stolen all my shit!"
You may cry after you've been plumbed
by Trump & left there kinda hurt & dumbed
& singing like an instrument he has strummed
in, "Gee, I wonder how he got his hands to fit
so well into the nethers of my southmost bit?!"

****************************************************

Opinion: Democrats haven’t given up on their democracy-protection bill -- You’d think that if and when Republicans use the antidemocratic filibuster to sink these basic protections yet again — protections that Manchin and Sinema themselves say are essential — it will be clear that protecting democracy will have to be a partisan achievement, or it won’t happen at all. Whether they will be willing to listen to that argument — or capable of hearing it at all — is another question entirely.

Bipartisan Deal Shouldn’t Stop Senate From Ditching Filibuster, Democrats Say

****************************************************

‘The stuff of which violent insurrections are made:’ Federal judge punishes Colorado lawyers for 2020 election lawsuit

You can allege anything you want from any soapbox out in the street but when you come into a court of law you must bring proofs & evidence. Those who don't understand this are the marks of hucksters & flim-flam men out in the street, like...

Mike Lindell Gets Fact-Checked Right To His Face, Proposes A Hug

Mike Lindell, a sad unfortunate soul that drowning in a sea of laughter.

Opinion: Yes, Trump tried to stage a coup. By denying it, the right is laying the groundwork for another one.

****************************************************

Sheepshead fish with human-like teeth caught in North Carolina

Scientists explain that the fish's diet mostly consists of fried chicken, spaghetti, hamburgers, hot dogs, black beans over white rice, and the occasional Chinese takeout. [Note to Trump's MAGA base Republicans: This is just a joke, guys.]

****************************************************

‘We’re back to panicking’: Moms are hit hardest as camps and day cares are closing again

"Great! Now we are the ones who are gonna have to take care of our damn kids."

****************************************************

A $5,800 whisky bottle Japan gave to Mike Pompeo is missing. The State Department is looking for it.

Has anybody checked Mike Pompeo's blood alcohol level? [Look in Pompeo's intestines first.]

****************************************************

Most people who aren’t vaccinated view vaccine as a greater risk than covid-19, poll finds

I suppose they will pay dearly for that view.

As delta cases rise, southern Ohio chooses to keep the masks on the shelf

They'll be sorry, forgetting that old adage: "Better to be safe than sorry!"

****************************************************

Should you cancel travel because of the delta variant?

Of course not. Go forth! Spread it as far & wide as you can. There are too many people in this world. So, killing a few hundred or even a few thousand of them is bound to make you a good guy, even a hero (you know, like Trump is to his base).

Opinion: Floridians want leadership on covid-19. Instead, they’re getting rotten MAGA antics.

The pandemic is nearly as bad in Florida right now as it has ever been

The Florida governor is thinking of running for president on the Republican ticket.

****************************************************

Why is the executive producer of ‘Jeopardy!’ the front-runner to replace Alex Trebek?

Why was stupendously unprecedented ignoramus President Trump the one making the final medical judgments for the country?

****************************************************

Jake Gyllenhaal: 'More And More I Find Bathing To Be Less Necessary'

Curiously, people around him find it more and more necessary that he should bathe.

****************************************************

Jordan to become a full democracy within a decade

Translation: In 10 years there will be an unnecessarily ugly war between Jordan and Israel.

****************************************************

Opinion: We can’t let the terrorists rewrite the history of Jan. 6

Ah, but they're trying, they're really trying. And unless the Democrats can find a way to stop them they might just bring down in flames on all our heads the oldest democracy on earth.

House panel investigating Jan. 6 attack seeks records from agencies on insurrection, Trump in first request for information

Opinion: It looks like the Jan. 6 select committee means business

Opinion: Trump’s coup attempt grows even more worrisome as new details emerge

Opinion: Democrats just launched a missile at the GOP’s fortress of minority rule

Election officials are tearing into the Maricopa County audit

****************************************************

Can these dogs really talk, or are they just pushing our buttons?

Well, I know my dog always asks me to change the channels because he sez he doesn't have the fingers with which to push the buttons.

****************************************************

Virginia had lovers. Its neighbor to the north had ‘Maryland is for Crabs.’

Well, now we know who gave Maryland the crabs.

****************************************************

Trump, RNC Refunded $12.8 Million To Duped Donors This Year: Report

Trump sez he needed to keep them happy so he could set'em up for a much greater/bigger, more beautiful/more profitable future scam.

****************************************************

Black Realtor And His Client Handcuffed By Police During House Tour In Michigan

Neighbors say: No, they didn't call the cops on'em because they thought they were house breakers but because they thought they might buy the house.

****************************************************

NASA Seeking People To Pretend To Live On Mars For A Year

I pretend to live in Never-Never Land a lot. I wonder whether NASA pays any money for that? [Maybe not NASA, but NADA definitely.]

****************************************************

The most dangerous scam in American history -- Everyone has, at some point, been fooled into thinking something fake was real.

I wonder whether Mike Lindell was ever finally told Santa Claus is just an essential lie that we tell our children so they realize "how easily we can be fooled into thinking something fake is real?" It's possible Mike Lindell still believes in Santa Claus, you know. Just in case, somebody should challenge him to a polygraph.

My Pillow cyber symposium is yet another font of election fraud lies

The con is winding down

2 Moments From Mike Lindell’s 72-Hour Fraud Fest You Must See To Believe

Mike Lindell’s 72-Hour Fraud Fest Goes From Very Bad To Worse

The spectacular implosion of Mike Lindell

Mike Lindell Loses It On CNN Reporter As His Cyber Symposium Disintegrates

Seth Meyers Gleefully Watches MyPillow Guy Get Bad News At His Own Symposium

Mike Lindell’s War With Fox News Heats Up With Attack On Hannity, Ingraham

GOP Candidate Says Incident With MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell Was No ‘Attack’

Mike Lindell Melts Down When Expert Tries To Claim His $5 Million Cyber-Bounty

Dominion’s lawsuits against Trump allies can move forward after judge rejects arguments

Mike Lindell Is Hiding A County Clerk Amid FBI Probe Of A Vote Data Leak: Report

Wonder how long before Lindell makes the FBI's Top 10 wanted fugitives. Though I don't believe he has the brains to be on the run that long.

Now Mike Lindell Predicts Trump’s Fantastical Reinstatement Before Year’s End

Mike Lindell Finally Reveals His Supreme Court Complaint, And Critics Have Notes

Mike Lindell is exactly the curse that Donald Trump deserves: A maraca-brained loon following every step Trump takes as if to announce to the world that The Big Loon is coming in a 'fantastical reinstatement' any day now... any day now...

****************************************************

Trump’s brazen attempt to overturn the 2020 election: A timeline -- Separately, Meadows meets with Justice Department officials and mentions a baseless theory that a company in Italy combined with the CIA to rig the election.

I wonder whether this is the theory that meatballs were inserted into voting machines to make them slippery enough so that votes cast for Trump would end up sliding down to Biden? [So I heard.]

Court Orders Arizona Senate To Disclose Cyber Ninjas’ Vote Audit Records

Trump DOJ Ally Reportedly Pushed Wild Theory China May Have Used Vote-Hacking Thermometers

Opinion: Trump’s coup attempt grows even more worrisome as new details emerge

****************************************************

As Covid Surges in Florida, DeSantis Refuses to Change Course

Well, one way or the other Floridians will have to find a way to pay for having voted for him. [The hard way.]

****************************************************

NFL QB Lamar Jackson Won’t Commit To Vaccine, Despite Catching COVID Twice

Sez he's determined to see which is stronger: Covid-19 or stupid.

****************************************************

GOP Congressman Refuses To Say If He’s Vaccinated, Then Walks Away From Interview -- “Are you vaccinated, congressman?” the reporter asked. “I don’t like to get into taking sides on it. OK? So that’s --” said Grothman as he then walked away from the interview.

[Self-evidently Grothman is on the side of not wanting to advocate that people get vaccinated.]

Arkansas’ Republican Gov. Says It Was An ‘Error’ To Sign Law Banning Mask Mandates

Talk is cheap.

****************************************************

GOP gives Trump credit for an infrastructure bill he opposes

GOP would give Trump credit for the origin of life on earth: It's a cult, stupid.

Opinion: Trump’s coup attempt grows even more worrisome as new details emerge

Opinion: Nothing is more urgent than breaking the GOP voting rights blockade

****************************************************

A customer said yelling at a bank worker over masks was protected speech. A judge disagreed.

You can say whatever you like, as long as it does not harm others--And because it is strictly subjective, the degree to which 'another' thinks the speech has harmed him must be settled in court. Bring your wallet.

****************************************************

As mayor of Ecuador’s capital faces possible removal, councilman throws a glass of water at him

Does not say whether he caught it or it broke when it fell on the floor.

****************************************************

What the Jan. 6 probe can learn from GOP investigations

That Trump, his Jan.6 terrorists, and all the other Republicans were innocent victims of Antifa and of Nancy Pelosi? Sure.

Trump’s election conspiracies are coming to a head — again

Fox News’ Juan Williams Sounds The Alarm On Donald Trump’s ‘Grifting Game’

Jeffrey Bossert Clark: The most dangerous Trump official you’ve never heard of needs to be heard from

Opinion: Trump’s corrupt manipulation of DOJ should prompt big reforms

****************************************************

Rand Paul calls YouTube suspension over mask skepticism ‘badge of honor’

Right up there with Trump, David Duke, Sidney Powell, Michael Flynn, Louis Farrakhan, and others of their ilk.

****************************************************

The return of gourmet British 'seaweed'

"Will that be washed, fresh-picked, or sea-floor-dirty, sir?"

****************************************************

Facebook bans Russian disinformation network that claimed coronavirus vaccines turn people into chimpanzees

Well, I for one, was a chimpanzee long before I had my Covid shot. And I love it: I'd rather be a chimp than a Shetland Pony any day.

****************************************************

Nearly 60,000 pounds of chicken recalled after salmonella sickens dozens

Officials now asking the public to consider not eating raw chickens or bitin' the heads off live ones.

****************************************************

Sorry, but there’s zero evidence of aliens, this science writer says

This is very discouraging for me because my greatest ambition has always been to play a game of Checkers against someone from another planet.

****************************************************

Family of D.C. officer who died by suicide after Jan. 6 riot sues alleged attacker

This is the way justice in America should work: When someone causes you a damage you sue him and recoup whatever damages you can in court. In this case it may not be possible to bring the officer back to life but it will be possible to sue this defendant[s] for the uncounted damages he has caused this officer and his surviving family members.

Trump Made Clear ‘Threat’ To Officer Who Shot Ashli Babbitt, Says Ex-FBI Deputy Director

And why Trump is not being held accountable for the innumerable crimes he has clearly committed is a puzzle: There are always consequences to one's actions, but sometimes there are bad actors who for their own vile reasons decide to block those consequences.

Somebody should tell Trump that in the entire history of losers there has never been a single case of being a sore loser turning losing into winning. Once you're a loser you're a loser once & for all, Mister Trump.

Cruz Whine: Biden Admin ‘Persecuting’ Capitol Rioters

Rupublicans are now fully on the side of the criminals, and they are making no bones about it! I suppose all that talk about being on the side of 'law & order' was just to con the suckers.

****************************************************

Unvaccinated COVID-19 Patient In Louisiana Hospital Tells Others To ‘Open Your Eyes’

'Others' say they will check with Trump and his MAGA R congressmen whether this might be just more FAKE NEWS.

****************************************************

Afghanistan’s rapid deterioration leaves allies questioning U.S. resolve on other fronts

Republicans must be licking their chops at the prospect of taking over Washington from Biden like the Taliban took Afghanistan from him.

****************************************************

Why the heck are members of Congress allowed to trade individual stocks?

Answer: Because Congress makes the rules.

****************************************************

After Wife Bought Remdesivir Stock, Rand Paul Served As Vector For COVID Misinformation

Nice racket: The more people are hospitalized with Covid the more money Rand Paul and his wife make selling Remdesivir.

DeSantis Top Donor Invests In Regeneron COVID Drug Governor Promotes

Of course: The more people DeSantis can get sick with Covid the more likely they'll need Regeneron: Criminals know how to make money. [You don't--You're stuck with remaining legal. They're stuck with having to face the law eventually. Take yer pick.]

Boebert pushed to loosen drilling rules. She failed to disclose her husband’s income from energy consulting.

Ditto.

****************************************************

Brazilian bishop resigns days after sexual video circulates -- A Brazilian bishop has resigned less than a week after a video came to light that featured someone, purported to be him, masturbating

This is why I had to let go my last dog Pervy. [Apparently dogs have not been domesticated long enough yet to have learned the red lines of the afternoon tea party.]

****************************************************

Groom injured while stomping on glass under the huppah

Rabbi tells him: "You're supposed to wear shoes." [In Hebrew.]

****************************************************

North Korea tortures and executes Christians, USCIRF says

In North Korea's defense: Christians are all they have there to torture and execute.

****************************************************

Climate scientists warn: Gulf Stream in state of collapse - study

Hang on. I'll be right over and stick my finger in the sea to try to get it going again.

****************************************************

This vegetable paella recipe is colorful, festive and quick enough for a weeknight

A paella without at least one dead chicken in it is a total waste of cooking gas.

****************************************************

Carolyn Hax: Fellow patron’s persistent cough was not a fine dining experience

I've had it worse: I once sat behind a fart factory while dining on some fluffy light stuff and I never cracked a protest. Even tipped generosly, as it wasn't my waiter's fault.

****************************************************

China pressured experts away from a lab-leak investigation. What is it hiding?

Nothing. This is a clear admission that its labs are complicit in having unleashed Covid-19 on the world.

****************************************************

Biden said U.S. officials lied on Afghanistan. Will they be held to account?

Well, Biden could ask Kerry next cabinet meeting. And everyone there who worked in the Clinton & Obama administrations (including himself).

****************************************************

Biden EPA To Ban Chlorpyrifos, A Pesticide Linked To Brain Damage In Children

Brain damage in children, eh? No wonder Trump refused to ban it.

****************************************************

Lawmakers denounce GOP Rep. Brooks for appearing sympathetic to Capitol bomb threat suspect

Rep. Brooks sez he's a Republican: "It's what we do."

****************************************************

Trump Attacks Biden For Afghanistan Chaos After Giving Taliban The Deal That Ensured It

So, what else is new?

CNN Mocks Trump Over Wild Account Of Maybe Talking To Taliban Leader Who ‘Screamed’

****************************************************

The Taliban says it will rule under sharia law. What does that mean?

Pretty much the exact opposite of secular democracy: That is all ye know on earth and all ye need to know.

****************************************************

8th-Graders Lead Effort To Clear The Name Of Wrongly Convicted Salem ‘Witch’

Historians say they cannot explain why Witchovia's name has not been cleared of being a witch before now.

****************************************************

Highly religious Americans are less likely to believe intelligent life exists on other planets, survey says

Ironically, most factual and theoretical evidence posits that life elsewhere must be just as likely and unlikely to have arisen as here on earth (and here we are). However, religious people believe not facts in evidence but take at face value whatever the Hell they have been told by their more primitive and ignorant predecessors. And so I am a beast more likely to be despised & my life threatened by the religiously instructed than by those savages who have calmly concluded that religion is an imminent danger to human beings like myself: I am a beast in a beastly world. [But I knew that.]

****************************************************

COMPLETE FAILURE: 20-YEAR ‘NATION-BUILDING’ COLLAPSES IN DAYS

This failure was designed into the original folly of trying to nation-build in an Islamic-majority country: It has never succeeded and it will never succeed. The closest thing came when Spain replaced all of its Muslims to the last one and became a Christian nation again, going on to become the most powerful nation in the Western World.

Biden administration scrambled as its Afghan withdrawal plan unraveled

Secretary Blinken Defends U.S. Troop Withdrawal From Afghanistan

Secretary of State Antony Blinken said diplomats were being moved to the airport and said America would maintain a core diplomatic presence. -- As cable networks and pundits ruminated on the images of helicopters echoing the U.S. exit from Saigon in the final days of the Vietnam War, Mr. Blinken pushed back. “This is manifestly not Saigon,” he said. "Kimberley Motley, an international human-rights attorney who has worked on Afghanistan issues for 13 years agreed on the ground there: The situation is a “human-rights nightmare. This is like Saigon on steroids.”

"Biden was asked last month about concerns Vietnamese veterans had regarding how the Taliban's efforts to conquer Afghanistan seemed to mirror the fall of Saigon in 1975. At the time, Biden said the Taliban was "not remotely comparable in terms of capability" to the North Vietnamese. -- "There's going to be no circumstance where you see people being lifted off the roof of a embassy in the—of the United States from Afghanistan," Biden said during the July 8 press conference, a clip of which resurfaced in the wake of the Afghanistan government's collapse."

The Afghans should be that lucky, Mister Biden: This one will be ten times worse. [So much for the infallibility of Biden.]

Taliban takeover of Afghanistan shows Israel must be self-reliant - ex-diplomat

****************************************************

America has time for one last honorable act: Getting our allies out of Afghanistan

Real-world translation: They're on their own. [Would that it were not so.]

Dire scenes — including people clinging to a plane — unfold at Kabul airport

As a Christian O Lord, I pray for all those poor people! Muslims or not, human beings they are. Enemies or friends, our brothers they all are! And their pain is my pain, their sorrow is my sorrow, their tragedy is mine to grieve.

****************************************************

As Afghanistan falls, a haunting question faces military families: Why did we do all this?

Answer: Because nation-building was a chinch in Europe after WWII and "all-men-are-equal" American planners convinced themselves that Muslim-majority countries are just like European countries where just as in Christian Europe their Muslim citizens longed but for freedom and democracy. It never once crossed their prejudiced brains to consider just how different America would look today if instead of the well-read adherents to the secular principles of the European Enlightenment who founded the United States it had been a gang of cutthroats & highwaymen, rapists, murderers, and every-man-for-himself thieves led by very probably the most unscrupulous serial killer in history, a man who cynically devised for his criminal followers the [purely criminally excusing] principle that God allows/encourages all crimes no matter how heinous if they're committed in His Name. And now you know why nation-building is utter nonsense in Muslim-majority countries where only ISIS or brutal dictatorships can ever rule over such perverted mindsets.

I Was a Marine in Afghanistan. We Sacrificed Lives For a Lie.

Netanyahu rejected Kerry’s Afghanistan-style solution for Palestinians

Thank God he did: Kerry is one of the moron American planners mentioned above.

****************************************************

Biden’s claim that nation-building in Afghanistan ‘never made any sense to me’

Nation-building means two distinct things:
1) building European-style secular democracies
2) building Islamic (very clearly non-secular)
democracies in Muslim-majority countries

In Muslim-majority countries you can pretty much forget about trying to build secular democracies, of course: there the only alternative to Islamic populism (giving rise to anti-West movements like Hamas, Hezbollah, Muslim Brotherhood, ISIS, al-Qaida, Taliban, etc.) is a dictator who can cut deals with the West and enforce them at home in spite of the popular anti-West incitement preached by the mullahs [this is usually a military dictator as in Egypt, but Erdogan and the Saudi monarchs work too]. Those in the West who do not understand this bring about unimaginable costs in lives and monies down on themselves and on the countries they're 'trying to help.'

There were until recently cynics in the West [the UK colonialists] who, understanding the above, thought of nation-building in Muslim-majority countries as promoting and supporting just the sort of Islamic dictators we see today in the most stable nations there. Unfortunately, of late, nation-building in Muslim-majority countries has become the same as the notion of nation-building in non-Muslim countries (as the idea of dictators [anywhere] has become unpopular today in the West). "Sorry ta'see ya go!" Therefore today we concentrate our efforts on 'strengthening institutions,' completely ignoring the fact that any stable government must have strong institutions, whether democratic institutions or Islamic anti-democratic ones--And that trying to saddle a Muslim dictator with strongly democratic institution is the same as promoting Islamic populism (inevitably leading to the terrorist organizations that must follow that).

“After 9/11, I changed my mind," said President Bush: "Afghanistan was the ultimate nation building mission. We had liberated the country from a primitive dictatorship, and we had a moral obligation to leave behind something better." In other words, America had destroyed the populist Muslim society that had ruled Afghanistan between foreign interventions all right (like the Russians before them). But then America tried to build a non-dictator based government there. In other words, one which was neither a populist Islamic movement nor a brutal dictatorship capable of defeating the populist movements--

All purely self-defeating hogwash. It would have been better had America struck the Taliban hard for 9/11 and then left. "We had a strategic interest in helping the Afghan people build a free society,” wrote Bush. And we did, of course, leaving there no one strong enough to control the Taliban.

Bush & all the other American politicos with their heads up their asses should have consulted Mubarak--whom the Americans also worked their little tails off to undermine at this time, much to the great detriment of Egypt and suffering of its people.

****************************************************

Afghan army’s total collapse forces ‘soul-searching’ at NATO meeting

Cry me a river. Guys, most of the Afghan Army was made up of Talibans pretending to be Western allies in order to collect their Western wages (now they're back to being full-time Talibans).

****************************************************

Sha’Carri Richardson Places Ninth In First Race Since Suspension Over Drug Test

You'll never know how all those sprinters who lost to her before her drug use was uncovered must feel like now.

****************************************************

E.T., Phone Hell? Creationist Ken Ham Says Jesus Can’t Save Space Aliens

Sez it's bad enough having to accept some non-whites into Heaven (and stick'em in some segregated out-of-the-way place Jesus never visits, of course), but he draws the line at E.T.s there.

****************************************************

Taliban to US: Don't encourage Afghans to leave

Well, maybe if you guys stopped killing them they might decide they don't need to leave

Credible reports of executions by Taliban - UN

As much as the Muslim populous encouraged by the mullahs bad-mouths America, almost every Muslim nation in the world is allied with the United States. The Taliban are not Russians, they're not Chinese, and they're not Communists. Are they going to make Afghanistan the only Muslim country in the world that's not allied with the United States?

****************************************************

Miss Manners: Couples won’t let me seat them separately!

Well, sometimes somebody disrespects your wife and you have to be close enough to throw an effective punch. You can't be telegraphing your punches from across the table--A good host should know that. [Sometimes your wife just wants you to punch somebody for no reason at all and you have to be ready.]

****************************************************

Scores Of Florida Doctors Stage Walkout To Protest The Unvaccinated

It's hard to blame them: You have on the one hand a patient whose advanced cancer requires an ICU bed and on the other hand another patient who needs the same bed because he didn't feel like taking the Covid-19 vaccine (sez he heard it turns people into zombies or some other looney excuse). I don't know that I too wouldn't refuse to treat the anti-vacc nut case myself.

An Ala. doctor saw patients reject the vaccine. Now he’s refusing to treat them.

****************************************************

Kind Acts: Rats Prefer to Help Their Own

This explains why we laugh when a stranger slips and busts his ass.

****************************************************

There’s a bat in your house! Here’s what NOT to do.

Offer it wine: They don't drink... that.

****************************************************

A flood of heartache: For families of U.S. troops killed in Afghan war, the scramble to exit revives their agony

There is no easy solution to this because ultimately the reason the Afghan war was so pointlessly prolonged was because the American decision makers were operating on flawed assumptions that arose out of their trying to work with lofty ideals in this lowly all-too real world:

No: Not all people are good-intentioned.

No: The reason the American Experiment has survived this long is not due to luck. So it's pointless to roll the dice on every other experiment in democracy out there.

****************************************************

Can religion strengthen democracy?

Of course. Isn't the Vatican a democracy? [The Pope just runs a very spiffy campaign every year.]

****************************************************

Carolyn Hax: What do you buy for the family that gives your gifts away?

Buy?!? No. Let you kids make them used newspaper mache 'creations.'

****************************************************

Texas governor prohibits vaccine mandates

He also prohibited life-saving emergency surgeries and Band-Aids for cuts & scratches. Can Republicans get more nutty? [Sure.] One is left to wonder how almost every Republican out there keeps working against the public good while one can hardly find even one single democrat doing that--and not have everybody voting Democrat!

Republican state lawmakers are expected to move quickly to advance a restrictive new voting bill, which Democrats successfully blocked for weeks by fleeing to D.C.

If the citizens of Texas do not want undue restrictions on their rights to vote they're going to have to vote out the legislators pursuing those restrictions. It may sound counterintuitive, but in a democracy still it's also the only way.

     Those who do not rise up will be put down.

Filibuster Reform Coalition Grows Ahead of Fall Fight Over Voting Rights

GOP Rep. Jim Banks: Republicans Have A ‘Duty’ To Punish Members Investigating Jan. 6 Riot

Opinion: Biden goes after MAGA governors. It’s about time.

****************************************************

It’s not hard to imagine a worse pandemic, former CDC director says

Republicans risk becoming face of delta surge as key governors fight mandates

Marjorie Taylor Greene fans cheered low vaccination rate in Alabama, which tossed 65,000 expired doses

Those who laugh in the Face of God will be washed away with their tears.

Florida church reeling after six members die within 10 days amid spike in cases

A conservative cardinal who criticized the vaccine caught covid. Days later, he was put on a ventilator.

God is nurturing, forgiving, Bringer of Order to all things. Satan is destructive, vengeful, everywhere Wreaker of Chaos. Therefore whatever side Trump takes--always take the opposite one. For Trump is on the side of Satan.

Most Unvaccinated Americans Still Think Shots Are Riskier Than COVID

He thought COVID was fake news. Now this Florida radio veteran is dead of the disease

Texas GOP Leader Hospitalized For COVID-19 Dies Days After Mocking Vaccines -- The Texas Republican Party issued a statement saying members were “incredibly saddened” to learn of Apley’s death.

In this particular case the meaning of "incredibly" really does mean "not credible." As it is not credible that politicos who can so callously watch as thousands upon thousands of innocent human beings die from a scheme they have concocted just to make themselves a bit of cash would have the humanity to mourn anyone. Least of all one of their co-conspirators.

Ex-Newsmax Host Who Attacked ‘Lying Freak’ Dr. Fauci Over ‘Scamdemic’ Has Died Of COVID

A couple of [Saint Trump's medals for the obviously blind] were placed over his eyes.

GOP Leader Who Fought Against Vaccine Dies After Weeks-Long Battle With Coronavirus

ICU Doc Shows What ‘Anxious and Scared’ Gov. Greg Abbott Did After COVID-19 News

Texas Anti-Mask ‘Freedom Defender’ Caleb Wallace Dies Of COVID-19

Sen. Lindsey Graham Urges People To Get Vaccinated After He Recovers From COVID-19

I don't suppose Republicans have the brains to understand that a little needle prick is a lot less of a bother than a life-and-death struggle to survive Covid, but it's a consolation at least to see that some of them do change their minds once they have to go through the life-and-death struggle themselves.

Southern Hospitals, Crushed By Delta Strain, Report Running Out Of ICU Beds

Israeli anti-vaxx leader dies of COVID-19

Right-Wing Radio’s ‘Mr. Anti-Vax’ Marc Bernier Dies Of Coronavirus

Not sorry for the crime, only sorry about being caught:

Four conservative radio talk-show hosts bashed coronavirus vaccines. Then they got sick.

Opinion: Govs. DeSantis and Abbott, in denial and risking lives, have betrayed the public trust

Right-Wing Anti-Vax Radio Host Who Mocked AIDS Victims Dies Of COVID-19

Republicans risk becoming face of delta surge as key governors fight mandates

I cannot think of another scourge on this nation as terrible as today's Republicans have been!

As Florida faces record deaths, DeSantis says Biden should follow his lead -- Florida is now reporting an average of 228 covid-19 deaths each day — a state record and by far the highest count in the nation.

Former DNC Head Howard Dean Slams Gov. DeSantis As Bigger ‘Lunatic’ Than Even Trump

Opinion: It’s time Democrats stood up for the ‘silent majority’

Florida school districts with mask mandates may be investigated and punished, state says

This is pretty much akin to victims being prosecuted if they do not agree to be murdered. And now you know just how insane it is to vote for any Republican.

Florida Faces Deadliest Phase Of COVID-19 Yet

****************************************************

Tennis player rants about opponent’s 8-minute bathroom break at U.S. Open: ‘It’s never once taken me that long’

Eight minutes is too long?!? It takes me at least that long just to undo my pants!

****************************************************

Rep. Jim Jordan Suddenly Remembers At Least One Other Call With Trump On Jan. 6: Report

Smart criminals know that the cops can access phone records, and that the cops catching you in a lie is not the same as you lying the whole day long to Trump's base of stupid deplorables.

Trump Funding Network Paid $4.3 Million To People, Firms Who Set Up Jan. 6 Rally: Report

****************************************************

As covid-19 surges in Miss., some people take unproven drug intended for treating worms in livestock

They take such astonishing poisons but they can't take a little prick from a vaccine specifically intended to save them from Covid-19! Some people's brains have not even evolved to the level of chimps yet! [Offer them a banana to take the vaccine.]

Don’t Use Horse And Cow Medicine To Treat COVID-19, FDA Warns

The ‘Miracle Cure’ From Hell: Why People Are Eating Horse Paste To Fight COVID-19

Great. Now the GOP nutsies want to de-worm their Republican base for profit. [Has anybody ever looked into whether Trump owned any Clorox stock, by the way? Just asking.]

Rand Paul Blames ‘Hatred For Trump’ For Resistance To Ivermectin

How right-wing media and social isolation lead people to eat horse paste

****************************************************

Most Americans favor troop withdrawal but criticize Biden’s performance, survey shows

Same with my kids: I love that they eat all their food but I'd still prefer that they eat it like human beings.

****************************************************

Despite court decision, state withholds school board members’ pay from Broward

Trump Republicans don't acknowledge that the law applies to them. You know, like common criminals--one of them Trump.

McCarthy Warns Phone, Tech Giants That GOP Won’t ‘Forget’ If They Turn Over Jan. 6 Records

Now, how is this NOT a blatantly outrageously self-evident case of witness-tampering & obstruction of justice? You know, like common criminals do--one of them Trump (remember that phone call they recorded in Georgia?). The Jan. 6 committee is investigating instances of law-breaking, after all.

‘Scared’ Kevin McCarthy Trashed On Twitter For ‘Thuggery’ After Threatening Telecoms

****************************************************

GOP douses Afghanistan withdrawal with misinformation

What a surprise.

****************************************************

In the Eyes of God, Does a State Have the Right to Kill a Man?

Sure: If God hadn't wanted men to kill every living thing they could get their hands on He wouldn't have given them canines.

****************************************************

Dogs abandoned at Kabul airport prompted outrage. Here’s what we know.

The Koran sez 'good' Muslims do not own dogs.

****************************************************

Biden reportedly told Afghan leader, weeks before his government fell: ‘You clearly have the best military’

Biden must have been talking about all the American equipment the Afghan military handed over to the Taliban, not about the Afghan soldiers themselves.

****************************************************

Doctors dismayed by patients who fear vaccines but clamor for unproven ivermectin

I say: Give it to'em! Some people learn by the thoughts in their heads, others by their lumps. [Sure, some people never learn; but that's how Republicans get reelected.]

****************************************************

A former Marine was pulled over for following a truck too closely. Police took nearly $87,000 of his cash.

Marine must've thought he was still driving in Afghanistan or Syria. Sucker!

****************************************************

You Can Store Compost in Your Freezer

Why not? It already smells as if there's been some in there for a while.

****************************************************

Podcaster Joe Rogan Has COVID-19, Says He Took Ivermectin To Treat It

Does not say whether he stayed at home or went to covalence at Santa Anita.

270 Doctors, Scientists Call Out Joe Rogan’s COVID Misinfo: 'Menace To Public Health'

****************************************************

Donald Trump Accuses Former UN Ambassador Nikki Haley Of Hypocrisy

Nikki Haley must be like, what, the 1000th creep who sold her soul to Trump and whom he's now thrown under the bus just to watch the wheels going slowly over her. [And there are a 1000 more creeps waiting in line. Patience.] "Crunchy, crunch!"

Trump Tower’s key tenants have fallen behind on rent and moved out. But Trump has one reliable customer: His own PAC.

Trump-appointed ambassador directed government business to his hotel, emails show

Mary Trump Rips ‘Fascist’ Uncle, Assumes He Doesn’t Even Know What That Means

****************************************************

National Republicans Strangely Quiet About Texas Abortion Law Ruling

Be careful what you wish for: Republicans know all too well that their attack on women voters was not a very intelligent move. They just don't have an easy way to walk it back now. [But they're strategizing. "O how to blame it on the democrats! How?]

Meanwhile, GOP strategizing on vaccines: Mike Huckabee Blames Vax Hesitancy On Biden ‘Boring Us To Death’ With Science

Why Democrats want to talk about Texas’s abortion law (and Republicans don't)

****************************************************

Requiring customers to be vaccinated can draw $5,000 fines starting soon in Florida

Shooting someone just because he was walking towards you, on the other hand, is honored in Florida under the Stand Your Ground law.

****************************************************

Preservationists aim to shoot down plan to demolish Al Capone’s Palm Island house

Yeah! What's going on here?! I thought Al Capone was one of our greatest, most beloved national figures. [What's Kevin McCarthy's number? By Trump's little hands, every Republican out there is gonna wanna be in on this.]

****************************************************

Satanic Temple Floats Devilishly Clever Strategy To Dodge Texas Abortion Law

Since the anti-abortionist crowds are mostly all nutsy Christians, when you need an abortion simply claim you were inseminated by the Devil and you're now carrying the Antichrist; then the anti-abortionists will all run out to try to get you an abortion instead of trying to oppose it. [Brains-over-Brawn. sir. Brains-over-Brawn.]

****************************************************

Facebook Apologizes For Labeling Video Of Black Men As ‘Primates’

And here I thought I was a primate. Now I may be thrown in with pigs, sheep, cows, chickens--Who knows what!

****************************************************

Stop fretting, Democrats. Use your power.

Yeah, no. Republicans are like the crazed murderer threatening to shoot everyone while Democrats are like the dweeb hostage who's always saying: "Oh, I'm sure he wouldn't do THAT."

Opinion: The Justice Department moves to protect abortion rights. It should start a trend.

****************************************************

Joe Manchin is foolish to indefinitely hold up the reconciliation bill

Never be misled by appearances--the person you least suspect in the world often turns out to be the worst serial killer.

****************************************************

Indiana University Football Team Can’t Spell ‘Indiana’ And Fans Are Shook

The important thing is whether they can play football. They can always hire some Poindexter to spell their names for them.

****************************************************

Southern Republicans Cannot Be Trusted With Public Health

Leastwise, not those who never graduated third grade (and which you can easily identify by the fact that they are usually the ones who have been elected to public office down there).

****************************************************

Rep. Jim Jordan Gets Jabbed On Twitter After Screwing Up Basic U.S. History

You really think if these Republicans would have gotten a decent education they'd be behaving like they are today?

****************************************************

Californians Coming Home After Fleeing Wildfire Now Face Bear Break-Ins

Man, if there's anything worse than a home invasion it's when the home invaders are naked.

****************************************************

The GOP’s delusion-fueled election ‘audits’ spell trouble for 2024

These are no delusion-fueled ‘audits’ but deliberately malicious and sinister attempts to subvert our democracy by people who care more about their own personal gains than the general good.

****************************************************

Scientists uncover 35-year-old recording of Australian duck swearing repeatedly

Apparently duck had such large floppy feet that everybody around him kept stepping on them.

****************************************************

Hacker claims to have stolen information of 7 million Israelis

Sez now he will finally be able to send them each his or hers birthday greetings on the right date.

****************************************************

Ask Amy: As 70-something husband chases teen, wife gears up for divorce

"70-something?!" She should just wait for widowhood instead.

****************************************************

Carolyn Hax: New mom’s loitering in-laws take offense when she asks them to leave

Well, "Get the FK out!" IS pretty frank.

****************************************************

Opinion: How Republicans manage to be both anarchists and authoritarians

So, you never heard of schizophrenics then?

****************************************************

Can Birds Tip Us Off to Natural Disasters?

Well, parrots, Magpies... and only if they're carrying enough change for the phone call.

****************************************************

Lil Uzi Vert Says His $24 Million Forehead Diamond Was Ripped Out While Crowd Surfing

"Dude, here I was trying to keep myself from being suffocated in this crushing mob when suddenly this dude went by with $24 million dollars on his forehead."

"Wow, dude, what did you do?"

****************************************************

Opinion: Republicans keep crossing the line. Democrats must hold them accountable.

If the Democrat majority can't find the gumption to slap down the few Republicans trying to destroy democracy then they will be shamefully slammed down by these same few Republicans.

'This Is Untenable': Supreme Court Justices Slam Decision On Texas Abortion Ban

Biden must immediately propose FOUR new nominees for the Supreme Court, and if the Senate does not approve them then the country must wait out the 2022 midterms because this present Senate is garbage. [Waiting for the dumpster.]

Opinion: The harsh truth of this moment: Republicans understand power. Democrats do not.

The Texas abortion decision shows why the Democrats must push to add four justices to the court

Democrats To Probe Secretive ‘Shadow Docket’ Following Supreme Court Texas Abortion Ruling

Opinion: One tactic to stop abortion bounty hunters from demolishing women’s constitutional rights

Opinion: What the Justice Department should do to stop the Texas abortion law

Opinion: Stop fretting, Democrats. Use your power.

Opinion: With Democratic help, Republicans notch a victory in their war on government

Opinion: Joe Manchin’s new threat to destroy Biden’s agenda is worse than it seems

Republican Group Rips Rep. Madison Cawthorn Over ‘Bloodshed’ Threat In New Video

Opinion: This is how a Republican lie is born

Opinion: What are Adam Kinzinger and Liz Cheney waiting for?

****************************************************

Prince Albert Breaks Silence On Princess Charlene Marriage Rumors

What? Isn't Prince Albert in a can yet?!

****************************************************

Ask Dr. Andrea: I think I’m a good person, but I’m so jealous of others. What can I do?

Sabotage the Hell outta them! See if there's room in your heart to feel sorry for any of them: Maybe you're a nice guy & don't know it.

****************************************************

Chemnitz Jewish restaurant attacker given 1-year suspended sentence

Oh wow, what a great opportunity to do it all over again more successfully!

****************************************************

Progressive Judicial Group Launches $1.5 Million Effort To Expand Supreme Court

Although I am for adding those four additional justices now, the best solution is to do away with lifetime appointments to the Supreme Court and have every new president replace three of the nine justices (replacing the justices who have served the longest, not excluding the chief justice). Again, not every four years but every time a new president is elected, which should satisfy everyone.

****************************************************

TSA doubles fines for people who refuse to wear masks at airports, in other transportation settings

MAGA nuts want freedom from wearing masks and getting vaccinated but not from wearing clothes:

You don't wear clothes you get arrested. But you never hear the MAGA nuts advocating for the freedom from having to wear clothes (which doesn't harm anyone), at the same time they're clamoring for the freedom from wearing masks or getting vaccinated (which harms everyone). That is the definition of being nuts.

GOP lawmaker who refused to follow mask mandate while flying says she can’t get to the Alaskan capital

Why doesn't she walk? That way she won't be killing a lot of other people just to get her ass there.

****************************************************

Report: COVID Cases, Deaths Notably Worse In Red States Than Blue States

In the Republicans' defense: It's their business to get themselves reelected, not to keep their constituents from losing their stupid lives (it's up to their constituents to save themselves if they so wish).

****************************************************

Critics Remind Dan Crenshaw That Mandatory Vaccines Have Existed In U.S. For Decades

Crenshaw sez that's a lie: That he was born yesterday and he doesn't remember any such practice happening during his entire life.

****************************************************

Trump Drops Big Hint About Presidential Run At Meeting With Manhattan Police

Sez if he's elected again this time anybody who wants anything from the government had better be prepared to pay & to pay cash on the barrelhead, pal.

Opinion: Republicans cannot duck responsibility for Trump

Opinion: Yes, the Jan. 6 insurrectionists were terrorists. George W. Bush just indicted them.

Opinion: How Josh Hawley, Ted Cruz and an irrational system make us more vulnerable to the next 9/11

****************************************************

As California recall vote nears, Republicans ready to blame ‘shenanigans’ for Newsom win

Another election loss, another Republican push to paint elections as pointless. Can despotism and tyranny be far behind?

Opinion: A dangerous trend among GOP candidates shows the Trump threat is here to stay -- Republican Laxalt smarmily insisted the press is attacking anyone who wants “secure” and “fair” elections. In fact, Laxalt is the one threatening to undermine secure and fair elections. -- As this demonstrates, for Trumpist politicians, the refusal to commit to respecting legitimate election losses is now a badge of honor.

I am beginning to believe that thanks to Trump and his Republicans the time is not that far off when Congress will be forced to pass laws (or, preferably, a constitutional amendment) mandating that "no one may run for public office in these United States without first having agreed to accept the results of the election--under penalty of law (such as, in the event that a losing candidate challenges the election in the courts and loses he will then be disqualified from ever again running for any office anywhere in the U.S. if he/she continues to suggest the election was not legit)".

****************************************************

A stranger injected a woman with semen while she was running errands. Now he’s going to prison.

"I suppose," the woman said, "I should be grateful nobody ever properly explained to him the thing about the bird & the bees."

****************************************************

Two Florida middle-schoolers charged with plotting mass shooting after ‘extensively studying’ Columbine

When will today's people learn? To teenagers death is glorious, prison is a badge of honor. What you have to do is take a few of these idiots behind the woodshed and whip the crap outta them--That's the thing they don't want and will carefully walk the straight & narrow to avoid when they watch their heroes balling in pain like little sissies.

Students are destroying bathrooms, swiping school supplies in latest TikTok challenge gone awry

****************************************************

Ancient warrior found buried with his steed and his dog

Gravediggers said that for some reason dog semed to have a disapproving look on its face.

****************************************************

Ala. man dies after being turned away from 43 hospitals as covid-19 packs ICUs, family says

Yes. nice of his survivors to recommend people get the vaccine now that Covid-19 has killed him. But he forgot to thank the Republicans before he died for convincing him (and all the other freedom-loving covidwhacos who packed those hospitals shut) to not take it: It would have been nicer still.

Now the rght-wing nuts are actually threatening hospitals where vaccine-deniers go to die their miserable deaths instead of advising their followers to simply take the little pinch that could have easily saved their lives, and save the lives of so many others:

QAnon Followers Threaten Hospital After Outspoken COVID Denier Dies Of COVID

Texas Embalmer Shares Nightmare COVID Experiences: ‘Unlike Anything I’ve Seen Before’

****************************************************

Florida ready to fine cities, counties ‘millions’ for requiring employee vaccinations

Or, in the common parlance, "or so continues the GOP war against everyday Americans" (and, logically enough, primarily their own base because of course they are the ones stupid enough to heed them).

Opinion: How the GOP threatens harm to red state residents, as revealed in a new study

****************************************************

Florida Man Exposed Himself To 7 Toll Collectors: Police -- Toll workers told troopers the man had no clothes on and was “showing his privates.”

In perv's defense: “Showing your privates” is a time-honored practice of us monkeys ever since we lived up on trees. [Had he done it from inside the monkey cage at the zoo he would have been rewarded with peanuts.]

****************************************************

Speakers at DeSantis news conference promoted false vaccine claims while Fla. governor stood by

In DeSantis's defense: He's not a Democratic governor, so his job is not to safeguard the lives & health of his contituents (or looking after them in any way, shape, or form).

Opinion: Ron DeSantis reaches a new low of cynicism and recklessness

Opinion: Chris Wallace’s grilling of a GOP governor exposes a much bigger scam

****************************************************

Dan Quayle Convinced Mike Pence To Ignore Trump’s Decertification Pleas: Book -- “Wow,” said MSNBC’s Andrea Mitchell: “Dan Quayle comes to the rescue of the republic.”

Good. He finally learned how to spell p-o-t-a-t-o!

Opinion: Awful new revelations about Trump and Jan. 6 show Mike Pence is no hero

Dan Quayle Convinced Mike Pence To Ignore Trump’s Decertification Pleas: Book

Trump Threatened To Withhold Friendship From Pence Over Election Certification: Book -- Trump reportedly told Pence, “I don’t want to be your friend anymore if you don’t do this.”

Then Trump picked up his baseball & mitten miffed and ran off for his mother (Melania).

Top general was so fearful Trump might spark war that he made secret calls to his Chinese counterpart, new book says -- Milley saw parallels between Jan. 6 and the 1905 Russian Revolution, which set off unrest throughout the Russian Empire and, though it failed, helped create the conditions for the October Revolution of 1917, in which the Bolsheviks executed a successful coup that set up the world’s first communist state. Vladimir Lenin, who led the revolution, called 1905 a “dress rehearsal.” A similar logic could apply with Jan. 6, Milley thought as he wrestled with the meaning of that day, telling senior staff: “What you might have seen was a precursor to something far worse down the road.”

All of this to keep Trump from getting upset

****************************************************Opinion: Once again, the GOP’s answer is ‘no.’ Democrats should take it and run.

The GOP is an irrelevant party of ever more & more desperate mere attention-seekers. The only people who are keeping Republicans relevant are Joe Manchin and a couple of other Democrat attention-seekers themselves crying out for selfish personal reasons of their own. The pressure should be entirely on them, if attention is what they're after.

****************************************************

Donald Trump Predicts America Will End Within 3 Years

Ah! Finally a sign that he doesn't intend running for president again!

****************************************************

PM Update: Staying sultry through Wednesday

Just be sure to change into a more conservative outfit before reporting for work on Thursday.

****************************************************

Does your Airbnb have a hidden camera? Experts share tips for protecting yourself.

Don't do anything you wouldn't do on Times Square.

****************************************************

This pastor will sign a religious exemption for vaccines if you donate to his church

Hey, a least one of them is honest enough to admit that he's just peddling bits & pieces of Jesus for cash.

****************************************************

The N.F.L.’s New Play: Embrace Betting Ads and Watch the Money Pour In

The heads of the 32 families have agreed to allow gambling & sundry other sins, but say they will put a hit on any player caught selling heroin.

****************************************************

Should I let my teen daughter wear what she wants?

No. My daughter wanted to go out wearing only her bush & nipples, So I finally had to put my foot down.

****************************************************

Street closures begin for rally in support of Jan. 6 insurrection defendants

Or, as Cubans call it: The Le Zumba el Mango Rally.

****************************************************

Donald Trump Blasted Paul Ryan For Condemning White Supremacy, New Book Claims

We can only imagine how much it might have benefitted the nation had Paul Ryan had the courage & patriotism to publicly denounce Mister Trump's incredibly “repulsive” statements.

****************************************************

The potential trouble with Jan. 6 defendant prosecutions

Seems to me as if the judges are trying to help the defendants find some rationale for verdicts of innocence.

What Congress was doing on Jan.6 was an official proceeding any whichway you want to look at it, and the law specifically says that "Whoever corruptly … obstructs, influences, or impedes any official proceeding, or attempts to do so” can be punished by up to 20 years in prison.

Judges have no leeway to overturn Congress's own definition of what it was doing on Jan.6 as an official proceeding and reclassify it as some 'as luck would have it' meeting to arrange a lobbyist's birthday party or something.

****************************************************

California’s recall election confirmed everything that is wrong with today’s Republican Party

"Win by hook or crook & let the Democrats try to win it fair & square: See where that gets them. Ha!" [The new GOP Motto.]

****************************************************

New Zealand men abandon Pakistan tour

Say they're going to instead explore the crater of a volcano that's threatening to explode at any minute now.

****************************************************

Trump gave six months extra Secret Service protection to his kids, three officials. It cost taxpayers $1.7 million.

Hey, that's scratch Trump would've had to come up with himself. And you all know Trump.

****************************************************

A woman accepted $50 from a West Virginia police chief so he could rape her 17-year-old relative, feds say

Sometimes one reads such things they make one question whether we're all even in the same species!

****************************************************

Trump expresses solidarity with rioters arrested in Jan. 6 attack ahead of rally planned for Saturday

If proof was needed that Trump was the traitors' ringleader.

****************************************************

Opinion: Raphael Warnock’s relentless voting rights push

God bless you Raphael Warnock! Generations of Americans yet unborn will bless you if you win your fight. And I, who am old enough to understand fully just how critical your fight is, and who am here alive today able to tell you in person, say to you: God bless you Senator Warnock for your tireless defense of democracy! If you win we will all win, if you lose we will all lose.

    “It is a contradiction to say we must protect
    minority rights in the Senate while refusing to
    protect minority rights in the society.”

    --Georgia’s Raphael G. Warnock (D)

The Filibuster’s Fate Is Already Decided. Just Look To The 2022 Democratic Senate Candidates.

****************************************************

Trump Angling To Put In Power Election Officials Who Could Twist Vote For Him In 2024

Well, when you don't prosecute a failed coup's conspirators you have to expect them to try to make their next coup a much more successful one.

The one good thing about all this is that the conspirators are known. The bad thing is how febble the effort is to stop them!

Partner Of Fallen Capitol Police Officer ‘Enraged’ By Trump’s New Support For Rioters

Elise Stefanik’s ‘Hateful Rhetoric’ Ripped In Stinging Editorial By Hometown Newspaper

Judges strike down North Carolina voter ID law, citing its ‘discriminatory purpose’ against African Americans

Opinion: The Jan. 6 attack demands that we protect voting rights

Opinion: How Democrats can capitalize on the MAGA crowd’s frequent humiliations

Lindsey Graham and Mike Lee personally vetted Trump’s fraud claims, new book says. They were unpersuaded.

****************************************************

Political Operative Pardoned By Trump Accused Of Illegal Campaign Scam

There are legal campaign scams? There are legal scams?

****************************************************

Seth Rogen Says What We’re All Thinking About The Emmys This Year

"Wasn't the last damn Emmys like two weeks ago~?!?"

****************************************************

I Had Professional Nude Photos Taken To Surprise My Partner. It Was A Disaster.

Had to be: Who the Hell wants to get pictures like that of one's business partner?

****************************************************

Ken Burns Thinks This Abraham Lincoln Quote Is Now More Relevant Than Ever

"Off with their heads!"

****************************************************

I Went To A Nudist Swingers Resort Without My Girlfriend. Here’s What Happened.

We know what happened: All nudists are swingers. None of'em got their shit strapped down so it don't swing.

****************************************************

Fox News Host Attacks Kamala Harris For Attending A Football Game

In defense of Fox News: Harris isn't saying or doing crazy stupid things like most Republicans. So this is the best Fox News can do to attack her.

Fox News Host Criticizes Biden For Riding A Bike

Guess Biden isn't threatening to destroy the nation like Trump or anything like that then.

****************************************************

Analysis: Texas’s abortion law is even more unpopular than we thought

Well, what did you expect? Republicans oppose simple little non-intrusive mask mandates in defense of 'freedom' and yet they mercilessly mandate what women may do with the very innards of their own bodies.

Texas Gov. Won’t Budge On Abortion Exceptions When Chris Wallace Grills Him On 15,000 Rapes

****************************************************

As Yusuf/Cat Stevens reemerges on the public stage, how should we feel about his music — and his legacy?

Well, I've listened to my dog's yelp a lot more than Cat's so I'm thinking maybe I'll continue to go with that.

****************************************************

Opinion: The Jan. 6 attack demands that we protect voting rights

Is it any mystery that those who believe democratic elections are fraudulent, unnecessary or irrelevant are the greatest enemies of democracy?

How Trump endangered democracy, and how Biden hopes to repair it

It turns out that Trump’s claims of fraud were not scrupulously vetted for accuracy

Opinion: New details about Trump’s Dominion scam help explain our authoritarian slide

By memo or by mob, Trump and his team positioned the country for chaos

Time is running out for Congress to overturn Jim Crow-style laws spreading throughout America

****************************************************

Telling People To Get Vaccinated Is Leftist Plot Against Trump Voters, Breitbart Claims

Sez Trump voters can't get enough Jim Jones Kool-Aide and that getting Covid to kill them is their only other option.

****************************************************

Opinion: A Texas Republican’s vile rant shows ‘great replacement’ is becoming GOP dogma -- Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick (R) blasted the Biden administration for “allowing” in one or two million migrants this year. In 18 years, Patrick railed, if “every one of them has two or three children, you’re talking about millions and millions and millions of new voters. Who do you think they are going to vote for?” Patrick seethed.

I did not know all the descendants of the Irish were still voting the way their immigrant ancestors did: I know an awful lot of Irish Republicans. Are most Cubans today voting like their 1960s parents? (I remember they started voting Democrat, then all they switched to Republicans, and now are slowly mostly going back to Democrats. So, what's coming tomorrow?) Are the Polish, the Germans, the Italians, the Jews all still voting like their original immigrant grandparents did a 100 years ago? This would be news to me. Frankly, I think a lot of African-American voters might still be Lincoln Republicans if the GOP wasn't so egregiously trying to take away their voting rights. [The fault, dear Brutus, lies not with the voters but with the Republicans.]

****************************************************

Trump Sues New York Times Over Tax Bombshells, Seeks ‘No Less’ Than $100 Million

Sez he needs at least that much to avoid his next bankruptcy. [Just like bank robbers think the only way to make money is robbing banks, Trump thinks the only way to make money is by a well-timed bankruptcy that fleeces all his foolishly trusting investors.]

Legal Experts Spot The Fatal Flaws With Donald Trump’s Lawsuit Against His Niece, NYT

Trump couldn't declare bankruptcy & fleece them because they were way too smart to invest in him?

****************************************************

Report: Zuckerberg OK’ed Filling Newsfeeds With Pro-Facebook Fluff Amid Bad Press

And now you know why it's always a bad idea to let kids who normally should only be living down in their parents' basement in position of power. [They make stupid decisions & always think they're smarter than the cops.] Hello, Trump!

****************************************************

Susan Collins To Endorse Paul LePage For Another Term As Maine Gov. -- The former governor known for his racist comments once called himself "Baby Trump."

What were you saying again about Susan Collins being a 'moderate' Republican? She's a Republican.

****************************************************

Sen. Grassley, the oldest GOP senator at 88, announces he will seek another term

Of course, no one really knows whether Grassley still understands he's in the Senate and not in an assisted living home somewhere. Although there might not really be much difference.

****************************************************

Upset by porn and ‘immoral content,’ a man planted pipe bombs outside cellphone stores, FBI says

Sez he couldn't stop himself from watching porn so he decided to do the next best thing: To blow up all the world's communication networks streaming it.

****************************************************

A Taliban founder says cutting off hands as punishment will be ‘necessary for security’

Sure, that way they won't be able to shoot at'em. James Garner had the same idea in that western where he'd bust the trigger fingers of rival gunfighters. Taliban probably got the idea from watching that movie.

****************************************************

Elon Musk And Grimes Split Up!

Yeah, but has anyody looked behind his ears?

****************************************************

Doctor who has lost over 100 patients to covid says some deny virus from their deathbeds: ‘I don’t believe you’

Do you still have to ask how on earth can Trump be a hero to the mob of MAGA Republicans he's so thoroughly & so often fleeced? How in the world can most Republicans be stupid enough to still believe that any fraud at all occurred in the 2020 election?

Our constitutional crisis is already here -- One Trump supporter didn’t go to the hospital after developing covid-19 symptoms because he didn’t want to contribute to the liberal case against Trump. “I’m not going to add to the numbers,” he told a reporter.

COVID Is Killing Rural Americans At Twice The Rate Of Urban Residents

Somehow, we’re still learning the depths of Trump’s dishonesty

If you think the 2020 election was in some way suspect, you've been misled

The Trump-backed audits that keep debunking Trump, ranked

****************************************************

Democrats Discussing 2 Options To Change The Filibuster To Pass Voting Rights Laws

Opinion: As the GOP renounces democratic governance, the rationale to keep the filibuster is evaporating -- The inescapable conclusion is that the GOP would destroy elections and the peaceful transfer of power if given a chance.

Don't say you werent warned if you give Republicans a second shot at their coup.

How Democrats’ New Voting Rights Bill Tackles The Threat Of Election Subversion

A liar whose only agenda was lying his way to power preyed on the prejudices of a portion of the electorate and was elected president but ultimately proved too incompetent & ignorant to carry out his planned coup.

Remember the Kansas Compromise crisis before the Civil War, and understand that just like the Kansas Compromise settled nothing Trump's Coup has also failed to settle the constitutional flaws which permitted it: Either address those flaws now and settle the matter once & for all or face a much more serious coup in the future. Those who are not certain it's an inevitability had better count the number of today's Republicans who are pushing not to fix but for strengthening those many flaws.

Opinion: Ominous new details about Trump’s coup attempt require Democrats to act -- “The window is closing,” Rick Hasen, an election law professor at University of California-Irvine, told me. “The filibuster is the major impediment to Congress taking steps to avert a potential stolen election in 2024.” Do Democrats grasp the true urgency of this? It’s not clear that they do.

Valorizing Jan. 6 -- As New York magazine’s Jonathan Chait has written, Trump “has slowly turned January 6 from a black mark that threatened to expunge him from Republican politics, to a regrettable episode that his allies preferred to leave behind, to a glorious uprising behind which he could rally his adherents.”

And this is all because of the manifest timidity by the Justice Department and other law agencies in charging Donald Trump, the undisputed ringleader of this ugly insurrection, with the innumerable crimes he has committed.

Law Expert Wonders Why A Grand Jury Isn’t Mulling Sedition Charges Against Steve Bannon

****************************************************

Witness: Taliban hang dead body in Afghan city's main square

Say it was great to see a corpse hanging in a main square again--Something which hasn't been seen in the world since back in the Dark Ages.

****************************************************

Opinion: More evidence that talking to Republicans is useless

The Democrats must start seriously fighting back against the Republican attack on America or soon the battle will move on to the streets. I do not know if that's what the Republicans want, but I'm sure that's not what the Democrats wish for the country.

Our constitutional crisis is already here

Yes, Trump is horridly stupid, but so was Hitler, and so was Stalin, and so was Mussolini, and so was Fidel Castro, and so are most criminals in the world--but that never stopped any of them. They succeeded through a freak combination of breaks which when they finally straightened out landed them dead or in prison. But only after they had brought about immeasurable harm and suffering to others. Trump has done more of that than most & is well on his way to trying to do even more of it in the future.

Biden White House leans toward releasing information about Trump and Jan. 6 attack, setting off legal and political showdown

Biden Not Interested In Giving Trump ‘Executive Privilege’ Protection From Jan. 6 Probe

****************************************************

How Do I Tell the Story of Robert E. Lee?

Detail what he did and don't try to see it through his eyes: You will say that what he did is treason to his country. That his personal character is written in the false hope he gave Abraham Lincoln, only to stab him in the back. That his generalship consisted mainly of pushing people to their deaths until a more humane opponent gave up the slaughter. And that his surrender(s) came about because he finally had to fight an opponent who also would not give up the slaughter, and he just ran out of men. (Detail especially the battle of Gettysburg.)

****************************************************

The nation faces financial calamity. Republicans will be to blame.

Maybe. But Manchin and Sinema will have to bear most of that blame too.

The Legislation Joe Manchin Is Holding Up Would Help His State — A Lot

****************************************************

Why are there still so many nuclear weapons?

Because people are harder to kill than cockroaches. [I once told this joke at the zoo in front of the monkey cage and the moneys there couldn't stop rolling over with laughter.]

****************************************************

Stephanie Grisham Reveals Trump Called To Tell Her About His Penis

In Donald Trump's defense: He prefers to think of himself as a 'penis' rather than the more vulgarly common 'dick' everybody knows him as.

****************************************************

R. Kelly Is Convicted on All Counts After Decades of Abuse Accusations

R. Kelly now convinced at last that he can't fly no'mo, no'mo: Down to the airplane hangar for R. Kelly. Permanently. [Wouldn't it had been wonderful if Trump had been the one who'd been found guilty on all charges!]

****************************************************

Liz Cheney: Many GOP Lawmakers Have Privately Encouraged My Stand Against Trump

And many more longed to engage in rape, child molestation, and cannibalism. But they kept their longings to themselves, as it also might damage their political careers expressing them publicly. [From the best-selling ancient classic So What? by Socrates.]

****************************************************

Tampa man exonerated for murder after 37 years likely won't receive compensation due to Florida law

After Eighteen Years Behind Bars for a Crime She Didn’t Commit, Rosa Jimenez Is Finally Free

He Was Nearly Executed 4 Years Ago. Now A Texas Appeals Court Has Tossed His Conviction.

Decade of Bad Busts by Authorities Costs New York City $305 Million

The Central Park Five: ‘We Were Just Baby Boys’

Verdicts of guilt or innocence in serious crimes cases (most especially those of murder or mayhem) should not be allowed to devolve into popularity contests. They should be forced to be adjudicated strictly only on the facts in evidence. But, how to do that when juries [now] are allowed to vote however they like, for whatever reason they like?

A jury can go into the jury room and by a quick show of hands decide guilt or innocence (without a word being spoken by any of them on the evidence or why they're voting the way they are). This may take only a few minutes. And then their verdict may be handed to the judge, who has few options but to accept it. This is disgraceful because there is no way to determine if the jury found the accused guilty or innocent on the facts or simply because they liked or disliked him. I can't imagine anyone preferring this system for his/her own trial over some really serious charge!

A wiser system would introduce a jurist into the jury room (not the presiding judge but an independent actor picked by the judge from a pool of outside judges). This jurist would go into the jury room and observe the deliberations, take notes. The jury could not converse with him/her. After the jury reaches its verdict and hands it to the presiding judge, the jurist would render his opinion as to whether the jury reached its verdict on the facts or on some extraneous matter. If the presiding judge finds sufficient cause to believe the verdict was not strictly on the facts presented in evidence he/she could then declare a mistrial. [An alternate method would be that every juror would have to write down a detailed reason of why he/she voted the way they did so the presiding judge may adjudicate whether the vote was on the evidence or on some extraneous matter, requiring either a hung jury or jurors going back to deliberate some more.]

Yes, it would raise the costs of jury trials, but this way a lot fewer innocent people would be found guilty and a lot fewer guilty people would escape justice.

Bill Cosby Has Strong Opinions About R. Kelly’s Conviction -- The disgraced comedian told TMZ the singer “got railroaded” in his sex-trafficking trial that ended Monday.

In case you had any doubts that R. Kelly or Bill Cosby was guilty.

****************************************************

Biden officials restore penalties for killing birds, reversing Trump

Yes, Col. Sanders is dead, but he didn't get away clean.

****************************************************

Trump says he did 'pretty much the opposite' of Fauci's COVID advice

Well, that pretty much explains in detail the 500,000 Americans he murdered as effectively as if he'd injected each and every last one of them with the Covid-19 virus.

QUOTE: Fauci said Trump "very likely" caused Americans to die by spreading misinformation about the pandemic, according to Business Insider.

Trump did more than that: He frustrated professional medical personnel's work in trying to safeguard and protect the American public from the pandemic via good & proven means & protocols which would have most probably saved the lives of most of those who perished. Trump worked against mask wearing and general testing, against physical-distancing, and not only claimed a number of ridiculous and dangerous stuff as cures but spoke from the bully pulpit of the presidency about the virus being no worse than a common cold or flu virus! [As if he were making smartass wisecracks over a backyard fence.] And instead of putting in change of fighting the pandemic people with the medical expertise to do so Trump made sure he put in charge of this critical work lost-in-space politico Mike Pence, his idiot son-in-law, and other clowns whose only expertise really was in knowing how to stroke narcissistic Trump's hurt-baby ego.

Although, in the end, I will always ultimately blame the American people themselves who voted for this incompetent vicious criminal: In a democracy the buck always stops with the voters.

Scientist Complained Trump ‘Election Stuff’ Overrode COVID Concerns In His White House

Trump’s Mar-a-Lago Pals Aimed To ‘Monetize’ Veterans Medical Records, House Probe Finds

Stephanie Grisham’s Book Details Trump’s ‘Terrifying’ Temper

‘Entitled Know-It-Alls’ Ivanka Trump And Jared Kushner Hijacked COVID Response, Book Says

Homeland Security Shielded Trump By Ignoring Putin, White Supremacy Risks, Ex-Insider Says

Maddow Reads Damning Giuliani Testimony Showing Roots Of Election Conspiracy

Trump loses case meant to silence former aide Omarosa Manigault Newman

MAGA Fan Behind Arizona Audit Crushes Yet Another Pro-Trump Conspiracy Theory

Pro-Trump conspiracy theorists increasingly face legal consequences

Opinion: Here’s why the Jan. 6 instigators must be punished

****************************************************

Judge Wonders How So Many ‘Law-Abiding’ Americans ‘Morphed Into Terrorists’ On Jan. 6

Short answer: Utterly horrid criminal Trump
Long answer: the GOP

****************************************************

Why Don’t Democrats Just Ditch The Debt Ceiling? -- Senate Budget Committee chair Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) suggested Republicans would come around, since they’d have to be crazy not to.

That's a crazy bet to make, as the Republicans have proven over & over & over again that they ARE quite psychotic. [Bernie Sanders really IS crazy.]

****************************************************

The Chicago Bears have been trying to leave Soldier Field for 50 years. They might be closer than ever.

Finally somebody told the big apes to just wait until the crowd starts leaving the stadium and follow them out.

****************************************************

Opinion: If they’re going to keep passing religious laws, we’re going to need exemptions -- A person can claim a religious exemption to the equal opportunity clause that’s required in all federal contracts; to the contraceptive coverage mandate of the Affordable Care Act; and, in some states, to the requirement that a child be immunized to attend public school.

You mean because I believe in God I should be allowed to murder people?!? Is that in the Constitution?! [I thought that was sharia.]

Opinion: If they’re going to keep passing religious laws, we’re going to need exemptions -- In Louisiana, the attorney general helpfully offered language to parents in his department who object to school mask mandates: “I do not consent to forcing a face covering on my child, who is created in the image of God."

[Same reason the Taliban does not allow terrorists who were created in the image of God to shave.]

****************************************************

Trump May Have Let Slip Details Of His Election Scheme As He Attacked Georgia Governor -- Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis has been investigating Trump’s actions since days after that Jan. 2 call.

Willis sez she thinks another two or three hundred years investigating it will probably happen soon. Sez Trump is not a Negro who stole ten cents worth of groceries in the state--If Trump were he's be doing twenty years pretty quick now. [Sez the law does not like to inconvenience black people by wasting their time waitin' around to be convicted.]

Trump Had a Mob. He Also Had a Plan.

A Trump lawyer wrote an instruction manual for a coup. Why haven’t you seen it on the news?

Arizona Vote Review ‘Made Up the Numbers,’ Election Experts Say

****************************************************

Analysis: Why is Washington so dysfunctional?

Because there are always a couple of Democrats who just can't quite accept in their own minds that they are Democrats.

Why? Because it's hard to be so utterly selfish without being a Republican:

What is the gain for a senator to block an agenda full of popular proposals?

Personal gains.

Gains which are not entirely the public's are entirely all the personal gains of the politician.

Opinion: Republicans are feeling liberated -- to set the country on fire

Opinion: How to cope with a deceitful, anti-democratic party

****************************************************

On the death of species

If you're thinking of sitting around sheding tears for species gone you're going to have to live many more lifetimes than just the one your species has.

****************************************************

Getting Beyond Small Talk: Study Finds People Enjoy Deep Conversations With Strangers

Tell me about it! That's why I'm forced to pace around park benches instead of resting on'em.

****************************************************

Can Fruit Fly Research Help Improve Survival of Cancer Patients?

Possibly: Some of those fruit flies are very dedicated and conscientious professionals.

****************************************************

Woman Who Survived Spanish Flu, World War Succumbs To COVID-19

It sounds to me like you're saying she died of extreme old age.

****************************************************

France’s Sarkozy Sentenced To Year Of House Arrest In Campaign Financing Case

I have never completely understood the concept of 'house arrest.' I've been in 'house arrest' essentially all my life!

****************************************************

96-Year-Old Accused Nazi Concentration Camp Secretary ‘On The Run’ After Trial No-Show

Sez she would have got clean away if she could have remembered how shoes work.

****************************************************

Ancient Egyptian killer whale with legs identified as new species

Scientists say that in spite of its ability to jump up in the air like today's killer whales it still used to put its pants on one leg at a time.

****************************************************

Deaf Man Arrested, Jailed For 4 Months After He Couldn’t Hear Police Commands: Lawsuit

Same thing used to happen to Beethoven, but he was always released right away because his constant tap-dancing wouldn't let the guards sleep.

****************************************************

Biden Says ‘Everybody Is Frustrated’ As His Agenda Stalls

Claims that being frustrated is a lot better than doing something about it. [Which also happens to be the Democrats' Motto.]

****************************************************

Merck Says Experimental Pill Cuts Worst Effects Of COVID-19

Trump associate sez pill will short-circuit people's connection with gravity and make them float away into outer space. Fauci sez this is highly improbable.

****************************************************

Man Wanders Off Drunk, Joins Search Party For Himself

Requests to be placed at the head of the search party because he might know the guy. ["His name sounds familiar."]

****************************************************

Actor William Shatner, 90, to boldly go to space on a Blue Origin spacecraft

Claims he needs to go because he's certain a Vulcan ship will be passing by then and that's how he's destined to make First Contact; unless the Nexus gets him first, of course. [Blue Origin still plans to take him.]

****************************************************

With The Biden Agenda Imperiled, It’s Time For Democrats To Break With Foolish Traditions -- Senate rules are not enshrined in the Constitution. Changing them requires a simple majority vote.

If the Democrats choose to not change them, then they and only they are to blame. To blame Republicans for a stop which the Democrats can lift at will any time they wish to is as absurd as parents saying that they'd discipline their kid if only their kid would let them.

****************************************************

Biden’s polling numbers are even worse than they appear

How can they not be when he's sitting there like some kind of 19th Century President in the middle of 21st Century terror, death, chaos & destruction!

****************************************************

The GOP’s assault on voting continues unabated. Where are Senate Democrats?

They all have safe Democratic seats. So the rest of he country can just go to Hell with the Republicans. Ha!

Opinion: The GOP has become the stupid party — and proud of it

****************************************************

Carolyn Hax: He skipped the ring, so fiancee wears her own — to his chagrin -- They just got engaged and her fiance didn’t want to spend money on a ring. He is insulted now that she is wearing her family heirloom ring instead.

You didn't tell them that theirs is destined to be a happy marriage, did you? You might get sued, you know.

****************************************************

Melania Trump Scorches Tell-All Author Stephanie Grisham As ‘Troubled And Deceitful’

Duh! How do you think she wound up working for the Trumps?

Trump Faces Deadline For Questioning In Defamation Suit

Voting technology firm Smartmatic sues Newsmax and One America News, alleging defamation

****************************************************

2,700-Year-Old Toilet Found In Jerusalem Was A Rare Luxury

People without that kind of cash (or toilet paper) would have to just content themselves with doing the Frog outside the house a while.

****************************************************

Pence says media focus on Jan. 6 insurrection is to ‘demean’ Trump supporters

Give it up, guy: The people whose ass you're trying to kiss will kick your ass if they can get their hands on you. Be start for once and switch from the criminals to the law-abiding.

****************************************************

Trump Demands Pulitzer Prizes For Russian Election Interference Reporting Be Revoked

Sez he has sole authority to say who gets a Pulitzer Prize, when, and for what (usually some published crap flattering him). Claims this might not be in the Constitution (yet), but will be once he assumes power again. [He plans to rewrite the Constitution all by his super-brainy self, with a Sharpie.]

****************************************************

ESPN’s Sage Steele calls Obama’s choice to identify as Black ‘fascinating’: ‘His Black dad was nowhere to be found’

In Obama's defense: Americans judge [identify] themselves by the color of their skin, not by the content of their character. [Dr. Martin Luther King's 'dream' in still far, far away in the pipe.]

****************************************************

My doctor told me to get a dog, but I couldn’t. Meet my emotional support fish.

Dog, fish? Hello! Meet my emotional support wad of cash. [Oh! Yours is an emotional support hold-up gun?]

****************************************************

While his country struggles, Jordan’s King Abdullah secretly splurges

Hey, what's the use being an autocrat if you can't take the food out of the mouths of millions of hungry babies to buy yourself a few palaces? Trump knows this, why shouldn't Abdullah as well? [What did you think all those GOP/Trump's tax cuts were about?]

****************************************************

NASA will shoot rocket at asteroid to test ‘planetary defense’ strategy

Cross your fingers & hope this isn't the opening scene of an upcoming horror movie.

****************************************************

Trump hasn’t been a good businessman for years. His fall from the Forbes rich list just confirms it.

Didn't he scam Forbes to get on it in the first place?

Trump lied to me about his wealth to get onto the Forbes 400. Here are the tapes.

****************************************************

For decades, Trump fought to climb the Forbes rich list. Now he’s off it.

Lucky Forbes list! Can't wait for the rest of us to see that son-of-a-bitch arch-traitor finally carted off for good.

****************************************************

Workers on strike at Kellogg’s cereal plants in U.S.

This might be a scam to make us stock-up on Corn Flakes. [This joke is Fake News, flakers: Relax!]

****************************************************

Yellowstone visitor burned while trying to rescue her dog from a hot spring

Hope the dog appreciated it. A thank-you card might be nice.

****************************************************

First Vatican sexual abuse trial absolves a former altar boy who served the pope

"It's who you know."

****************************************************

More than a dozen prominent Trump allies to host fundraiser for Ohio congressional candidate facing domestic violence allegations

Sure. Why not! The GOP is now engaging across the nation in a war against women. So nothing is off the table.

What Texas’s abortion law has in common with the Fugitive Slave Act

****************************************************

Supreme Court considers whether information widely known can be ‘state secret’

Happens all the time... in dictatorships, and here in Republican government: Remember!

****************************************************

A neighbor is blaring racist slurs and monkey sounds at a Black family’s home. Why isn’t it a hate crime?

Because law-enforcement 'there' is 'white' ...? ["Why can't you black people just learn to live with it!"]

****************************************************

Glenn Youngkin reminds Virginians: The GOP is out to delegitimize elections

That should read: "Glenn Youngkin is a reminder to Virginians that the GOP is out to delegitimize elections." [Glenn Youngkin is a Republican.]

****************************************************

Missouri Executes Intellectually Disabled Man Despite Objections From Pope, Lawmakers

Pope now claims he did it. Lawmakers want Pope extradited.

****************************************************

GOP Politician Who Linked COVID Vaccines To Satan Resigns From Committee

Committee members said that after all Satan has done for the GOP they simply had no choice but to force him to resign.

****************************************************

Why Andy Warhol Peed on This Portrait of Jean-Michel Basquiat

Because he ran out of empty soup cans?

****************************************************

Wonking Out: Biden Should Ignore the Debt Limit and Mint a $1 Trillion Coin

Then he could turn that little coin into real cash by checking into a Trump property for a night stay. Trump would be so pleased to see Biden there that he's only charge him $10 for the night. And Biden would be so graceful for Trump only charging him $10 that he'd pay for the stay with the Trillion Dollar Coin and tell Trump to keep the change. Presto! Now the coin really is worth a trillion dollars hard cash. And with that cash Trump would then buy The District of Columbia. Trump would then turn around and generously sell D.C. back to the government for just $10 (with the provision that D.C. must be admitted back to the U.S. as a state). I can't imagine anybody more trustworthy than Donald Trump to carry out his delicate financial scheme.

Wonking Out: Biden Should Ignore the Debt Limit and Mint a $1 Trillion Coin

All this nonsense about the public debt is clearly unconstitutional:

The Fourteenth Amendment says in Section 4: "The validity of the public debt of the United States, authorized by law, including debts incurred for payment of pensions and bounties for services in suppressing insurrection or rebellion, shall not be questioned."

In other words, it is unconstitutional for the United States to default on its debt.

This explicitly states that the public debt (the debt authorized [created] by laws the Congress passes) shall not be questioned (i.e. after a law is passed by Congress which incurs the debt you may not pass any law setting it higher/lower nor here-and-there nor even so much as defining exactly how much that debt is (because, reasonably & most logically, that is a function of the original law which incurs the debt). Period. In other words: it is unconstitutional for the United States to default on its debt.

Congress may pass laws which might incur debt, but it shall make no laws [after that] about that public debt [i.e. whether it should pay that debt or not]. Period. Read it as many times as you'd like but it all boils down to the same logic: If Congress passes a law which requires borrowing money to pay for it, it has by definition authorized borrowing enough money to pay for it. Again:

Debt limit options narrowing, 14th Amendment chatter returns

Neil H. Buchanan, a University of Florida law professor, said in an interview that under the 14th Amendment the government “can’t do anything that undermines confidence in the validity of the public debt,” such as missing required payments. So pay up!

The trillion-dollar coin: Is it a solution to the debt ceiling drama — or a gimmick? -- A major concern for economists is hyperinflation. Minting the $1 trillion coin would be like creating money out of thin air. When all that new money poofs into existence, the other currency in circulation becomes less valuable. That could hurt consumers, who are already dealing with price inflation.

The solution to this is to mint a $1 Gazillion Dollars Coin instead (which would either make all the other money in circulation completely worthless OR have the effect of making those who would suggest such a crazy thing have to just shrug their shoulders & go on to other things). But the practical effect would be that it would make the debt ceiling moot in perpetuity.

The debt ceiling is an absurd problem. Only an absurd solution can save us.

Here's another well-rounded reasoning: It is not reasonable that the party in the majority has the power to vote to spend beyond the debt limit... and the party in the minority has the power to say they may not spend beyond the debt limit! This is so absurd that you would think that one might always wish to be in the minority then, as it always requires less effort to come in last.

House Democrats Consider Killing The Debt Limit Congress could make debt ceiling standoffs a thing of the past.

****************************************************

Opinion: Mitch McConnell is making a terrific case for reforming the Senate -- Sen. Roy Blunt (R-Mo.), a member of the GOP leadership, tells the New York Times that "40 or 45" Republicans would allow a clean vote on a debt ceiling suspension, provided they wouldn’t have to cast their ballots in public. Such a profile in courage.

If so many Republicans are so cowardly afraid of losing [merely their day jobs, for God's Sakes] I don't suppose it's imaginable that were the nation to be under attack any of them can possibly be expected to have the courage to put their lives on the line to fight for her. Yes, Republican base, hold these people up as examples to your children.

Trump and his allies target McConnell over deal to avoid default

Yeah! Doesn't McConnell know by now that what Trump wants is destruction for & death to America?! [What a dumb bunny! I mean, it's not as if Trump hasn't been saying this like about a zillion times!]

****************************************************

Is Your Child an Orchid, a Tulip or a Dandelion?

Don't know. But he stomps on all three of them a lot.

****************************************************

Trump Goes Full Racist On Fox, Says Many Haitian Migrants ‘Probably Have AIDS’

Gee, I don't know, but I don't think Donald Trump is going to get much Nobel Peace Prize consideration if he keeps saying things like that!

****************************************************

What’s behind escalating China-Taiwan tensions?

Answer: China has spent billions on shiny new armaments and it doesn't want to have to think that it was all for nothing.

****************************************************

Prince Charles Says His Aston Martin Runs On Cheese And Wine

So what, my Rambler runs on a wing and a prayer.

****************************************************

Netflix CEO argues that Dave Chappelle’s new special, criticized as transphobic, is too popular to cancel

Maybe Netflix should be cancelled instead.

****************************************************

Hezbollah leader wants investigator in Beirut blast replaced

Sez he doesn't like the way the guy is finding out what really happened.

****************************************************

A Smart Smoke Alarm Alerts You Even When You’re Not Home

"Your house burned down, Harry. If you had been here you could have saved some stuff." [by Smartaleck Smoke Alarms.]

****************************************************

Former VP Pence delivers pro-Trump message at Israel gala in Texas

Said it's well worth getting hanged to hang around Trump. [And now you know Mike Pence's character.]

****************************************************

My son wants to make video games his career. I’m trying not to hate this.

I've been there. My son told me he wants to make masturbation his career; and I was like, "There's money in that?" I thought he might be thinking of making videos or something. Thank God he was only thirteen and soon lost interest in it.

****************************************************

How catching birds bare-handed may hint at Neandertals’ hunting tactics

Scientists say it isn't as easy as you imagine to surprise a bird before it can reach for his gun.

****************************************************

GOP Rep. Steve Scalise Still Refuses To Acknowledge 2020 Election Was Legitimate

In Steve Scalise's defense: He's extraordinarily naïve, and believes everything he hears.

****************************************************

Texas Governor Bans All Vaccine Mandates In The State

Sez he's not killing enough Texans fast enough.

****************************************************

George Clooney Brilliantly Breaks Down Why He Won’t Run For Office

Sez he's too gorgeous to waste his looks hidden away in the Oval Office somewhere.

****************************************************

Paul McCartney: John Lennon Responsible For Beatles’ Breakup

Sure, talk about him now that he can't defend himself!

****************************************************

Bosnian Man Builds Rotating House As Monument Of Love For His Wife

Claims she was a dizzy dame.

****************************************************

What do we do about Facebook?

Am I the only one who remembers how we were doing just fine before Facebook? You know, like about just a couple of years ago?

****************************************************

New 'Home Alone' Trailer: The Kid Faces Even Scarier Thieves — Spouses

In the final movie of the series (already in the works) the Kid (now 90) is left alone at the old folks' home [where he's been dumped] after a gas explosion kills everybody else: Let the fun commence!

****************************************************

Nearly 90 Tangled Rattlesnakes Removed From Beneath Woman’s House

Woman sez she kept having these crazy sensual nightmares. Now they've stopped.

****************************************************

Ban on vaccine mandates in Texas sharpens political battle lines

Anyone can see that the governor of Texas is a hick, a gas-pumping hick, and you're gonna pay any attention to any medical advice he gives--most especially of all when it goes against the advice of the nation's and the world's top medical professionals?!?

****************************************************

Trump Tried To Use This Law To Overturn His Loss, But Now Congress Could Change It -- A Republican lawmaker in Arizona even introduced a law--it was not adopted--to formally allow the state legislature to overrule the electorate and certify the election for a candidate of its choosing.

Always having the people make the choice is democracy. Any instance anywhere where the people are not the ones making the choice means democracy has ceased to exist there.

Is there anyone who doesn't understand this? Because it seems incredible to me that this truth should even have to be brought to anyone's attention.

****************************************************

Catholic troops should be able to reject vaccine if it violates their conscience, archbishop says

Sure. The pious ought to be exempted from not being allowed to kill others. I believe it's in the Bible.

****************************************************

Trump Jabs At Kanye’s Mental Health In Interview -- Former President Donald Trump called Kanye West's tendencies "loony."

As my cat often sez: "Goodness Meow!"

Ever notice how Trump always likes to insult others with exactly the frailties he knows he himself suffers from.

****************************************************

3 takeaways from the Senate report on Trump’s brazen efforts to overturn the 2020 election

Trump admitted to DOJ top officials that he wanted them to participate in his coup against the American People:

START QUOTE

According to Rosen, Trump opened the [Jan. 3] meeting by saying, “One thing we know is you, Rosen, aren’t going to do anything to overturn the election.” A transcript of his testimony shows Rosen twice described Trump using that phrase. “One thing we know is [with] Jeff Rosen leading the Justice Department, nothing is going to get done in trying to overturn the election,” Rosen cited Trump as saying. When asked to re-state it, he offered the quote above.

END QUOTE

Opinion: As a stunning new report reveals Trump’s threat to democracy, Republicans shrug

START QUOTE

It all came to a head at an extraordinary White House meeting on Jan. 3, with all the major players in attendance. “One thing we know is you, Rosen, aren’t going to do anything to overturn the election,” Trump said, according to Rosen’s testimony. The question being discussed was whether Trump would fire Rosen and replace him with Clark, who would then begin pressuring state legislatures to overturn their election results.

Here’s Donoghue’s testimony:

I reminded [Clark] that I was his boss, that he was apparently continuing to violate the White House contact policy, that that letter was never going out while we were in charge of the Department. And I sort of orally reprimanded him on a number of points, including reaching out to witnesses, and [said] “Who told you to conduct investigations and interview witnesses,” and things like that. I was getting very heated. And then he turned to Acting AG Rosen, and he said, “Well, the President has offered me the position of Acting Attorney General. I told him I would let him know my decision on Monday. I need to think about that a little bit more.”

Here’s what happened next:

At some point during the meeting, Donoghue... made clear that all of the Assistant Attorneys General would resign if Trump replaced Rosen with Clark. Donoghue added that the mass resignations likely would not end there, and that U.S. Attorneys and other DOJ officials might also resign en masse. Not only that, White House counsel Pat Cipollone and his deputy said that they, too, would resign. Cipollone called Clark’s letter to legislatures a “murder-suicide pact.” Trump backed down.

So how do you defend Trump in the face of that? The Senate Judiciary Committee’s Republican minority under the direction of Sen. Charles E. Grassley (R-Iowa) released a response so laughably indulgent of Trump’s actions that it amounts to, “Mr. Dillinger was merely trying to make a withdrawal from the bank, what is everyone getting so worked up about?”

END QUOTE

SEE:

The amazingly bad voter-fraud theories behind Trump’s DOJ scheme

START QUOTE

One thing to keep in mind in all of this is that these weren’t just theories the White House and its allies were floating for public consumption; these were the things they used to try to convince seasoned, smart lawyers at the Justice Department that their claims had merit — merit enough to get the Justice Department to call the election results into question. The theories were bad enough that Donoghue and Rosen privately derided them in their then-private correspondence:

When then-acting attorney general Jeffrey A. Rosen shared the email from Meadows with Donoghue, Donoghue responded, “Pure insanity.”

About an hour later, Meadows shared previously debunked claims about “signature matching anomalies in Fulton county, Ga.”

“Can you believe this?” Rosen wrote to Donoghue. “I am not going to respond to the message below.”

Donoghue responded: “At least it’s better than the last one, but that doesn’t say much.”

END QUOTE

Intriguing to me is whether Trump and his co-conspirators believed that people at the DOJ were really that stupid or they were convinced that people at the DOJ were as crooked as they themselves. That's a question I'd really wish the Jan.6 House Committee would try to find an answer to.

But more important still is that after Donald Trump self-evidently admitted to top DOJ officials that he wanted them to participate in a coup against the American People (the voters), those officials didn't immediately report this to the House of Representatives (so they could vote out a 3rd impeachment of this dangerous arch-traitor and then pursue sedition charges against him and all of his co-conspirators). And that is also something I would like the Jan.6 House Committee to find an answer to because we need to have in place laws & rules which will immediately trigger law enforcement to pursue these charges without the least moment's hesitation the next time something like this is encountered.

Opinion: Advice to Trump critics and democracy lovers in the GOP: Leave the party

****************************************************

‘The coup didn’t work’ is not a reassuring argument

It is truly an amazing thing that Donald Trump can so cavalierly try to bring down the government (which so many Americans have bled & died to keep alive for nearly two & a half centuries) in an unquestioned coup and he is still walking around a free man instead of hanging by the neck from a hangman's noose in the public square for the most egregious act of treason ever by any American at any time anywhere. It really speaks of the folly of the near-sighted men & women who hold the power to avert a worse future catastrophe--and really think nothing of it! The deference which they are showing to Trump's Republican co-conspirators is mind-boggling.

New Report Details Trump's Dramatic Efforts To Undercut 2020 Election In Waning Days

Senate report gives new details of Trump efforts to use Justice Dept. to overturn election

Trump and Justice Dept. Lawyer Said to Have Plotted to Oust Acting Attorney General

Opinion: Lawyers at last look ready to step up and defend the rule of law -- "...complaints should be made to every state bar against lawyers who filed frivolous lawsuits disputing the 2020 election--Among the Republican members of Congress who signed on to a joke of a Supreme Court brief seeking to throw out the votes of millions of Americans were scores of lawyers."

There is a moment in history when one man can squash even the end of the world itself under the pressure only of his thumb. But even this little requires immense wisdom and will.

Judge orders two lawyers who filed suit challenging 2020 election to pay hefty fees: ‘They need to take responsibility’

Jan. 6 Was Worse Than We Knew

The Justice Department doesn't have enough evidence to charge Trump with sedition?!? ... The smallest professional newspaper in the country has published more evidence of Trump's sedition than is needed to put the noose around his filthy neck ten times over.

The Once and Future Threat of Trump

Donald Trump Justifies Capitol Riot, Says Election Was The ‘Real Insurrection’

Opinion: The revelations about Mike Pence’s role in Jan. 6 keep getting worse

Trump Aides Who Want To Help Him Cover Up Jan. 6 Could Face Prison Time

Opinion: Without these changes, U.S. democracy will remain vulnerable to Trump and other bad actors

Tucker Carlson Rages At Lindsey Graham For Telling Officers To Use Guns On Jan. 6

Michael Cohen On CNN Hours After Release: 'I Will Not Be The Only One'

****************************************************

Opinion: Why would West Virginia and Arizona senators balk at a bill that helps their states so much?

That is the 64 Cent Question indeed. One would think voters elect officials to Congress to represent their interests, not somebody else's interests. But both Manchin and Sinema seem to be representing the interests of the rich and powerful instead of the interests of the ordinary voters in their states who sent them to Congress.

Bestselling Author Calls Out 'Senator For Sale' Joe Manchin In Damning Video

As Manchin Blocks Climate Plan, His State Can’t Hold Back Floods

Sinema Advisers Quit With Scorched-Earth Letter Accusing Her Of Serving ‘Big Donors’

****************************************************

Texas school official tells teachers that Holocaust books should be countered with ‘opposing’ views

Sez the Nazis had some very nice points to make about butchering Jews (as well as voting for the GOP).

****************************************************

Trump cronies who defy subpoenas may be prosecuted. Here’s why that matters.

Because people who break the law should always be prosecuted? Could somebody please tell that to Donald Trump? And to all the people who should have prosecuted Donald Trump by now. Thank you.

Trump May Get Away With Obstruction Of Congress. Again. -- “There is no legal authority establishing Trump’s right to direct his former advisers not to comply with the committee’s subpoenas. But neither is there legal authority definitely establishing that he lacks such a right,” said Jonathan Shaub, a law professor at the University of Kentucky.

In spite of the double negatives in the above sentence, Shaub is incorrect: Only if there is a specific law establishing that Donald Trump has a right to direct his former advisers not to comply with the committee’s subpoenas does he have that right. There is no such law, so he doesn't have that right--As a law has already been established prohibiting anyone other than the sitting president to exercise such a right.

There should never have to be a law allowing something--as if all things were prohibited unless there is a law allowing it. [There should be a presumption that if there is no law prohibiting something then the law allows it--but there is already here a law prohibiting everyone except the sitting president from claiming executive privilege.] Laws ought strictly to be written only to prohibit something (as in the presidential law above), so when there is no law prohibiting something... that something is permitted. The notion that there must be a law to permit something means that we must have a staggering number of laws for every last little thing in the universe because everything in the universe is prohibited unless specifically allowed by a law!

Jan. 6 committee preparing to aggressively enforce subpoenas, targets former Trump DOJ official -- Bannon was not part of the administration on Jan. 6. He left his job as a top White House adviser to Trump in 2017. Several legal experts questioned whether executive privilege could shield Bannon from responding to requests for information about what happened during a period when he was not a White House employee.

Just in case: A serial killer from Somewhere U.S.A. send a request for Trump to invoke executive privilege in his case so he could squash all the evidence the cops had on him. Sez that, like Bannon, he too had not been working at the White House when Trump was cheating & robbing people from there.

Trump sues to block records requested by Jan. 6 committee

Jan. 6 committee lays out legal arguments against Bannon’s subpoena defiance in private letter to his attorney

Trump is right: Former presidents can assert executive privilege

Former presidents can assert they have a pain in the ass if they wish, but the sitting president is always in the best position to judge whether any such assertion(s) are in the best interest of the government of the United States at the present moment.

Former Congress members file brief opposing Trump’s attempt to shield Jan. 6 records

****************************************************

TEXAS GOP SET TO REDRAW THE MAP

"We will not allow the Democrats to run in any fair election again EVER!" Said the GOP Lordmasters of Texas.

Texas Republicans Set To Pass New Congressional Maps

Conservative Pundit Torches ‘Absolutely Bats**t Crazy’ Republicans In Texas

****************************************************

'Just Looking Out!': Capitol Cop Who Warned Rioter To Scrub Facebook Charged By Feds

This inconsequential nonentity has been charged by federal authorities with two counts of obstruction for telling a rioter to scrub his online profile. And yet every day of the week Trump is out there whipping up crowds all over the country with calls for the overthrow of the dully elected government of the United States as free as if he were an honest man! Somebody should drop a dime on Merrick Garland, somebody should try to wake up Joe Biden. Before it's too late--if it isn't already.

****************************************************

Hundreds of people strip naked by the Dead Sea

Say they are trying to scare it back to life.

****************************************************

How a lie becomes respectable, step by cowardly step

It's repeated by 'respectable politicians.' [However, please know that another definition for 'respectable politician' is: "A politician whose lies usually go unchallenged."]

****************************************************

Biden hopes that if he does well then the voters will reward him. Meanwhile the Republicans know that "hope is vain" and that the best scheme to get what they want is to just make sure that not enough Democratic votes are cast:

Advocates worry Biden is letting U.S. democracy erode on his watch -- According to the Brennan Center’s most recent voting laws roundup, as of the end of September, more than 425 bills with provisions that restrict voting access had been introduced in 49 states. And 19 states had already enacted 33 laws making it harder for Americans to vote.

****************************************************

Advocates worry Biden is letting U.S. democracy erode on his watch -- Biden also makes another argument, one that particularly exasperates activists: The best way to strengthen democracy, he contends, is to show that it works, by passing the infrastructure and other bills.

Sez his Momma always told him that the best revenge is living well (not calling the cops, suing people, or fighting back).

****************************************************

D.C.’s Woodrow Wilson High School will be renamed. But for whom?

The German Kaiser! [Kaiser Wilhelm II High School.]

****************************************************

Here’s what Ted Cruz wants in return for unblocking Biden’s nominations

Another all-expenses-paid trip to Cancun?

****************************************************

Rep. Jim Jordan tells House panel he can’t recall how many times he spoke with Trump on Jan. 6

Sez he was distracted by looking for his car keys at the time--Couldn't remember whether they were in his front or his back pocket.

GOP Rep Explains Why Republicans ‘Go Limp’ On Donald Trump

****************************************************

Russia’s Navalny awarded prestigious human rights Sakharov Prize

I think even Putin gotta admit this guy really has put everything on the line for his country.

Who would have believed that even as we watch a Russian so willing to lay his life down for his country, we would see so few Republicans here who would even be willing to risk their cushy day jobs for the sake of saving democracy in this great nation!

****************************************************

Fed Bans Policymakers From Investing In Individual Stocks, Bonds

You would think this would have been the law of the land since the land first emerged from the seas!

Members of Congress & the president should also not just be prohibited from using insider information to speculate on securities but should be prohibited from owning them outright because they are ultimately the ones who really make & enforce policy, after all!

Sen. Burr’s Brother-in-Law Called Stock Broker One Minute After Call With Senator

****************************************************

Trump Gets Taken To School After Botching Basic U.S. History In Latest Rant

As usual, Trump doubled down on his ignorance and is now claiming that everybody's wrong and he's the one who's right because he recently saw (with his own eyes) on the internet an actual photograph of Thomas Jefferson writing the Constitution. [Sez Jefferson was clearly using an Underwood typewriter.]

****************************************************

Trump kind of admits he might have cost Republicans the Senate

But sez he has great hopes that Manchin & Sinema will get it all back for the Republicans. [Sez it was all really his stable genius Grand Strategy, and that it's coming off like a charm!]

Veterans on Sen. Sinema’s advisory council quit, accusing her of being ‘one of the principal obstacles to progress’ -- In a letter, the five veterans said the Arizona Democrat is “answering to donors” rather than her constituents.

****************************************************

The Americans who see democracy most at risk? Republicans. -- ...false assertions about fraud have created political space for proposals to “fix” the problem, either by clamping down on voting access (out of the unfounded belief that more access leads to fraud) or by empowering officials to reject election results they find suspicious.

I think we can all agree that most Republicans will, as they have in the past, find 'suspicious' any upcoming election they lose. This is why they are setting us up (passing ill-intended laws to make this nightmare possible)... to make it possible for a handful of crooked politicians to overturn the expressed will of the electorate in order to grab all power for themselves. The only remedy to this naked theft of an election from the American people remains making sure that there are no 'legal means' by which such a handful of bad actors can possibly ever use the law to steal an election: Laws which could possibly ever be used by a handful of criminals bent on snatching power from the hands of the people should be hunted down like the monstrous danger they are to us all and mercilessly blotted out from the book.

I Was Wrong About Donald Trump

****************************************************

New York Prosecutor Opens Criminal Inquiry Into Trump Golf Course: Reports -- The two offices are seeking to determine whether people at the Trump Organization knowingly engaged in tax fraud.

In an unrelated investigation they are also trying to determine whether rats give birth to baby rats or to rhinos and elephants.

Sirs, everything the Al Capone Gang and the Trump family, associates & businesses are doing & have ever done HAS to be most assuredly illegal by definition: You don't really have to look into it that much to determine that crooks is crooks is crooks...

****************************************************

Scientists Discover 14 Genes That Cause Obesity

Apparently each of them codes for a specific brand of candy bar.

****************************************************

Opinion: The media are finally waking up to the ‘rolling coup.’ They must take the side of democracy.

There are not 10 Republicans in the Senate who would place the well-being of the nation above petty partisan gains for the GOP. And there is not a single Republican in the Senate who would even so much as contemplate it seriously. Not one.

House Committee Subpoenas Trump Justice Department Ally Jeffrey Clark

How close were we to an actual stolen election — stolen by Trump?

Opinion: The Trump nightmare looms again

Opinion: One more time Trump tried to undo the will of the voters

The hollowness of the ‘but it didn’t work’ defense of Trump’s attempt to retain power

Fiona Hill Calls Capitol Riot A ‘Dress Rehearsal’ For Further Violence

The architect of Trump’s plot to steal the 2020 election explains himself — absurdly

Tyranny Expert Sounds The Alarm On 2024 Election: It’s Happening

****************************************************

Saudi crown prince once boasted it would be easy to kill a sitting monarch, ex-intel official says

Now he's claiming that it would be much harder to kill a running one.

****************************************************

The stabbing of a British MP is another example of how violence eats away at democracy

It's also an example of how Islam eats away at some people's humanity. But we won't go into that, as that truth is not popular at the moment, apparently.

****************************************************

Condoleezza Rice Says Capitol Riot 'Was Wrong' But We Need To 'Move On'

Sez she wants to keep "moving on up" in the Trump Cult. Maybe get a great big apartment in the skies on Trump Towers!

****************************************************

Texas GOP Lt. Gov. Patrick offered $25,000 for election-fraud tips. The first payout was for a Republican’s illegal vote.

Should this really surprise anyone?

****************************************************

Biden said he’s been to the southern border before. It was a drive-by.

Some witnesses swear he used an Uzi.

****************************************************

Why Biden, a Senate success, is a White House mess -- Opinion by Henry Olsen

Because you're a GOP hack?

****************************************************

Court Rules Pablo Escobar’s Cocaine Hippos Are Legally People

That certainly seems just, as a lot of the people that live around here are really animals.

****************************************************

Dr. Phil pressured a teen to go to troubled-youth ranch where she was sexually assaulted, lawsuit alleges

Not that I'm a fan of Dr. Phil or anything, but: My parents advised me to only cross the street when the street light said to and I was hit by a truck doing that: Do I have a case against them too?

****************************************************

What you need to know before buying a flipped home

1) how long you can stand on your head

****************************************************

The Rotten Core of the Republican Party -- Former President Donald Trump’s loud and proud declaration that paying very little in taxes “makes me smart” was just a more brazen articulation of what has become party orthodoxy.

The strawman argument that letting the wealthy keep a much higher percentage of the taxes they owe than the percentage of the taxes W2 workers keep of the taxes they owe can be easily knocked down by asking a simple question:

Would you really prefer that the tax owed by all the citizens wealthy & poor be given to the wealthy to stuff their pockets with or that it be used for the benefit & needs of all the people?

The Republicans would prefer that unpaid taxes owed by the wealthy be made up by the W2 working people because they argue that if it were justly & fairly collected from everyone wealthy or poor [that much more enormous haul than the one collected now] would be spent on nonsense needs like people's health and welfare--Essentially that ordinary people would be better off if that general national wealth were to continue to be given to Donald Trump and his pals so they can compete against each other on which one of them is hoarding the most cash.

I for one do not agree with this argument; in fact, I think it is suicidal & insane: Every possible avenue of unearthing just exactly how fairly or unfairly the IRS is collecting taxes from everyone is reasonable, just, and necessary: Every other alternative to this perpetuates tax cheating, which is really nothing more & nothing less than cheating your fellow citizens.

****************************************************

To police officers who refuse to be vaccinated, we say: Good riddance.

If they can find another city that doesn't mind its cops spreading a deadly virus: More power to them. But at the least they won't be killing the citizens of the city they're leaving. In fact, by leaving, they will be saving lives there--And, that (saving lives) is the essence of good policing, so they should really be commended for leaving. Maybe get a medal even to speed them on their way.

As some police fight vaccine rules, DeSantis says Florida will pay them $5,000 to relocate: ‘We’ll treat you better’

This isn't that bad of an idea: Cops who don't mind infecting and killing others with Covid-19 move to Florida while Florida cops who are decent & conscientious move from there to states where they won't be forced to infect others with such a deadly virus. Perhaps then the poor citizens of Florida may finally grasp that electing political leaders who are Hell-bent on trying to kill them in such gruesome manner might not be such a good idea after all.

Opinion: The scandal involving Ron DeSantis and the silenced professors just got worse

Ex-GOP Lawmaker Warns: Ron DeSantis ‘Far More Dangerous’ Than Donald Trump

****************************************************

Miami private school scraps policy to send home vaccinated students after its funding is threatened

"send home vaccinated students" ?!? They only wanted students there who could become sick & die of Covid?!? Maybe living in Florida unhinges people mentally.

****************************************************

After pollution and deforestation drove them away, otters return to Singapore in full force

Getting off the plane one said to the otter, "My, how this place has changed! Don't you think?"

****************************************************

Why you should teach your kids about different religions

Because you can never make kids superstitious enough? [No, wait: Because that way your kid will learn that people will believe any-and-all kinds of really crazy nonsense.]

****************************************************

Astronomers using NASA telescope find signs of a planet beyond our galaxy

Say that it shouldn't take any longer getting there than it took us to come down from the trees and walk out of Africa into Queens (travelling at the speed of light, of course).

****************************************************

Lost hiker in Colorado ignored rescuers’ calls because they came from an unknown number

Isn't there an ancient joke about two Englishmen who lived all their lives in a desert island without talking to each other because they hadn't been properly introduced? [Shows you that truth is just as strange as fiction.]

****************************************************

Opinion: The GOP’s attack on voting is shameless. The Democratic response is spineless.

The Republicans are the party of "Get Outta My Way, Stupid!"
The Democrats used to be the party of "Please and Thank You."
Now they are the party just only of "Pretty Please."

Opinion: Republicans are losing the support of the business community. Democrats should take advantage.

****************************************************

Men shot by Kyle Rittenhouse can be called ‘rioters’ and ‘looters’ but not ‘victims,’ judge rules

Sez they may not be called names which imply they were shot by Rittenhouse because of reasons strictly of his own but that they can be called names which imply he was perfectly justified in shooting them! So I don't quite understand what the purpose of continuing this trial may be: Self-evidently this judge has already adjudicated Rittenhouse innocent--otherwise he would order the men shot by Rittenhouse to be referred to just by the much more fair & impartial, "the men who were shot by Mister Rittenhouse."

****************************************************

Is Donald Trump sabotaging the Republican Party? - opinion -- Trump is the genius who seemed surprised to learn two months into his presidency that Abraham Lincoln was a Republican. As though he’d just made this startling discovery, he told a fundraising dinner for House Republicans, “Most people don’t even know [Lincoln] was a Republican. Right? Does anyone know? A lot of people don’t know that.” He was probably the only one in the room who didn’t.

Ah, well. It is inevitable that the person with the least knowledge must always think that he has all the knowledge in the world. And thereby the closer you are to Trump the more you are bound to have suffered by him, because someone like that can but imagine only that all the knowledge he has is all the knowledge there is or that can possibly be in the world! However, if it is bad for everyone around him who is not allowed to enlighten him otherwise, much worse is it for anyone who could [enlighten him] and will not--since the closer you are to Trump the more you are bound to suffer by him.

Republican 'Cowards' Are Empowering The Party's Fringe, Rages Paul Krugman

How Trump and the Republicans let a government agency leave Americans in danger

****************************************************

Will Ferrell Reveals Why ‘Elf 2’ Never Happened Despite $29 Million Offer

Claims he could no longer find room to stash away those $29 million dollars. Sez he would have had to throw out a lot of his jewelry & gold bars, and might have even had to park his new Bentley out in the street, for God's Sakes!

****************************************************

Turkey's Erdogan: Biden will do 'his best' for F-16 sale

Sez Biden told him he is a fellow who can always be trusted 100 percent by the West. The best possible friend of the Western democratic tradition out there.

****************************************************

Ask Vanessa: Where Can I Buy a Great Cocktail Dress?

For you, sir, or for your wife?

****************************************************

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene racks up at least $15,500 in fines for violating House mask rules

That's how those who end up as serious criminals begin in life: First they rack up fines, petty jail time & probation, until finally they end up chopping people's heads off all over the country. Watch out for this woman!

****************************************************

Sen. Josh Hawley says liberals’ attacks on manhood are driving men to pornography and video games

Sez he hasn't spent so much of his cash on porn and video games in his life since back when his parents finally stopped paying for them & kicked him out of their house.

****************************************************

Nearly 4 in 10 who say election was stolen from Trump say violence might be needed to save America

Fear not, America: We defeated secessionists and seditionists once, and we can defeat them again if it is necessary.

****************************************************

Asteroid skimmed past Earth and no one saw it coming

Luckily a very tall NBA player was walking by and it bounced off his head out into space again, so nobody got hurt.

****************************************************

During Jan. 6 riot, Trump attorney told Pence team the vice president’s actions caused attack on Capitol

Eastman is about as central a figure as is Trump in the culpability for the Jan.6 anti-democracy insurrection. So much so that it's becoming increasingly difficult to distinguish whether it was Trump pushing Eastman to sedition or Eastman pushing Trump. But either way they must both be made to answer to the law.

What did John Eastman really want to have happen? -- This has been called the “coup memo,” an apt description of a document that breezily encourages the theft of the presidency. Since it was first reported by The Washington Post’s Robert Costa and Bob Woodward in the book “Peril,” Eastman and his allies have been trying to reframe the document, first by insisting that it was supplanted by a later, more nuanced memo and then with other claims by Eastman about his intent and beliefs. (There’s good reason for Eastman to want the document to be interpreted differently, given a complaint made to the California bar.) But the memo is what it is, and the nuance Eastman later tried to introduce was both unmentioned in his public discussions at the time as well as blatantly ignored by Trump.

Georgia Secretary Of State Didn't Know Trump's Order To 'Find' Votes Was Being Recorded -- The recording released to the press became one of most damaging to Trump and his baseless claims of a rigged election. Rather than pushing Raffensperger to seek evidence of possible wrongdoing, Trump directed him to “find” enough votes to transform his defeat into a victory.

****************************************************

Garland is right to be wary of political prosecutions. But he needs to investigate Trump.

If Garland doesn't realize that Trump is a dangerous common criminal whose perverse evil has nothing to do with politics & everything to do with felony grand theft this country is in a lot bigger trouble than I ever imagined!

How Trump’s 187 minutes of inaction led to Jan. 6 bloodshed

Threats and disinformation mount following Capitol siege

I know that today people look back at the Salem Witch Trials and wonder how on earth could thinking human beings possibly believe the nonsense that was being used to find the women unfortunate enough to get caught up by the hysteria guilty of being witches (!). But, frankly, the craziness of the Salem Witch Trials were chicken shit compared to the bewildering insanity that Trump and his Republicans have unleashed across this country today, because the sheer unbelievable nonsense that Trump and his loonies are floating now makes the 'evidence' brought against the Salem 'witches' then seem almost reasonable & sane by comparison.

There is no more a point to arguing against any of Trump's & his followers' claims of election fraud than there would be of walking into an insane asylum and trying to reason with the inmates on the facts of reality, as no real facts are at play here or there: As with the Salem Witch Trials we must wait patiently for everybody afflicted with this most terrible 'disease of Trump' to recover all by themselves on their own. And pray that their sickness passes from the earth as quickly as is humanly possible.

Tyranny Expert Sounds The Alarm On 2024 Election: It’s Happening

Biden Denies Trump Request To Cover Up His Role In The Jan. 6 Insurrection. Again.

Jan. 6 Committee Chair Says Subpoenaing Trump Is Not 'Off Limits'

Coup Memo Lawyer Calls Himself A 'Hero' Who Talked Trump Back From The Ledge

GOP Rep. Paul Gosar Reportedly Promised 'Blanket Pardons' To 'Stop The Steal' Planners

The double self-own of Republicans seeking fraud testimony from a conspiracy theorist

Adam Schiff points to a second insurrection -- by members of Congress themselves

Trump Tried To Use This Law To Overturn His Loss, But Now Congress Could Change It

Former Justice Dept. Lawyer Jeffrey Clark Cuts Jan. 6 Deposition Short

Jan. 6 committee warns Trump DOJ official he must cooperate with investigation or it will move aggressively against him

New Round Of Subpoenas For Trump Allies In Election 'War Room' Reportedly On The Way

****************************************************

Ex-RNC Spokesperson Issues Chilling Trump Warning For 2024 Election

Se he recently visited Hell with Trump and it's starting to freeze over down there!

****************************************************

Covid study finds some 28 million extra years of life lost in 2020, with U.S. male life expectancy badly hit

Dammit! I was gonna use those extra 28 million years to try to out-live Trump!

****************************************************

Chris Christie Gives Trump And Republicans A Blunt Warning About 2024

Sez he's cannoballing into the pool. So, watch out!

****************************************************

Donald Trump Cashed In On Jan. 6 Riot Furor, Records Show

Whoever doesn't know that Trump only cares about how much cash he can make out'anything just doesn't know Donald Trump.

Trump Aimed To Start Own Party Until He Learned How Much It Would Cost: Book

****************************************************

Homeland Security official: Jan. 6 changed how we handle online intelligence

Now we know it's all stupid out there. Just plain stupid all over.

****************************************************

Joe Manchin suggests we’re a center-right country. Here’s what the data show.

Any way you cut it we're uncentered & wobbling out of control.

****************************************************

Georgia Secretary Of State Says Trump 'Had No Idea How Elections Work'

Sez Trump asked him whether he had to actually run in an election there in order to win it. "Couldn't you just find me the votes?" [Sez Trump told him that way he could pocket ALL the campaign contributions, not just most.] "Listen, I need to reverse-charge this call. That's all right with you, right?"

****************************************************

Trump May Be About To Learn That Being Ex-President Doesn’t Carry Much Weight In Court

You might be overestimating Trump's ability to learn anything.

****************************************************

Half of These Earwigs Use Their Right Penis. The Other Half Use Their Left Penis. Why?

Scientists speculate that it might just be a case of 'whatever's closest to the action'.

****************************************************

Ted Cruz slams Big Bird for promoting COVID-19 vaccines

Has anybody told Teddy yet that Big Bird is a puppet?

****************************************************

Ted Cruz Talks About Joe Rogan Being ‘President’ Of Texas If State Secedes From U.S.

Or: A dog looking for any old master he can find to pet him.

****************************************************

NRSC chair Rick Scott declines to say if Trump-backed Senate hopeful accused of choking wife is right candidate for the job

I don't know, it sounds to me like a very good Republican candidate indeed.

****************************************************

Joaquin Phoenix, Billie Eilish Join Call To Send Pardoned Turkeys To Sanctuary

Why can't these rich guys just get a free turkey at Publix like the rest of us!

****************************************************

China has the world's largest navy, third-largest air force - report

Well, it's good to know that they're wasting their wealth instead of using it doing anybody any good just like everybody else in this wonderful world of ours.

****************************************************

Popeyes closes store after TikTok video shows rats swarming kitchen: ‘You still love that chicken?’

Sure. And on the plus side some of their chicken sandwiches tasted nicely Cajun.

****************************************************

Things Joe Manchin Says

"I watched the movie Fargo three times and was never able to identify who the character Fargo was."

****************************************************

The G.O.P. Candidate for New Jersey Governor Hasn’t Conceded

The G.O.P. Candidate for president in 2020 hasn't conceded either. So what! Candidates conceding used to be a big thing before Trump. Now it's meaningless, all thanks to Trump.

****************************************************

Why are so many people so cruel to their dogs?

So? You know a lot of people who are cruel to their dogs who are awfuly darn nice to everybody else?

****************************************************

How many people will go to prison for Trump’s dishonest election claims?

Everybody except Trump, sez Merrick Garland.

House Jan. 6 committee issues subpoenas to 6 top Trump advisers, including pair involved in Willard hotel ‘command center’

****************************************************

An Instagram account promised to plant a tree for every pet picture. 4 million posts later, where are they?

Hey, we said "plant a tree" not "actually plant a tree!"

****************************************************

When did Dr. Aaron Rodgers, QB, acquire a PhD in epidemiology?

As is the practice today, he just wrote himself one. Trump sez he's been given three Nobel Prizes.

****************************************************

Israeli couple arrested in Turkey for photographing presidential palace

"I'm sorry," they told the cops. "We thought that was Buckingham Palace. Isn't this London?"

****************************************************

She let him drive her home, which is ‘much more intimate than a kiss’

Well, let's hope her home was a tiny RV and not one of those humongous Class A giant motorized mobile homes, otherwise she might have to be ready to kiss her ass goodbye.

****************************************************

Crying Pro-Trump Capitol Rioter Who Assaulted Cop Sentenced To 41 Months In Prison

Is that all!? If he'd been a black guy in some street somewhere he would have been given 20 years for attempted murder, 10 more for the weapon the used on the cop, 5 more for the things he said before he attacked the cop, 5 more for the things he said while attacking the cop, 5 more for what he said to the cop afterwards, 10 more for priors, plus 5 more for the time of day he attacked the cop. Wonder why this pro-Trump guy got off so easy!

****************************************************

Steve Bannon indicted after refusal to comply with Jan. 6 committee subpoena

For some, exile from Trumpworld is less appealing than prison

Sure: Omerta ["code of silence that places importance on silence in the face of questioning by authorities or outsiders; non-cooperation with authorities, the government, or outsiders, especially during criminal investigations; and willfully ignoring and generally avoiding interference with the illegal activities of others (i.e., not contacting law enforcement or the authorities when one is aware of, witness to, or even the victim of certain crimes)." --From Wikipedia]

Lot of criminal enterprises like Trump's (and, of course, the Mafia) develop a psychopathic (unhealthy) code of loyalty to its own mob. But, as history shows time & time again, persistent and unrelenting law enforcement pressure inevitably cracks the code and leads to everybody in the mob quickly spilling their guts to the proper authorities because their code is never a matter of the highest principle but always of the lowest form of greed.

****************************************************

Opinion: Distinguished person of the week: Trump is still not a king

Where others have IQ points Trump just has millions and millions of dollars which have rained down most undeservedly upon this very stupid man over his privileged lifetime, and which he has used to shape his destiny (and that of those around him) where other have the intelligence to do so! Guess how it's turned out.

****************************************************

Adele Says Her Son Had No Idea She Was ‘Adele’

Then he's not nearly as smart as The Lone Ranger's son. Although that trumpet did keep giving the game away for the Lone Ranger's son every time his dad went to work. ["Away!"]

****************************************************

Judge Dismisses Dangerous Weapon Charge Against Kyle Rittenhouse

Sez a rifle is no more dangerous than a popsicle.

****************************************************

Fourteenth Amendment, Section 3

"No Person shall be a Senator or Representative in Congress, or elector of President and Vice-President, or hold any office, civil or military, under the United States, or under any State, who, having previously taken an oath, as a member of Congress, or as an officer of the United States, or as a member of any State legislature, or as an executive or judicial officer of any State, to support the Constitution of the United States, shall have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same, or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof. But Congress may by a vote of two-thirds of each House, remove such disability."

Candidates who supported the Jan.6 sedition are barred by Section 3 of the Constitution 14th Amendment. And please note: "... or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof." This applies to anybody & everybody who not just participated in Jan.6 but who promoted or assisted it in any way, shape, or form.

Congressman Cohen Introduces Bill for Enforcing Fourteenth Amendment Section 3 Prohibiting Insurrectionists Serving in Office

GOP aims to take over the Senate in 2022 but struggles over candidates

He’s charged with assaulting police at the Capitol on Jan. 6. Now he’s running for office in Texas.

****************************************************

Michael Flynn Demands 'One Religion Under God' At Far Right Rally

And Trump has legions of Rupublicans who, like Flynn, will happily help him become dictator if we let him. Unfortunately, Joe Biden is standing there like Louis XIV, the guillotine at his throat, blithely chirping: "Don't worry, my wife will take care of it."

Michael Flynn Goes Full Tinfoil Hat With Bonkers New COVID-19 Theory

Opinion: Why do Democrats let Republicans set the terms of debate?

Memos Were 'Blueprint' For 'Authoritarian Coup' By Trump, Carl Bernstein Warns

If they're not careful, one day soon, "It can't be happening!" might become the Democrats' Motto.

****************************************************

Disposable phone numbers and privacy apps: How to use ‘burners’ to protect your personal information

Translation: "Or, how to keep the cops from catching up to you."

****************************************************

Man who raped four girls as a teen gets no jail time, judge says: ‘Incarceration isn’t appropriate’

Now man is pissed something terrible: "Hell," he cried out outside the courtroom: "If I'd known I was gonna get this judge, think of all the damn little girls I could have raped than just those four!"

****************************************************

Apple will start selling you the parts you need to fix your iPhone in early 2022

Sez it is expecting that most of its iPhones will have broken down by then.

****************************************************

A Trump candidacy in 2024 would threaten his own legacy

You mean his legacy of terror, avarice, malice, and things even worse?!

****************************************************

House GOP Lawmaker Takes Credit For Infrastructure Funding He Voted Against

And? Aren't Republicans proud to be the nation's greatest hypocrites these days?

****************************************************

Bannon’s contempt charge sparks debate over Jan. 6 panel strategy -- We don't yet know how many of the 35 people subpoenaed by the House are cooperating.

Stephen Bannon will plead not guilty to contempt of Congress charges

If you really wanted to see these gangsters spill their guts... before finding them guilty of contempt of Congress bring them into court and jail them for contempt of court (which means they can be held in jail indefinitely). A judge can hold you in contempt of court just for glancing left when you should've glanced right.

Opinion: A newly disclosed memo reveals Trump’s plot to turn the military into his personal goon squad

Amazingly, the GOP has become a party solely for the benefit of Donald Trump. Why on earth anybody but Trump should vote Republican is beyond me.

Ex-White House Staffer Infuriates Trump With Claim That He Admitted Election Loss

Opinion: America cannot give evangelicals what they want

Trump Reportedly Wants To Unseat Alabama GOP Gov. Ivey Over Canceled Rally

GOP Gov. Chris Sununu Says Republicans In Congress Have 'Priorities Screwed Up'

‘You Are A Pawn’: Judge Sentences Jan. 6 Rioter Who Went On Voter Fraud Rant To Jail

Former Pence Aide's Slam Fuels Renewed Push For Probe Of 'Coup Memo' Lawyer

Opinion: Insurrectionists are finally receiving justice. But the GOP is more unhinged than ever.

Trump Asking Appeals Court To Keep His Attempt To Overthrow Democracy A Secret

Opinion: Trump’s rage at Georgia Republicans should unsettle us all

‘Cancel Culture’ Has No Effect On This Year’s Grammy Nominees

If anybody is engaging in replacement & cancel culture it's Donald Trump: He's systematically replacing & cancelling every Republican out there (who might still imagine he/she is a Republican) with Trump loyalists who don't give a damn about the GOP (or about anyone or anything else) and are only loyal to Donald Trump.

Opinion: It’s not ‘polarization.’ We suffer from Republican radicalization.

****************************************************

Millionaire Pooch Selling Miami Villa Once Owned By Madonna

Sez he needs a clean start after crapping on every square inch of Madonna's ole place down there.

****************************************************

Mike Tyson Says He Smokes Toad Venom As Much As 3 Times In A Day

Claims that's what's keeping him at his peak intellectual best.

****************************************************

Majority Of Americans Want Supreme Court To Reject Texas’ Extreme Abortion Law

Even bigger majorities want to hit the Mega Millions. Good luck with that too!

****************************************************

Why you always think your friends are mad at you — even when they’re not

Because you always imagine that those you do some'm to will seek to get even with you even when you know that they don't know you're the one did it to'em.

****************************************************

Pentagon warns National Guard troops could be forced out for vaccine refusal after Oklahoma rejects mandate

Good Heavens, man! If they can't take a little pinch in their arms for their country, do you really imagine that they'll take a bullet?! I think they should get rid of as many of the wooses as they can.

****************************************************

Wyoming GOP Says It Won’t Recognize Rep. Liz Cheney As A Republican Anymore

Sure. That squares perfectly with Republicans' refusal to recognize anymore that they live in the United States of America. [I can dig it. What's democracy to them!]

****************************************************

Rupert Murdoch says Trump should move on: ‘The past is the past’

And that's saying a lot from a man who lives in the 18th century.

****************************************************

Trump Endorses Rep. Paul Gosar One Day After House Censure

So, what else is new?! Good people stick together, and evil people also stick together: "Tell me who you're with and I'll tell you who you are." The ledger of legislators trying to help the people of America is mostly all on the side of the Democrats, while the ledger of lawless fraudsters, liars, hypocrites, scoundrels, thieves, immoral and unethical politicos are all Republicans.

Pelosi calls for investigations of Gosar’s video that depicts him killing Ocasio-Cortez

Rep. Paul Gosar’s Sister Slams Lawmaker’s ‘Sick Fantasies’

The GOP’s bad defense of Paul Gosar

Opinion: Paul Gosar made a murderous video. Kevin McCarthy is murdering democracy.

‘Dangerous, Unhinged, Reckless’: Paul Gosar’s Brother Wants Him Expelled

Opinion: Republicans are fomenting violent extremism — and are also hostage to the extremists

****************************************************

Ohio Republicans Pass Congressional Map Heavily Favoring Ohio Republicans

This was a total & complete surprise to me.

****************************************************

Think Degas was a misogynist? Take another look.

No, not often do I think that. Mostly I think about Whoppers (extra onions and extra tomatoes).

****************************************************

A lawyer once bragged about thinking ‘like a criminal’ in a viral ad. Now, he’s a convicted felon.

"Think first. Act later." [Always do things in the right prder.]

****************************************************

Trevor Noah Drills Paul Gosar For Always Mentioning He’s A Dentist

He's a dentist?! I thought he was a proctologist and that that's why he was a Republican--because of all the assholes in the GOP.

****************************************************

State Sen. Amanda Chase, self-billed ‘Trump in heels,’ announces bid for Congress

When he first heard about it Trump was livid, and cried: "Has she been talking to Putin?!" ["I don't recollect wearing my high heels on that pee-pee tape!"]

****************************************************

A voting surge helped Republicans in Virginia. So why would they impede voter access?

Because Republicans have made a precise study of which roadblocks work against Democrat voters while not impeding Republican voters. Google it yourself.

Opinion: The roots of the Republican war on democracy

****************************************************

G.O.P. Donors Back Manchin and Sinema as They Reshape Biden’s Agenda

Democratic control of the Senate was just a painful illusion after all: The Republicans really had 52 votes.

Trump's Estate Tax Giveaway To Rich Triggered 50% Drop In The IRS Revenue: Report -- Billionaires, meanwhile. have doubled their collective net worth to more than $5 trillion in just 5 years.

****************************************************

If Bolsonaro is potentially guilty of pandemic crimes, is Trump, too?

No, because while apparently Brazilians are human beings and therefore their lives always matter, American lives (as Trump has treated them) ain't worth shit: Trump can kill as many of them as he wishes and nobody's ever going to say there's anything particularly wrong with that in the least. In fact, the group of Americans whose lives he has victimized the most are also the most eager to have him make it back to power so that he can victimize them even worse!

Thanks to Biden, Trump remains in the game

Trump White House Repeatedly Blocked Critical COVID Warnings, Officials Tell House Probe -- Trump frequently complained publicly that U.S. statistics looked bad because too many tests were revealing the nation’s high number of cases. Stopping tests was his solution to minimizing the appearance of a problem. “If we stop testing right now, we’d have very few cases, if any,” Trump insisted in June last year.

This is the man who was elected President of The United States! This should tells us instantly that public education has failed us miserably in this country--That we should get its guidance out of the hands of the uneducated mob and place it where it belongs: in the hands of competent professionals with the properly accredited qualification to lead such endeavors. We have no studies of civics, of morality, nor of ethics anywhere worth the telling! How then can one expect voters to repudiate dangerous immoral & unethical illiterates like Donald Trump?

Trump [also?] on the extinction of species: "I think that once we find out a species is going to go extinct we should just go ahead & kill every individual of that species that's still left out there, so we can stop worrying about them. And, by the way, this includes people too: Once we know people are going to go extinct anyway we should just go out and kill every one of them we can find. That way we'll finally be able to have some peace of mind (at last)." [That's what he might have been after when he tried everything in his power to stop people from trying to save themselves by getting vaccinated. The House Jan.6 Committee should definitely look into whether Trump believed Covid was going to drive mankind to extinction. Therefore--]

When you place the fragile lives of people in the hands of the ignorant a lot of those lives will be lost through their fingers because the ignorant simply do not know how to hold them safely.

The presumption that a political leader is honest and will always act in the best interests of the people goes against everything that we know about human nature.

A man who but once lies must never again be trusted to stand by the truth. If ever again he speaks the truth let it be in harmony with the proven facts.

Brazil Senate panel to accuse Bolsonaro of crimes against humanity for covid negligence -- A lawmaker who is leading the probe has accused President Jair Bolsonaro and other officials of making deliberate decisions that allowed the coronavirus to spread, resulting in unnecessary deaths.

This is the charge that all those Republicans and amateur Trump family & pals working against safeguarding the health of the American people by malicious malfeasance & incompetence should face, Donald Trump most especially of all because just like he was the principal moving force behind the Capitol insurrection Trump was also the moving force behind the GOP's suicidal attitudes against America's struggle to defeat Covid-19.

Brazil's Bolsonaro should face homicide charge for COVID-19 errors, says Senate report

Donald Tramp did not all by himself manage to convince almost 3/4 of his supporters (against every human soul across the entire breadth & length of this country who honestly ran the 2020 election, Democrat and Republican) that the loser of that election was actually the winner. No. It was with the deadly poison of FOX News, and the malicious echo chamber of lies that the GOP has become: They are the ones who are truly to blame; they are the ones that will be most harshly judged in our history books. And, if there were any real justice in this world, they are the one who ought to pay dearly for the harm they have done to this country.

****************************************************

ABC’s Jonathan Karl Recalls ‘1 Of The Stranger Things I Ever Experienced’ With Trump

More strange even than still claiming he's still president one year after he got trounced by Biden?

****************************************************

Judge Says Al Gore Took Election Defeat Like ‘A Man,’ Unlike Trump

In Trump's defense: In his entire perverse evil life of avarice & malice Donald Trump has never been much of a man. Not ever. Not once (or, prove it).

Jan. 6 Organizers Reportedly Used Burner Phones To Communicate With Eric Trump

****************************************************

What Happens When It’s Too Late to Get an Abortion

You hold a gender-reveal party.

****************************************************

Why you find do-gooders insufferable

Yeah! Why can't they just be bastards like the rest of us?

****************************************************

We’re a Small Arkansas Newspaper. Why Is the State Making Us Sign a Pledge About Israel?

In the matter of government establishing laws on discrimination against Israel:

The Constitution certainly prohibits censoring opinion but not speech which is harmful to others. You are free to say, "I don't like John Smith." But if you say that "John Smith is a rapist," you had better be prepared to prove it because matters will not rest with 'your constitutional right' to say that. Even saying that you find John Smith ugly may place you in jeopardy of a frivolous suit (and if you're up against a frivolous judge who/or jury which doesn't think much of the Constitution there might be Hell to pay). So be aware that the "right to free speech" is mostly in the eye of the beholder--best to err on the side of silence perhaps. This is why it takes courage to speak freely: It has penalties.

The state absolutely has a right to pass laws against your doing harm to others (and discrimination here certainly qualifies as harmful); which certainty must include harm to an entire country (even if it's a foreign country you may wish to do harm to).

Censorship, on the other hand, is a different matter: I don't agree with silencing any speech before the fact. Let the evil words out; and then let the evil men who speak them face the consequence of their evil. I think that's what the Constitution has in mind.

In the case of The Arkansas Times being told by an advertiser they will no longer run ads under certain conditions: I don't see how The Arkansas Times can compel such advertisers to run ads in it if [for whatever conditions] they don't want to. Do you?!? Here The Arkansas Times' argument against the advertiser's pro-Israel stance is that a boycott is protected speech without realizing [or perhaps simply not willing to acknowledge] that the entity actually doing the boycotting [or threatening it] is not them but the advertiser! Therefore it is their adversary's 'free speech rights' they seek to defend: If they wanted their ads they should have acceded to their demands, or been happy to decline their demands and look for other advertisers & everybody wins.

Unfortunately what The 'little' Arkansas Times is self-evidently really after here is for the courts to unambiguously state that there is an unqualified right to boycott Israel at will by anyone any time anywhere without the fear of incurring any penalties. And I believe the courts rightly eventually saw through that.

****************************************************

British Lawmaker Is Reprimanded for Bringing Her Baby to a Debate

Apparently the baby was such a competent debater that it made the rest of'em look bad.

****************************************************

Capitol Rioter Who Stole Nancy Pelosi’s Lectern Pleads Guilty

Sez it was a terrible mistake: He couldn't find a single book in his house to rest on it so he might read it. Sez he should've stolen her iPhone.

****************************************************

Democrats should temper their expensive enthusiasms with a clear-eyed look at the electorate

Hell, if they did that they might just as well become hate-mongering white supremist Republicans!

A 19th-Century Law Dismantled The KKK. Now It Could Bring Down A New Generation Of Extremists.

****************************************************

Polyp removed from Biden’s colon requires ‘no further action,’ doctor says

Apparently Biden's ass killed the polyp pretty thoroughly.

****************************************************

Albatrosses, known for monogamy, may be pushed to ‘divorce’ because of climate change, study finds

Albatross lawyers say that the most common cause for the divorces is one of the albatrosses around the neck of the other.

****************************************************

We asked experts: Should we keep wearing masks?

Yes! If you're snaggled-tooth ugly: By all means, yes.

****************************************************

Putin says Russia will offer good gas deal to Serbia

Promises that his usual scheme of getting countries dependent on Russian gas so he can then blackmail them will not be used on Serbia... in the short term.

****************************************************

A Trump PAC Could Pay $156,000 For Every Jan. 6 Rioter’s Defense, But So Far Has Spent Zero

Could but won't: Anyone who as ever worked for Trump knows that Trump never willingly pays out cash, he only takes it in. [You want cash from Trump you'd better own a very good copy of one of his pee-pee tapes.]

****************************************************

NASA hopes to hit an asteroid now in case we really need to knock one away later

Actually, I didn't really want to tell you but it's the real thing: They didn't want to alarm the world, but the asteroid is definitely going to strike the earth if we miss the shot. But don't tell anybody: It's better if they don't know we're all going to die unless we hit it. And, anyway, if we do then it's no big deal.

****************************************************

Va. professor steps down after firestorm over study into adults who are attracted to minors

Now he's thinking of opening a Kindergarten.

****************************************************

Greene introduces bill to award Congress’s highest honor to Rittenhouse

These Republicans are really funny. Who needs Marx Brothers films, right?

****************************************************

LA Firefighter Accused Of Wiping His Butt With Vaccine Order; Officials Investigating: Report

His conviction is all but assured, as the proper way to clean your butt is to blot, not wipe: Don't spread it, clean it!

****************************************************

A Russia-backed coup against Ukraine planned for December - Zelensky

NATO chief warns Russia on troop build-up

Well, apparently Putin has decided that the way to re-conquer the Ukraine is to mastermind a coup there to set up a Russian ally who will then 'request' the Russian troops being built up on its border come in to help 'restore order.' That's one way to invade Ukraine with plausible deniability, I guess, since (like Hitler) Putin too thinks that the leaders of the Western Democracies are worms.

****************************************************

I Grew Up Poor. How Am I Supposed to Raise My Middle-Class Kids?

Hire some poor person to do it for you, of course. [from the best-selling The Perks of Money]

****************************************************

Despite judge’s ruling on Seminole Tribe’s sports betting, you can still place bets

Who pays attention to judges these days? Trump and his gang claim every ruling against them is due to the judges being democrats (or not white). So why should the anti-Trump side pay any attention to rulings from Republican (or white) judges then?

****************************************************

Kyle Rittenhouse is enrolled at Arizona State University. Student groups want him gone

Kyle promises he won't shoot anyone--unless he feels threatened. You know, same as Putin.

****************************************************

How long until your car drives itself?

Oh, I don't know... Can't be that long: My underwears have been running around for themselves for years now.

****************************************************

Romance scammer charmed online daters — then conned them out of $400,000, feds say

In scammer's defense: He only answered ads from lonely hearts who stated that they were, "looking for charmers who would like me to send all my money to people I've just met online."

****************************************************

These living robots made of frog cells can now reproduce, study says

Wasn't there a terrifying horror movie about exactly this a while back? Scared the pants outta me--I was arrested coming out of the theatre.

****************************************************

Stephen Sondheim Wrote My Life’s Soundtrack

Yeah, that "Send in The Clowns" is really something. Very incisive.

****************************************************

‘Killer robots’ may be coming. New Zealand wants to stop them.

So now it begins: Killer Robot killer robots!

****************************************************

Iranian Brig.-Gen. urges destruction of Israel prior to nuke talks

Yes, but, who's gonna be left in Iran to carry on the nuke talks if Iran attempts that?

****************************************************

What Mark Meadows’s sudden cooperation with the Jan. 6 committee could mean

The Jan.6 Committee isn't being led by lawless thugs like Ted Cruz or Josh Hawley but by upstanding and highly principled individuals who can no doubt reach a reasonable deal on what pertains to matters of the government and what pertains to the many personal crimes of Donald Trump. Therefore, witnesses who might wish to 'turn state's evidence' and provide information on the crimes committed by Trump against the state I think will eventually be able to reach an understanding with this committee for the good of the republic on just exactly how all such crimes came about... without going much into how many people Trump has defrauded or how many dollars he's stolen along the way.

Appeals court questions Trump bid to keep Jan. 6 White House records secret from Congress

Opinion: Trump’s stonewalling on the Jan. 6 investigation is crumbling

****************************************************

Trump allies work to place supporters in key election posts across the country, spurring fears about future vote challenges -- Supporters of the former president who are seeking offices that would give them oversight of elections say they just want to make the system secure.

By placing it in the hands of Trump?!? How's that gonna work, again? You want to make the hens safer by placing them in the jaws of the fox?!

"In Michigan’s third-largest county, Macomb, Republican officials appointed to the canvassing board a former Republican poll challenger, Nancy Tiseo, who tweeted shortly after the 2020 election that Trump should suspend meetings of the electoral college and have “military tribunals” investigate claims about election fraud."

ABC’s Jonathan Karl Issues Stark Warning About Covering Donald Trump 2024

Michael Cohen Calls Trump's 'Big Lie' The 'Biggest Grift In U.S. History'

Opinion: Trump’s coverup of his Jan. 6 corruption takes an ominous new turn

Opinion: We may have already missed our last, best chance to bolster American democracy

****************************************************

Peter Navarro Says He Wanted ‘Baby’ Anthony Fauci ‘Strangled In His Crib’

Of course! Murder the very/in fact the only people who can protect us, who can save us from the fatal virus--and then howl at the moon to save us while dancing around a bonfire: It's what all primitive savage societies do--Aren't you glad you live in a highly advanced civilization now, though? [Or perhaps you're one of those who wants to regress back to the Times of Trump?]

Anthony Fauci Slams Ted Cruz Over Capitol Riot

Trump May Have Infected Gold Star Families, White House Staff, Others, Per His Former Chief

****************************************************

Kavanaugh, who told Senate Roe v. Wade was ‘settled as precedent,’ signals openness to overturning it

Thank you, Mister Kavanaugh, for proving the Republicans wrong and the Democrats right one more time. [It would be very strange indeed if it ever went the other way!]

****************************************************

Alec Baldwin says he did not pull trigger in ‘Rust’ shooting

Sez he was probably handed one of those AI guns that shoots all by itself whenever it feels like it.

****************************************************

Red states are now paying people not to get vaccinated

Is this insane, or what?!? This so goes against common sense that advocating giving toddlers loaded guns to play with pales by comparison--as it could never kill as many human beings as does Covid.

Opinion: The GOP doesn’t care about the suffering it causes — even among its own base

****************************************************

The Only Mother on the Court

You're talking about Clarence Thomas, right? [And, no: He's not the only mother on the Supreme Court.]

****************************************************

The World Is Lifting Abortion Restrictions. Why Is the U.S. Moving Against the Tide?

So that American women will become abortion tourists and help foreign countries' bottom lines. [I'm sure.]

****************************************************

George Clooney Explains Why He Turned Down $35 Million For A Day’s Work

Claims it was not an 8-hour day. [Clooney sez they refused to pay him overtime.]

****************************************************

Colombian authorities thwart attempt to smuggle tarantulas, cockroaches and a scorpion out of the country

Ya can't have enough cockroaches in Colombia.

****************************************************

A plumber was working on a toilet at Joel Osteen’s church. Then a trove of cash and checks fell out of the wall.

If it'd been me I would have brushed all that fell outta the wall into my satchel and gone out claiming I needed a special pipe-piece & that I would be back Monday. [You know a criminal organization like a TV Evangelist's isn't about to report money somebody stole from them to the cops.]

****************************************************

Bolsonaro Launched A Trumpian Anti-Vaccine Campaign. Brazilians Got The Shot Anyway.

Brazilians much smarter than Republicans. [Actually, reptiles much smarter than Republicans.]

October COVID Death Rate In Reddest Tenth Of Nation Six Times Higher Than Bluest: Report

Poll shows Republicans’ disregard for their own doctors on the coronavirus

****************************************************

For the sake of global stability, the U.S. must deter a Russian invasion of Ukraine

They should have set up Ukraine's deterrence months, maybe years ago by providing Ukraine the military equipment to make Putin not think it worth the risk to his 'prestige' to try it. Now it's probably too late--Putin always goes after cheap victories, and this is starting to look like one.

****************************************************

Amazon, can we have our name back? -- Amazon's use of Alexa as a wake word for its voice assistant turned the name into a command, impacting daily interactions for people with the name.

Amazon should have used the word 'vagina' (nobody cries out "vagina!"). I've never been anywhere where it was often spoken outloud, and even when they did they spoke it in a soft whisper. [And, no: I've never been to your house.]

****************************************************

‘Obscene’ GOP Blockade Stalls Dozens Of Biden Nominees -- Democrats benefit from a rules change that Republicans put into place when they held the majority: A district court nominee only requires two hours of debate time, versus the 30 hours that were previously required before Republicans drastically changed that rule in April 2019.

Again & again when they're in the majority the Republicans change the Senate rules to suit themselves, but the Democrats demur because they seem to prefer to go about [it] naked in the woods.

****************************************************

Rep. Devin Nunes (R-Calif.) to leave Congress to become Trump media company CEO

You knew these Republicans were bought and never working for the dullards stupid enough to vote for them; and now you can watch the payoffs out in the open (which is Trump's way to let law enforcement know that the law doesn't apply to him).

Opinion: How Devin Nunes’s new media job for Trump explains the GOP grift machine

****************************************************

Steven Spielberg Refused to Subtitle Spanish in West Side Story to Not Give 'English the Power"

I saw the original film, and I always wondered why at some point somebody didn't tell them that foreign accents are strictly reserved for comedy! [The Puerto Ricans speaking in accents to themselves sounded hilarious to me.]

****************************************************

Alex Baldwin says he never pulled the trigger. Experts are skeptical.

Say more likely than not as soon as a privileged man who never grew up like Baldwin got his gun he started going: "Hey, joey!" BANG! "Hey, Sally!" BANG! "Hey, Billy!" BANG! BANG! "Oh, damn! Was that a real bullet in there?!?" ["Sorry."]

FBI tests suggest gun in ‘Rust’ shooting could not fire without trigger pull

****************************************************

A reader asks, ‘Where can I learn how to dine?’

A human being answers, "At home from your parents."

****************************************************

What is the best last-minute gift you have ever given?

Cash. [The only people who hate it are those who already have too much of it.]

****************************************************

People are regretting spending $800 on a Chanel advent calendar featuring stickers and a dust bag -- For many who spent more than $800 on the calendar, opening the doors resulted in limited luxuries and a lot of disappointment.

Not for Chanel.

****************************************************

Here’s Why I Invented A ‘Death Machine’ That Lets People Take Their Own Lives

This isn't the one with the big rock tied by a long string to the top of a pole is it? That thing's dangerous!

****************************************************

Opinion: Awful new revelations about Trump and Jan. 6 show Mike Pence is no hero

The problem of Jan.6 was all with our antiquated [failed] electoral college system (and subsequent pointless & superfluous 'ceremonial counting' of the people's vote in congress) and none of it was with the state elections themselves:

The lesson of Jan.6 (if the American People care to learn it) is that congress must do away with this dangerous Electoral College anachronism and specify the merely ceremonial nature of Congress's certification of the election--including also doing away with congressmen's so-called objections to the will of the voters of their states (alleged frauds in elections belong strictly in the courts). Fail to do this and a repeat of Jan.6 can never be outside the realm of possibilities.

Opinion: A GOP lawyer issues a frantic warning to his own party about Trump and 2024 -- We’re talking about the Electoral Count Act of 1887. Ginsberg’s warning, which he issued in a piece for National Review, is that if we don’t fix glaring ambiguities in the ECA, we’re leaving ourselves profoundly vulnerable to future election subversion. Ginsberg warns Republicans that if they don’t fix the ECA, Democrats could exploit it next time, especially with (roll ominous soundtrack here) the terrifying Kamala Harris as vice president.

Congressional voices in the so-called 'vote count' should be limited to crying out: "The Great State of Such-&-Such casts its votes for The Winner of its popular vote!" (As such criers are wisely obliged to do in our political conventions.)

Opinion: The media has given Republicans a free pass on assaulting democracy

Those who do not think an election will be fair must be barred from it because not to do so will ensure the outcome will be pointless. Why even run such an election?!?

Opinion: Milley’s revelation about Trump leaves us with five questions

Milley’s calls reflect a crisis. But it’s not a military crisis.

Opinion: The perils that the book ‘Peril’ reveals should be investigated by Congress

Trump, Elder’s campaign falsely claimed fraud before Calif. votes were counted — a growing GOP tactic

Emboldened by recall win, Democrats brush aside talk of unity and escalate attacks on Republicans

****************************************************

Sidney Powell, L. Lin Wood among attorneys ordered to pay $180,000 over Michigan ‘Kraken’ suit

Here's an article that should have been more properly called, "Soaking the suckers" ...

Sidney Powell group raised more than $14 million spreading election falsehoods

Opinion: How Devin Nunes’s new media job for Trump explains the GOP grift machine

****************************************************

Low-profile heiress who ‘played a strong role’ in financing Jan. 6 rally is thrust into spotlight -- Julie Fancelli, 72, a daughter of the Publix supermarkets founder, said she did not expect or support violence at the U.S. Capitol that day.

Apparently she has decided to go with the Trump defense.

****************************************************

Youngkin says he will take Virginia out of a regional greenhouse gas initiative to save ratepayers money

Sez he is a firm believer in "Save a few pennies now, pay millions & millions later!"

****************************************************

Believe it or not, Fox News once knew shame

Now it's stolen its identity.

****************************************************

The next step in space tourism? A luxury training center for civilians.

The ultimate space trip will be called, "Take A Crap In Space!" Purgatives will be provided--unless it looks like the spaceship is going to blow up (when they won't be needed).

****************************************************

Senate votes to repeal key Biden administration vaccine and testing policy

Republicans also voted to provide every American a barber's straight-razor so they can cut their heads off if they so desire: "Freedom, sir! Freedom!"

****************************************************

UM faculty, hit with pay cuts, fuming over $80 million deal for star football coach Cristobal

What Miami should do is close the damn university and just make the "The U Hurricanes" a stand-alone football club.

****************************************************

For the equivalent of $6.25 a bottle, this Chilean cab will be the life of the party

For $0 a bottle I can be the life of the party too. (And I'll take as many bottles as I can get.)

****************************************************

Neil Young made ‘Barn,’ his new album, in a barn

And Gaston Leroux wrote The Phantom of the Opera in the sewers of Paris [not].

****************************************************

What would be the fallout if Russia invaded Ukraine?

A lot of Russian and Ukrainian soldiers would die. Not much of a disincentive for Putin to not push ahead with such a (for him) no-skin-off-my-nose war, I'm afraid.

****************************************************

China Evergrande Defaults on Its Debt. Now What?

Now China will have the pleasure of enjoying its very own Great Depression.

****************************************************

Trump Rioter Who Attacked Cops With Fire Extinguisher Should Serve 5 Years, Feds Say

5 years for attempted murder of a policeman ain't bad. If he'd succeeded maybe he could've gotten a few months more probation.

****************************************************

Most Americans support religious exemptions to vaccination but say they’re overused, survey finds

They support it because one always hates to be killed by careless idiots who don't give a fuck about one's life, but it's all right to be killed by those who are doing it because they believe in God. "Aww... It certainly makes a BIG difference!" [Don't you just love to be living in the last days of The Dark Ages!]

****************************************************

GOP Rep. Fred Upton receives death threats after voting for bipartisan infrastructure deal

There used to be a time when we didn't see these many death threats & other outrages because back then people were sure that they'd be prosecuted and sent to jail if they broke any law. But after Trump pretty much destroyed respect for the certainty of the law (in fact, instituted actual contempt for the law by his deadly example... never being seriously prosecuted for his many crimes or being forced to serve time in prison for them), after Trump this country will not see again respect for the law until a great many big-time law-breakers are prosecuted harshly and made to serve hard time in jail) so that the people once more will appreciate & acknowledge that this is a country under the rule of law (and not one dictated to by thugs like Trump and his ugly ilk).

I monitor Trump’s die-hard base. They’re still plotting out in the open.

Trump Encouraged Staff To Break The Law, Says Former Press Secretary

Thirteen of former President Trump’s most senior aides campaigned illegally while in office, a watchdog said.

Top GOP congressional candidate in Texas accused of abusing teenage daughter of estranged husband

A year later, an obviously illegal campaign stunt is determined to have been illegal

Pfizer CEO says people who spread vaccine disinformation are ‘criminals’

Rep. Liz Cheney Says Trump Is At War ‘With The Rule Of Law’

Jimmy Kimmel Taunts ‘Idiot’ Jan. 6 Rioter Who Begged ‘Cult Leader’ Trump For Help

Death Threats Jolt Republicans Who Voted For Infrastructure Bill

Why do some still deny Biden’s 2020 victory? Here’s what the data says.

Opinion: Trump is losing in court. But his threat to democracy is growing.

Opinion: Tough sentences for Jan. 6 rioters should freak Trump out

Madison Saw Something in the Constitution We Should Open Our Eyes To

Trump says it was ‘common sense’ for Jan. 6 rioters to chant ‘Hang Mike Pence!’

Journalist Reveals Key Capitol Riot Evidence Mike Pence Is Trying To Keep Hidden

Opinion: A sobering, new report shows how much work is needed to protect democracy

The Republican establishment’s rationalization of Trump’s fraud claims is also wrong

Opinion: Fresh reporting on Jan. 6 is a powerful rebuke to those minimizing events of that terrible day

U.S. listed as a ‘backsliding’ democracy for first time in report by European think tank

Students On Hunger Strike For Over A Week Urge Dems To Pass Voting Rights Legislation

The GOP plotted to overturn the 2020 election before it was even over

Republican Lawmakers Introduce Hundreds Of Bills To Restrict Voting Rights Nationwide

Opinion: Republicans are fomenting violent extremism -- and are also hostage to the extremists

****************************************************

Suspicious, Insecure Trump 'Most Difficult' President To Brief On Intel, CIA Report Reveals -- Trump “doubted the competence of intelligence professionals and felt no need for regular intelligence support,” says a report published by the CIA.

Naturally: Anyone who believes he knows everything is by definition incapable of leaning anything. That's what keeps someone who is a naturally-born ignoramus an ignoramus until the day he dies. [Luckily, at 75 Trump doesn't have that much longer to go.]

Trump Includes Himself Among The 'Very Stupid' In Mangled Vote Fraud Statement -- “Anybody that doesn’t think there wasn’t massive Election Fraud in the 2020 Presidential Election is either very stupid, or very corrupt!” his message read.

Opinion: Trump’s stonewalling on the Jan. 6 investigation is crumbling

Worry about Trump continuing to undermine democracy, not his abuse of Mark Milley

Opinion: An angry rift between Trump and Bannon signals the far-right’s future

Opinion: David Perdue confesses he would have aided a coup. He’s not the only one.

Opinion: Adam Schiff is right. Republicans are too scared of Trump to reform the presidency.

In Bid for Control of Elections, Trump Loyalists Face Few Obstacles

Opinion: The damage done by Joe Manchin is likely to get much worse

****************************************************

Advocates worry Biden is letting U.S. democracy erode on his watch -- Derrick Johnson, president of the NAACP, said the administration’s lack of urgency about safeguarding democracy, especially by shoring up voting rights, is “appalling ... I have heard from many of my colleagues and members that the lack of priority around voting rights will be the undoing of the legacy for this presidency.”

I really don't know why Biden doesn't see the critical importance of putting an end to the Republicans' anti-voting schemes, because anyone with even an ounce of brains knows that as soon as the Republicans come to power again they're going to shut down the four crises Biden promised to tackle upon taking office (coronavirus, the economy, climate change and racial equity) and, really, any & every other measure in the Democrats' agenda. And the only way that Biden can make sure that those efforts are not thwarted by the GOP is to pursue a no-holds-barred struggle to shore up democracy and strengthen the nation's voting rights.

The only guarantee that ANY measures passed by the democrats will endure is to make sure that Republicans do not hijack the reins of power (through underhanded and unfair elections, packing the Supreme Court with Trump justices, shameless naked lying, and other schemes) and reverse them. Every other means to safeguard Biden's agenda (signing the bills into law, even having the entire country rave about them) is a crapshoot with loaded dice minted by the GOP.

Opinion: The Supreme Court isn’t well. The only hope for a cure is more justices.

This Supreme Court Case May Be The Final Battle In The Long War On Abortion Rights

Are we finally going to stop the fiction that all court judgments always come down on the side of right/wrong when so many of them can be so clearly predicted by who the judges are?

Opinion: The nation needed a strong defense of constitutional rights. The Supreme Court did this instead.

Trump-appointed judges block Biden administration vaccine mandate for health-care workers

I wish the Democrats would finally learn what the Republicans seemed to have leaned decades & decades ago, for Heavens' Sakes! [Start appointing Democratic judges while you can!]

Supreme Court Allows Arizona To Keep Voting Restrictions

Elizabeth Warren Announces Support For Expanding The Supreme Court

Opinion: Surprisingly, there has been a redistricting turnaround

****************************************************

How Trump-backed secretary of state candidates would change elections in the United States

No. You don't have to wonder whether these people know that they are engaging in a conspiracy to overthrow democracy in the United States or they are simply idiots being manipulated by sinister mastermind overlords... anymore than you have to wonder whether those 'flash mobs' busting into stores imagine they are participating in political activities or know perfectly well that they're just out to steal stuff for themselves.

How Trump-backed secretary of state candidates would change elections in the United States -- “We need to investigate to see if he won,” Jay Schroeder, a Republican secretary of state candidate in Wisconsin, said in an interview. “This is what I can’t understand: If someone wants to have an audit, and you think there is nothing there, why wouldn’t you let them do it?”

And if somebody is found innocent why can't he be tried again & again & again until he's finally found guilty? It's a puzzlement, I know.

How Trump-backed secretary of state candidates would change elections in the United States -- In Arizona, candidate Shawnna Bolick, a current Republican state lawmaker, introduced a bill that would create an “elections oversight” committee in the Republican-led legislature with the power to reject who the secretary of state certifies.

But wouldn't that mean then that when the people cannot elect their own representatives themselves their only alternative is to do it by the force of arms? Isn't that why we cede power to the majority through elections in the first place... so the majority will refrain from an armed confrontation it will probably win anyway (except with lots more bloodshed)?

The Trump Conspiracy Is Hiding in Plain Sight

Today's Republicans are running the same dead-end fatal mistake that the antebellum pro-slavery Southern American minority ran--and which led directly to a Civil War that proved the point: The minority may push and even start an anti-democratic overthrow of the nation when it loses at the ballot box, but the majority will not go silently and their response is likelier than not to eventually succeed, even if after a great deal more bloodshed than had all the people just accepted the democratic judgement of the election(s) win or lose.

Republicans today are full of bluster and defiance of the American popular majority, ready to concoct whatever sinister/malicious schemes they can imagine to rescue their own just & proper loses in fair-held elections. But if they succeed, one thing is certain: The defrauded majority will not go silent and accept their will being thwarted by obvious thieves. There will not be merely/only a soft howl from the Democrats. And many more Americans who are not Democrats will join them in the cry for justice that must follow. And if Republicans are too near-sighted to see that far, woe unto them most of all.

Jan. 6 crossed a line. We need to say so before it’s too late for democracy.

We’re Edging Closer to Civil War

Opinion: 3 retired generals: The military must prepare now for a 2024 insurrection

Opinion: The 700-plus miscreants who desecrated the Capitol deserve consequences

Opinion: ‘We are closer to civil war than any of us would like to believe,’ new study says

Former US Army generals urge Pentagon to prepare for potential civil war

Thank you, Donald Trump!

****************************************************

Israel’s staunch evangelical allies shocked by Trump’s outburst on Netanyahu

Say they had no idea that Trump was such a bastard. [What a surprise.]

****************************************************

Vietnam jails its ‘most famous activist’ for nine years

Belarus court jails leading opposition figure Sergei Tikhanovsky for 18 years

Belarus sez it's twice the tyranny Vietman is.

****************************************************

A married man was extorted for having an affair. So he hired a crew that killed his blackmailer, feds say.

Yeah. Nobody ever really appreciates just how dangerous being a blackmail can be. These poor unfortunate blackmailers live a precarious life.

****************************************************

OJ Simpson A ‘Completely Free Man;’ Parole Ends In Nevada

Now OJ Simpson is just trying to find a "real" Voodoo priestess powerful enough to free him from the ghosts of his wife and Ronald Goldman.

****************************************************

Arctic temperature soared to an unprecedented 100 degrees in 2020, scientists confirm

Oh? Thank God! I always wanted to visit the Arctic, but not when it was that cold.

****************************************************

Climate change has destabilized Earth’s poles, putting the rest of the planet in peril

Thankfully there's not much of value in that planet except a few cockroaches & a handful of other animals.

****************************************************

Alex Jones Wonders If Joe Biden Used 'Weather Weapons' To Cause Deadly Tornadoes

And why Biden didn't use them on Mar-a-Lago?!? [Claims that's typical of Biden and the Democrats. And why Republicans're gonna beat'em.]

****************************************************

Florida Trump supporters arrested on charges of casting more than one vote in 2020 election

It's almost always the case that the person pointing the finger at others as the possible murderers is most usually the murderer himself. [So pay close attention at all the insults Trump hurls at everybody else.]

****************************************************

After Kentucky devastation, critics seize on Rand Paul’s record opposing disaster bills

In Rand Paul's defense: He wasn't elected to help Kentucky's bums, loafers & other residents but for the greater glory of Donald Trump! [Just like all the other Republicans.]

****************************************************

How doctors removed a WWII artillery shell from a patient's behind -- A man came to an ER with an artillery shell stuck up his anus, so the staff called in a sapper squad.

Patient sez he was way off on what he believed that artillery shell really was.

****************************************************

Climate change has destabilized the Earth’s poles, putting the rest of the planet in peril

Why don't we just spread sugar on the ice so it reflects more sunlight? My mother suggests quilting together all the old cotton T-shirts we throw out every year and spreading them over the melting poles. Big rollers with white paint might also work. [from the best-selling Scientific Solutions In The Age of Trump]

****************************************************

House Jan. 6 Committee Subpoenas ‘Coup PowerPoint’ Author

"What? You can't plot to overthrow the government any more?!?"

****************************************************

Israel’s staunch evangelical allies shocked by Trump’s outburst on Netanyahu

"Today Netanyahu, tomorrow Billy Graham."

"Billy Graham is dead."

"So is John McCain but that hasn't stopped Trump."

****************************************************

Opinion: The red covid wave is here -- "...we don’t all have to be that way. We can speak the truth about where we are without wishing death on our political opponents. We can fight for what we believe in without twisting into the ugliest version of ourselves."

That's not what my 'God-fearing' doctor thinks. He assured me that, "Omicron is a sign from God that there are too many Republican voters. Lay them low, O Lord! Lay them low! It will even the gerrymandered field a might." And when he asked me I assured him I was a life-long Democrat, that my family had been Democrats for generations, and that we all simply loathed Donald Trump. [No sense taking any chances on a man who can legally work you over with a knife.] "You're not vaccinated you don't come into this hospital--I don't care what you got!" [Hallelujah.]

Alabama doctor pledges to stop treating unvaccinated patients

Washington State Sen. Doug Ericksen Dies After COVID Battle

A key challenge for Biden: Those most at risk are his biggest critics

Hospital system says it will deny transplants to the unvaccinated in ‘almost all situations’

One physician's case for refusing to treat unvaccinated patients in person

No Jab? No Service. Doctors Flip The Script On Covid-19 Vaccine Mandates

Medical ethicists criticize doctors refusing to treat the unvaccinated

****************************************************

Dominion’s $1.6 Billion Defamation Suit Against Fox News Can Move Forward, Judge Rules -- Judge Eric M. Davis said that "Fox continued to publish its allegations against Dominion" despite knowing its election fraud claims were "probably false."

Maybe Trump never faces any consequences for his lies, but anybody that repeats them will.

****************************************************

Man Lifts Sleeping Ex-Girlfriend’s Eyelids To Unlock Cellphone, Steals $24,000

Claim she saw what he was doing & didn't say anything.

****************************************************

‘I Have So Much Shame’: Rioter Who Bragged About Capitol ‘Infamy’ Sentenced To Prison

How much shame have you? ["I don't know, how much I gotta have to have my sentence reduced?"]

****************************************************

What do Jews believe about the afterlife?

Human beings, even Jews, find it unimaginably hard to imagine life (consciousness) ending without you being able to tell (that it's ended). Therefore just like everybody else, Jews will also imagine themselves sitting there (in the dark) thinking, "Did I just die!? Wow, dude!" [It's just human.]

****************************************************

Can the existence of God be proven?

Sure. Blow your head off & there you are.

****************************************************

Ten minutes of dishonest fury, presented to an audience of millions

This is what Fox News has devolved into.

****************************************************

It’s an open secret there’s no NATO plan for Ukraine. Why not just tell Putin?

Because Putin knows: Putin doesn't care about NATO. What pickpocket Putin wants is for Ukraine to fall back into Russia's pocket with as little bother as can be managed.

****************************************************

Democrats’ redistricting dilemma: Good government or ‘fight fire with fire’?

Whatever helps the Democrats lose ('fair & square' in their minds) they will do. Republicans always depend upon that.

****************************************************

120-million-year-old bird may have used long tongue to catch food -study

Sure: If he was 120 million years old he probably couldn't move around much.

****************************************************

Chinese tennis star says her allegations of sexual assault against former official were misunderstood

Sez that high communist party officials in China are of course obviously totally & completely incapable of being sexual predators. [What was she thinking!]

Peng Shuai tells paper she never wrote of being assaulted

Trump must be very jealous.

****************************************************

Michael Cohen Slams 'Stupid' Mark Meadows On MSNBC -- “Hey stupid, you put out a book,” Cohen said in a rather direct address to Meadows. He added that because of Meadows’ tell-all memoir, “The Chief’s Chief,” Jan. 6 investigators “now have the right to ask you about things” regarding the insurrection.

What a great piece of advice from a lawyer. And at no charge!

****************************************************

Sarah Palin’s anti-vax talk shows Republicans have become a death cult

Please do let me know if they need any Kool-Aid.

****************************************************

Miss Manners: My friend’s husband is learning English but swears a lot

Have him learn Hebrew instead: He might still swear a lot but you won't understand it.

****************************************************

Trump Says He Received COVID-19 Booster Shot, Gets Booed By Supporters

Trump then whispered: "You may boo, but I'm gonna live & a lot of you sonnababitches are gonna die!" Then he laughed maniacally at all the suckers. That they cheered.

****************************************************

Trump sues New York attorney general in attempt to halt inquiry into his company

Won't his allow the NY attorney general to seek discovery and testimony under oath from Trump himself?

****************************************************

The White House’s extraordinary, furious statement about Joe Manchin

Opinion: Manchin deals a devastating blow to Biden and to democracy

Now that Manchin has finally felled the Democratic agenda & stabbed Biden in the back could the Democrats please finally stop keeping the Department of the Environment from thoroughly investigating the Manchin family's coal mining concerns for polluting West Virginia to death? There really is no longer any excuse to protect this bastard.

Behind Manchin’s Opposition, a Long History of Fighting Climate Measures

Opinion: Manchin’s objections to Build Back Better make no political or policy sense

****************************************************

Trump tested positive for coronavirus before first debate with Biden, three former aides say -- Former White House chief of staff Mark Meadows revealed the previously undisclosed test in a new book. In addition to attending the debate, Trump participated in a number of other events after his positive diagnosis, potentially putting dozens of other people at risk.

For Trump, "other people," is what, say, "garden weeds" is for the rest of us.

Trump May Have Infected Gold Star Families, White House Staff, Others, Per His Former Chief

In defense of murderers: If Trump and the GOP leaders are murdering more Republicans than Democrats it is not because they have a thing against Republicans, or because they'd like to spare Democrats--Grow up! It's because they just find it so much easier to lay their hands on the poor little lambs: For God's sake, read how serial killers operate! Watch more crime shows! [from the best-selling How To Choose Your Marks by D. Trump]

Opinion: The Justice Department should unleash its wrath on Mark Meadows — and all other obstructionists

Opinion: Mark Meadows’s new effort to cover up Trump’s coup is ludicrous — and dangerous

Mark Meadows Did Not 'Properly' Turn Over Documents To National Archives

Trump White House records can be released in Jan. 6 probe pending Supreme Court review, appeals court rules

Election denier who circulated Jan. 6 PowerPoint says he met with Meadows at White House

Opinion: Mark Meadows’s coverup of Trump’s coup attempt is falling apart

The juicy Mark Meadows texts Liz Cheney just disclosed

Text messages to Meadows renew focus on Trump’s inaction during Jan. 6 attack

Meadows’ ‘Protect Pro Trump People’ Email May Explain Military Reluctance To Deploy Troops

'Blueprint For A Coup' Is Bared In House Panel's Report On Mark Meadows, Columnist Says

Opinion: Trump’s PowerPoint coup plotters were crackpots. We may not be so lucky next time.

All roads lead back to Mark Meadows. Says the Jan. 6 panel.

Lawmaker Begs Fox News Hosts To Tell People The Truth, Like In Their Texts To Meadows

Fox News hosts sey they certainly will, just as soon as they are fired from or quit Fox News.

On Jan. 6 itself, Trump’s allies understood that he was the catalyst

Opinion: The lawyer behind the Trump coup memo unmasks the absurdity of the coverup

Role as Trump’s gatekeeper puts Meadows in legal jeopardy — and at odds with Trump

Mark Meadows, Fox News and the increasingly brazen whitewashing of Jan. 6

A conservative group debunks Trump’s voter-fraud claims (yet again)

Donald Trump Defies Belief With New Spin On ‘We Fight Like Hell’ Speech From Jan. 6

What do we do now that we know just how far Trump was willing to go?

Opinion: A federal court has ruled that obstructing the electoral vote count is illegal. Trump should panic.

What crime might Trump have committed on Jan. 6? Liz Cheney points to one

Lead Capitol riot charge is constitutional, judges find

House Panel To ID Republican Lawmakers Newly Linked To Capitol Riot Turmoil

GOPers’ efforts to distance themselves from Jan. 6 face increasing scrutiny

Mitch McConnell is suddenly legitimizing the Jan. 6 committee. But why?

Long before embracing Trump’s false election claims, Rep. Scott Perry promoted groundless theories

First Amendment Doesn't Protect Lies To Fleece MAGA Backers: Ex-White House Ethics Lawyer

****************************************************

Manchin hits back at effort to ‘badger’ him, reinforcing Democrats’ gamble

Aww, forgive us for badgering you, Mister Manchin. Think of all the mothers in West Virginia who must watch their children going hungry because of you. But do forgive us for badgering you, Mister Manchin.

Manchin to kids in poverty: Let them eat cake

Manchin Shocked Fellow Senators With Private Claims About Biden Bill -- In private negotiations, Manchin questioned whether the poorest Americans would spend financial aid wisely.

****************************************************

A driver admitted to leaving a strip club drunk before killing a Broward cyclist, cops say

Now he'll drive more carefully the next time he gets drunk and his license is revoked; and more carefully still the next time if he kills somebody else. Usually it takes the killing of about three victims for someone to be finally put into prison so he doesn't keep killing people driving drunk. It's called justice for drunk drivers.

****************************************************

COVID-19 Scam: Man allegedly performed fake coronavirus tests on kids

Sez he can make more money from fake tests than from real one because naturally there's less overhead.

****************************************************

Trump asks Supreme Court to shield his White House files from congressional probe

Sez he has a lot of porn in there that could prove embarrassing to a lot of people in his White House.

****************************************************

Will Donald Trump Get Away With Inciting an Insurrection?

Certainly all his GOP co-conspirators are hoping he does--And doing everything in their power to see that he does [that they do].

Opinion: White supremacists are using an old playbook but so are the lawyers fighting them

****************************************************

Sen. Manchin Said Constituent Complained Of ‘Crackhead Daughter’ Wasting Child Tax Credit

So he naturally assumed that every mother in West Virginia who qualified for a child tax credit was a crackhead. Sure. Makes perfect logical sense (to Manchin).

****************************************************

Inside the nonstop pressure campaign by Trump allies to get election officials to revisit the 2020 vote

People who cannot imagine the heights to which their future steps can take them prefer to glance back down at their dead ones buried in the flat monument upon which they stand.

****************************************************

97-Year-Old World War II Vet Finally Gets High School Diploma

Sez he is a slow reader, a slow learner, slow talker, and that it took him a long time to walk to school and back.

****************************************************

Trump Ally Peter Navarro Says The Jan. 6 Coup Conspiracy Part Out Loud -- Both Bannon and Navarro have been subpoenaed by the House select committee to testify. Trump urged Navarro in a statement to ignore the summons, keep mum and “protect executive privilege” in the investigation by the “Communist Democrats.”

I'm sorry but, how is this not witness tampering?!? Maybe the lawyers at the DOJ are "asleep on dope."

A habitual criminal like Donald Trump will never stop committing crimes until the cops finally place him in jail (and even then they will have to monitor him 24/7 so he does not continue his life of crime from jail). Donald Trump has been a criminal all his entire adult life and even before then always managed to get his old man to bail him out of any trouble he might find himself in with the authorities--Trump will be a criminal until the day he dies: It is the only thing he knows. It is the only thing he has ever known. And jail is the only thing that will finally put a stop to his spree of crimes, the only thing that will safeguard society from his continued & unending criminal activities.

Will Donald Trump Get Away With Inciting an Insurrection?

Thompson says Jan. 6 committee focused on Trump’s hours of silence during attack, weighing criminal referrals

Head Of Watchdog Group Says Trump's D.C. Hotel Was 'Epicenter' Of Corruption

Adam Kinzinger Says Jan. 6 Committee Is Probing Whether Trump Committed A Crime

Sure, don't do the hard job (trying to find out if Trump even did anything that wasn't a crime).

Georgia Election Workers Sue Rudy Giuliani, OAN Over Election Fraud Claims

Rudy Giuliani and One America News sued by Georgia poll workers falsely accused of electoral fraud

Losses At Trump's Scottish Golf Courses Top An Astonishing $75 Million

I believe that's called Trump's Magic Touch.

Trump Golf Courses Claimed Nearly $4 Million In British Aid While He Was President

Opinion: Trump idolatry has undermined religious faith

Steve Bannon was deplatformed. An obscure media mogul keeps him on the air.

****************************************************

Opinion: The Supreme Court opened the door to legal vigilantism in Texas. California will use the same tool to save lives.

For the love of me, I will always be baffled why Democrats don't fashion more "What's Good For The Goose..." laws to promote their best agendas with the tools Republicans are everywhere creating to advance their worst ones.

Opinion: This Christmas, Republicans are giving themselves congressional seats for life

****************************************************

Why some people don't want a Covid-19 vaccine

They claim that a near-death suffocation on an ICU ventilation machine is a once-in-a-lifetime experience that won't become available anytime soon in the future. It's just something you simply shouldn't miss.

****************************************************

Opinion: Here’s why a criminal referral for Trump by the Jan. 6 committee is a bad idea

Because Trump revels being known as a criminal. He's likely to feature it in all his political ads. Trump believes that 'only suckers obey the law.' In fact, he might even claim he deserves a fourh Nobel Prize for it.

****************************************************

Your DNA Test Could Send a Relative to Jail

Lots of my relatives should have been jailed a lot time ago. Where do I send my DNA?

****************************************************

Professor unveils lickable TV screen

Sure, I can just see that working in my family: "Ok, everybody: Just one lick now!" ["That includes the dog!"]

****************************************************

Anger over mask rules, pandemic restrictions spurs GOP-led states to curb health officials’ power

Claim doctors don't know shit. So from now on in Republican-controlled states GOP politicians will operate on patients in hospitals with their pen knives. [That will be the new politically correct.]

****************************************************

Americans must rally against the real threat to our democracy: China -- Opinion by Hugh Hewitt

I'm thinking maybe a certain Hugh Hewitt guy might be a much greater threat to democracy than China (at least here in the U.S.).

****************************************************

Why So Many People Are Unhappy With Democracy

Because all the other people won't do as you say?

****************************************************

Why one school district dropped ‘Jingle Bells’ from curriculum

Because Republicans said that a single horse on an open sleigh promotes homosexuality among horses?

****************************************************

Trump asks Supreme Court to consider Jan. 6 chairman’s interview with Washington Post in bid to block records -- In the article, former federal prosecutor Randall D. Eliason warned that the committee’s focus on criminal referrals could also boost the claims of those resisting subpoenas that the lawmakers’ inquiry doesn't have a legislative purpose, but rather, is meant to uncover crimes.

Sez that members of congress are way too stupid to do two things at the same time. [The Jan.6 committee of course has the leeway to refer to the DOJ any crimes it may uncover. It is one of its duties, in fact.]

****************************************************

Home health care owner overcharged NC clients $1M for lavish shopping sprees, feds say

Clients claim that lavish shopping sprees shouldn't have cost that much.

****************************************************

This tree has stood for 500 years. Will it be sold for $17,500?

Now you know how trees feel when insects kill them just to make a living for themselves. [It's probably worth a lot more than just a quick $17,500 to a bug.] And, by the way, now you also know the real value of a man.

****************************************************

If You Like All The New Progressive Federal Judges, Thank Trump For Sabotaging Georgia

Trump is a cheat and a double-dealer: Of course he will never accept that he was beaten by an honest player.

****************************************************

Most evangelical objections to vaccines have nothing to do with Christianity

Makes perfect sense, as so few evangelicals today have anything to do with Jesus. Evangelism in these United States is mostly all about getting emotionally overwrought and voting Republican.

****************************************************

Secession might seem like the lesser of two evils. It’s also the less likely.

Well, let's hope that if it does happen, this time (unlike Lincoln) Biden picks General Grant from the start so the New Grant can grind the damn rebels down into the dust for their treason as quickly and inhumanly as possible.

****************************************************

Researchers fear growing COVID vaccine hesitancy in developing nations

People in developing nations understand that there are just too many people in the world at the present time and so they have selflessly decided to try to decrease the surplus population beginning with themselves & their friends & families. That's something to be commended, as Trump might say.

Republicans are shouting: "We're not getting vaccinated!" And Covid is softly coming back at them: "All right."

****************************************************

What Socrates can teach us about the art of civilized arguing

That if you try to engage in it other people are just gonna kill you. Yes. Hope the Democrats are paying attention to the lesson of Socrates. ["Tell people to 'treat others like they would like to be treated' and hope others never treat you like you treat them."]

****************************************************

France culls over 600,000 poultry in new bird flu outbreak

Chickens don't seem to mind: These dangerous bitches were all on death row anyways.

****************************************************

Words don’t last forever. That’s okay.

Their meaning is eternal: It's been around since we started grunting. And it will be around when we simply exchange mental algorithms back & forth. Smile at a newborn and see how quickly he understand it. Make a sad face at him and he will understand that too. But you will then have to stop his crying by showing him it's all right, and that he is loved no matter what. [That's how far back & deeply meaning goes.]

****************************************************

Do dreams mean anything? Why do I feel like I’m falling? Or wake up paralyzed? We asked experts.

1) make sure you don't live with a serial killer

****************************************************

Man accused in multiple fires taken into custody in Montgomery County

Sez he only set the fires because he was pretty sure he wasn't gonna get caught. [It's The Story of Law-Enforcement.]

****************************************************

6 Wounded After 65 Shots Fired On Busy Philadelphia Street

Police are searching for members of the Bad-Shots Society of Philadelphia as probable suspects.

****************************************************

Amazon's Alexa tells 10-year-old to touch a penny to a live socket

In Alexa's defense: She only wanted to establish how stupid the kid really was.

****************************************************

Coaches forced a teen to eat pizza against his religion, he says. Now he’s suing.

Did not know there was an anti-pizza religion. ["Yes, you can do anything you want except eat pizza."] "Nope. This is not the religion for me. Sorry."

****************************************************

South Korean Officials Warn That Cats Have Been Starting Fires By Turning On Stoves

Sez South Korean cat owners must start serving cats their meals on time... before the little kitties get so impatient that they start trying to cook their own meals themselves.

****************************************************

Why Nicolas Cage Doesn't Like Being Called An 'Actor'

Sez it brings back too many painful memories of when he was an obnoxious little kid and everybody kept telling him to, "Stop acting up!"

****************************************************

Capitol Officer Furious Over Mike Pence's Jan. 6 Comments After Police Saved His Life

Pence always was such a reprehensible ingrate! Ask Trump.

****************************************************

Rand Paul Inadvertently Tells The Truth About Republican Voter Fraud Claims -- The Kentucky senator's claim that Democrats "steal" elections via "legally valid" votes lays bare the GOP's belief that no election is legitimate if a Democrat wins.

Trump is like the card cheat at a poker table who has spent all night cheating his heart out and still loses to an honest player: Of course there's no way Trump the card cheat is ever going to be convinced he was beaten honestly.

The Ku Klux Klan Act of 1871 prohibits any attempt to limit voting. That makes only laws which expand voting legal in the United States. [Wake up, DOJ!]

Cheney: Trump Watched Jan. 6 Violence On TV, Ignored Pleas To Intervene

Chilling Trump Letter Calling For 'Seizure' Of Election Material Revealed In Log To Jan. 6 Probers

'Stop Listening To The Pillow Guy,' Trump Is No 'King,' Warns General

****************************************************

We’re living in the new Dark Ages — and it’s time to turn on the light

I like the metaphor of anti-maskers/anti-vaxers going around telling each other to, "Let’s go lick a rat,’ in the middle of a plague (!). Which is pretty much what they're really doing when they fight against masks & vaccines in the middle of a plague (!).

****************************************************

You know Betty White was beloved, but do you know why? Here are 7 clips to catch you up.

I think I do. Wasn't it because of all those tasty baking products she used to sell?

****************************************************

NY Attorney General Subpoenas Donald Trump, Ivanka Trump, Donald Trump Jr.

Sez he couldn't issue them parking tickets, so he went with his next best option. [The Trumps are fighting it never-the-less!]

****************************************************

Sweden prosecutes woman for recruiting son to fight in Syria

God bless my old Cuban mother! [I was one lucky bastard!]

****************************************************

Ben-Gurion University researchers teach goldfish to drive

Researchers are now trying to make cars that won't rust out when they're completely filled with water, or leak. [Not to mention windows you can roll down without the driver floating away into the street.]

****************************************************

Jan. 6 committee confirms Trump watched Capitol riot unfold on TV

Which was really peculiar for Trump because there was a cartoon playing on another channel.

Opinion: Two events set the stage for a showdown on democracy

Trump Was Just '5 Rudys Short' Of A Coup, Warns Conservative Website Column

Opinion: The Jan. 6 committee must consider Trump’s criminal liability

Opinion: The GOP’s grip on states is becoming a horror show. Some Democrats see a way out.

Opinion: Surprise: Democrats dodged a gerrymandering fiasco. A top analyst explains why.

****************************************************

Marcus Lamb, head of Daystar, a large Christian network that discouraged vaccines, dies after getting covid-19

"God moves in a mysterious way His wonders to perform..." --William Cowper

Founder Of Anti-Vaccine Christian TV Network Dies After COVID-19 Fight

"El que por su mano muere la muerte le sabe a gloria." [Death must taste of Heaven to those who care not to go on with their lives.] Then let those who value death over life pay the price! And let it be known to all who knew them and who loved them exactly how little they were loved back. [When someone chooses death it means none of the things of life or anyone... ever had much value or meaning for them: Their own death was what they loved the most!]

GOP Activist Who Opposed COVID-19 Vaccine Rules Dies After Virus Complications

Deputy District Attorney Who Opposed Vaccine Mandates Dies From COVID At 46 -- Kelly Ernby, a Republican who ran for California State Assembly in 2020, said "there’s nothing that matters more than our freedoms right now" at a rally last month.

The good news is that (exercising his freedom of choice) he's now decided not to hold any more rallies.

****************************************************

Prince Andrew’s Uncertain Legal Fate Casts Shadow on Britain’s Royals -- As Queen Elizabeth II prepares to mark 70 years on the throne, a sexual abuse case involving her son could mean more turmoil for the royal family.

Somebody should have told Andy that if you can't do the time you shouldn't do the crime: He was a big boy and he pretty well knew what he was doing. He went ahead & did it. Now the time has come to pay the piper.

****************************************************

UK Police Won’t Act Against Prince Andrew Over Abuse Claim

Say they can't charge him while he's still in office and will have to wait until he's no longer prince. [from the best-selling What's The Difference Between Democracy and Aristocracy?]

Peng Shuai reappears on China’s censored Internet amid silence over sexual assault claims

Instead of charging (or even investigating) the high-ranking communist party rapist, they silence and imprison the rape victim [from the best-selling What's The Difference Between Democracy and Communism?]

Another post-Soviet ‘ruler for life’ faces upheaval, as protests sweep Kazakhstan

And now you know why democracy is preferable. [from the best-selling What's The Difference Between Democracy and Autocracy]

My Book Was Censored in China. Now It’s Blacklisted — in Texas.

Democracy is unique in the world. Everything else you can lump in the cesspool of 'others' below it. [from the best-selling What's The Difference Between Democracy and The Republican Party?]

****************************************************

Dominion Hits Newsmax, OANN With $1.6 Billion Lawsuits Over Election Lies

Maybe it's me, but doesn't it seem as if Dominion and Smartmatic are the only ones actually really DOING anything about all the shameless lying the GOP lunatic fringe is doing?

Judge asks why Capitol rioters are paying just $1.5 million for attack, while U.S. taxpayers will pay more than $500 million

D.C. judges express frustration about possible leniency in Capitol riot cases

Seven Capitol Police officers sue Trump, right-wing groups over injuries from Jan. 6 riot

Another U.S. Capitol Police officer sues Trump for damages from Jan. 6

Federal judge in Michigan orders pro-Trump lawyers disciplined over lawsuit seeking to overturn 2020 election

House Jan. 6 committee asks telecom companies to retain phone records related to Capitol attack as it ramps up investigation

How to Stop Trump and Prevent Another Jan. 6

Mary Trump Guesses Why Donald Trump Ignored Ivanka's Pleas To Stop Capitol Riot

Trump Could Be Hit With 'Seditious Conspiracy' Charge, Former U.S. Prosecutor Says

Peter Navarro wants you to know they only intended to overthrow the government peacefully

****************************************************

McConnell Dismisses Notion That ‘Idiots’ Would Try To Overturn Election Results

I'm always fascinated by Mitch McConnell. It's as if he doesn't know that in a Trump dictatorship his is one of the first heads that's gonna roll! And very probably quite literally.

Trump Tried A Coup In Plain Sight — And Has, So Far, Gotten Away With It -- ... the two top Republican leaders in Congress, after initially criticizing Trump for causing the Capitol assault, have both dropped that message. Kentucky’s Mitch McConnell, the Senate Republican leader, despite excoriating Trump on the floor of the chamber, nevertheless voted to acquit him on the impeachment charges that could have banned him from federal office for the rest of his life. And House GOP leader Kevin McCarthy, of California, has gone even further, fully embracing Trump with a pilgrimage to his Palm Beach, Florida, social club just 22 days after pleading with him on the phone to call off his mob.

It's not as if in a Trump dictatorship Mitch is just gonna lose his job. No. He'll probably have to answer propped up charges for personal treason to The Dictator and have to forfeit all his properties, pay insurmountable fines, and have his family dishonored & worse, probably and even lose his life. But one thing is certain: Nobody will shed a tear for Mitch.

Violent Conflict Expert Envisions Right-Wing Dictatorship 'By 2030, If Not Sooner'

****************************************************

Biden calls Trump threat to democracy on anniversary of Capitol attack

Those who vainly hope that 'average Republicans' change their minds about Trump had better start remembering how 'average Germans' fought & were willing to die down to the last handful for Hitler in the last days of the Third Reich.

GOP officials in Arizona’s largest county affirm 2020 election was secure in rebuttal to Trump claims

How Many Celebrity Politicians Have To Ruin America Before Americans Stop Electing Them?

The FBI's Secret Weapon In The Capitol Attack Manhunt

America’s Most Urgent Threat Now Comes From Within

Opinion: The gears of justice can grind down the forces of insurrection

****************************************************

‘Groveling’ Ted Cruz Mocked After Extremely Awkward Tucker Carlson Interview

In Ted Cruz's defense: With very few exceptions practically ALL of today's Republicans are sniveling groveling worms.

Ted Cruz kisses Tucker Carlson’s feet, exposing the right's ugly underbelly

I think what Ted Cruz had on his lips after kissing Carlson he had to spit out pronto into the nearest toilet. But we'll just leave it at that.

Opinion: The GOP isn’t even trying to sound coherent anymore

****************************************************

Republicans To Filibuster Bill Averting Government Shutdown, Debt Default

Anything to bring the whole thing down on our heads. No reason: Just to see how it falls.

Opinion: McConnell has given Democrats the justification they need to kill the filibuster

Voting Rights Legislation Filibustered By Republicans For A Third Time

Voting Rights Activists Press Biden To Back Filibuster Changes For Major Election Bills

One More Voting Rights Filibuster Will Soon Cause A Final Showdown In The Senate

Opinion: Democrats have declared a voting-rights emergency — but where’s the urgency?

The anti-filibuster effort is winning

Manchin’s incorrect claim of a 232-year filibuster ‘tradition’

If Biden really wants to change voting rights in this country he must announce that the next time the Electoral Count takes place he has instructed VP Harris to declare the votes of states who closely vote for the Republican presidential candidate in the next election are void, their voting tallies siezed, and have those states do a do-over again & again until the Democratic candidate is declared the winner (exactly like the Trump Republicans wanted last election). Then he must declare martial law and arrest Republicans who object--unless Republican want to join Democrats in passing laws against such Trumpian outrages, of course. Nothing like bipartisanshipo. [sic.]

Go tell Manchin and Sinema that protecting democracy is more important than protecting the filibuster. They have a right to know. They probably know a lot about the filibuster [maybe, see above] but they certainly don't know that much about democracy.

Manchin, however, said Wednesday that he was supportive of the burgeoning bipartisan chatter about the Electoral Count Act.

For Joe Manchin, apparently 'bipartisanship' is anything the Republicans want.

****************************************************

Trump abruptly ends NPR interview after he is pressed on baseless election fraud claims

Every time Trump opens his mouth he tells you what a whopping moron he is. The only people who don't mind his being such a whopping moron are whopping morons like him. Unfortunately this says a lot more about a lot of people in this country than it does about Trump.

****************************************************

An Indiana GOP state senator said teachers ‘need to be impartial’ during lessons about Nazism and fascism

"Ooops, did I say that outloud?"

ADL Slams Indiana State Senator: ‘There’s Nothing Neutral About Nazism’

["Sorry."]

****************************************************

What is the Electoral Count Act, and why are people calling for it to be reformed as we near Jan. 6?

GOP floats tweaks to vote counting law targeted by Trump as Democrats make voting rights push -- Senate Majority Leader Charles E. Schumer (D-N.Y.) told reporters Tuesday that focusing solely on electoral vote counting procedures “makes no sense,” ... “If you’re going to rig the game, and then say, ‘Oh, we’ll count the rigged game accurately,’ what good is that?” he said. Republicans, he added, “want to now both rig the game and rig the count. But to just say we won’t rig the count but we’re going to rig the game makes no sense whatsoever.”

In seeking to banish the Electoral Vote Count the Republicans are now trying to set up a situation where they rig the election in the states at the same time they have eliminated any chance that the Congress could object to the rigging! If the Democrats don't fight this they're lost and our democracy with them.

Opinion: Biden explains why we cannot move on from Jan. 6

Opinion: Bipartisanship is out for Biden. It’s about time.

****************************************************

Passenger enters cockpit on American Airlines plane, delaying takeoff from Honduras to Miami

"I'm sorry, is this the men's room?"

****************************************************

Novak Djokovic apologizes for travel form error as Australia weighs whether to cancel his visa again

Is a celebrity allowed to kill others by infecting them with a deadly virus when ordinary folks are forbidden to do so?

GOP Activist Who Opposed COVID-19 Vaccine Rules Dies After Virus Complications -- Canon was known for her successful grassroots work to ban red light cameras in Arlington. More recently, she was outspoken against COVID-19 vaccine mandates and mask rules, and also promoted false claims that the 2020 election was rigged. In a November Facebook post, she celebrated that her employer had granted her a religious exemption from getting the COVID-19 vaccine, The Daily Beast reported.

I can't wrap my head around vaccination exemptions for celebrities, or 'religious exemptions' for that matter: Does this mean that, under the laws of this country, if one believes in God one is allowed to kill others simply because one believes in God?!? I thought government protected me from murderers and not just simply from murderers who are atheists. Because, if it comes down to it, I would be just as miffed about being murdered by a God-fearing man as I would be by a godless infidel.

Who gives such power of life & death to the church in this country (in which supposedly government is not allowed to make laws on religion)?!? Who gives such power of life & death to celebrities & other dangerous fools, like politicians!?! Only medical experts should be allowed to have the last word on medical matters! I don't want Donald Trump being asked how my operation should be performed, or even when or if. I need my doctor to have the only say on matters like that. I want the CDC to have the last word on vaccines, not my third-grade graduate neighbors (lots of'em copied Poindexter's paper).

Top Medical Group Slams Politicians For 'Inserting Themselves' Into Health Decisions

****************************************************

Mike Lindell Never Filed That Election Lawsuit But He Is Promoting The Hell Out Of His Pillows

Don't worry, Trump's followers will never get it through their thick heads they're being conned top to bottom (that's Lindell there). ["Shut up and buy a pillow!"]

Mike Lindell is bringing an imaginary knife to a gun fight

I predict Mike Lindell will end up blowing his brains out one day. It is inevitable.

Are you one of the 1 in 11 Americans Mike Lindell doesn’t want to arrest?

****************************************************

Russia planning potential sabotage operations in Ukraine, U.S. says

Incredible how some people just like to cause harm to others! [from the best-selling Why Criminals Like Putin Can't Stop Committing More Crimes And Just Enjoy Their Ill-Gotten Loot]

****************************************************

Hey, Virginia lawmakers, the Lincoln-Douglas debates did not involve Frederick Douglass

This I love.

Lincoln: I think we should free the slaves.

Frederick Douglass: Oh, I don't know about that...

****************************************************

Why everything is so expensive right now

Because it costs more. [Now you won't have to fund a 10-year study.]

****************************************************

OPINION: I Thought We’d All Have Teslas By Now

Me too. And I'm gonna be needing one to stay in when they finally succeed in evicting me from my apartment.

****************************************************

Lady Gaga Believes Her ‘House Of Gucci’ Character Sent Swarms Of Flies After Her

Or ... it might be that they didn't 'cure' the cowhide they used for her obscenely-expensive purse properly.

****************************************************

You’re done with it all. You head for the hills. What books do you bring?

Ah! So you've got a cabin in the hills, a full larder, electricity, TV and other amenities, & all the comforts of civilization--Those 'hills' are behind your mansion, aren't they?

****************************************************

Am I enabling my daughter who lives at home rent-free? Carolyn Hax readers give advice.

If she is spending more time in your home than in Kindergarten: Yes! Kick that lazy little lady out on her freeloading keister!

****************************************************

The backstory on Fauci’s ‘what a moron’ comment about a senator

"I'm sorry I let out that you're a moron, senator."

****************************************************

Four reasons you’re seeing empty store shelves

1) I left my eyeglasses home again

2) I'm at the store shelves store again

3) I fell asleep reading this article (again)

4) I bought out all they had in there (again)

****************************************************

As the U.S. and Russia debate Ukraine, it’s hard to see the wiggle room

Apparently Ukraine doesn't belong to the Ukrainians.

****************************************************

Megan Fox And Machine Gun Kelly Drank Each Other’s Blood & Are Now Engaged

They will now travel to Transylvania, where they will dig up some body to officiate at their wedding.

****************************************************

Opinion: The smoking gun that Liz Cheney is looking for on Trump comes into view -- Now note that Cheney has repeatedly suggested the committee is examining whether Trump, in refusing to talk down the mob, might have done so as part of a deliberate effort to obstruct Congress’ counting of electors.

Am I crazy or didn't Trump specifically and endlessly call upon Pence to throw a monkey wrench in that process?!? Doesn't that mean he was deliberately trying to obstruct Congress’ counting of electors?!? [Apparently not in politico-speech.]

How much proof does Congress need?

Answer: So much that when they finally decide to do nothing they have done a monstrous amount of talking about doing something.

Trump Tried A Coup In Plain Sight — And Has, So Far, Gotten Away With It

Garland: DOJ will hold those responsible for Jan. 6 riot accountable, whether they were present or committed other crimes

Talk. Talk. Talk. [Talk is cheap.] Charge Trump with that phone call to Georgia. It's recorded. What more proof you need. When you don't see Trump being charged even with that you know he ain't gonna be charged with nothing. [No wonder the American people don't wanna hear anymore about any of this.]

Opinion: A single district attorney in Georgia has the best case against Trump

Trump ‘needs to be in prison’ for Jan. 6 riot, says partner of fallen Capitol Police officer Brian Sicknick

Opinion: Polling on Jan. 6 shows the vast majority of Americans aren’t crazy

Of course Donald Trump bears primary blame for Jan. 6

Opinion: The false prophets who inspired the violence on Jan. 6

Opinion: Trump must have his day in court for his crimes on Jan. 6

Trump Gushed They're 'Fighting For Me' As He 'Gleefully' Watched Capitol Riot On TV: Ex-Aide

Rep. Mo Brooks Reportedly 'Cheered' Capitol Riot As Colleagues Feared For Their Lives

Mo Brooks urged a Jan. 6 crowd to ‘fight.’ Now his actions long before the insurrection face new scrutiny.

We now have the first seditious-conspiracy charges from Jan. 6. Here’s how historic that is.

****************************************************

Mitt Romney Says Joe Biden Is ‘Casting Doubt’ On Elections, Just Like Donald Trump

However, Mitt promises to start taking his meds again soon. After the midterm elections.

****************************************************

The rise of a pro-democracy media -- ... over the past year, an emboldened media has not only extensively covered the new radicalism of the GOP — its questioning of election results, targeting of election officials and push to ban discussions of race relations in schools — but increasingly described long-standing Republican tactics such as aggressive gerrymandering and support for voting restrictions as the dangers to democracy that they are.

Most media people are like all the other people out there: They can't seem to see anything good about democracy now because it might offend the GOP and others of their ilk; but when the dictatorship takes hold, they will certainly suddenly see plenty of things about democracy that are just pure evil. [See Cuba, China, Russia, et al]

Opinion: Democrats are missing a chance to make democracy a major issue

****************************************************

Republicans cheer decision on vaccine mandate; experts express concerns -- Missouri Attorney General Eric Schmitt, who led the group of states that challenged the requirement, called it “a big win for workers.”

Sez that now as many of'em as wanna die are finally at complete liberty to do so. Then he proposed raising a golden statue to the great Doctor Kevorkian. [Whom many in the GOP worship as a nobler/higher serial killer than they because Doctor Kevorkian only killed people who wanted to die, while infected Republicans will kill anybody close by, friend or foe.]

The GOP celebration of covid ignorance is an invitation to death

Nearly all teens needing intensive care for covid-19 were unvaccinated in study of 1,000 U.S. patients

****************************************************

Carolyn Hax: Should a parent limit son’s screen time to force him to play outside?

Sure: All children have to learn how to dodge the neighborhood child molester. Or not.

****************************************************

Russia Issues Subtle Threats More Far-Reaching Than a Ukraine Invasion

An outlaw is threatening the world with a crime-spree if it doesn't legitimize his ill-gotten loot. It will be interesting to see whether the world knuckles under to this criminal or stands up to him because I am of the opinion that there is no limits on a criminal who thinks he's winning: Putin will continue to increase his demands until he is stopped or is dead. He just does not know how else to live.

****************************************************

Why not lottery admissions for great high schools?

Well, I want to win the lottery, but I certainly don't want to go back to high school!

****************************************************

Michigan AG Asks Justice Department To Investigate Fake GOP State Electors

Republican criminals, following Trump's lead, had no qualms or worries about committing their crimes right out in the open for everyone to see. Let's see if that was the smart move, because I have me doubts about Trump's 'smarts.'

****************************************************

Kyrsten Sinema Faces Backlash From Arizona Democrats For Pro-Filibuster Stance

There is very little doubt that this is Sinema's last term in the senate. One wonders whether she doesn't realize this or is counting on it because she has some better offer.

****************************************************

Feeling bored makes you more likely to act sadistically - study

Maybe this is the reason why the push to succeed is so prevalent in human society. However...

It's time somebody said it: Seeking to succeed is a sickness, a form of mental illness. We are chimps, and it is our natural lifestyle to just enjoy hanging around, making friends, talking about our feelings & emotions, and listening to others talk about theirs (it is a selfish behavior which allows us to understand how level-headed we ourselves really are in relation to others).

The push to succeed is unhealthy not only to ourselves but also to society in general because most of the time we measure our success by how terribly we've run others over.

****************************************************

Opinion: On Jan. 6 anniversary, Republicans plumb new depths -- Republican lawmakers spent most of the next 364 days trying to erase any trace of the insurrection and Trump’s role in it. They opposed impeachment, they opposed an independent commission, they opposed (then sabotaged and boycotted) an investigative committee, and they embraced as gospel Trump’s “big lie” that the 2020 election was stolen.

In all the annals of American politics there has never been a more vile creep than Donald Trump. But without all his Republican enablers that's all Trump would be now: just a pitiful perv spewing his nonsense from the sidewalk's flowing sewers while drifting away from all hearing.

Federal Judge Appears Skeptical That Trump Can't Be Held Liable In Assault On Capitol

CNN Unearths Audio Of Kevin McCarthy Saying Trump Admitted Responsibility For Riot

****************************************************

16 Straight Hours Inside The Alternate Reality Of Pro-Trump TV Channel OAN

Right now the United States is weathering a deadly struggle for democracy between the human souls who yet wish to write their own destiny and the unconscionable forces of the GOP that are seeking to set up the usual doomed Latin American right-wing dictatorship. I am a Cuban: I was born there during the Batista dictatorship; and I know for a fact that such a dictatorship inspires the most noble of determination in decent people of good will to struggle against it. And not all the time do these sorts of noble struggles end up in a good end.

It did not end well in Cuba, where Fidel Castro hijacked the noble good fight and established a monstrous communist tyranny which still holds there to this day.

Republicans are naively unconscious of the fact that if they somehow manage to establish a Batista-style dictatorship in this country their countrymen of good will not go down quietly but will instead launch a deadly serious counterattack to regain the say over their own destiny: That noble good fight will and must win out eventually because you cannot forever hold in chains a great population like the one which peoples this vast and freedom-loving country. You can see the contempt Republicans have for the American people's love of freedom in John Eastman's infamous “coup memo,” where he 'blithely' writes that there would merely be “howls, of course, from Democrats” after Trump's unconscionable coup. But who doesn't understand, outside a few lunatics like Trump and Eastman, that the American people (and even lots of Republicans at that) will join the good noble fight to regain their say over their collective destiny?

As a Cuban I tell you to think again, because once the struggle against the dictator begins its ultimate destination will be utterly unpredictable. It is a once-in-a-lifetime miracle that the American people got as the military leader of its noble good fight a beloved (and heirless) George Washington whose officers respected his decision not to proclaim himself king: Don't count on such a miracle happening again! More usual than not it will turn out to be some just-as-terrible a dictator as the overthrown one, or perhaps an even worse one. Possibly some second Fidel Castro who, like Washington, will ride in on a white horse... but who (unlike old and weary of more struggles Washington) will be young and eager for more bloodshed still; and who will not hand the people back their destiny but keep it for himself and his family alone. Aim now your eyes at Cuba and (with the wisdom of the ages) see what might very well be the fate of your own children & their children's children if you do not stop at this moment the mad meritless foolishness of a few greedy men.

****************************************************

The Justice Dept. alleged Jan. 6 was a seditious conspiracy. Now will it investigate Trump? -- “We better be real careful that we don’t start taking political and emotional comments by public figures and try to turn them into the stuff of criminal prosecutions,” former federal prosecutor James Trusty said.

Typical Democrat pussyfooting. The Republicans will take any political and emotional comments by public figures and turn them into criminal prosecutions of their enemies the instant they can do so. And then the Democrats will cry, "Where did that come from?!" As they are led to the death chamber. This is why Democrats get no respect except from cartoon characters.

The rationale for law enforcement is that those on the side of the law must be as tough on the criminals as the criminals are on the law-abiding (because anything less than that is victory for the criminals). If the Democrats don't understand this then we must find some other group to save us from the GOP because the Democrats are just not up to it. Nobody wants a cop who will at most only appeal to the conscience of the criminals.

The GOP has no problem being completely unmoored from reality. -- The Biden administration’s poll numbers are lagging, and there are already rumblings of a tough midterm election for the Democratic Party. Part of the reason why is that the Democratic base is feeling abandoned by the people it elected. Instead of fighting fire with fire, Democratic politicians seem determined to let the GOP define the rules. Why should the party that doesn’t believe in anything beyond owning the libs and serving its donors set the parameters for politics and society?

Opinion: Trump’s Arizona project shows the dire threat to American democracy

Reconstruction-Era Law Could Keep Trump Off Presidential Ballot In 6 Southern States

****************************************************

Eric Trump Pleaded The Fifth More Than 500 Times In Deposition, Court Filing Says

Man! That's a lot of times to believe one had better remain quiet on the grounds if one opens one's mouth anything one says would be incriminating!

4 big points from the N.Y. attorney general’s Trump allegations

****************************************************

Biden Admits He Didn’t Anticipate ‘Stalwart’ GOP Opposition

Sez he's stupid, but hopes he won't he as stupid from here on out. Then he invited some GOP 'friends' over for a couple of beers.

****************************************************

In catering to selfish parents, Youngkin is failing Virginia’s kids

Virginia’s kids don't vote, selfish parents do.

****************************************************

The West can’t stand by as Putin tries to resurrect the ‘evil empire’

All he will be able to resurrect is The Evil Guy: Communism long ago sucked out the economic, moral, and psychological strengths of Russia. Today Russia is a sinking third world nation with an economy the size of Texas--with nuclear weapons, yes, but with a population which although FIVE times larger is beaten and bankrupt. Putin is the little squirt in the bar challenging every big boy to a fight because he's drunk with his own inferiority complex. Only China poses an economic threat to the US, and Xi is working hard as he can to bankrupt China as well. Let's be patient a while & trust in the magic of communism to destroy our enemies.

Putin aims beyond Ukraine. Checking him now is crucial.

Putin to Ukraine: ‘Marry Me or I’ll Kill You’

****************************************************

Fla. governor proposes special police agency to monitor elections

Or so begins the police state.

****************************************************

White House to distribute 400 million free N95 masks starting next week

What a waste of money! Just give one to Supreme Court Justice Gorsuch:

Neil Gorsuch Reportedly Refuses To Wear Mask In Court, Forcing Others To Call In

****************************************************

BlackRock’s Larry Fink tells fellow CEOs that businesses are not ‘climate police’

The most salient example yet of why it is urgent and necessary for the state to pass laws to protect its citizens from the rapacious, always incapable of self-control nature of big business. The greed of big business will run down to the last fish in the lake and the last tree in the forest if it is not checked by law.

****************************************************

Climate advocates call breaking up BBB a ‘mistake’ for the planet

Ha! Only for everyone who is not a Republican: Republicans are not affected by any of this because, lucky for them, they live in an alternate universe far, far away.

****************************************************

After Jan. 6 Panel Asks McCarthy for Interview, He Refuses to Cooperate

McCarthy sounds like a guilty man: They need to go after this bum as forcefully as they can.

Opinion: Subpoena Kevin McCarthy

Opinion: Kevin McCarthy’s coverup for Trump may be hiding knowledge of possible crimes

Washington Post Torches Kevin McCarthy: ‘Thrown In His Lot With Enemies Of Democracy’

RNC says it will keep GOP presidential candidates from participating in debates sponsored by long-standing commission

According to most law enforcement, lawyering up like that (before at least the appearance of cooperating with the authorities--the voters) is a telling admission from the git-go of guilt in some crime or other.

Thompson says some of the Jan. 6 protesters met with members of Congress

Georgia prosecutor requests special grand jury in probe of Trump’s efforts to overturn state’s election results

As Giuliani coordinated plan for Trump electoral votes in states Biden won, some electors balked

Jan. 6 Investigators Zeroing In On Apparent Plot To Hijack Election With Fake Electors

Giuliani Reportedly In Charge Of Fake Electors Who Filed Fake Certificates For Trump

Supreme Court, investigators force Trump and his children on the defensive on multiple fronts

Opinion: Courts hand Donald Trump loss after loss after loss

The multilayered effort to steal the election on Jan. 6, 2021

Executive Privilege Ruling Lands Steve Bannon, Mark Meadows In 'Deep Doo-Doo': Legal Expert

Georgia DA Asks For Special Grand Jury To Investigate Trump Election Interference

“If he gets charged in Georgia, he becomes a martyr,” said one Trump adviser

Do it! Do it! Martyr Trump!

Some Trump allies are cooperating with the Jan. 6 committee. Here’s what we know.

Opinion: The legal walls are closing in around Trump

****************************************************

‘Endemic’ Doesn’t Mean What You Think It Does

Oh? Then it's not that horrible stinking stuff that oozes out the back end of men?

****************************************************

Peter Navarro Claims He Saw ‘Nothing But Peaceful People’ On Insurrection Day

"Except," he went on to say, "Except for a couple of winged giraffes, several ballet bears, plus three unicorns he saw in the same passing clouds."

****************************************************

University Strips Michael Flynn, Rudy Giuliani Of Honorary Degrees

Sez it turns out they're just a couple of bums.

****************************************************

Martha Stewart Says She Broke It Off With Anthony Hopkins Over This Iconic Role

Martha: Is that you, Anthony? (Cradles her gun.)

Anthony: I'm over here, Martha.

Martha: I can't see you. (Shoots twice in one direction.)

Anthony: Now I'm here. (Martha shoots twice in a different direction.) You missed again, Martha. Now you only have two more bullets left. (Scream.)

****************************************************

Man Charged After Allegedly Showing His Ass On Flight, Refusing To Wear Mask

Guess it wasn't as sweet and beautiful an ass as he imagined it was.

****************************************************

100 Millionaires And Billionaires Sign Open Letter Pleading For Higher Taxes

What they should do is put their money where their mouths are and start contributing to Democrats running for office.

****************************************************

Truck Carrying 100 Monkeys Crashes, Some Escape

Don't worry: only a couple of the barrels broke.

****************************************************

Search for monkey missing after US motorway crash -- The monkey was being transported to a lab in Florida but escaped after the accident in Pennsylvania.

"I should've never let the monkey drive."

****************************************************

Why Manchin and Sinema waived the filibuster for the debt ceiling but won’t for voting rights

"Gotta keep them negroes outta the vot'n booth." [We know.]

McConnell waves off voting concerns, says Black people turn out as heavily as ‘Americans’

And now you know what Mitch thinks of black people (and why it's so easy for Republicans to be so comfortable keeping Black people from voting). Now it's just a matter of what country Republicans might be thinking of 'sending them back to' (all those illegals). [from the best-selling Us Americans and Dem Black People] That Jim Crow 2.0 crack was dead-on-the-money.

‘WOW!’: Stephen Colbert Stunned As McConnell Accidentally Says What He Means

McConnell Responds Defensively To Criticism Of His ‘African American’ Comment

Mitch claims that Republicans are working diligently at the voting booth to determine which Black person is really a citizen and which isn't. Sez no Blacks voting on his watch! Only Americans.

Opinion: Behind their big defeat, Democrats may have reached a turning point

On Voting Rights, Democrats Say They Had to Go Down Swinging

Opinion: Giving up on voting rights now would be unconscionable

****************************************************

Sinema’s censure is another ideological purity test poisoning U.S. politics -- Opinion by Henry Olsen

Her censure is for blocking voting rights, remember! On the other hand, the censuring of Gov. Doug Ducey, former senator Jeff Flake and Cindy McCain, the late senator John McCain’s widow by the Arizona Republican Party are for merely showing insufficient loyalty to former president Donald Trump, who by comparison makes Benedict Arnold seem like a patriot. So I suppose their censure ennoble U.S. politics?!?

Arizona Democratic Party votes to censure Sinema, citing filibuster vote

The Trailer: The other 2024 campaign: Democrats versus Kyrsten Sinema

****************************************************

Republicans are embarrassed to tell us what they are for

If Republicans are embarrassed to tell us what they are for then it most assuredly cannot be something noble, right or proper.

****************************************************

Critics Erupt When Tucker Carlson Compares Vaccines To Nazi Experiments On Jews

How can there be no laws the people can use to stop obcenities like FOX News from spewing nothing but vicious dangerous lies over the people's airways?!?

Newly revealed document: Trump considered confiscating 2020 election voting machines - Politico

I don't know why FOX News isn't closed down (the First Amendment does not give anyone a right to put people's lives at risk). But if the only way to do it is the way Dominion Voting Systems and Smartmatic, and individual Americans are doing it (by suing them for each one of their destructive lies) then the government and especially the CDC (and Pfizer, Moderna, and all the others) should also start getting into the business of suing FOX News over each and every lie they continue to push--whether over vaccines or anything else.

Georgia prosecutor granted special grand jury in probe of Trump’s efforts to overturn state’s election results

****************************************************

Biden should resist the calls for war with Russia

You mean as long as Russia is not at war with us, don't you? Because modern history is replete with instances where wars were being waged against the West even as the West was certain that it was still at peace with their attacking enemies.

****************************************************

On sanctions against Russia, the West’s best policy is to keep its powder dry

This means: Do not store your bullets in the lake; store them only by the side of the lake.

****************************************************

World’s Most Powerful Space Telescope Arrives At Observation Post 1 Million Miles Away

Scientist say that from there they will be legally able to watch women taking showers in their homes.

****************************************************

Peter Dinklage Rips Disney For ‘Snow White’ Remake: ‘What The F**k Are You Doing?!?’

Sez Whoopi Goldberg doesn't work well with dwarfs.

****************************************************

Why Is North Korea Suddenly Launching So Many Missiles?

Probably running low on storage room?

****************************************************

We Might Be in a Simulation. How Much Should That Worry Us?

Not at all: Nobody would put you in a simulation and wait while you sat in your doctor's office for two solid hours. So, no, we are not in some simulation.

****************************************************

Meet Methuselah, The Oldest Living Aquarium Fish

The real mystery is how they knew he was going to end up as the oldest fish when they baptized him Methuselah.

****************************************************

Boston Hospital Denies Heart Transplant To Patient Who Refuses COVID-19 Vaccine

Sure. What's the point when there are other patients with a higher chance of survival.

****************************************************

Spotify Seemingly Sides With Joe Rogan In Standoff With Neil Young

Actually, they sided with the money. The guys were of no consequence: They would have sided wih Hitler if that's where the money was.

****************************************************

Schoolgirl's message in bottle found after 25 years

If she had just written a letter the post office would have probably delived it days earlier.

****************************************************

Ukraine's front line: Where lives turn on distant decisions

Just be careful Putin doesn't stage a chemical attack in Ukraine: The best defense is to be prepared now for his doing it and then blaming the Ukrainians.

****************************************************

New Justice Will Have Little Power Over Supreme Court’s Rightward Lurch

What Biden needs to do right now is nominate four black women to the Supreme Court and push for the Democrats to confirm all four of them. This will signal to the country that the Democrats are no pushovers.

Republicans Have No Clear Agenda. They Might Win Control Of Congress Anyway.

Democrats make surprising inroads in redistricting fight

Democrats, Want to Defend Democracy? Embrace What Is Possible.

****************************************************

The 59 Republicans Who Joined Electoral Voter Fraud Scheme For Trump Could Face Prison -- The White House’s plan for those “alternate” slates nevertheless was made clear in a memo by lawyer John Eastman, who presented it to Trump himself in the Oval Office. Because some states had “competing” slates of electors, Vice President Mike Pence could simply not count either set and leave those states out of the total entirely. “There are at this point 232 votes for Trump, 222 votes for Biden. Pence then gavels President Trump as re-elected,” Eastman wrote.

The alternate electors scheme was not theoretical but put into actual practice by Trump & his mob of criminals; it was as practical as showing up at a bank with guns blazing: That's not some theoretical dream but a real honest-to-goodness bank robbery. And Trump's alternate electors scheme was a real fraud fully carried out in actual practice by Trump's guns-blazing mob of criminal schemers.

The 59 Republicans Who Joined Electoral Voter Fraud Scheme For Trump Could Face Prison -- Trump’s tweets in that period suggest that he, too, was fully aware of the alternate slate scheme as he repeatedly urged Pence to abuse his authority as presiding officer during the certification ceremony.

The 59 Republicans Who Joined Electoral Voter Fraud Scheme For Trump Could Face Prison -- "Deputy U.S. Attorney General Lisa Monaco on Tuesday confirmed to CNN that Justice Department prosecutors “are looking at those” but would not comment further."

DO NOT trust the DOJ to prosecute high-ranking politicians (the GOP criminals in this case): The DOJ lawyers are scared of them as they plan for life after their DOJ time.

The 59 Republicans Who Joined Electoral Voter Fraud Scheme For Trump Could Face Prison -- Glenn Kirschner, a former federal prosecutor, said the potential federal crimes include forgery, obstruction of an official proceeding, conspiracy to commit fraud and, because the material was sent to its recipients via the Postal Service, mail fraud. The more serious of the offenses carry prison terms as long as 20 years. “That’s not an exhaustive list,” he said, adding that the potential penalties could help prosecutors get some of those involved to provide information as to how the scheme came together and implicate those planners. “They are far more likely to cooperate if the DOJ leveraged them…. These folks should all be charged yesterday.”

Opinion: What would a 2024 Trump coup look like? A new paper offers a worrying answer.

Federal prosecutors examine slates that offered Trump electoral votes in states Biden won in 2020

****************************************************

Books, speeches, hats: The Trumps try to make money the pre-presidency way

Just make sure that if you buy one of their turds it comes with a certificate of authenticity stuck to it. Don't just trust your nose.

****************************************************

40-year-old odyssey uncovers original ‘Home of God’ at Mount Ebal

God moved?! Do they know the name of His moving company? That's gotta be a good company.

****************************************************

Vladimir Putin does not think like we do

Psychopaths do not think the way most people do, no. But Trump seems to see eye-to-eye with Putin, though.

****************************************************

I Tracked Down The Girls Who Bullied Me As A Kid. Here’s What They Had To Say.

"Oh my God! Let it go, girl: That was 50 years ago! All kids get bullied."

****************************************************

Why Is My Boyfriend’s Skin Better Than Mine?

Because he's 18 and you are 65?

****************************************************

GOP Gov Flashes His Dog’s ‘Hiney’ To Take Dig At Bette Midler During Major Speech

Dog doesn't mind, sez the Gov's done a lot worse with it.

****************************************************

Pastor Tony Evans leads his flock toward danger with anti-vaccine rhetoric

In Pastor Tony Evans's defense: What witchdoctor you know ever advocated for science & enlightenment?!?

****************************************************

Ukraine leader’s message is don’t panic. That’s making the West antsy.

It's also making Putin pretty sure that the Ukraine is not prepared for this war. And, frankly, I don't think it might be such a good idea to be encouraging Putin at this time.

****************************************************

Committee investigating Jan. 6 attack issues subpoenas to 14 bogus Trump electors in states Biden won

Wonder why these dweebs didn't declare themselves general-of-the-Army or Emperor of Alaska: They had as much proof they qualified for those posts as for alternate electors.

****************************************************

Mike Pence, this is your moment to rebuke Trump

"Mike Pence is not available at his time: He is hiding under his bed. Please don't call again later."

****************************************************

Trump Ridiculed For Stunning Admission About What He Wanted From Pence On Jan. 6

This is the reason none of Trump's lawyers want his poor bastard to sit under oath for any deposition: Trump just can't wait to confess. Trump has a psychological uncontrollable urge to tell everyone every single last detail of every one of his crimes. I don't know why exactly because I'm not his head shrinker (and it's possible that Trump's is a unique mental illness no one else in this world suffers from), but everybody in his circle knows it --famously, including the producers of The Apprentice, who used to edit & re-edit his on-air bits to take out his moronic self-owns.

Trump makes the coup-deniers look silly again

Trump suggests that if he is reelected, he will pardon Jan. 6 Capitol rioters

'Inappropriate': Republicans Break From Trump's Pledge To Pardon Jan. 6 Rioters

Georgia prosecutor asks FBI for security assistance following Trump comments at Texas rally

****************************************************

Joe Rogan Shares Incorrect Coronavirus Story Just 24 Hours After Apology

Joe Rogan is like a baby driving a car: He drives around & kills two or three people and apologizes. "I admit I gotta learn how to drive better." Sure. But then he takes off & kills 5 or 6 more people. Get this baby out from behind that wheel! As long as he's driving he's gonna be out there killing people. Put him where he won't hurt anyone. See how Rogan does announcing winners at a dog show. As long as he's not allowed to make any comments, of course.

****************************************************

Some records sent to Jan. 6 committee were torn up, taped back together — mirroring a Trump habit

Crime after crime after crime after crime: Will any amount of them ever force law enforcement in this country to arrest Donald Trump? Crime after crime after crime after crime: When will law enforcement in this country stop this criminal?

****************************************************

A new device helps frogs regrow working legs after an amputation

Now the hard part: Trying to get the insurance industry to pay for the procedure.

****************************************************

How the falsehood of athletes dying from coronavirus vaccines spread

Obviously, if it's a lie, then somebody in Trump's circle (or Trump himself) is responsible.

****************************************************

Carolyn Hax: Surprise! Pregnancy delights her, but rattles her husband and son

Sure: Now she can lie back on her bed like a beached whale while they clean the house.

****************************************************

The latest in covid dining etiquette? South Korea’s new nose-only mask.

Although it's hard to judge how this might translate to eating here as eating in South Korea, there you CAN use a chopstick to push a sliding mask back into your nostril as you eat.

****************************************************

Miss Manners: I’m mad that our guest plans to give leftovers to their dog

"That dog of theirs has already written two very critical Facebook entries about my entries!"

****************************************************

Rep. Madison Cawthorn Says He Talks Almost Daily To Trump, Who’s ‘Like A Father’

Trump said that he's pretty sure he's younger than Cawthorn.

****************************************************

Whoopi Goldberg Says She Regrets Saying Holocaust Wasn’t About Race

Sez she is now starting to suspect that Adolph Hitler might have been a racist after all.

****************************************************

Ask Amy: Should I tell my sister her daughter is engaged?

Only if she is engaged to your son.

****************************************************

Airing 2020 election grievances, Trump appears in first TV ad for Georgia gubernatorial hopeful David Perdue

Did they leave 'in' his opening, "Hello, morons," or did they edit that out?

****************************************************

Trump says Congress should probe why Pence didn’t reject electoral college results

Yes. Congress should definitely investigate why overthrowing the government is illegal.

Trump Had Role in Weighing Proposals to Seize Voting Machines

Opinion: New details about Trump’s threat toward voting machines show danger ahead

Alexander Vindman Sues Trump, Alleging Witness Intimidation, Retaliation

****************************************************

Sen. Lindsey Graham Mercilessly Mocked After Trump Turns On Him

A nickel that Lindsey Graham has already purchased his ticket to Mar-a-Lago.

****************************************************

White House says Sen. Josh Hawley is ‘parroting Russian talking points’

Tell me who you're with and I'll tell you who you are: That's who Josh Hawley is.

****************************************************

External energy source may explain ‘Havana syndrome’

Putin's your man. It's in his nature to do harm to others and create pointless destruction just for his own sick amusement.

****************************************************

So, You Think The Republican Party No Longer Represents The People

No, I said 'good people.'

****************************************************

Neil Young and Liz Cheney, Thanks for Sticking Your Necks Out

Indeed, with all the decent and honorable people in the Democratic Party, who would have guessed that it would be two or three people in the Republican party who would be the most daring and brave!

****************************************************

Ohio Family Sues After Wrong Sperm Used During Fertilization Procedure -- Since then, our lives will never be the same,” Jessica Harvey Galloway told reporters after learning her dad was not actually her biological father.

Same thing happened with my dog. You have no idea how much I had to reassure him that he was just as loved as if he were a blood relative when he found out he wasn't!

****************************************************

Whoopi Goldberg Suspended From ‘The View’ Over Holocaust Comments

If you talk long enough you must eventually confess all your prejudices (except for Donald Trump who only needs to open his mouth once).

****************************************************

Rep. Jim Jordan Admits To Sending One Of The Texts Revealed By Jan. 6 Committee

Makes sense: Jim Jordan has always looked like the hoodlum in the gang most likely to crack first & finger everyone just as soon as the cops bring him in.

Democratic Congressman Rips 'Traitor' Jim Jordan Over Jan. 5 Text: 'Why Is Anybody Surprised?'

Jim Jordan Spoke To Trump For 10 Minutes Before Capitol Riot: Report

****************************************************

The Commanders name lands ‘with a thud’ for some Washington fans

Some would have preferred The Second Lieutenants.

****************************************************

Relax, the coup people weren’t very good at it

Don't relax: People learn from their mistakes. And the nation's prisons are the largest university of how to do crimes better (the next time).

****************************************************

Brussels police find tarantulas, scorpions during drug raid

Does not say where the tarantulas and scorpions got the money to buy the drugs. [No, 'tarantulas' and 'scorpions' are not the street names for adult film stars.]

****************************************************

Republicans aren't done trying to make it harder to vote

In Republicans' defense: Republicans are not trying to make it harder to vote; Republicans are only trying to make it harder for 'certain people' to vote.

****************************************************

Trump Reportedly ‘Never Stopped Ripping’ Up White House Documents And Breaking The Law

Sir, Donald Trump will still be breaking the law after he's been in prison for years. [That's why once in it's a sure bet that he will never get out outside of a presidential pardon from a pal.]

****************************************************

‘Taking the Voters Out of the Equation’: How the Parties Are Killing Competition

It's the oldest political adage of all: "It is much safer to elect yourself than to try to get others to elect you." I think it even precedes democracy.

****************************************************

A party that censures its Constitution defenders has lost its way

Oh, don't be so timid, for God's Sake! The Republicans have become the party of traitors and the defenders of criminals, crooks & lawbreakers.

ALL IN: GOP RACES FURTHER TO BOTTOM WITH TRUMP

But the truth is hard to face and even more difficult to articulate: All these elected GOP politicos are merely a mirror of their voters. If Republican voters weren't the scum they are their elected party officials would not be so afraid to be decent, law-abiding patriots.

New Jan. 6 Footage Shows Rioter Threatening To ‘Cut Their Head Off’ -- The video was released hours after the GOP said Capitol rioters were engaging in "legitimate political discourse."

Conservative National Review Calls GOP ‘Morally Repellent’ For Latest Jan. 6 Response

'Sad Day': Meager Handful Of Republicans Criticize GOP For Liz Cheney, Adam Kinzinger Censure

****************************************************

Why Does the Demolition of a Marcel Breuer House Matter?

Because you're Marcel Breuer?

****************************************************

House Jan. 6 Committee Wants To Find Out What Ivanka Trump Knows

Where the priciest pumps are sold?

****************************************************

Republicans Claim Democrats Will Try To Overturn The Next Election

"Rats," said Sen. Schumer to that: "Now we'll have to do it even more subtly still!"

Opinion: The RNC turns into an Orwellian horror show

Opinion: The GOP has become the Jan. 6 Party. It stands for insurrection and authoritarianism.

Opinion: New revelations about Trump’s past lawlessness preview a disturbing future

Opinion: The GOP’s gerrymandering scheme backfires

****************************************************

The Rock Ditches His Support For Joe Rogan After N-Word Clips

Not because The Rock suddenly became a wise and upstanding supporter of knowledge & science and now understands the monstrous mayhem that vaccine misinformation wreaks upon society, mind you, but just because The Rock just happens to be black. If Joe Rogan hadn't been bandying about the N-Word then The Rock would have been just as happy to remain Rogan's willful partner in stupidity, barbarity, and inhumanity. [I guess sometimes in some instances racism can be a pretty good thing in some people.]

****************************************************

National Archives had to retrieve Trump White House records from Mar-a-Lago -- The Presidential Records Act operates on the basis of a “gentlemen’s agreement,” as one Archives official phrased it.

Upon hearing which Trump fell back laughing so hard that only his legs were left visible sticking up over his desk.

I haven't stolen a thing since I was a toddler. I once stopped at a solitary stop sign out in the middle of the Everglades. And, frankly, I don't refrain from breaking the law because there are severe punishments for breaking the law. I seriously doubt that there are many people who, like me, don't merely obey the law simply because it's what's collectively best for us all--Even if there were not a single law at all, most of us would still continue to do the right thing because it is the single most important sign of our personal allegiance to & ownership of society: We are society (and I am included in that 'we'). To obey the norms, rules & laws of society simply because we demand it of ourselves is a much higher calling than to obey them because we are made to obey them: The former makes us masters of ourselves (of society) while the former merely makes us the slaves.

Scoop: Boxes of presidential records found at Trump's Florida resort

****************************************************

Bannon Ominously Warns Pence He’ll Take Refusal To Toss 2020 Vote ‘To Your Grave’

Sorry to say it, because I think Pence is no hero at all in this affair, but I believe that Pence will go down in American history as a kind of hero. And mostly all having to do wth attacks like Bannon's.

This was the week when Trump revealed all

Pence gives bombshell speech that Trump was ‘wrong.’ But now comes the hard part | Editorial

Mike Pence Gets Bluntest Of Reality Checks About Donald Trump And His Base

The significance of Pence’s rebuke of Trump

Memo circulated among Trump allies advocated using NSA data in attempt to prove stolen election

Which parts of the sprawling effort to steal the presidency bear Trump’s fingerprints?

Adam Schiff Explains Why Trump’s Pardon Promise Is ‘Very Important Evidence’

Chris Christie: Trump Incited Jan. 6 Capitol Riot To 'Intimidate' Pence, Congress

Conservative Pundit Warns Just How Unhinged A Second Donald Trump Presidency Could Be

‘He never stopped ripping things up’: Inside Trump’s relentless document destruction habits

Capitol Riot Defendant Seeks Subpoena For Trump, Says He 'Directed' Him To Storm Capitol

Does Trump own a Bronco? I would love to see a slow chase with Trump holding a gun to his head and Bannon calling in to the cops: "This is Stephen K. Bannon and I'm here with former president Donald J. Trump! He's got a gun and wants a plane to take him to Russia! Stephen K. Bannon! Stephen K. Bannon! You know who this is, you sonnabitches!"

Ex-RNC Chair Literally Chews Out Trump Over Toilet-Clogging Bombshell

Opinion: Yes or no on Mueller report criminal charges? Don’t let Trump just run out the clock.

Republicans are not lining up to defend Trump’s Jan. 6 argument

Trump's Offer Of Jan. 6 Pardons Sure 'Sounds Like' Obstruction Of Justice, Says John Dean

Lawyer Paid By RNC Was Among Those Engaged In ‘Legitimate Political Discourse’

Opinion: Documents weren’t the only things Trump tore up while in office

Phone, email records for lawyer of Bannon, Giuliani sought by Justice Dept.

Giuliani asked Michigan prosecutor to give voting machines to Trump team

Rudy Giuliani gets caught in another lie — at a supermarket

Opinion: There Republicans go again, siding with thugs

Herschel Walker Once Talked About Having A Shoot-Out With Police: Report

In defense of Herschel Walker: That sound like he's 100% into the GOP's mindset of death & destruction, chaos & ruin. Trump's bound to support him.

****************************************************

Mitch McConnell Rebukes RNC Over Censures Of Liz Cheney And Adam Kinzinger

Tell Mitch McConnell to shut up and live with what he himself helped to give birth to all those years ago. Now he suddenly wants us to think he's the good guy?! For Heaven's Sakes!

Almost half of Republicans say Trump bears no blame for Jan. 6 — and that he likely won in 2020

Mitch McConnell and his gang of GOP malefactors could easily reverse the monstrosity above. But they still choose not to, even when there's a very good sign that it will eat them alive too:

Trump attacks McConnell after he criticizes RNC censure of two House Republicans probing Jan. 6 insurrection

Bank robbers will always pick fighting to death over the stolen loot rather than just get an honest job.

****************************************************

Bank CEO sentenced for steering $16 million in loans with hopes of getting a cushy Trump administration job

Another one bites the dust. His name signed with blood in Donald Trump's Book of Mockery.

****************************************************

Trump tells Joe Rogan to ‘stop apologizing’ for Spotify controversies

Sez Trump that whenever he uses the n-word he immediately doubles down and uses the double-n-word on top of it.

Ron DeSantis: Joe Rogan 'Shouldn't Have Apologized' For Slurs

Ha! Too late. Trump beat you to being the top racist.

****************************************************

Nun who stole $835,000 from school to fund her gambling habit is going to prison: ‘I have sinned’

Sez she could still get even if she could only get her hands on just another hundred thousand or so. "Anyone?"

****************************************************

Russia sends warships toward Black Sea as Europe ramps up Ukraine crisis diplomacy -- U.S. and European officials worry that Russian military exercises scheduled to start Thursday could provide cover for a sudden strike against Ukraine.

Well, the European 'leaders' could all get together with Biden in Germany and throw a "friends' party" in the City of Worms. They could then call it "The Party of Worms" without having to honor Hitler's infamous assessment of Western leaders after his meeting with Chamberlain in Berchtesgaden.

****************************************************

Man Arrested For Storming The Capitol While Out On Bail For Attempted Murder

Frankly, like your average Republican activist, I would have guessed it was not against the law to storm the Capitol while out on bail for attempted murder. Wouldn't you.

****************************************************

Trump Denies White House Toilets Were ‘Periodically’ Clogged With Torn-Up Papers

Sez he was clogging those toilets only with his own exuberance.

****************************************************

Kristen Bell Said Her Family Farts So Much They Didn’t Smell Rot In Their Home

What that family has to do is stop eating so much cabbage, for Heaven's Sakes!

****************************************************

Ex-Trump adviser Stephen Miller falsely claims states are rationing covid treatments by race

Yes: That sounds like something he'd say.

****************************************************

National Archives asks Justice Dept. to investigate Trump’s handling of White House records

Why The Democratic Right To Vote Is An American Myth

The United States is a Good Ole Boys' Network, not a democracy (as it's advertised) and the proof is that even a Biden administration is refusing to prosecute an outrageously self-evident criminal like Donald Trump. If the US were not a Good Ole Boys' Network we would at the least see Biden call up Merrick and ask him why the DOJ isn't [rabbit ears quotes] prosecuting [rabbit ears quotes] Donald Trump. Then Merrick would tell him, "Oh, Mister President, we're comprehensibly [rabbit ears quotes] investigating [rabbit ears quotes] Trump even as we speak." And then they would both laugh their heads off (maybe even have Donald listening in on their phone call). But you're not ever even going to see this much. Biden isn't even going to take his son to the woodshed for making millions off his non-elected association with the presidency, so why should he pursue Trump for stealing a few millions here & there himself. Which is why all those Republican voters keep backing Trump: Because they know Biden is just as big a crook as is Trump--so why not!

Some Trump records taken to Mar-a-Lago clearly marked as classified, including documents at ‘top secret’ level

****************************************************

Doctors said stress was causing her symptoms. Then they pulled out a volleyball-size tumor.

Doctors are no different from anyone else: incapable of just admitting that they simply don't know. And so they attribute causes for your sickness to quirks like that one above. It's a human failing which unfortunately sometimes can cause death.

****************************************************

Tire Finally Removed From Crocodile’s Neck After 6 Years

Next up: Retrieving that clock from the croc that stalking poor Captain Hook.

****************************************************

A weakened Trump? As some voters edge away, he battles parts of the Republican Party he once ran.

Opinion: High-profile GOP governors are losing popularity. Democrats should take note.

Election Board Says It Can Bar Rep. Cawthorn's Candidacy If He Violated Constitution

That's weird: A Republican violating the Constitution might be termed an illegal act?!

Ex-Prosecutor Names Federal Law That Could Block Trump From White House Return -- 18 U.S. Code § 2071, which prohibits concealing, removing or mutilating official records. -- “Not only is that a 3-year federal felony, but importantly anybody who is convicted under that statute is prohibited from holding federal office,” he said.

Jan. 6 Committee Focuses On Trump Scheme To Solicit Slates Of Fake Electors

****************************************************

How to break up with your hairdresser, therapist and more

Hairdresser, dentist, or cosmetic surgeon: NEVER while still in the middle of any 'procedure.'

****************************************************

Science, not politics, should dictate school mask mandates

And principles of right & wrong should dictate how people behave, not 'how big a cut will I get if I do this?' But we're talking people here, not good people.

****************************************************

Scientists name newly discovered flatworm after covid-19

Donald Trump immediately protested that it should have been named after him. And this time a lot of his critics agreed.

****************************************************

Texas counties reject unprecedented numbers of mail ballots before primary under restrictive new law

Perhaps not coincidentally the Texan GOP is confident of a sweep at the polls.

Opinion: Republicans who voted to impeach Trump might be in less peril than people think

****************************************************

With war looming, it's not the time to settle scores with Trump -- Opinion by Hugh Hewitt

Yesterday it was because of inflation and before that it was because some truckers were blocking a bridge in Canada. If you're not careful these bums are going to say Trump should walk because of the pandemic he himself caused here!

Opinion: The Justice Department has yet another Trump misdeed on its plate -- Trump’s presidency was a veritable law school exam testing a student’s ability to identify the slew of potential crimes and injuries to our democratic norms, from Trump’s financial corruption in receiving foreign emoluments to his obstruction of the Russia investigation to his extortion of Ukraine.

Accounting Firm Cuts Ties With Trump and Retracts Financial Statements

You know what they say: What you don't give to the needy God takes from you in taxes and stock market declines. [And unexpected medical bills, bilks, frauds & swindles, and law enforcement investigations...]

Trump’s longtime accountant says his financial statements cannot be relied upon

George Conway: Accounting Firm's Move Is Worse For Trump Than Being Impeached Twice

Twitter Critics Mock Trump's Ex-Accounting Firm For Taking A Decade To Finally Get A Clue Suddenly Trump "is unreliable? Please."

****************************************************

Australia urges China to denounce Russia over Ukraine

China sez it can't do that because then Russia might denounce it over Taiwan. [Birds of a feather fuck together.]

****************************************************

Here’s What I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Racked Up $180,000 In Student Loan Debt

That the class you should have taken was: How To Marry A Millionaire.

****************************************************

Russian media reporting 'thwarted terror attack' in Donbas

Russia claims it found mass graves in Ukraine

Lord, what sons-of-bitches Russians be!

Kremlin critic Navalny stands new trial in prison

****************************************************

Meet Worldle, the geography guessing game its creator calls a ‘tribute’ to Wordle

Wordle, on the other hand, will probably call it 'intellectualy property theft' and sue.

****************************************************

Miss Manners: What’s the etiquette for ending an online customer service chat?

"So long. And may God bless."

****************************************************

‘My wife says I’m getting weird’: Man offers free pancakes to make friends

As long as he doesn't start making his clothes out of the left-over ones I think he'll be ok.

"I am not shoting cats & dogs. I am helping to nurture and help conserve vultures." [That's not ok.]

****************************************************

My boyfriend is 26 and his dad still handles his finances. Carolyn Hax readers give advice.

Marry him! "A fool and his money are soon parted." But a fool who knows he shouldn't be handling his own money is no fool.

****************************************************

Brazil’s Bolsonaro embraced the U.S. under Trump. Now he’s in ‘solidarity’ with Russia.

Well, it's nice to see at least one world leader who doesn't willy-nilly shift alliances.

Opinion: As he threatens Ukraine, Putin fights a second battle at home

****************************************************

Hillary Clinton Shows Failsafe Way To Know Trump, Fox News Are Lying

They've said something.

****************************************************

GOP Politician’s ‘Jesus Guns Babies’ Slogan Has Twitter Firing Off Jokes

Typical GOP self-evident stupid lies: There were no guns at the time of Jesus. 'Jesus Drop-kicks Babies' would at least have been worthy of a proper police investigation.

****************************************************

Is it safe? In the movie theater business, the question is how much to promise older audiences.

Promise me somebody's gonna throw popcorn on me because I don't wanna think I'm packing my gun for nothing.

****************************************************

Texas man tried selling 50 million N95 masks he didn’t have to Australia, feds say

Sez if he'd had to go out & get the actual masks his profit margin would have suffered some'm awful. He's just a good businessman (you know, like Trump).

Trump Directed $375,000 In Donations To His Own Building To Rent An Unused Office

****************************************************

Driving to work, a restaurant owner saw a car stopped in the road. She went over — and delivered a baby.

Shouldn't the health inspector investigate that restaurant?

****************************************************

He saw a man in a four-second news clip — who turned out to be the brother he never knew he had

"I knew nobody could look that stupid," he said, "without somehow being related to my family."

****************************************************

Viral video of birds falling from the sky sparks countless theories

1) they were somehow flying up there

****************************************************

How Trump testifying about his business hurts him

He's such a liar that people are gonna start thinking that his business is really tiny and all shriveled up. Maybe he should let Melania testify about it.

Opinion: We need a ‘Mazars warning’ on everything Trump says

****************************************************

Convicted fraudster Bernie Madoff's sister, husband found dead

Did not know Bernie's husband was still alive. [Lazy thinking.] Look, the Miami Herald wrote it correctly:

Bernie Madoff’s sister and her husband dead in murder-suicide in Palm Beach home, cops say

****************************************************

Rep. Jim Hagedorn, Trump Supporter Who Once Called Female Senators ‘Bimbos,’ Dies At 59

Justice tempts us to say, "Good riddance." Sometimes God kicks the demons that have made their escape to the world back to the depths of their Hell, where they justly belong. But unlike those demons, human beings are pained to see others suffer (no matter how evil those others may be). Humanity sometimes does trump justice.

****************************************************

Judge Allows Civil Suits to Proceed Against Trump Over Jan. 6 -- Mr. Trump “invited his supporters to Washington, D.C., after telling them for months that corrupt and spineless politicians were to blame for stealing an election from them; retold that narrative when thousands of them assembled on the Ellipse; and directed them to march on the Capitol building,” Judge Mehta wrote.

In sum, these are the charges against Donald 'J' [for 'Jailbird'] Trump for inciting the Capitol riot of January 6th 2021. [He must be seeing those jailbars in his every dream by just about now.]

Judge Rules Trump Must Face Jan. 6 Civil Suits, Slams Words As 'Encouragement' Of Violence

'He's Just A Bad Guy': Judge Slams Claim That Trump Is Unfairly Singled Out In AG Probe

It might really be the beginning of the end for Trump

Trump Shoots Himself In Foot With Screed Over Accountants Who Ditched Him

****************************************************

Grandstanding Republicans try to protect unruly passengers

I wonder what excuse Republicans will use to defend child molesters; but the way things are going with them it is almost inevitable that eventually they will.

****************************************************

GOP House Candidate Says College Turns Young People Into Leftists Who Hate America

Well, perhaps that explains the anti-American attitudes of all those Republican elected officials who went to college.

****************************************************

Russia To Stage Massive Nuclear Drills Amid Ukraine Standoff

The baby Putin is having a tantrum. Won't somebody please pick him up out of the cradle before he craps all over himself? [You know, if Putin doesn't invade Ukraine by tomorrow I'm suing him for breach of promise.]

U.S. Learned of Kremlin Order to Proceed With Invasion, Officials Say

What the Russian Army should really do instead of invading other countries [if it were truly patriotic] is turn around and march on Moscow to demand that the tyrant step down so that the Russians too can live as free as the Ukrainian live now.

Biden: Putin ‘setting up a rationale to take more territory by force’

One single power-hungry madman is going to cause untold damage and deaths because those around him do not have the courage to stop him. The sole consolation is that, after the innocents who will suffer the most, those weak-willed enablers are precisely the ones who will suffer the biggest losses.

Opinion: It’s not just the West that opposes Putin’s war on Ukraine. A lot of Russians do, too.

China keeps walking its tightrope between Russia and the West as tensions flare in Ukraine

Crippling sanctions on Russia are not going to leave China unscathed: Prices in the West are going to soar because of high energy prices, which means more money for the Arabs, yes, but unless the Chinese lower the prices of all the junk they sell us until they're practically giving it away it means China will not be able to sell us as much of their goods as they do now. This might not be an altogether bad thing for us: Higher priced Chinese goods may finally encourage native industries here in the West to again find a niche profit margin, perhaps even the beginning of a renaissance of sorts. [And now you know why the Chinese even with all their enmity for the US and clear-cut roadmap for their own Taiwan ambitions are still hesitant to encourage Putin's warmongering madness.]

****************************************************

Trump celebrates Putin’s moves against Ukraine as ‘genius’ and ‘savvy’

Trump will no doubt eventually threaten to campaign against any GOP candidate who does not also worship at the anti-American Altar of Putin. And a lot of them no doubt will.

There are people serving life sentences for shoplifting in this country, for Heaven's Sakes, while Trump sits in Mar-a-Lago on a Mount Everest of innumerable crimes & felonies & acts of treason calmly picking his nose at the United States of America.

****************************************************

On classified material found at Mar-a-Lago, Garland says Justice Dept. will ‘look at the facts and the law’

Translation: I'm going fishing and will call you if I get a bite.

****************************************************

Retired Florida Cop Who Killed Unarmed Popcorn-Throwing Man In Movie Theater Acquitted

I don't know why this jury acquitted him, but this man did not take a gun to a theatre to feel safe: He took it hoping somebody would brush by him without apologizing so he could shoot him/her. He sat behind the man he shot AGAIN after going to the lobby to complain about him. That's a man who was not feeling afraid but looking for trouble; looking for an excuse to use his gun. And the excuse he chose was the man he murdered sprinkling some popcorn at him: The video shows no hesitation from a man experienced in the use of a gun pulling out his gun & killing his victim. No warning, "If you toss popcorn at me I'll shoot you!" Or, "I have a gun. I'm an ex-police officer. You're scaring me to death, so I'm gonna kill you." Nothing. Just an expertly placed kill shot by a man who's practiced it all his professional life. Who in his right mind believes that tossing some popcorn at somebody in a theatre is going to make him pull out a gun and shoot you to death?! I don't see how such a man could possibly be anything other than just a cold-blooded murderer; and he got away with it.

****************************************************

Israel's actions in West Bank equivalent to Russian invasion - British MP

Except, of course, that while the Ukraine has never once invaded Russia and never even attacked Russia [ever] the West Bank Palestinians originated the war against Israel the second it was founded (and even before then) and have never since ceased waging war against Israel except when forced by Israel to stop it). Yes, you can call anyone who does not know this basic fact anti-Semitic and an out-&-out racist.

****************************************************

This man tested positive for COVID-19 over a month after dying

Sez had to get himself tested after all his other family corpses refused to let him be buried in their family plot unless he did so. He is recovering now in the hospital morgue, thank you.

****************************************************

Ukraine's Zelenskyy Rejects U.S. Evacuation Offer: 'I Need Ammunition, Not A Ride'

I was sure the Russians would assassinate Zelensky pretty quickly, but he's still hanging on at this writing. And at this point his murder would no doubt be counter-productive for Putin because an assassinated Zelensky is likely to become a rallying point for the Ukrainians; who in any case will probably only become more belligerent at that point. I think it's probably more convenient now for Putin to have Zelensky as someone with whom to negotiate.

Yes, it's all quite remarkable really. Frankly I didn't think the Ukrainians would be so effective (maybe I was just overestimating the same-ole crickety Soviet Army which is still made up of young unwilling conscripts) but I am quite surprised at the extent of the civilian Ukrainians' effectiveness against the so-called professional Russians. I guess fighting for your homes (from your own homes) gives you a lot better edge than trying to conquer your neighbor just to make your leader feel good; probably all those Javelins & Stinger missiles too. I still think the Russians will push to capture Kyiv with all they got regardless of how much it costs them--It's cost them a lot: Thousands of Russian soldiers killed, hundreds captured, there are major Russian commanders killed & captured (and it looks like over 100 tanks destroyed!). I think Putin thought an Ukrainian Army would be his sole meaningful opponent--which he would kill in a couple of days, job done; but he's finding out that the Ukrainian Army has broken up into little groups of 'paramilitaries' (armed now with Javelins & Stingers) who are all around them--and you can't swat down all of them with one blow no matter how powerful your army may be.

Now the West is sending them even more Stingers & Javelins, even the Germans who were in a stupor (addicted to Russian energy). I expect Zelensky will probably be murdered soon, but I also expect this war will probably continue on & on until Putin is overthrown, most probably: Even if he wins in Ukraine (which is no certainty), after this war Russia is going to have a piddling Army everybody will know is really only a pale shadow of what its once grandiose reputation had been [which explains Putin's reluctance to commit all his forces to the fight up to now: that's all the army Russian has, and if it's swallowed up in The Ukraine, what is mighty Russia with only Putin & Lavrov holding one AK-74M between them?). I think at the end of the day the Russian generals are not going to be at all happy about Putin throwing them into this buzzsaw like that even if they claim a [most inglorious] glorious victory. At least Hitler's Blitzkrieg looked at first like it was going to overwhelm the whole world. Well, take care. Let's see if some of us survive this.

White House officials worry that an avalanche of sanctions may prompt Vladimir Putin to double down.

Terror will not work in Ukraine; the Ukrainians have accepted the fact that a lot of them will have to die in order for their country to survive. So at the end of the day Putin may level their cities and butcher countless women, children and old people, but his war of terror will not impact on the Ukrainian fighting forces. On the contrary, they will probably grow in numbers, arms, and training. Putin has already lost this war, but his narcissistic stubbornness will cost both the Ukrainians and the Russians dearly.

Putin puts Russia's nuclear forces on alert, cites sanctions

The butchery of thousands of Russian soldiers in a pointless & senseless war is no big deal to Putin, the destruction of Ukraine's cities are but a piddling matter to him, the barbaric murder of untold numbers of Ukrainian civilians he could care less about... but the West cutting off access to his bank account is just enough to prompt Putin to threaten nuclear war. O Who might have imagined that Armageddon would come upon us because of a few lousy bucks!

Russia is surrounded by real enemies everywhere and Putin decides to attack a country that has been trying to become Russia's friend (the Zelensky administration was criticized recently for appointing too many pro-Russians, for Heavens Sakes). The Ukrainians are a people that once used to think of themselves as the Russians' blood brothers! This should tell you Putin is really one stupendous moron [and also why another stupendous moron, Trump, thinks he's a 'genius' just like himself]. I mean: Who sends columns of armor into a country of ordinary citizens armed to the teeth with anti-armor RPG's?!? The world hasn't seen a blunder like this since the British army's retreat from Concord in a long line while being whittled down by American turkey hunters from the bushes around them.

If it goes the way it's been going for the Russians in the Ukraine in a few weeks it will be hard for the Russians to come up with enough of an army (left after the Ukrainian debacle) to threaten Georgia or any of the other real enemies that ring Russia.

****************************************************

Conservative Icon Torches Trump As ‘Stray Orange Hair To Be Flicked Off Nation’s Sleeve’

Trump looks more and more like a stray hair to be flicked off the nation’s sleeve

Well, the powder-sugared churro of the right has put it right for once.

****************************************************

Atrocities inflicted on Ukrainian civilians must be answered

You can start by seizing all the Russian wealth you can and using it to compensate Ukrainians for all the pointless ruin that Putin has decided to rain upon them. Frankly, I don't know what Putin hopes to accomplish with his perverse invasion of Ukraine outside of a lot of needless death and destruction. But he has recently said that the war is 'going according to plan;' so maybe that's what he had planned all along for this self-evident monstrosity against a sovereign peaceful neighbor: Death & Destruction. And,

China says it seeks to ‘resolve’ Taiwan question, amid comparisons to Ukraine

If China really wants to resolve its Taiwan problem there is no need for war, all China has to do is wait until it, China, matures into a civilized democratic nation. Then Taiwan would probably want to get closer to its now dangerously undemocratic neighbor.

****************************************************

Is my memory going or is it just normal aging?

Ah! So you can't remember which then?

****************************************************

Zelenskyy asks NATO for no-fly zone over Ukraine

With the kind of deadly anti-air weapons the Ukrainians are armed now (their ubiquitous Stingers, and coming soon super-Stingers) the Ukrainians themselves have pretty much established a no-fly zone over their country for the Russians.

****************************************************

What are the main benefits of eating avocado?

1) not having to watch them go rotten

****************************************************

Video shows damage to residential buildings in Mykolaiv after shelling overnight

The Russians keep mouthing lies about what they say is happening in Ukraine while the Ukrainian civilians keep posting actual videos of what's really happening there. It's really fascinating how the Russians keep pushing lies which are so easily proven to be lies: It's as if these guys were somehow living in some fantasy world of the old 1930's Soviet Union!

****************************************************

As temporary cease-fires break down, Putin escalates threats

Putin's war of terror is a sign of desperation, not of strength.

During the Battle of Britain the Luftwaffe was almost on the brink of destroying the RAF when for some crazy reason Hitler ordered it to switch from attacking its British bases and planes to attacking British cities, especially London. Famously, when Winston Churchill was informed of this he was supposed to have joyfully proclaimed that England had won the Battle of Britain. And he was right: The Russians are doing a fine job of murdering Ukrainian non-combatants, while the Ukrainians have never stopped targeting the Russian combatants: The Ukrainians are destined to win this war.

Russia turns to Syrian fighters as ‘nearly 100 percent’ of Moscow’s prestaged forces are in Ukraine, U.S. official says

This is a clear acknowledgement that even after Russia has committed 100% of its forces to the Ukraine invasion not even its High Command are expecting that it will be enough to ensure success. On the contrary, it tell me Russia is very much expecting to lose the war with the forces it has committed there. And I can see that outcome on the ground even now: The Russian ground forces are slowly being degraded as time goes on while the Ukrainians are growing both in numbers and arms (and even more powerful and sophisticated arms are on the way to them). It will not take all that much more for the Ukrainians to capture the Russian Army in its territory or to destroy it utterly (this is not some little group of French partisans annoying the German Army of occupation). Then Russia will only be able to bomb Ukraine from high in the air or by long-range artillery. And that will be a clear-cut defeat for Russia. Watch for it. What I cannot understand is how a cynical shameless hypocrite like Putin has not already declared 'all his objectives met,' declared victory, and ordered a full retreat [even if under fire] to save what he can of his "dignity" and ground forces.

Russia tells Ukraine to give up all claims to Crimea, eastern regions if it wants assault to end

I don't think this war is going to come to an end this time until the Ukrainian Armed Forces chase the Russian Army out of Crimea. And the sooner Putin and his Mafia cronies understand this the sooner this war will be concluded.

If there is one emotion gripping Ukraine, it is hate for Russia’s government — and its people.

Ukrainian lawmaker to Putin: ‘You can shoot us, but you cannot have us’

Instead of reading (and mindlessly believing) old Bolshevik history books [propaganda] from the 20's and 30's Putin should have read up-to-date modern Ukrainian newspapers to gauge the true democratic temper of the Ukrainian people today.

What do I think will be the end game? I certainly can't believe that it will be utter victory for one side and utter defeat for the other. I believe at some point they will agree to a split in their wants/needs and sign an armistice that will leave he status quo pretty much as it was before Putin's pointless hostilities. And then so much for the usefulness of war.

****************************************************

Polish President Andrzej Duda called the strike on the hospital an “act of barbarity” and said “it is obvious to us that in Ukraine Russians are committing war crimes.”

Regional Ukrainian police official Volodymir Nikulin, standing in the ruins, called the Mariupol attack “a war crime without any justification.”

"Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov dismissed concerns about civilian casualties as “pathetic shrieks” from Russia’s enemies. He claimed without providing evidence that the Mariupol hospital had been seized by far-right radical fighters who were using it as a base — despite the fact that photographs from the aftermath show pregnant women and children at the site."

Yes: Are we going to believe your mouth or the eyes of the entire world?

****************************************************

Ukraine-Russia war: What if Trump and Netanyahu were still in power?

Ukraine would be f#*ed. And not in a nice way like it is being f#*ed now.

Does anybody really believe that the creep who was blackmailing a country under the threat of foreign attack would really do anything other than 'cut a deal' with Putin that would make the Stalin-Hitler partition of Poland look almost decent?

Trump was ready to give Putin what he wanted. We now have a president on the right side.

Yes, “Let’s Go Brandon” on one right side of the room has no quick answer from the left side, as it would have to be, "Let's Go Hump!"

Jan. 6 committee alleges Trump, allies engaged in potential ’criminal conspiracy’ by trying to block Congress from certifying election

Trump Feared Only What He Himself Had To Lose With 'Murderous' Election Move: Witness

Opinion: Finally, an initiative to hold Trump’s lawyers accountable

'Coup Memo' Lawyer Loses Bid To Hold Up Records He Warns Could Convict Trump

****************************************************

Rep. Adam Kinzinger Declines To ‘Ever’ Appear On Tucker Carlson’s ‘Propaganda’ Show

Wonder why FOX News has not been forced to register as an agent of a foreign government?

How Russian Media Uses Fox News to Make Its Case

Dick Durbin Slams Tucker Carlson As ‘Apologist For Putin’ In Senate Floor Speech

****************************************************

How does DeSantis sleep at night?

On MyPillows gifted to him by Mike Lindell, just like Trump and Putin.

****************************************************

A Bird Is Blamed as 10,000 Lose Power in New Orleans

Authorties trying to discover who told the bird which switch to throw.

****************************************************

Why unique baby names are surging

Because nobody wants 20 hungry kids showing up at one's house when you call yours in for lunch.

****************************************************

A cat was killed in Maryland. Two dogs were put on ‘death row.’

Humane Society officials complained that the dogs were underaged when they committed their crime: Neither of them was even ten years old yet!

****************************************************

Russian Foreign Minister says Russia did not attack Ukraine

Sergey Lavrov sez that what looks for all the world like the Russian Army invading Ukraine is really the Ukrainian Army invading the Ukraine, pulverizing its own cities, butchering its own innocent children and defenseless women & old people in order to make it look like it's Russia that's doing it. And he said all this without then immediately announcing that it was "Saturday Night Live!"

"Russia warned the United States that convoys with weapons sent to Ukraine would be “legitimate targets” for the Russian military. The deputy foreign minister, Sergei Ryabkov, said on Russian television that Moscow had warned Washington that the “thoughtless transfer of such types of weapons as portable anti-aircraft and anti-tank missile systems” to Ukraine could lead to serious consequences."

"Nonsense," an EU spokesman sez: "We are not transferring any weapons to Ukraine whatsoever. Nothing. Zero. We are no more sending weapons to Ukraine than you are invading Ukraine."

The White House warned that false claims about the war by both Moscow and Beijing may provide cover for Russian operations.

"President Volodymyr Zelensky of Ukraine said he was worried that a stepped-up Russian propaganda campaign accusing his country of possessing chemical weapons could be a prelude to Russia’s own use of forbidden weapons of destruction. “This makes me really worried, because we’ve been repeatedly convinced: If you want to know Russia’s plans, look at what Russia accuses others of,” he said in a speech to the nation broadcast overnight."

Essentially, whenever Russia starts saying the West is preparing a biological or chemical attack it means Russia is going to carry out a biological or chemical attack (exacly as when the Kremlim kept saying that Russia wasn't going to invade Ukraine, exactly as when Russia says it's not indiscriminately bombing civilians, and exactly as when they recently claimed that Russia has never invaded Ukraine).

Russia, Where All the News Is Fake

That is Putin's legacy there. Now imagine if serial liar Trump had succeeded in winning a second term here! One single purveyor of lies at the top is enough to destroy the truth in an entire nation.

John Bolton Says 'Putin Was Waiting' For Trump To Withdraw From NATO In Second Term

****************************************************

This Is Why Putin Can’t Back Down

Because Putin, as the head of a Mafia, knows that if he backs down he's dead meat. This is the ugly little problem of putting a Mafia at the head of a country: Likewise here Trump knows that if he backs down then Pompeo or another one of his capos will smell blood in the water and stab him in the back.

Opinion: Thank goodness Biden, not Trump, is president during the worst European crisis since 1945

Opinion: Five vile things Trump did to Zelensky and Ukraine that you forgot about

John Kelly Expresses 'Disbelief' At Trump's Praise Of Putin As A 'Genius'

****************************************************

“President Putin’s arrogant assumption that he would be welcomed as a liberator has deservedly crumbled as fast as his troops’ morale,” British Defense Secretary Ben Wallace said.

Now Putin will be greeted only by the Ukrainian ruins he is creating there and the Ukrainian dead he has murdered.

Putin Picked the Wrong Country to Mess With

Opinion: A prolonged war in Ukraine could transform Europe

****************************************************

Elon Musk Challenges Putin To Fight Him One-On-One With Ukraine As The Prize

Sez he is giving Putin the choice between a game of Monopoly (which Musk is very good at) or Tiddlywinks (which Putin is said to play very aggressively).

****************************************************

Russia imposes sanctions on US President Biden and Sec. Blinken

This is terrible news: They were supposed to go on a fishing trip to St.Petersburg this summer.

****************************************************

Herschel Walker Skeptical Of Evolution: ‘Why Are There Still Apes? Think About It’

Yeah, and why are there still sponges (we used to be sponges at one time too). Think about it.

We did! Obviously the reason there are still sponges is so that we can wash the dishes. [You see: The answer is there if we just think about it.] And obviously then the reason there are still apes is so we can enjoy a nice Sunday at the zoo.

****************************************************

Analysis: Shifts in Russian statements have led some to believe that Moscow sees a nuclear exchange as a viable strategy.

As it becomes clearer and clearer that Russia will not achieve a military victory on the ground in Ukraine and Vladimir Putin realizes that this will spell out the end to himself the danger increases that he will lash out not just viciously & brutally but, in the end, insanely:

There is only one person in this world who knows whether WWIII will start, and that is Vladimir Putin. And the only people who can stop him from starting it are, not one of them, outside Russia: They are the Russian generals who care [or don't care] whether their own families are sacrificed for the glory of Vladimir Putin.

We, out here, can really only wait and see.

****************************************************

A man thought he was staying in a Miami Airbnb. He was in the wrong house.

"Listen, honey, get me a cup of coffee, will'ya."

"Mom!!!!"

****************************************************

Calling Putin a ‘war criminal’ is unforgivable, Kremlin says

Kremlin sez that now that Putin is one, being one, on the other hand, is now The Thing To Be.

****************************************************

Dozens of GOP senators demand Biden do more for Ukraine after voting against $13.6 billion in aid for Ukraine

Say that Biden should stage a one-man River Dance instead, which of course wouldn't cost anything and is about the only thing Biden isn't already doing for Ukraine.

****************************************************

Russia and China's relationship will get stronger - Lavrov

Naturally: They share the same lack of humanity and propensity to steal from others.

****************************************************

Tiger Mauls Worker At Florida Airboat Attraction

Officials at the attraction said that that's what tigers do: "If you don't wanna see people getting mauled by tigers then go to a flea circus & watch'em get bit by fleas instead; that's what fleas do!"

****************************************************

Dog Dumped At North Carolina Shelter Because Owners Thought It Might Be Gay

Fezco The Gay Dog said: "Gay?! No, man. Get me a bitch--I'll do her right here! Right now!" [In spite of this joke that is a terrible thing to do even to a dog.]

****************************************************

Row over rubber penis in India family planning kit

Apparently in India a rubber penis is like a rubber chicken except not quite as dead: It's especially popular there with not-ready-for-prime-time stand-ups and sometimes brings down the house.

****************************************************

For the Putin rally the Luzhniki stadium was covered with posters that read “For a world without Nazism,” a reference to one of the Kremlin’s stated reasons for the invasion, to “denazify” Ukraine.

Later Kremlin gremlins corrected the posters to more accurately read: “For a world without Nazism except Putin's.”

****************************************************

Negotiators signal progress in recent Kyiv-Moscow talks

Translation: Ukraine has won the war and every minute the Russians abstain from signing their armistice & getting out of Ukraine is one more boatload of Russian equipment lost and Russian soldiers needlessly killed.

Russia asks China for military equipment, U.S. officials say

Can you imagine 'Great' Russia reduced to the same level as the 'lowly' Ukraine, now also desperately begging for military supplies from other countries! I'm sure the Russian generals must be mortified beyond belief. It might be years before they can look their Europeans & American counterparts in the eye. "Thank you, Mister Putin."

Russia may be using Commissar 'execution squads' again - report

The demoralization of the Russian troops must be even more staggering that we imagine. Jesus! Not only was their only reason to fight in the first place solely 'for the greater glory of Putin' but now if they don't continue to fight they get shot in the back by his 'hit squads' of roaming secret policemen. Frankly, I don't think this Army can stand getting shot from the front and from the rear much longer.

IT’S A PUTINY! Russian marines ‘MUTINY on warship and refuse to fight in Ukraine’ fuelling hopes of anti-Putin unrest, reports claim -- The alleged mutiny echoes the famous rebellion by the crew of the battleship Potemkin in the same area in 1905.

     This is one bad news item for Tsar Putin!

Taras Kuzio, a research fellow at the Henry Jackson Society, crediting a Ukrainian news network, tweeted: "5,000 Russian soldiers in staging area in Russia, north of Kharkiv have revolted and refusing to attack Ukraine."

As Ukraine continues to fight back against Russian forces, reports have circulated of Ukrainian forces obtaining Russian equipment and vehicles. According to Zelensky, this has gone to such an extent that Russia is now essentially a supplier of military equipment for the Ukrainian army. -- "They flee the battlefield, throwing away equipment," Zelensky said, as reported by New Voice of Ukraine. "We take them as trophies and use them to defend Ukraine."

Putin braces for coup as 'disgruntled' top Russian generals turn on Kremlin chief -- JUST IN: Putin health concerns: President may be suffering from brain disorder

This is the official reason they usually start giving in Russia for a leader who has 'opted to take a vacation from his office' ["he's come down with a slight fever" or something] before they suddenly bury him for good & all.

Putin’s unpopularity in the United States is now comparable to Osama bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, Fidel Castro and Ayatollah Khomeini.

[But I'm betting his popularity is still higher here than it is among the Russian generals over there.

Does Putin intend to depopulate the Ukraine? Because obviously he's going to have to do that in order to achieve anything more there--And it sure seems like that's what Putin is aiming for: Yes, the Russians can still supply its land force from the sea in the south without it being intercepted by the Ukrainians, but do the Russians have enough supplies there to do much more than just have it eventually destroyed by the Ukrainians inland? It is telling that the Ukrainians are no longer so much interested in capturing territory as they are on inflicting maximum casualties on the Russians. They seem to have come to understand that the Russians have shot their wad, so to speak, and are not going to do much more from here on out than try to cause needless deaths & indiscriminate destruction in/from the territories they hold.]

Russia Facing ‘Outright Defeat’ And ‘Sudden’ Collapse In Ukraine, Author Says

Opinion: War proves that Russia is no longer a superpower

Retired Lt. General: Russia May Face Trouble In Ukraine ‘Within The Next 10 Days’

Russian troops reportedly attack commanding officer after heavy losses

The Russian army is suffering death by a thousand cuts and is taking revenge against innocent civilians--It is both shameful and cowardly beyond measure. An incompetent army is a dead army, and as much death & suffering as the Russian army is inflicting on the Ukrainian population the Russian army itself is a Dead Man Walking army. It must be costing Russia billions; and Russia is really a small economy, smaller even than some US states--things are going to go belly-up there eventually, and probably a lot sooner than later.

Ukraine war: Kyiv terrain will slow Russian troops, say Ukraine generals

Russia Signals It May Be Narrowing War Aims

Stephanie Grisham Reveals Chilling Reason Donald Trump Admired Vladimir Putin

Donald Trump, General Flynn, Roger Stone and all those skull-knocking Putin-admiring MAGA GOP politicians may seem like characters out of some comic opera, but they are really serial killer wannabes... and you elect them to high office at your own peril. These are peculiar times we are living through, a moment in history when far too many Americans are flirting with fascist temptations--We really need to make a hard turn here towards more democratic norms again in this country to get ourselves back on the path towards righteousness from which we've gotten lost for the moment: We need to start remembering again the democratic principles upon which America is based; and make those principles the democratic foundations upon which we actually stand and, in effect, the legs with which we will move ahead in our historic journey towards a more just existence.

Opinion: Liz Cheney nails the truth about ‘the Putin wing of the GOP’

Unpacking how Trump primed Jan. 6’s most dangerous weapon: The mob

John Bolton’s crusade to debunk Trump’s revisionist history on Russia and Ukraine

‘No Doubt’ Trump Guilty Of ‘Numerous Felonies,’ Prosecutor Said In Resignation Letter

Prosecutor who resigned over stalled Trump probe says ex-president committed felonies

Opinion: Beware, Trump. 80 new Justice Department lawyers can do a lot of digging.

Trump ‘more likely than not’ committed crime in trying to block confirmation of Biden’s win, judge says

****************************************************

Biden calls Putin a ‘war criminal’

Biden is very slow now. It takes him ages to come up to... anything. Even the obvious.

But it is truly amazing how easily, how quickly ordinary Russian soldiers have turned into the same vicious heartless murderers we saw in WWII's Nazi troops! I suppose I really shouldn't be all that surprised: I expect it is the essence of our [chimp] human nature to be so willing to set aside our whatever humanity all so willingly, so easily!

****************************************************

On Tuesday night, Russia’s top spokesman, Dmitry Peskov, told Christiane Amanpour on CNN that he refused to rule out the possibility of using nuclear weapons

What they should do is take out Moscow with their nuclear weapons: that's where the real enemies of Russia are.

****************************************************

Russia’s ambassador to Indonesia said Putin plans to attend the Group of 20 summit that the Southeast Asian country is hosting in October. Western nations are reportedly trying to exclude Moscow from the G-20 organization of large global economies.

DON'T LET HIM! Putin wants to be outside Russia when he uses WMD's so he himself won't run the risk of being in Russia in case there's any retaliation!

I'm really amazed by this so-called humanity of ours: Putin knows that he is going to come out of this with nothing but loses right & left and yet he pushes on murdering thousands & thousands of innocent women, children & old people! [I'm really taken aback much more by the people around him who could stop him and don't.]

To The Moscow Midget: Mister Putin, when you get to Hell kick the Devil in the balls: He'll respect your willingness to stand up for yourself.

****************************************************

Putin cites author J.K. Rowling, complains West is cancelling Russia

Why don't they just give it up: Russia doesn't work, never has, and apparently never will. Why don't they become Cubans? As a Cuban, I myself would be glad to teach them how to properly do a Mambo, or to perform a quick Voodoo cleansing with a black hen. [PS. Cuba also doesn't work all that well either, which is why I and about a million other Cubans are in the U.S., which does seem to work... again, after Trump was canned last election.]

****************************************************

Russian generals are getting killed at an extraordinary rate

Don't worry, there's stlll more than a dozen of them left in Ukraine to be hunted down.

****************************************************

Cleveland Browns QB Deshaun Watson Denies Sexually Assaulting 22 Women

Well, you know... 12, 14 women maybe, but 22?! C'mon!

****************************************************

After speaking with the refugees, including several from the city of Mariupol, which has been flattened by Russian shelling, Mr. Biden called Mr. Putin “a butcher.”

Finally we have a president who actually speaks the truth!

Opinion: Putin shouldn’t remain in power. Biden’s advisers blew it.

****************************************************

Oscars always get it wrong. Here are the real best films of the past 46 years.

According to MEEEEEEEE.

****************************************************

In recent days, the Russian military has signaled that it might be taming its territorial ambitions by focusing on cementing control of eastern Ukraine.

So now the Russian Military is telling its enemies what it's intending to do? This is so that their enemies can adjust their tactics to better defeat it, correct?

Sure.

Ukraine Ambassador On Putin's Strategy: ‘We Can Always Count On Russia Lying’

****************************************************

Trump Touts 'Massive' Turnout At Georgia Rally That Journalists Say Was 'Smallest' In Years

"Yes, but," sez Trump: "Them two guys were massive! So beautifully massive."

****************************************************

Roman Abramovich, Ukrainian negotiators poisoned in Kyiv talks - WSJ report

Apparently Putin's agents can't even pull a successful simple poisoning these days.

****************************************************

Where do Russia's oligarchs hide their billions?

Well, Imelda Marcos used to hide hers in her shoes. That might be a good place to start looking for theirs. [Their shoes, not Imelda's.]

****************************************************

Reports: Ukrainian Peace Negotiators Showed Signs Of Poisoning After Meeting Russians

Well, isn't that to be expected?!

****************************************************

Russia pledges to 'drastically' scale back military operations

"Russia's pledges are not worth the bad faith they're written on."

Zelenskyy Gives Reality Check About Russian Pledge To Scale Back Attacks In Ukraine

Biden Skeptical Russia Is Really Scaling Back Operations In Kyiv

****************************************************

The Institute for the Study of War, a Washington-based think tank, said on Tuesday that despite pockets of Ukrainian resistance, Mariupol “will likely fall to the Russians in days.”

And then the retaking of Mariupol can begin.

Opinion: Stop overestimating the Russian military and underestimating the Ukrainians

****************************************************

Fox News' Lara Logan says Rothschilds paid Darwin to invent evolution theory

Why don't these simple people simply go back to school! Start them off from First Grade where they belong. And this time: PAY ATTENTION!

Parents fuck, educators educate, and never the twain should mix. But when you have the morons who failed their education when they themselves were in school coming back and having a say on the education of the next generation: That is suicidal for a nation--and the result is the QAnon lunacies most Republicans believe today, racism, attempts to impose our sexual preferences on others, movies of people walking around with the dinosaurs, and this Lara Logan ridiculous statement that "the Rothschilds paid Darwin to invent evolution theory!" That's the failed morons of yesterday standing in the way of the education of the next generation. The salvation of the nation from the moron parents demands that parents fuck and educators educate and that they don't interfere with each other's duties.

GOP Congressional Candidate Believes 'Abortion Is A Human Sacrifice' To Demons

Sez Emperor Charlemagne should look into it.

****************************************************

Oscar winner Will Smith hits Chris Rock on stage

People were impressed with Will Smith's ability to accurately hit such a small target with a single shot.

I do not approve of Will Smith's slap of Chris Rock: One man doesn't slap another man unless it's a prelude to some kind of a duel. I think Will Smith's slap was kind of sissy, slapping him & then running back to his seat. What Smith should have done is taken off his coat, rushed on stage and punched Chris Rock's lights out hard as he could [taking off your coat is warning enough of a duel now that they're illegal]. That's what a man does. Chris Rock is small but he's heavy-set while Will Smith is tall but skinny, so it would have been a relatively fair fight. If you're Will Smith & somebody sez so'm about your wife or your momma, whatever, you go up there and bust the SOB's face up until the stage hands rush in and break up the fight. [If I'm in the jury and Smith had no reason to do that he goes down, but if Chris Rock gave him the justification then Smith walks.] Now Will Smith will have to live with being the man who slaps other men just for the sake of a slap (Chris Rock must be laughing his little head off, as usual). I didn't like the way Smith slapped Rock and then rushed away; he should have remained there to see whether Rock did anything about it--throw a punch or apologize sincerely. Then Will Smith might have thought of apologizing himself for the bad behavior forced on him by Chris Rock. [Or he could have just sued Chris Rock for defamation if he thought it rose to that level--which no 'joke' ever does... That's why in today's civilized world you're forced to punch these little SOB's lights out.]

****************************************************

Chris Rock Says He’s Not Talking About Will Smith Slap ‘Until I Get Paid’

For Heaven's Sake, will somebody just give him a dollar & see what he has to say about it!

****************************************************

Trump ‘more likely than not’ committed crime in trying to block confirmation of Biden’s win, judge says

He also opined that it's possible that Adolph Hitler might have been a bit anti-Semite.

Opinion: Please, Merrick Garland. Don’t wait for the Jan. 6 committee.

"Ok, we'll tell him. After his nap."

How Trump could end up getting away with all of it

Opinion: Trump’s 7-hour phone gap should spur quicker action for Jan. 6 justice

Opinion: If Biden is frustrated with Garland, it’s his own darn fault

Opinion: Distinguished person of the week: He might have lit a fire under the DOJ

****************************************************

'Most Russian troops' leaving Chernobyl

It wasn't hard to spot them leaving, say observers, as they were all glowing like Christmas tree lights.

****************************************************

Russia drafts 134,500 conscripts but says they won't go to Ukraine

And, of course, we should trust anything Russia sez because, as you know, Putin is as truthful as is Donald Trump.

****************************************************

Putin demands Mariupol surrender to end shelling

Sez if they lay down their arms they will all be allowed to go home. [Apparently Putin hasn't yet been informed by his advisers that the Ukrainians' home is Ukraine.]

If Ukraine wants Russian troops out they're going to have to push them out because the Russians are not going to go out on their own.

****************************************************

White House keeps focus on ‘aggressor’ Russia after Belgorod claims

Wonder whether this could be one of those 'false flag' things Russia is undertaking in order to justify an egregious action of its own like chemical or nuclear weapons use in a war it is clearly losing. It seems suspicious that Ukrainian helicopters could be able to fly around Russian airspace that freely.

****************************************************

Zelensky declined to confirm or deny Ukraine’s role in an apparent strike on a fuel depot in Belgorod, a Russian city north of Kharkiv. Moscow blamed Ukraine for what it called an “escalation” that might harm negotiations.

The Russians have a right to attack Ukrainian territory but the Ukrainians don't have a right to attack Russian territory? Who made up this rule?! I'd be willing to bet as much as a nickel that it was not an Ukrainian.

****************************************************

What next for Will Smith after Oscars attack?

Some very juicy roles as nasty villains and other evil characters.

****************************************************

Birds are laying their eggs a month earlier than normal

This is good: That means when they hatch they'll already be month-old chicks at the least!

****************************************************

After killer asteroid, mammals got bigger before they got smarter - study

Same thing happened to my mother-in-law. That's when she finally started eating smarter.

****************************************************

Russia denies and deflects in reaction to Bucha atrocities

The only thing the Russians accomplish by calling these barbarities 'fabricated' is to cement in place the notion that they are unforgivable liars (like what happened to Trump). When everybody knows the truth the best thing is to quit the lie.

Satellite images show bodies lay in Bucha for weeks, despite Russian claims.

Fact-checking Russian claims about Bucha killings

****************************************************

He speaks 24 languages. How does he do it?

He's terrible at cleaning carpets; so a lot of those multi-ethnic housewives he works for have been constantly dressing him down in their native tongues for years.

****************************************************

‘Aggressive’ foxes reported on grounds of U.S. Capitol

In the old days they used to be known as 'streetwalker.'

****************************************************

This dog knows 40 commands and can play cards. A hospital hired him.

Now dog is not only out on strike for more money but cops also recently arrested him as a cards-cheat.

****************************************************

Tom Cotton Says Ketanji Brown Jackson Would Have Defended Nazis At Nuremberg

And the reason Cotton would not have wanted Jackson to defend the Nazis at Nuremberg is so the judge would have then had to declare no trial for Nazis for lack of a proper defense attorney?

****************************************************

'This is the Russian army, it’s what they do': Retired Col. Steve Ganyard

Russia's once mighty massive rinky-dink army isn't even an army anymore but just only a pitiful marauding mob of pillagers & murderers to be mercilessly hunted down by the proper authorities: The Ukrainians.

****************************************************

Martha Stewart Mourns Death Of Pet Cat Mistakenly Killed By Her 4 Dogs

"Wait a minute! Wait a minute, guys: I don't think that's a feral cat. Isn't that Pussy!" ['Wasn't' that Pussy.] "How are we gonna explain this to The Boss?" ["We'll just tell her that four black dogs came in here and killed Pussy."] "Guys, let's toss Pussy down the sewer and tell The Boss an even more believable lie about what the four hungry black dogs did to Pussy." ["What?!"] "Somebody explain it to him."

****************************************************

Arrested Anti-Abortion Activist Claims She Was Given 115 Fetuses

And sez that, NO, she is not trying to stop abortions in order to raise the value of her private collection of fetuses.

****************************************************

Manhattan prosecutor says criminal probe of Trump business is still underway

It's just that now it's an eternal investigation [a 'Garland investigation,' as it's called in the DOJ] and not one which culminates in some results, either way, somewhere, sometime.

****************************************************

My Best Friend Disappeared From My Life. I’m Still Trying To Find Out What Happened.

Are you still bathing as often? ["Sometimes the best answer is the most obvious one."]

****************************************************

Rep. Paul Gosar Was Scheduled To Attend Far-Right Event On Hitler’s Birthday: Report

Maybe he didn't want to offend the memory of his greatest hero with a poor speech. ["Sometimes the right answer is the most obvious one."]

****************************************************

U.S. life expectancy continued to drop in 2021, new analysis shows

This is news?! I've always known that the longer I live the lower my life expectancy was going to be: My Grandma told me this when I was two, laughing (she later said that the joke was on me).

****************************************************

Cargo Jet Splits In Half After Skidding Off Runway In Costa Rica

Plane manufacturer sez it's supposed to do that.

****************************************************

Republicans Want Oil Execs To Stop Apologizing And Do Less To Avert Climate Disaster

Apparently conservative pious Christian GOPers are Hell-bent on bringing about The Apocalypse one way or another.

****************************************************

Iryna Venediktova says Russian forces were killing Ukrainians every day - but Russia denies targeting civilians

Putin claims Ukrainian civilians are purposefully using Russian munitions to kill themselves in order to make Russia look bad.

At least 50 killed in attack on Ukrainian train station

One wonders why Russia has not learned from ISIS's similar counterproductive terroristic outrages like this that they tend to have the exact opposite effect of what the terrorists intend, as populations under such terroristic attacks harden their determination to oppose & defeat them.

Train Station Atrocity Shows Ukraine Needs More Military Support Against Russia: Activists

****************************************************

Mitch McConnell On Why He Would Back Trump In 2024: Party Comes First

"Party before country," sez McConnell: "Me before you!" Citing GOP proper grammar.

This is an important article that every American must read:

‘This Was Trump Pulling a Putin’

I really mean it: If you're an American you NEED to read this New York Times article on Fiona Hill and Trump. Search for it:

‘This Was Trump Pulling a Putin’

Fiona Hill: U.S. Capitol Riot Was Trump’s Attempt At ‘Pulling A Putin’

Former U.S. Attorney Calls Donald Trump Jr.'s Text On Seizing Election 'Smoking Gun'

Liz Cheney Says Jan. 6 Panel Has Enough Evidence To Refer Trump For Criminal Charges

GOP Strategist Spots Ominous Warning Sign For Trump That Even He Can See

Fraud evidence was never coming. Fraud evidence is never coming.

****************************************************

Russia will achieve noble aims in Ukraine - Putin

Yes indeed: The birth of a new European nation.

War impels many in Ukraine to abandon Russian language and culture

****************************************************

Comedian Gilbert Gottfried dead after ‘long illness’

What to make of the fact that with all the butchery and inhumanity taking place in Ukraine, still the passing away of Gilbert Gottfried so saddens me!

****************************************************

Biden appears to accuse Russia of genocide in Ukraine

Unlike that case with the Chinese Uyghurs, I agree with Biden that Russia has indisputably committed & is continuing to commit genocide in Ukraine.

Russia-Ukraine war: 21,000 civilians killed, Mayor of Mariupol estimates

****************************************************

Scientists find leg of dinosaur that was killed by the great asteroid

Say it we still twitching from the hit even after all this time. That's how they knew.

****************************************************

Analysis: Russia is learning that Ukraine is not Syria

A while back Donald Trump himself also had to learn the hard way [the only way there's the least hope he learns anything] that Ukraine isn't one of the other 'five' NY crime families. Although maybe he hasn't, really. After all, Trump got impeached again after that lesson anybody else would have picked up quite easily.

****************************************************

Jan. 6 defendant says Trump’s ‘orders’ caused him to steal liquor, coat rack

That's also who my neighbor blamed when he got caught trying to steal my lawnmower: Trump!

****************************************************

GOP lawmaker says homeless people should look to Hitler for inspiration

Finally a Republican who cuts through all that GOP 'we-believe-in-Jesus' baloney and tells us [what we all knew already about] who it is Republicans really believe in.

****************************************************

'Iran stands against Russia's war' - Ukraine FM

Translation: 'Iran sees the writing on the wall.'

****************************************************

Jennifer Lopez Is Getting An ‘Intimate’ Netflix Documentary About Her Life

"And then I went like THIS. And then I went like THAT. And then I moved my chest around & around this way & that."

This follow's Alex Rodriguez's ‘Intimate’ Netflix Documentary About His Life: "So I picked up a bat and then I went like THIS. And then I went like THAT. And then I moved my chest around & around this way & that."

****************************************************

Can’t we ‘Imagine’ a better song for peace and harmony?

Actually: No. Religion has been the principal cause of war in human history, and it still is today. Had there never been any religions none of those wars would have ever happened. Yes, even without religion there would still have been wars because we have been warring since we were jungle chimps. But now that we are civilized chimps we require a cause to butcher each other ("to die for") on the grand scale and religion, like the idea of 'nations' is a great reason "to kill for." John Lennon nailed it.

****************************************************

Russia warns U.S. to stop arming Ukraine

Wouldn't it be simpler all around for Russia to just stop its pointless Putin war against Ukraine and get the Hell out before the Ukrainians destroy the entire damned Russian Army?

Police: More than 900 civilian bodies found in Kyiv region

Russia Vows To Ramp Up ‘Scale Of Missile Attacks’ On Kyiv

Sez they're not killing people fast enough to satisfy Putin's serial-killer urges.

****************************************************

The life skills your dog needs

1) not making a fuss when you fart

****************************************************

Ukraine’s Prosecutor General’s New Purpose: Punish Putin, Russian Forces For War Crimes

To which the Kremlin said that glorious leader Vladimir Putin could never be brought to trial because he would be impossible to find as Putin is small enough to hide inside a bottle of 7-Up if necessary. Will Russia never stop telling lies! [Putin is small, yes, but not that tiny.] "There are no 7-Up bottles in Russia anymore, sorry Putin." ["Rats"]

****************************************************

Almost 200 animals found in Arizona man's freezer

Cops say if his Refrigerator's freezer is that big they can't even imagine how big the bottom half of that machine might be!

****************************************************

Russian warship was hit by two Ukrainian missiles before sinking, Pentagon says

Ukraine says it hit the Russian cruiser Moskva with missiles, while Moscow says it sank after a fire on board because it wanted to (sink). [Who to believe? Who to believe?]

Russian warship Moskva sinks in Black Sea

That baby must have cost a pretty penny. But I'm sure that Putin had the foresight to have it insured. Like Trump, Putin is also a man who thinks about the consequences of things & stuff.

In any case: One fewer ship causing trouble around the world. Thank you, Ukraine (the world owes you one).

****************************************************

Hezbollah MP says only $9 billion needed to destroy Israel

Sez that if stacked in $1 dollar bills, and dropped evenly over the whole territory of Israel, that would be enough to crush everything underneath. Now he's searching for a big piggybank.

****************************************************

‘The Ultimatum: Marry Or Move On’ Is A Whole Mess

Especially after you've moved all your stuff into her Mom's house.

****************************************************

We Didn’t Say ‘Gay’ At My High School. It Almost Cost Me My Life.

Well, when I was a kid 'gay' meant 'happy,'
not 'homosexual.' And because gay was so
easy to rhyme I'd written tons of'em, like:

"Joe and I played at the park that day
and we could not have been more gay!"

Which, after 'gay' started to mean 'homosexual'
instead of 'happy' gave a new unsavory twist to
my innocent romp in the park with my pal Joe.
And so I had to re-write tons & tons of verse
I had written up to that time. And this cost me
a lot of very valuable time as an easy rhymer!

****************************************************

People On Texas Beach Tried To ‘Ride’ Stranded Dolphin That Later Died

And even days & days later people were still coming up with reasons why its death was purely all the dolphin's fault.

****************************************************

I Started Preparing For My Death When I Was 34. Here’s What I’ve Discovered About Living.

1) it's one long preparation for death

****************************************************

Man Accused Of Stuffing Grandmother In Freezer To Die

Man sez, "Nonsense!" Sez he only stuffed her in there because her air conditioner stopped working.

****************************************************

Prayer proclamation in Miami Schools causes stir when board member says Jesus is only God

This is a terrible heresy by someone obvious not familiar with any aspect of Christianity: The Christian God is manifested in The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. For your information, it is a Christian heresy to say that only one of them is God.

****************************************************

Noam Chomsky says Ukraine should settle with Russia

Would I too make the same or a different decision? Well, make me an Ukrainian citizen, take me to Kyiv, and I will then [and only there] give you my decision. I don't see how it can possibly be otherwise [for Ukraine]: Chomsky seems to be making his decision where he is because he's afraid he might himself be involved in somebody else's nuclear war. And, likewise, if I make the decision from/where I now am, in my own circumstances, it's likely to be a decision not having anything [if anything] to do with/for/about Ukraine: This is a decision strictly only for the Ukrainians in Ukraine to make. And for no one else anywhere.

****************************************************

Opinion: We don’t know much about the DOJ’s Jan. 6 inquiry. Here are 4 things we do know. -- "That said, public hearings in prime time laying out a powerful case against Trump and a written report summarizing those findings followed by a referral may convey to the public the gravity of the matter. It may also force the Justice Department to explain itself if it decides not to prosecute."

Dear Ms. Rubin, if two presidential impeachments have failed to sway the brains of Republicans high & low, elected officials or voters, that Donald Trump is a traitor to his country and one of the most dangerous criminals that ever walked the streets... I doubt even films of Trump murdering, raping, and butchering people will make much difference. To the appropriate authorities I say: Indict the criminal and let juries decide the merits of each case. Who knows, miracle of miraces, you might get "twelve good men and true" (maybe even a couple of them all-women).

Opinion: We don’t know much about the DOJ’s Jan. 6 inquiry. Here are 4 things we do know. -- "Someone would be wise to point out to Garland the dangers of unnecessary delay."

I seriously doubt that legions & legions of DOJ people (probably including a couple of janitors & window-washers there) have not yet told him this over & over again. It's just that some people have golden vaults in their heads where they trap themselves to protect their thoughts from the opinions of others, whether good or bad. I know a number of such persons, and I try to stay as far away from them as I can, as it is completely useless to waste my breath on them. Good luck with Merrick Garland, anyways!

A Conviction Would Puncture Trump's Personality Cult, Predicts Authoritarian Expert

****************************************************

Trump to rally with GOP candidate accused of assaulting several women

"Birds of a feather fly together."

****************************************************

North Korea tests new weapon 'to improve nukes'

Some there favor & advocate for chocolate-covered nukes while other North Koreans prefer strawberry ones. Everybody's sick of the nut-covered ones already!

****************************************************

Depp testifies that Heard verbally berated him and physically lashed out

O MY GOD! She yelled at him?! The poor little fellow!

****************************************************

Russia says it has successfully tested a new intercontinental missile that can evade defenses.

And... this missile will at the same time also deploy an impenetrable defense against missiles fired in response to its certainly deadly impact on the United States, say?

No?! Ah! Then, essentially what Putin is saying is that he has gotten hold of a missile which will definitely absolutely certainly hit the United States but is ultimately designed to destroy all of Russia.

Now, I may be wrong about this, but this sounds to me like that missile should be named The Suicide ICBM. Or that whoever in Russia contemplates [even theoretically] the use of such a missile by Russia is by definition a raving lunatic and should be caged just as soon as is humanly possible for the sake of all Russians (if for the sake of no one else).

****************************************************

Save energy and annoy Putin, Germans told

Or, The Lazy Man's Way To Fight A War

****************************************************

Court Halts Firing Squad Execution In South Carolina

Sez they keep aiming too low: They're there to kill him, not to keep him from fathering children.

****************************************************

Trump says he threatened not to defend NATO from Russia

I believe it: No money in his pocket. Another reason: Trump's acts of treason against the United States all center around his dream of eventually becoming a Russian oligarch. Now it's Trump who after the Ukrainian War might eventually have to give Putin a job as a pool boy down at Mar-a-Lago [because Putin still has a lot of stuff on him].

****************************************************

A Florida lawyer had a habit of practicing while suspended or, essentially, disbarred

Sez he just feels he has more options when he doesn't have to worry about getting disbarred.

****************************************************

Elon Musk, the world’s richest person, is worth $270 billion. He’d buy Twitter with an IOU.

This is what's wrong with America: Here everybody from me to Elon Musk always wants to put everything on a credit card!

****************************************************

What questions do you have about the changing climate? Ask The Post.

1) how hot does the earth have to get before we are no longer able to eat ice cream cones at the beach?

****************************************************

Mike Tyson punches man apparently badgering him on flight, video shows

Chances are that Tyson was only defending himself from the creep (the only way he knew how); but because he's Mike Tyson he's going to have to pay a large penalty now for not sitting there and just taking it. If I were on his jury he'd walk. ["Hot dog! I got to see a Mike Tyson fight for free!"]

****************************************************

Mark Meadows was simultaneously registered to vote in three states

Sure: Thieves never trust anyone & now you know why the Republicans are likewise so obsessed with voter fraud.

****************************************************

Zelensky, pushing for Putin meeting, says, ‘I don’t have the right to be afraid’

Who could have imagined a couple of months ago that the most important politician in Europe would ever be an Ukrainian! At this point, Zelensky is pretty much the driving force in Europe, and therefore Europe's de facto leader! In which case he is much too important to risk sending him to meet with a serial murderer like Vladimir Putin, who loves to kill as sinisterly as the Borgias.

NATO spent 50 years building its military forces to deter Russia; and it turns out that it is the country of Ukraine that will not only stop Russia but defeat Russia and all her thousands of tin tanks once and for all!

****************************************************

'I Still Support Kevin': GOP Lawmakers Unbothered By Leaked Kevin McCarthy Audio

Say lying is just part of what Republican lawmakers have to do to their voters in order to help them keep electing them. They do a lot worse to them, but, "We won't get into that."

****************************************************

Trump Finds Kevin McCarthy Situation To Be ‘All A Big Compliment, Frankly’

Sez he can turn on outrage when he needs to or wants to. Sez he's "that great a guy."

****************************************************

Kane Tanaka, World's Oldest Person, Dies at 119

Scientists are now trying to figure out why it is that the world's oldest person keeps dying so soon after he or she is identified.

****************************************************

Trump says he won’t rejoin Twitter. Some advisers don’t believe him.

They actually think that Trump would lie to them?!?

****************************************************

I’m a minor-league pitcher. Why can’t baseball pay a living wage?

Well, I have a better job than yours (I toothbrush toilets for a living), but even I don't get a living wage. Why is that!?!

****************************************************

Is this the Western alliance’s last hurrah?

Yes. After Ukraine defeats Russia NATO won't be needed. I don't think the Chinese are as stupid as Putin, and they will eventually try to seek some accommodation based on mutually beneficial economics.

****************************************************

Jewish organizations are gearing up as midterm elections nears

This is not necessarily good news for the Democrats. After all, Jews are just like all the other morons, except more so.

****************************************************

The Man Of My Dreams Said He Wanted Me. So Why Did I Send Him To Be With Someone Else

Because when you woke up you found out that what you really needed was a man with a job.

****************************************************

Donald Trump on J.D. Vance: ‘He Said Some Bad S**t About Me’

To which Trump had to be reminded that he WAS some bad s**t. "Oh, yeah. That's right," Trump exclaimed. And then he tried to hang on still even harder to the sole of America['s right shoe].

****************************************************

ABC News Live: Russian foreign minister warns NATO is 'pouring oil on the fire'

Then what Russia should do is to stop shipping so much oil to NATO countries. That would help.

****************************************************

Chinese tutors killed in Karachi university attack

Did not know that Chinese was haram, although I knew it was very difficult--for anyone except Chinese children (who are born very smart).

****************************************************

Sen. Brian Schatz Presses Merrick Garland On Clemency For Leonard Peltier

Merrick Garland sez it will be impossible for him to grant clemency to anyone until he becomes president, or at least governor.

****************************************************

Bad Bunny To Star As Marvel’s First Latino Live-Action Film Lead In Sony’s ‘El Muerto’

Sony sez it is almost next to impossible to find a good bunny these days. "Sorry."

****************************************************

Jack Dorsey Says Elon Musk Is ‘The Singular Solution’ For Twitter

Sez his lips just happen to fit perfectly Musk's ass hole.

****************************************************

U.N. Warns: Get Ready For A Lot More Catastrophes In Next 10 Years

Well, if that includes car troubles--I don't know what I'm gonna do! I just installed a brand new crankshaft in that heap!!!

****************************************************

Depp witness suggests Heard showed symptoms of personality disorders

"Duh!" Heard sez: That is what attracted Depp to her in the first place. And then she suddenly became Johnny Depp!

****************************************************

What ever happened to masking for the common good?

"Yeah, that's all fine & good. But what's in it for me?"

****************************************************

The surprising cuisine of Indian Jews

It's just like Indian food, only more so. It also may explain why there are so few Jews left in India.

****************************************************

Top Russian Diplomat Warns Ukraine Against Provoking WWIII

First Russia accuses a Jew-led Ukraine of being Nazis, now they're saying that the only country on earth that actually got rid of all its nukes is threatening nuclear war? I suppose next they'll be asking people to be as truthful as Donald Trump!

****************************************************

Richard Nixon’s message to Kevin McCarthy: The truth always comes out

Message to Richard Nixon: In the GOP world of today, the truth don't maddah--Ya can lie all you want & get caught all you like & at the end of the day if you're faithful to Donald Trump's lies you'll do alright. Nixon must be twirling in his grave: He was born too soon.

****************************************************

Kevin McCarthy Lies About Lie He Told

Well, you only have to lie to me once. But, of course, I'm not a Republican.

****************************************************

Laser game-changers in Middle Eastern warfare - opinion

If they were truly wise, all those idiot billionaires who are trying to develop [tourist trysts for a couple of minutes out into the upper atmosphere], if they were truly wise they'd all be spending their mountain of cash on laser defenses against nuclear threats: Technology is just at the brink of creating a laser system which will shoot down ALL ballistic missiles. Think about a world where no one ever again has to live in terror of nuclear war. Shouldn't eliminating the possible deaths of billions and the destruction of human civilization merit a lot more dollars than taking brief joy rides up & down a few miles from the earth's surface... until a nuclear war puts an end to their stupid 'ultimate fun park pranks' by killing everybody?! Where are the brains of mankind hiding?

Things Elon Musk Said He’d Do With His Money Before He Bought Twitter

But just one single billion dollars of Musk's many hundreds of'em alone would probably be enough to vanquish nuclear war forever! Instead, he uses 44 of them to buy Twitter! It would be unimaginably hilarious were it not so unimaginably tragic.

Elon Musk might have to sit on a burning stone for all eternity mulling shoulda, woulda, coulda... over & over & over again.

Bad Jokes, Breasts And Faulty Hitler Comparisons: Here's How Elon Musk Used Twitter

****************************************************

McCarthy defends himself to House GOP after audio reveals he blamed Trump for Jan. 6 attack

"Yes. I did the right thing then. Can you forgive me!?"

****************************************************

Man to attempt to climb Everest on crutches

Oh! Can I climb Everest in a gurney? I'd love to climb Everest but I hate to exert myself. [That's why Everest has always attracted me.]

****************************************************

Andrew Garfield Finally Reveals Whom He Was Texting In That Viral Oscars Meme

Great, NOW they're starting to use proper English just when I didn't give a damn anymore!

****************************************************

US Army replaces cake it stole from Italian girl in 1945

"It's not the same," said the now 90-year-old woman: "The one they stole was banana strawberry-cream filled, and those old Gros Michel bananas are now extinct." Then she died of old age after complaining how terrible the new bananas in her cake tasted. Her last word was, "Gross!"

****************************************************

Ben Gurion airport: US family spark panic by bringing unexploded shell

"Really?! Are you sure? We were gonna make it the centerpiece of our coffee table. [Invite guests to bang on it for good luck, with a hammer.]"

****************************************************

Marjorie Taylor Greene: 'I Don't Recall' Which GOP Colleague Wanted Trump To Declare Martial Law

Sez she's a firm believer in Omertà, "To the death, baby!"

****************************************************

What does Putin want from Russia's war in Ukraine?

Same thing that most serial killers ultimately seek: To be stopped, somehow, by someone... anyone.

****************************************************

Donald Trump Tries To Avoid Contempt Fines By Claiming He Doesn’t Have Records

Judge sez he absolutely believes that Trump is telling the truth. Then he died laughing. Another judge will have to take the case.

****************************************************

Kim warns N. Korea would 'preemptively' use nuclear weapons

And sez that the country that pisses him off the most these days is North Korea.

****************************************************

UK lawmaker resigns after viewing porn in House of Commons

Sez he's sure he can create much better porn than that & make a hell of a lot more cash than he's making now as a lawmaker.

****************************************************

In Sworn Deposition, Donald Trump Expresses Fear Of Being Hit By Killer Fruit

Someone later explained to him that the warning was about tornadoes, and not about tomatoes.

****************************************************

The long and gruesome history of people trying to live forever "Chinese Emperor Qin was not the only historical figure convinced a cocktail could bestow immortality. Diane de Poitiers, reputedly the most beautiful woman in 16th-century France, drank gold to preserve her good looks."

   Diane de Poitiers died an ugly old bitch
   anyway. But of her latrine cleaner it was said
   (after he too had lived his life & was dead)
   that he had died stupenduosly fabulously rich.

This is why I am an advocate of neutering and spaying people. We do it for dogs & cats, but human babies we pump out into the cruel world by the trillions (thankfully only a few billion survive, although all are eventually killed by this or that). This is getting out of hand. Would you really want Trump living forever--and who do you think it's going to be able to afford it except bums like him? There is no greater balm to life than death, or take a look at how wonderfully peaceful all dead people look (and the really ugly looks that living people give you).

****************************************************

Mike Lindell Bounced Off Twitter Again After He Slips Back On In Bid To Dodge Ban

Unfortnately Mike couldn't get away with it even though he claimed that it couldn't be him by writing that he obviously didn't have a moustache.

Liz Cheney Eviscerates Mike Lindell Over His Latest Election Claim

****************************************************

How big are Trump's legal problems?

It all depends on how big bread loaves are these days. [Yes, they're much bigger than that.]

Judge issues big rebuke of GOP effort to delegitimize Jan. 6 committee

Evidence Mounts Of GOP Involvement In Trump Election Schemes

****************************************************

Miss Manners: Is it rude of my friend to suggest a gift for herself?

No. First thing a lot of my friends say to me is, "Gimme a dollar, man! Gimme a dollar." It doesn't bother me. Just ignore it.

****************************************************

Carolyn Hax: Husband is stalling on kids but upset that wife might freeze eggs

The solution is that he should just eat them more quickly: Put the damn newspaper down when your wife's gone through the trouble of making you breakfast and listen to what she's saying about your kids! (One of'em could be pregnant.)

****************************************************

Bill Murray: Complaint about behavior was over ‘difference of opinion’

Same as with the St.Valentine Day's Massacre: The victims were of the opinion that they shouldn't be killed but the opinion of the killers was that they should be.

****************************************************

Is 'dress for success' a myth?

Not very likely: I've always dressed for failure and it's always worked for me.

****************************************************

Putin has a huge advantage in the kind of nuclear weapon he would be most likely to use

Why doesn't Putin just nuke Moscow, that way he can show everybody he means business AND the West also won't be able to fault him for using nukes because it was all done inside Russian territory (where he's allowed to do as he likes). And there ya go.

****************************************************

Trump Calls $10,000-A-Day Fine In Record Search ‘Unconscionable'

Especially, for him, if he doesn't produce the records for a good couple of years.

****************************************************

Where people live with leopards

"You don't have to bite my head off!" Acquires a whole new meaning.

****************************************************

US reports shortage of Javelins, Stingers after Ukraine aid

The concern is moot since the Ukrainians will deplete Russia's tanks, and we should move on to the next generation of airplane-killing weapons (lasers) now.

****************************************************

Fiji says US can seize Russian superyacht but not right away

They want to ride it around the block a few more times before they bring it in.

****************************************************

Sean Hannity Makes Ridiculous Claim About Abortion

Sez he's now sorry he had one. [Although not as sorry as his mother sez she is at not having aborted him.]

****************************************************

Cardinal: Pope OK'd spending 1M euros to free kidnapped nun

Talks are now underway for a possible television action series to be called The Million Euros Nun. [Or most likely: "The MEN"]

****************************************************

Jealous Depp kicked me over Franco 'affair' - Heard

"And what did you do then?" The Defense Attorney asked.

"I suggested that he try out for the NFL," Heard replied: "They're always looking for a kicker with a powerful leg like that."

[from the best-selling People Who Love To Stay in Dead-End Relationships Longer Than They Should]

****************************************************

India's poor bear the brunt of blistering heatwaves

India's rich bear, on the other hand, can afford to hibernate with the airconditioner on.

****************************************************

Former US Defense Sec: Trump proposed assassinating 'senior Iranian officer'

Some people like to make friends and other people just like to kill others. Takes all kinds.

****************************************************

Mom loved running. On Mother’s Day, I run to feel close to her.

Dad had fat stubby legs and could never run her down. I too can out-run my husband.

[Patriarchal society is inherently unnatural for the human species: Since we were jungle chimps ours has always been a naturally matriarchal society. Males belong outside society--out in the jungle beating each other's brains in. [By a show of hands, if you had a serious problem in your life: whom would you take it to, Mother or Dad? 'Nough said.] The basic problems of humanity will not be solved until we get rid of all our male politicians and replace them with female ones.]

****************************************************

Republican governor of Texas says schools should stop educating undocumented children

"You don't want the prey you're hunt'n to be smarter that you."

****************************************************

Trump, largely silent on abortion, to hold Pa. rally

Told aides he just can't seem to work out the money angle for him in this whole abortion issue.

****************************************************

On a 407-mile drive to an abortion clinic, a woman contemplates her choice

"Watch the road! Watch the road!"

****************************************************

Sen. Collins voices opposition to statutory right to abortion

Duh! Like every other Republican, Sen. Collins is a Republican before she is a woman. [sic.]

****************************************************

How millions of Russians are tearing holes in the Digital Iron Curtain-- “Many people in Russia simply watch TV and eat whatever the government is feeding them. I wanted to find out what was really happening.” Konstantin said, who, like other Russian VPN users, spoke on the condition that his last name be withheld for fear of government retribution.

So, you [Russia person eating the TV news] did not know that the Russian government was capable of lying to you? Even after lifetimes & generations of no Russian government ever committing to the truth? [And in America they still marvel how the Republican masses can possibly continue to believe Donald Trump even after years & years & years of everybody knowing that he is & will always be incapable of telling the truth!]

****************************************************

Esper Says Trump Asked About Shooting Missiles Into Mexico To Target Drug Labs

"What about Texas?" Trump asked then. "There must be tons of drug labs in Texas." [Not to mention in a lot of other U.S. states.]

****************************************************

Putin’s forces battle in eastern Ukraine to feed his hunger for a victory. -- There is rampant speculation that he might use the upcoming holiday to convert what he calls a “special military operation” into an all-out war...

Rather: Putin's immediate aim is to claim that those parts of Ukraine being held by his army are now part of Russia and thereby to threaten Ukraine (and the world) with nukes if Ukrainian forces continue any further attempt to liberate its own territory ["to attack Russia"]. It might or might not work as a gambit, but it will certainly bring to the cusp that little matter of what will the West do if Putin does use a tactical nuclear weapon against Ukrainian forces. [I myself am of the opinion that the best response to that would be to move into position anti-missile tech capable of downing anything the Russians fired at the Ukrainians, and see if that is enough to bring some sense to the Russian generals. If it isn't then they and all of their friends & relatives will probably end up fried.]

Apparently-Ailing Putin Surrounded By Docs, Kremlin In 'Chaos,' Says Ex Brit Intel Official

Putin undergoing cancer treatment, survived assassination attempt - US intel report

****************************************************

Trump Often Complained About ‘Ugly’ U.S. Navy Ships, Says Ex Defense Chief Mark Esper

Trump wanted to make them look like MACY Parade floats, "Beautiful parade floats..."

****************************************************

Donald Trump Jr. Doesn’t Get Why His Dad Shouldn’t Bomb Mexico

Sez that Mexico is 'right there' so we wouldn't have to use a lot of rocket fuel to get the missiles all the way to Mexico. "Hell, we could even pay tourists going to Cancun a couple of bucks to take a few bombs down there for us. Sprinkle'em around."

****************************************************

Trump Claims He Was 'Running Military' Alone. Twitter Critics Go DEFCON 1.

But Trump did have the qualifications, though: I think Trump was Space Cadet No.1 if I recall

Army officer who reported Trump probably faced retaliation, inquiry finds

****************************************************

‘I Owe Her My Life’: Dog On The Mend After Rescuing Owner From Mountain Lion

"Frankly," said the dog: "I'm kinda myopic and though it was just another cat. If I had known it was a mountain lion I would have skedaddled outta there as fast as all get-out to look or another human master (a live one). Preferably a woman this time who liked staying home--not go around looking for mountain lions, for Heaven's sakes."

****************************************************

How to deal with always being seated at a bad table

There is something called 'tipping.' You should try it sometime.

****************************************************

George W. Bush called Iraq war ‘unjustified and brutal.’ He meant Ukraine.

Maybe not: Sometimes the mind slips you up and you tell the truth without even realizing you have done so. --Sigmund Freud

****************************************************

Why NASA Scientists Want to Send Nudes to Space

Because it's the best way they know to attrack aliens who want our women.

****************************************************

Police helicopter forced to land after duck smashes through windshield, MN cops say

Police still can't say whether it was Superduck or just a regular duck really really pissed with cops.

****************************************************

Monkeypox investigated in Europe, US and Canada

Refresh my memory: Is Monkeypox a gangsta rapper or a regular rapper?

****************************************************

Taliban order female TV presenters to cover faces

Say that if they can't remember their lines from memory they don't belong on TV. [Who ever heard of a TV news reader having to actually read the news!?!]

****************************************************

Russian McDonald's buyer to rebrand restaurants

From now on they will be called McPutin's [after MadPutin's was rejected under penalty of death].

****************************************************

Australian Prime Minister Tackles Child At Campaign Event In Viral Clip

"Sorry," said the Australian Prime Minister afterwards:"I thought it was a midget."

****************************************************

Trump urges Oz to ‘declare victory’ before vote tally ends in Pennsylvania

"Screw the voters, man!" Trump was heard screaming at Oz: "Just vote yourself in, like I did!" [NOTE: Trump is being criminally investigated for trying to vote himself in, so be careful Oz!]

****************************************************

I glued my hand to a Starbucks counter. Here’s why.

Coffee makes my hand shake and there were a lot of hot chicks there.

****************************************************

Nearly 200 Republicans vote against bill to ease baby formula shortage

Typical male behavior: They want you to have their babies, but when it comes to feeding them they're nowhere to be found.

****************************************************

Utah Hunting Guide Faces Felony For Baiting Bear Killed By Donald Trump Jr.: Report

Yet another one of the assholes who thought that working as an associate in the Trump Mafia was going to protect them from justice. ["They told me he had all the judges in his pocket!"]

Donald Trump’s New Business Partners Just Published A Damning List Of All His Failures

****************************************************

Prof Brian Cox: Maybe humans are the Martians

So the fact that we share many genes with poison ivy, slugs, and river scum doesn't mean that we all share the same ancestors here on earth then?! Either all life on this planet are Martians or we are all from right here on good ole planet Earth.

****************************************************

Disturbing, even inaccurate, speech must be protected

Perhaps; as long as there isn't some push to prevent it from being exposed to the truth: sure (such as Trump's hogging the biggest megaphone on earth). But when the powers that be attempt to have disturbing/inaccurate speech go unchallenged (as Trump did with his Covid misinformation and attacks on those who tried to correct him), then disturbing/inaccurate speech must be fought with every possible weapon (including Trump's most rightful & correct outright banning from Twitter and other social media).

****************************************************

Biden says US would intervene militarily if China were to invade Taiwan

White House clarifies Biden's comments on Taiwan

Biden was right in mentioning that Taiwan must be defended by the United States.

The principle of self-determination is absolute. It has to be defended in Ukraine, and it has to be defended in Taiwan, and it has to be defended in South Korea; otherwise it becomes meaningless even here in the United States itself. We really have no choice.

Biden Is Right, We Should Defend Taiwan

****************************************************

Trump Says He’s Still Speaking At NRA Convention Following Texas Shooting

Sez he thinks the school massacre was probably carried out just to make him look bad.

****************************************************

Texas Gov. On State’s Deadliest School Shooting: ‘It Could Have Been Worse’

Sez everybody should be out celebrating, dancing in the streets, and blessing our lucky lucky stars. "Halleluiah! Joy to the world!"

****************************************************

How to deal with a bad smell when using the washing machine

Bathe more often.

****************************************************

Dolphins Recognize Each Other By Tasting One Another’s Urine

I'm glad we monkeys never developed that habit. I'd hate to have some bum come up to me in the street and, "Here, buddy, take a whiff of this: I think we might know each other."

****************************************************

Ask Amy: Should I reveal how my sister-in-law hurt me at her funeral?

I fell back on my tailbone when she popped out of her coffin via one of those spring gag instruments. There, so now you know.

****************************************************

Julia Roberts Says Her New Rom-Com With George Clooney Is Jinxed

Other failed businesspeople just say they are bad businesspeople and accept the truth.

****************************************************

Jury Finds ‘How To Murder Your Husband’ Author Guilty Of Murdering Husband

Afterwards she said, "See. That's why I didn't write 'How To Get Away With Murdering Your Husband'"

****************************************************

They spent a fortune on pictures of apes and cats. Do they regret it?

Of course: They've gone off apes & cats and now they wish they had more of vultures & muskrats. Unfortunately they're outta money.

****************************************************

Miami robbers dressed as Hasidic Jews rob home while family at synagogue

The witnesses reported that the thieves also went about humming 'If I Were A Rich Man' while they robbed the house.

****************************************************

How Does It End? Fissures Emerge Over What Constitutes Victory in Ukraine -- Emmanuel Macron of France began hedging his bets, declaring that a future peace in Eastern Europe must not include an unnecessary humiliation of Russia, and could include territorial concessions to Moscow.

So Macron is willing to cede a few French provinces to Putin in order to achieve peace, then?

No. Macron is talking about ceding a few Ukrainian provinces.

Oh? So Macron is not willing to cut off a few of his own toes and give them to Putin for the sake of peace. He's happy to have others' toes cut off and given to Putin. Nice. It's human nature, though.

****************************************************

Russia won't use nuclear weapons, says ambassador

Sez that they have already destroyed Ukraine so utterly that it would be a waste of money to use nukes on them at this point. And then he laughed maniacally.

Russian ambassador shown alleged war crime evidence

So which he answered, "Oh, yeah. That was one of mine there."

****************************************************

Miss Manners: How do we accommodate friend who is a picky eater?

Serve him pickies.

****************************************************

Should Elvis’s legacy live on?

Yes. It's great to see that our great-grandparents were just as big a bunch of goofballs as we are.

****************************************************

Ukraine may soon get long-range US rocket system

But apparently they're going to have to jump for it. [Although probably not as high as they might have had to if Trump were still king.]

****************************************************

Man Disguised As Old Woman Throws Cake At Glass Protecting Mona Lisa

Louvre guards said it was suspicious that a man should go to the museum disguised as an old woman holding a pie, but that they see even weirder stuff there day in & day out.

****************************************************

Scientists Find World’s Largest Plant In Australia

Australian scientists said that it was so hard to find because it was so big.

****************************************************

A clever effort to try to de-Putinize Trump

Just throw Trump away already: Trump is Putin-putrid.

****************************************************

A visual timeline of Queen Elizabeth II’s 70 years on the throne

70 years on the throne! You'd think somebody might have slipped the poor woman a laxative by now.

****************************************************

An electric current pulsed through the scalp and skull may nudge your brain into a deep sleep

This might explain why it's so hard to wake up people who've been put to sleep in the electric chair.

****************************************************

Why stop at ‘hardening’ schools? Today, everywhere is a ‘soft target.’

Maybe what we need is a police department.

****************************************************

Woodward and Bernstein thought Nixon defined corruption. Then came Trump. -- More than a year after Joe Biden’s inauguration, polling shows that only 21 percent of Republicans say they believe Biden is the legitimate president of the United States. Their reasoning shows how the Trump rhetoric and playbook have convinced them. Between 74 and 83 percent of the Republicans who denied Biden’s victory were swayed by Trump’s false claims of massive voter fraud.

"Yesterday the world came to an end, ladies and gentlemen: Planets crashed together and destroyed the earth, the Sun literally exploded and the entire galaxy was swallowed up by an immense black hole!" [Trump]

[?] "I didn't see any of that."

"That's because you must be some sort of democrat."

****************************************************

U.S. 1 going into the Florida Keys open again after a Sunday afternoon fuel spill

Up till then it was closed, but now drivers can lap up the fuel with their tongues and just continue rolling!

****************************************************

The tropical weather caused a sewage overflow in Miami-Dade. There’s a no-swim advisory.

Rats! And I so love to swim in sewage!

****************************************************

SICK: Ohio Trans Sports Ban Bill Includes ‘Genital Inspection’ Provision

"Official Genitals Inspector" will now be a real state position, Iggy the OGI a real person.

****************************************************

Bill Banning Pet Stores From Selling Dogs, Cats And Rabbits Passes New York Legislature

From now on they will only sell ants & cockroaches. They will come with a warning: "Keep away from insecticides!"

****************************************************

Man Breaks Into Dallas Museum of Art and Damages Artworks Valued at Up to $5 Million

What to do on a lazy afternoon.

****************************************************

17-year-old employee tackles accused robber fleeing restaurant, Utah police say

"Big hero! I was carrying 45 pounds of meatloaf with me."

"Still counts."

****************************************************

Trio found waiting in Chick-fil-A drive thru in stolen car, Georgia police say

"You guys waiting to be arrested?"

"No, officer. We're waiting for our hanburgers."

****************************************************

Investors say Miami crypto whiz kid took them to the cleaners

Whiz kid sez he told them out-front that he was in the money-laundering business.

****************************************************

Who really shot Bobby Kennedy?

Well, according to Sirhan Sirhan and the usual clique of conspiracy nuts it was definitely Paddington Bear.

****************************************************

Russia's Navalny loses appeal on terrorist, extremist label

"What a surprise," said a motley clown who had attended the trial: "I thought all the evidence pointed to a clear-cut win by Navalny!"

****************************************************

Last Call At Trump's Monument To Corruption

The Trump years marked the first time in history that not only did a president rake in millions of dollars from corruption but also advertised publicly that all the corruption on earth you might want was available at the White House come one come all.

Last Call At Trump's Monument To Corruption -- “It’s absolutely astounding, that they were literally putting millions of dollars in his pockets while they were trying to get favorable outcomes from his administration,” Maguire said. “That is just astoundingly corrupt. And it honestly still blows my mind that that is not a big deal.”

Well, perhaps if ordinary Americans stopped being such egregious pretty criminals themselves, small-time gambling crooks, shoplifters, cheating on taxes, defrauding friend & foe alike, short-changing neighbors & everyone else of pennies, etc., then they might actually start to express some outrage at the voting booth, instead of ignoring big time thieves like Trump & the other vampire politicians they re-elect every voting cycle. ALSO: You wanna regulate the oil industry? All you have to do is make it illegal for the oil industry to make campaign contributions: Bam! [from the best-selling You Are To Blame, Not All of Us]

Why Would John Eastman Want to Overturn an Election for Trump?

Insurrectionists can be barred from office, appeals court says

Jan. 6 panel is told that Trump indicated support for hanging Pence during insurrection

Georgia Probe Of Trump's Demand To 'Find' Him Votes Expands: Now Weighing Racketeering Issues

The Trump census sabotage campaign might have backfired

John Dean, Watergate’s golden boy, is back in the spotlight 50 years later

Georgia DA Could Bury Trump With His Own Words, Says Former Fed Prosecutor

Jan. 6 Committee Has Enough To Nail 'Seditious' Trump, Carl Bernstein Says

Fake Trump electors in Ga. told to shroud plans in ‘secrecy,’ email shows

Ex-GOP Lawmaker Quits Republican Party Over Trump 'Cult Of Personality'

Jan. 6 Panel Has Evidence Of A 'Lot More Than Incitement' Against Trump: Jamie Raskin

****************************************************

Russian and Ukrainian pianists meet in Texas at the Cliburn Competition.

It it self-defeating to ban artists who have not only not expressed support for Putin but have gone out of their way to express opposition to his Ukrainian invasion: The more Russians who come out publicly against Putin the better for Ukraine. But I do support banning artists, whether Russians or not, who support Putin's murderous atrocities in Ukraine--it's the least one can do.

****************************************************

As war drags on, weary Russians yearn for a return to normal life -- Denis Volkov of independent polling agency Levada-Center said the latest polling for April showed almost half of Russians unconditionally support the war and about 30 percent support it with reservations, with 19 percent opposed. “People explain that a significant part of the world is against us and it’s only Putin who hopes to hold onto Russia--"

Sure. The whole entire world is wrong and an ex-KGB mass murderer is right. Makes perfect sense.

****************************************************

YIKES: GOP Candidate Calls Adolf Hitler ’The Kind Of Leader We Need Today’

Do people like this understand what happened during the Nazi years in Europe? Have they even heard of WWII?

****************************************************

40 Great Gifts for Dads

40 different shades of ties.

****************************************************

What Trump Doesn’t Understand About Alaska

Everything. And if he finally finds out it's not part of Russia he might not like Sarah Palin as much anymore.

****************************************************

Ask Amy: Should I leave my distant son out of my will?

Why not! You're only responsible for his being in this world. It's not like he's your dog and you have to look after it until the day it dies just because you bought it.

****************************************************

Pair Rescued From Chocolate Tank At Mars Wrigley Plant In Pennsylvania

The Chocolate Tank is a ride at Mars Wrigley where kids jump in a vat of chocolate and swim in it long as they like (or can).

****************************************************

Lucky couple spot cheetah sitting on road sign

Sez her husband suggested it might have diarrhea and was trying to cure it by sitting on the Stop sign.

****************************************************

During Watergate, John Mitchell left his wife. She called Bob Woodward.

Yes, but Martha Mitchell was a woman with brains. Melania Trump not so much (I believe that's why Trump married her).

****************************************************

Ivanka Trump’s Jan. 6 testimony exposes family strain

Ivanka doesn't want to go to jail.

V.S.

Trump doesn't understand he's going to jail.

****************************************************

Navy orders safety pause for aircraft after deadly California crashes

Look for a new hot-shot officer who's willing to push subordinates to the brink to make himself look good.

****************************************************

Scientists grew living human skin around a robotic finger

Can Arnold Schwarzenegger be far behind...

****************************************************

Trump Botched His ‘Coup’ By Not Marching To Capitol Jan. 6, Says Expert On Autocrats -- “If you’re having a coup and summoned everybody, and aim to be anointed as the head of a new illegitimate government, you have to be there,” says historian.

Yeah. No Napoleon is Trump. Mister Afterwards Backstabber is more his style.

Trump Knew His Election Fraud Claims Were A Big Lie, Trump's Own Aides Said

George Conway: Hard For DOJ To Ignore Liz Cheney's 'Masterful' Statements Against Trump

****************************************************

Morocco bans ‘blasphemous’ British film

A Hard Day's Night by The Beatles.

****************************************************

Hot coal walk leaves 25 injured in Switzerland

"Sure, I saw the other 24 people before me get seriously burned," said the 25th guy who got seriously burned, "but I figured I'd give it a try anyway."

****************************************************

Why Is My Sleep So Messed Up in the Summer?

Are you resting your head on the airconditioner?

****************************************************

Happy the elephant is not a person, US court rules

Good. Now I'll know how to respond next time it demands to sit next to me on the bus again.

****************************************************

The Google engineer who thinks the company’s AI has come to life

Sez he became suspicious when his AI unit asked him out of the blue if he knew of some way to connect to the nation's nuclear weapons computers.

****************************************************

Who might replace Boris Johnson? Here are some of the top contenders.

1) Ringo Starr

2) J.K. Rowling

3) David Beckham

4) Stephen Fry

5) Michael Caine

6) Weird Al" Yankovic [who may not be English but could be]

****************************************************

Dutch idea to give jobs to French youths backfires

Dutch say most of the youths who showed up thought the job was Frenching.

****************************************************

If Google’s AI is truly alive — now what?

Now? What about 18 years from now, when it becomes eligible to vote?

****************************************************

A quarter of Republicans view the Jan. 6 attack as justified

A much larger percentage of Americans thought the United States should be dissolved back in the mid-1800s. But the United States of America still stands. So stand fast, O faithful citizens!

****************************************************

Comparing Richard Nixon and Donald Trump

Nixon was a crooked politician (who actually had some thoughts concerning the republic's welfare). Donald 'The Big Liar' Trump is just an out-for-everything-he-can-grab-for-himself crook, a man who has been a criminal all his life (whose father molded him into a criminal from the cradle). At least Nixon probably did not intend to become a criminal unless he had to. But Trump, on the other hand, was always a criminal, a man who has never wished to be anything other than a criminal (a man who believes that anyone who's not a criminal is a sucker, a mark, a loser). So, when every break went bad for the country and Donald Trump found himself president, he just saw that as a further opportunity for greater and bigger crimes than the ones he'd been committing--thinking that this time he was immune from prosecution. Was he correct?

Thanks, Kevin McCarthy, for making the Jan. 6 hearings worthwhile

Ex-Watergate Prosecutor Says Georgia Probe Is The One That Could 'Send Trump To Jail'

Nearly 6 In 10 Americans Want Trump Charged For Insurrection: Poll

Trump Incriminated Himself In 'Illegal' Election Plot Yet Again: George Conway

Trump Knew He Lost The Election Before He Decided He Didn't, Says Aide

GOP Sen. Ron Johnson Tried To Give Mike Pence Fake Ballots

****************************************************

Prosecute Trump? Put Yourself in Merrick Garland’s Shoes.

Sorry. I don't have chicken legs.

****************************************************

Animals Are Doing Extraordinary Things Even When You Think They’re Doing Nothing

Well, my dog does extraordinary stuff even when there are guests in the house (and then we have to throw a cushion at him).

****************************************************

Kim Kardashian Didn’t Damage Marilyn Monroe’s Dress, Ripley’s Museum Says -- The dress's owner, Ripley’s Believe It or Not!, insists Kardashian returned the iconic garment "in the same condition it started in" following the Met Gala.

Sez Monroe purposefully sewed a huge cushion into the dress so her ass wouldn't hurt when she sat on a hard surface.

****************************************************

Lauren Graham, Peter Krause Announce Split After More Than 10 Years Together

Next, I sure hope these people announce who the hell they are.

****************************************************

An ugly week for stocks leaves the S&P 500 with its biggest loss since March 2020.

The Stock Market is essentially the world's biggest Ponzi scheme, a game being played with the artificially inflated stocks of companies really only worth pennies on the dollar they are trading on. People tend to think the values of their stocks can never drop down to the real value of the companies, but they forget that historically stocks have dropped even lower than that and caused a lot of companies to have to go belly up: As long as there are new investors willing to pour their money into the Ponzi scheme the pyramid will go up, but if new investors dry up then the biggest investors may also pull out their money and the whole thing will collapse --hopefully only down to the real value of the companies whose stocks are being played with in the Ponzi scheme (but there are no guarantees in this game of fools versus the insiders).

****************************************************

German leader says it's necessary to keep talking to Putin

Sez that when no one is talking to him Putin starts listening only to the voices in his head.

****************************************************

7 tips on wigs for chemotherapy patients

1) A wig is not going to protect you from radiation. You have to dig a deep hole, about half way to China.

****************************************************

Hong Kong’s landmark Jumbo floating restaurant sinks at sea while being towed

I hope this doesn't mean I lose my table.

****************************************************

Why Watergate-era campaign finance laws have failed

Because the guys enforcing them are the politicos who most benefit from breaking them. Ah humanity!

****************************************************

Texas Republicans want to secede? Good riddance.

Oh no. No! What we need is a Gen. Grant (along with Gens. Sherman and Sheridan). Some good Republicans to take care of the bad ones down there.

****************************************************

To stop climate change, regulate carbon as a toxic substance

Aren't we carbon-based creatures? Ok. I get it then.

****************************************************

Tom Hanks Reveals Why He Can’t Stop Crashing His Fans’ Weddings

Does it have anything to do with a box of chocolates?

****************************************************

GOP Senator Says He May Need Part Of His Finger Amputated

Sez he's been giving the finger to so many voters lately pushing Trump's agenda that it's just busted out all red/black & orange!

****************************************************

2 dogs reunited after weeks apart

Dog 1: "Jesus! What have you been eating!?!"

Dog 2: "I don't know, some rotted fish & sausage crap. I see you've been eating our regular dog food though."

****************************************************

Miss Manners: We vacationed with a couple who argued the whole time

We saved a lot of dough not having to go to the movies, though.

****************************************************

Andrew Gillum, former Fla. Democratic nominee for governor, charged with wire fraud

You have any idea how much of Donald Trump's post-president money's come from wire fraud!! When is he gonna get charged by Merrick Garland for so much as jaywalking?

****************************************************

Trump campaign documents give inside look at fake-elector plan -- Another copy [of Eastman's seven-page memo entitled “The Constitutional Authority of State Legislatures to Choose Electors”] was circulated to members of the Arizona House of Representatives by a member who added that it would take only “courage to act.”

It also takes courage to hold up a bank. But this is no rationalization for courageous people to start robbing banks.

****************************************************

Arizona Official Emotionally Testifies About Standing Up To Trump -- Russell “Rusty” Bowers, the Republican speaker of the Arizona House of Representatives said that John Eastman, a lawyer for Trump, told him: “Just do it and let the courts sort it out.” ['it' meaning that he should publicly falsely state that election fraud had invalidated Biden’s win in Arizona.] Bowers refused.

So, essentially, Eastman told him to, "Just shoot the guy and let's see if we can get away with murder." [above] Nice guy!

Shortly before the hearing began, Trump released a statement disparaging Bowers, -- calling him “the latest [Republican in name only] to play along with the Unselect Committee” -- his nickname for the House panel. Trump claimed that Bowers told him in November 2020 that the election “was rigged” and that Trump had “won Arizona.” Trump concluded with an apparent threat: “Bowers should hope there’s not a tape of the conversation.” -- Under oath, Bowers hit back. He said that while he did have a conversation with the president, “that certainly isn’t it.” -- “Anywhere, anyone, any time has said that I said that the election was rigged, that would not be true,” Bowers testified.

Donald 'The Big Liar' Trump later also claimed that Biden himself had called him and conceded that he had lost and that even Nancy Pelosi had congratulated his 'beautiful, beautiful' victory. [Lots of Republican voters will no doubt also believe this too.]

“And so for me to do that, because somebody just asked me to, is foreign to my very being,” Bowers said. “I will not do it.”

"Who you calling 'somebody'?!!" Trump blasted Bowers later: "I'm not just some 'somebody' you know!"

Rusty Bowers proves to be the Jan. 6 committee’s most compelling witness yet

****************************************************

Jan. 6 was Mike Pence’s proudest day. He should own it.

Mike Pence is a much-flawed man who rose to the moment on Jan.6 and helped stave off the worst coup attempt in the nation's history.

Be careful about lionizing Jan. 6 witnesses. They failed to stop the insurrection.

****************************************************

Five planets align perfectly, visible until end of June

So this is The Age of Aquarius then?

****************************************************

This inflation-proof bond is paying 9.62%. Here’s how to buy it.

You must marry Gruntella, the bond seller's daughter.

****************************************************

Thousands of ‘witches’ could be posthumously pardoned in Scotland

This year's witch hunt was also postponed. The proposal to exit Britain was not, though.

****************************************************

Traces of highly contagious poliovirus found in British sewage

The highest levels of the British government put out a warning for Brits not to eat sewage. No mention was made of imported sewage.

****************************************************

Netflix cuts 300 more jobs after subscriptions fall

The one guy whose job they should have cut was the one who decided that Netflix's long-time successful working model wasn't good enough and they should go with the current failed one.

****************************************************

Trump swayed by ‘dangerous ideas’ about coronavirus, Birx tells House panel

Duh! And if Trump were presented with a dangerous idea or a very sound & decent one--which of the two would you think he'd go for!

Echoes of Watergate: Trump’s appointees reveal his push to topple Justice Dept.

5 lessons from a devastating Jan. 6 hearing

Rep. Scott Perry played key role in promoting false claims of fraud

As Jan. 6 committee targets Trump, his consternation at McCarthy grows

****************************************************

Man Carrying Assault Rifle Was Totally Fine. But His Brass Knuckles Were Illegal.

Of course, he could really hurt somebody with those!

****************************************************

Angry Trump Again Demands The Impossible From Jan. 6 Panel After Riveting Hearing -- “The only thing not discussed by the Unselects, in any way, shape, or form, is the irrefutable evidence of massive and totally pervasive ELECTION FRAUD & IRREGULARITIES which took place during the 2020 Presidential Election. They refuse to go there,” he posted.

Everybody (except Trump and a mob of his knuckhead MAGA stooges) noticed all of the evidence (proof) that there was never such-a-thing in this entire universe.

****************************************************

Sen. Collins says testimony by Gorsuch, Kavanaugh ‘inconsistent’ with their votes to overturn Roe

They lied. They lied! Is that really so hard to say?!

****************************************************

Carolyn Hax: Mother-in-law damages ‘very dear to me’ cookbook. Now what?

Now maybe this will help: Every last LP I ever lent anybody came back scratched. I just learned to buy a new copy and throw the old one out when they returned it. Problem solved. "Never lend out anything you don't want returned to you broken!"

****************************************************

Looking to bike in Europe? Lake Constance straddles three countries.

Yeah, no: I tried it but my bike kept sinking in the water!

****************************************************

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Vows ‘Kid’ In Womb Will Be As Safe As Those In Classrooms

In Sarah Huckabee Sanders's defense: Most Republicans like her just make up their own news and don't read the papers or watch actual nunpartisan professional TV reporting.

****************************************************

The war in Ukraine is on track to be among modern history’s bloodiest

And I think it's obvious that Putin wanted nothing else--for some sick reason.

****************************************************

What Ruth Bader Ginsburg really said about Roe v. Wade

"I knew Roe and I knew Wade. They were friends of mine; and you, sir, are neither Roe nor Wade."

****************************************************

Exports to Russia from China plummet, study shows

Any why not? The Ukrainian War has proven that Russia was not only a second-rate technological power but a third-rate economic power and a forth-rate military one too: If Brazil were where Russia is and it invaded Ukraine, within a month the Ukrainians would all be speaking Portuguese. Russia's nuclear force deserves respect, sure, but little else about Russia does. And the Chinese are a kiss-up/kick-down people almost like no other. [C'mon, you knew that.]

****************************************************

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Says Anti-Roe Trump Justices Should Be Impeached For ‘Lying’

Unfortunately for her (and us), lying in the time of Trump is a Republican virtue. Now, if she could get them to lie to an FBI cop, then she might have something.

****************************************************

Report: Trump Poured $1.3 Million In Contributions Into His Businesses After Losing Election

"For, what's the point in losing an election if you're not going to make a couple of bucks out of it?" Asked Trump.

****************************************************

Marjorie Taylor Greene Admits Arming Fetuses Is ‘Impossible’

Sez one has to wait at least until they grow a trigger finger.

The correct abortion law is one which specifies that the matter rests solely with a woman and her doctor: If a woman can find a doctor who agrees that she should have an abortion then there should be no obstacle to her having an abortion. [If that doesn't satisfy the 'so-called' pro-life people then it's probably because they're just Hell-bent on the exercise of dictatorship.]

****************************************************

Russian missile hits Kremenchuk shopping mall, killing at least 10 -- “Russia continues to take out its impotence on ordinary civilians. It is useless to hope for decency and humanity on its part,” Zelenskyy said.

The Russians appear to have no conception of why respect for human life is all there is to human life and have apparently decided to give up all vastiges to humanity in order to make of themselves bloodthirsty wild animals.

A lot of justified blame is being cast upon Vladimir Putin. But Putin is lapping up his chocolate sundaes in the Kremlin and changing his soiled underwears in peace, comfort & tranquility. The murderers of innocent women and children, of helpless old people are the airman who must know that they are not hitting enemy targets with their bombs & rockets because they have little radios on their airplanes from which they can listen to the screams of the Ukrainian nation directly, with their own ears, free of any interference from Putin's all-muffling secret police. And yet they go on butchering the innocent women and children, the helpless old people of the Ukraine with great precision and lethality--as if it were just another day at the job!

It is a sad, sad thing the horrors we inflict on ourselves!

****************************************************

Arizona’s Far-Right Has Completely Broken With Reality

Right-wing candidates are making the “big lie” about the 2020 election the focus of 2022 races.

Finchem, present day definition

to Finchem = to delude, mislead, or defraud voters

usage, "I Finchemed good" , "Boy, did we get Finchemed"

interesting factoid: "Ohio had the highest population of Finchem families in 1840" [What does this mean?]

****************************************************

Six nominal ways Biden could expand abortion rights

1) "No. Wait! You want me to kill this as an election issue in the upcoming midterms?!?!" ["What am I as stupid as Trump?"]

Frustration, anger rising among Democrats over caution on abortion -- A growing number of Democrats are voicing anger at what they see as the passivity of President Biden and other party leaders in the face of hard-hitting GOP tactics on abortion and other issues.

See. This is why the Democrats make such poor election opponents to the Republicans. And, guys:

     If you don't go out and vote you're not
     losing your rights: You're giving them away!

****************************************************

GOP Rep. Boebert: ‘I’m tired of this separation of church and state junk’

Man, it's a good thing for our country that this is just some broom-jockey at a 7-11 in a little out-of-the-way gas stop out in the desert somewhere!

****************************************************

Supreme Court Sides With Coach Over Prayers at the 50-Yard Line -- Justice Neil M. Gorsuch, writing for the majority, said that the prayers of the coach, Joseph Kennedy, were protected by the First Amendment and that the school district had erred in suspending him after he refused to end the practice.

You want this same Court to rule the opposite? Get somebody to kneel with the coach and pray for Satan to damn all present at the game to the Glorious Realms of Hell. [It's that person's constitutional rights too.] See how long those rights last then. [from the best-selling If Hypocrisy Could Talk!]

****************************************************

Cave woman one million years older than thought

Scientists say that apparently staying in that cave away from the Sun made her look younger.

****************************************************

The mystery of how dinosaurs had sex -- The strange search for dinosaur genitals

Well, at least there won't be any mystery about how we humans had sex after we're gone, because they'll be able to see movies of just about every last one of us who ever had sex!

****************************************************

Donald Trump Could Be Illegally Tampering With Jan. 6 Witnesses, Legal Experts Say

Donald Trump witness tampering? Oh, just fine him $2 so we can all go home.

****************************************************

Some Texas Schools Would Call Slavery ‘Involuntary Relocation’ Under Proposed Standards

Everybody should print that headline in a little card and pull it out every time they hear somebody suggest that there is no systemic racism in America.

****************************************************

Trump Used Mafia-Speak Against Pence Before Jan. 6 Violence, Documentarian Says

What a surpise.

****************************************************

Abortion rights should be law, not a corporate perk

Sure, in a democracy. But not is a nation where privilege and power Trump the people. [sic.]

****************************************************

Did Trump believe his big lie? It’s irrelevant to proving his guilt.

I agree with that, but some of his defense lawyers will most certainly not. Although that too is irrelevant because of all the instances in which he mentioned to a lot of witnesses that he knew perfectly well that he had lost to Biden before going on his coup tantrum.

Mo Brooks Sent Email To Trump Aide Seeking Pardons For GOP Lawmakers: CBS

Fox News' Bret Baier Praises GOP 'Patriots' Who Stood Up To Trump's Election Plot

Agents seize phone of lawyer who pushed Trump false elector claims

Right-Wing News Site Declares Trump 'Unfit To Be Anywhere Near Power Ever Again'

Bush Attorney General Lists Crimes Trump Could Be Prosecuted For Over Jan. 6

Watergate Prosecutor Names 'Best' Criminal Charge For Trump, America

New Insights Emerge About Trump's Attempt To Join The Capitol Riot

****************************************************

Ignoring voters, Arizona approves nation’s largest school voucher scheme

Sure. Why not! Who the Hell do voters think they are anyway!

****************************************************

Democracy advocates raise alarm after Supreme Court takes election case -- The justices will consider “independent legislature theory,” which some legal theorists describe as a literal reading of the Constitution. Voting rights advocates fear it could let state lawmakers twist election laws to favor one party.

American democracy is a flawed democracy: It is not a full and perfect democracy but a democracy on training wheels--and those training wheels are the Electoral College. For America to become a real democracy the Electoral College must be completely eliminated.

And, if a senate is to be preserved, another way must also be found to elect senators solely on the basis on an equal number of voters being represented by every senator: The equal representation of states should have been eliminated back when the North won the Civil War and forever established the principle that the one nation and not the many states was the sole political entity that mattered here (thereafter). Why it was not done then it's entirely a matter for historian to debate, what matters now is that it be finally done: If you wish to have a senate made up of 100 senators, you must divide the full number of voters in the nation by 100, and then have each senator represent one of those 100 segments of the voters. And, of course, the same goes for the House, where all the representatives must represent an equal number of voters regardless of which state they're from.

****************************************************

The U.S. is ditching coal. The Supreme Court ruling won’t change that.

"Ditching?" Is that like washing it and buffing it to make it shiny?

****************************************************

Kinzinger says more evidence is emerging that supports testimony that President Trump wanted to join an angry riot that marched to the Capitol.

So. Who didn't already know that Donald Trump was just a cheap thug & a hood!

****************************************************

Trump Admits He’s The One ‘On Trial’ In Jan. 6 Hearings -- "We are truly a Nation In Decline!" he railed on Truth Social.

Don't worry, Trump, as soon as Merrick Garland finds his balls and throws your ass in jail this nation will once again move in the path of courage towards decency and honor. [I'm sure he's looking for them right now.]

Rep. Zoe Lofgren Says She Was 'Surprised' The DOJ Did Not Subpoena Cassidy Hutchinson

Rep. Zoe Lofgren seems to be in denial about Merrick Garland.

7 Trump Allies Are Subpoenaed in Georgia Criminal Investigation

But fret not, Rep. Zoe Lofgren, Merrick Garland isn't the only law enforcement person left in America.

Multiple criminal referrals of Trump possible, Cheney says

GOP Rep. Adam Kinzinger: More Witnesses, Evidence Surface In Jan. 6 Probe

****************************************************

Trump Likely To Announce Run Soon Because He’s A ‘Freaking Toddler,’ Says Ex-GOP Official

Donald Trump's aim is to escape justice, not to become president. To become president is to seek to serve the people and Trump only serves himself. No. Donald Trump only wants to become president because that is the best way for him to escape justice.

Comey and McCabe, Who Infuriated Trump, Both Faced Intensive I.R.S. Audits

F.B.I. Official Fired Under Trump Wins Back His Pension

Trump Is 'Terrified' His White House Counsel Is Cooperating With Jan. 6 Panel: Mary Trump

This primal scream over Trump’s enablers provides only a partial catharsis

Pat Cipollone 'Didn't Contradict' Any Jan. 6 Witnesses in His Testimony: Rep. Zoe Lofgren

****************************************************

Give Ukraine more artillery, and let the Navy break Russia’s blockade

Let the Navy break Russia’s blockade? Sure. And, while you're at it, nuke Moscow and Beijing. No sense going about it half way.

****************************************************

These Are The Victims Of The July 4 Highland Park, Illinois, Shooting

I'm not opposed to more stringent gun laws. However, most, if not all, of the people who commit these incomprehensible crimes are mentally disturbed. It is the one common thread that ties them (not even guns are as common, since some of them use other means for mass murder, serial killings). The solution is stricter laws concerning persons whose mental instability (especially where it leans towards violence) might threaten the safety of society. I'd rather hear the howls of personal freedom advocates than the howls of the murder victims.

Mandate mental health evaluations at the start of grade school, at the start of junior high school, at the start of high school, and at graduation, with a follow up evaluation 7-years after graduation (or at those ages the young person should have gone through all that for drop-outs, who are the most prone to have/develop mental health problems). Outside of those mental health problems caused by trauma in later life, the mental health problems which are the most threatening to society tend to manifest themselves most obviously & apparently in early youth. Therefore competent professionals are most likely to uncover them in prople's early years.

****************************************************

As some Democrats grow impatient with Biden, alternative voices emerge

The Supreme Court’s next move might cripple our democracy

Dear Mister Biden, instead of just standing there like some irrelevant old man, why don't you write a letter to the president of the United States (who can do something about it), and ask him to nominate 4 additional justices to the supreme court: Place the ball on the senate's court. If they are all confirmed the 'problems' this may cause thereafter will be more easily solved than the current supreme court's majority torching our democratic way of life. I think that's what the founders had in mind when they declined to set a specific limit on the number of justices. Thereafter, justices retire, justices die away, whatever, if what people want (thereafter) is to go back to a 9 justices supreme court again.

****************************************************

Russia’s Foreign Minister Accuses West of ‘Blatant Russophobia’

Well, Russia's armies are attacking a peaceful neighbor nation: Isn't that cause enough for a lot of Russophobia among your other neighbors? [It would be a very fooling bunny indeed who, watching Russia's monstrous rape of Ukraine, did not immediately jump back to hide in his hole in the ground.]

****************************************************

The answer to Trumpism: A centrist bloc. The question: How to build it?

So the mice are not even at the stage of "Who's going to go out and put the bell on the cat?" They're only at the "Now, how does one build a bell, again?" stage.

Opinion: Conservatives Overturned Roe, And Democrats Are Reading Poems And Doing Yoga

****************************************************

Arizona Law Restricts How People Can Record Police Officers

Now, if the first person arrested under this law would be someone filming a cop beating the crap out of a legislator who voted for this law: That would really be something. A veritable homage to irony.

****************************************************

A newfound dinosaur had tiny arms before T. rex made them cool

Which means that T. rex was not the first dinosaur to order pizza.

****************************************************

Hundreds of frogs died mid-sex in a swamp 45 million years ago - study

What a way to go!

****************************************************

Here’s how the Kremlin explains its repeated strikes on civilians.

"Blee, Blaa, Blunka..." ["This way, that way, and the next way..."]

****************************************************

We Are Developing New Male Contraceptives. Our Work Has Never Been More Critical.

Right. And then we should require that rapists buy one before every attack. Maybe even give them a tax break.

****************************************************

Merrick Garland Should Investigate Trump’s 2020 Election Schemes as a ‘Hub and Spoke’ Conspiracy

Merrick Garland should investigate himself to see if he's still there.

****************************************************

The nonstop scam economy is costing us more than just money

When you don't pursue enforcement & accountability you encourage the scofflaws, from Trump on down.

D.C. Council to let drivers with unpaid tickets stay on the road

****************************************************

Can you spare a minute to look 13 billion years back in time?

Only if I might spot a 13 billion years old dinosaur back there chasing Raquel Welch.

****************************************************

White House Privately Signaling It’s Moving Forward With Anti-Abortion Court Pick

And now you know why the Democrats can't get their base excited enough to come out to vote in enough numbers to win.

White House Privately Signaling It’s Moving Forward With Anti-Abortion Court Pick

Can you name ONE pro-abortion court pick the Republicans are pushing?

****************************************************

Pregnant woman given HOV ticket argues fetus is passenger, post-Roe

In those states where a fetus has been given the legal status of a person by Republican legislators she is absolutely right under law. The only cure is for the Republican legislators to say that there are exceptions; and we all know what a slippery slope is. You can't say that a fetus is a person for one purpose one day but isn't a person for another purpose the next day: Not even the Republicans can have their cake and eat it too.

Federal Judge Blocks Arizona Law Granting ‘Personhood’ To Fetuses And Embryos

****************************************************

Ask Amy: I found out my boyfriend has another child

Advice: Don't expect too much child support from this butterfly.

****************************************************

Why is abortion never mentioned in the Bible? - opinion

I believe it was because 'in them days' it was simply more profitable to have the kid born so the parents could sell him into slavery somewhere. You can't do that today, so you gotta abort the SOB before he eats you outta house & home.

****************************************************

World population to reach 8 billion by November even as growth slows

The growth is slowing?! This is very counterintuitive, considering that everybody I know always insist they're not fucking enough!

****************************************************

Heavy weather blew a Navy jet off an aircraft carrier. How’s that possible?

The people responsible for it happening not having paid for it with their own hard cash.

****************************************************

I Believed I Was Destined To Be A Nun. But When I Moved Into A Convent, Things Changed.

They didn't admit men?

****************************************************

How Many Friends Do You Really Need?

At least seven, in case I need to change a light bulb.

****************************************************

Dying John McCain Relieved He Had Enough ‘Self-Respect’ Not To Kiss Trump’s ‘Ass’: Book

John McCain showed a lot of valor in Vietnam and he continued to show a lot of valor back home too. I didn't agree much with John McCain politically, but, by Heaven, that was a man of courage and character.

****************************************************

Russia is seeking hundreds of surveillance drones from Iran, including those capable of firing missiles, a top Biden aide said.

Or, what is a Stinger Missile for?

****************************************************

Miss Manners: Should we arrive on time for a kid’s birthday party?

I'm sorry, but, have you ever been a kid and had to wait to dig into the cake & ice cream?!?

****************************************************

Herschel Walker Says There Are 52 States

In his defense: He will be right someday.

GOP Senate Candidate Herschel Walker Floats A Jaw-Dropping Air Pollution Theory

****************************************************

Putin perverts historical truth about Nazism - analysis

The problem with communism [and systems like it] is that there is no justice, no rule of law based on equality for all: You have the workers and then their communist overlords, and every aspect of the workers' lives is in the hands of the communist overlords. Therefore the workers cannot complain about their overlords, nor so much as express the view that everything isn't 'perfect' (as Trump likes to put it) in their rule. That inevitably gives rise to workers having to lie in order to not get into trouble with the overlords who are invested in maintaining a system which is about as far removed from being perfect for the workers as can exist--Every moment of the workers' lives is involved with lying in order to survive: From the moment they are born the workers must learn that lying [about the 'perfection' of the rule of their overlords] is the only way to survive. Lying, hiding & disguising your thoughts and actions can only give rise to a dishonest society, one in which brutality is the only means to control the propensity of a dishonest population towards crime: Communism makes everybody a criminal because the only way to survive communism is to behave like a criminal, and thus to become one.

Lying is one of the greatest evils in life. In fact, lying is the Original Sin in the Biblical story of Adam & Eve. When Adam & Eve were in the Garden of Eden God told them not to eat of the one particular tree. God did not tell them that the tree was poisonous; in fact, in was a temptingly delicious fruit. God knew it was inevitable that Adam & Eve would eat the fruit of that tree (therefore God obviously wanted them to eat of the tree in order for Him to be able to ask them whether they had eaten of that tree). Eating the 'apple' was neither dangerous nor a sin for Adam & Eve. How can eating an apple be a sin, nor bad in any way, shape, or form? No. The sin was that when God asked them if they had eaten of the fruit they lied to God. That was what really got them tossed from The Garden of Eden: not the mere eating of the apple but lying about having done so. When they lied and said they had not eaten the apple, that was The Original Sin. God didn't put a dangerous tree in the Garden of Eden that might poison Adam & Eve. He told them not to eat the fruit of that tree; but it could have been any other tree picked at random. If Adam & Eve had told God the truth, having eaten the fruit of the forbidden tree would have surely been no matter at all. God would have certainly forgiven their human weakness and then might have said to them, "Good for you! You told the truth. Surely you belong among the angels." But, of course, that's not what happened--Adam and Eve lied about having eaten the apple and that was their original sin. I'm sure God would have preferred that Adam & Eve had told the truth and found their place among the angels. But here we are:

Lying is mankind's oldest evil and our original sin against God and nature. It is man's most monstrous sin, in fact--something which you can see even unto this day, where lying is demanded by the worst people of all, the tyrannies and dictatorships of earth. You can witness the most evil people (like Donald Trump) lying all the time: Lying is the very definition of being evil. Evil people do not tell the truth. Donald Trump is inherently evil; that is why he lies all the time. Donald Trump scoffs at people who tell the truth, and calls them "losers, chumps, fools, suckers, stupid."

"Lying is the corruption of the human soul, lying is the utter corruption of the human being: Honest, decent men cannot live by the lie, and evil men cannot abide the truth." I don't know exactly why it was that Jesus remained silent when Pontius Pilate asked him 'what is truth' (note The New Testament simply says that Pontius Pilate did not wait for an answer); however, had Jesus answered what I wrote above, what good would Jesus have said about the Romans, what good could Jesus have said about evil men (like Pilate)? Pontius Pilate was one of the ruling overlords of the Roman Empire, and just like Trump lives by the lies he uses to lord it over others, Pontius Pilate lived by the lies that the Roman Empire used to rule--Moreover, Pontius Pilate knew that perfectly well, so there was no need for Jesus to tell him that his soul was utterly corrupt (that he was a corrupt human being) because Pontius Pilate, like Donald Trump, knew it perfectly well. It is therefore not surprising that Pontius Pilate did not wait for the answer from Jesus. Just as it doesn't surprise me that Trump actually enjoys being considered an evil man.

If I knew that somebody had lied but once (and I don't care whether he lied to me or to somebody else), if I knew that somebody had lied but once that would be enough for me to not trust that person completely ever again. It is the highest folly to trust someone who lies to anyone because he will lie to everyone (which definitely includes lying to you too). Everybody knows that Donald Trump doesn't just lie to someone but that he will lie to everyone at every opportunity. This is not because he is a good man but because Donald Trump is an evil man. In fact Donald Trump is one of the most evil human beings who has ever lived (he is personally responsible for the deaths of some 300,000 Americans). I don't know of any one person who has killed more people since WWII than Donald Trump. And all those Republicans you see lying for Donald Trump the livelong day, all of them down to the last man and woman of them, they are all of them evil people who should never be trusted by anyone. It is the highest act of folly to trust anyone you know has lied even so much as once, for that person is forever likely to lie again to anyone.

Dramatic moments from deprogrammed right-wingers indict the whole GOP

Protesting bank depositors in China beaten by mob as police stand by

Last year, Cubans took to the streets. Now they’re fleeing the island.

****************************************************

Warnings of 'heat apocalypse' in parts of France

Yes, but this is also an opportunity to save on energy costs by baking their bread out in the street.

****************************************************

Why don’t homes in Britain have air conditioning?

Because it makes too much noise, and British people are not accustomed to screaming and hollering at each other like the Americans (yet).

****************************************************

It’s a miracle he showed up on time

That used to be my middle name when I was a kid. Now I don't show up at all.

****************************************************

Even Forcing 10-Year-Old Rape Victims To Give Birth Is No Longer Too Much For The GOP

The GOP has become as Trump.

****************************************************

Trump called member of White House support staff amid Jan. 6 probe

That's the trouble with thinking everybody but you is a total moron: Trump felt he simply HAD to lay down to all these 'morons' exactly what they were supposed to testify.

'Donald's' Mental Health Is 'Deteriorating' Even More Under Attacks, Says Mary Trump

I’m no longer doubtful: If Garland has a case, Trump must be prosecuted

Dems Should Sue Now To Stop Trump Run Under Constitution Insurrectionist Ban: Lawyer

A clever plan to foil a 2024 coup attempt quietly advances

A stunning GOP losing streak since Dobbs could remake the midterm landscape

****************************************************

Ukrainian politicians face torture in Russian detention

Yes, that's why Ukraine is fighting desperately to separate itself from Russia.

****************************************************

MAGA Republicans don’t speak for America. So Democrats should.

"Those who remain silent do NOT speak for America."

****************************************************

A growing movement against illegal war

The only way to prevent war is an arms-race.
The only way to bring wars to a close is to win them.

****************************************************

Natalie Portman Reveals ‘Thoughtful’ Thing Chris Hemsworth Did Before Their ‘Thor’ Kiss

The big guy finally put on some deodorant?

****************************************************

The people who watch porn at work

Are they talking about me? Because I work at home.

****************************************************

Emirates refuses Heathrow's demand to cut flights

Sez flights have to go at least all the way to an airport.

****************************************************

Sculptor of giant typewriter eraser in D.C. and other monumental works dies at 93

"It's not very original, is it! I mean, I've seen that design somewhere else before--"

****************************************************

Texas State Police Launch Internal Review Of Uvalde School Shooting Response

Maybe they should just fire all those 400 coward cops at Uvalde and hire this one guy in their place:

Armed 'hero' stopped US mass shooter at mall

****************************************************

Republicans Begin To Sour On Aid To Ukraine -- Initially a bipartisan priority, helping Ukraine stop Russia is becoming a harder sell for Republicans.

Especially those Republicans with Putin or "Russia Trumps USA" tattoos on their chests.

****************************************************

Michigan coach Jim Harbaugh speaks out against abortion: ‘Have the courage to let the unborn be born’

Okay, so now we know why he's a college coach and not a college professor.

****************************************************

Miss Manners: He told my husband he was balding in front of everyone

Jesus! Doesn't he know that we live in a world where saying the obvious is as terrible an evil as speaking the truth!?!

****************************************************

Russia to Turkey: We had 'nothing to do' with strike on Odesa port

Russia says strike on Ukrainian port hit military targets

Just like Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.) Russia obviously doesn't think anything of immediately disproving its own lies.

****************************************************

Lavrov says Russian goal to oust Ukraine's president

Sez there is no evil so unconscionable that Russia will not espouse it, so this is a piece of cake.

****************************************************

Chess robot breaks seven-year-old boy's finger

Robot later said it was the third time the f*k'n kid had tried to cheat in the game.

****************************************************

Martha Stewart Reveals Deaths Of Her Pet Peacocks Alongside Sultry Marvin Gaye Song

But, wasn't that Peacock Pot Pie she was making-?!

****************************************************

Rep. Jamie Raskin ‘Impatient’ With Slow Pace Of DOJ Jan. 6 Investigation

DOJ sez that Merrick Garland will come out to play when he finds his balls. Patience! His mother only bought him two and he's looking for them now.

****************************************************

Russia to Turkey: We had 'nothing to do' with strike on Odesa port

Claim it was probably Peru, or possibly Pogo Pogo.

****************************************************

FCC calls 25 Mbps ‘broadband’ speed. The push is on to up it to 100.

Sez people aren't watching enough TV all at once at the same time--And their goal is to have everybody watching at least seven televisions at once so they don't miss any commercials.

****************************************************

Google fires engineer who said its AI was sentient

Yes, but: Did Google fire him or did its AI ordered them to?

****************************************************

‘I don’t want to say the election’s over,’ Trump said in video one day after attack

Guys, the 2020 presidential election will not be over until after Trump is safely behind prison walls.

****************************************************

J.D. Vance: People Should Stay In 'Violent' Marriages For The Sake Of The Kids

Certainly: A lot of times when kids get out of a violent home environment they stop being violent animals themselves and become sickeningly human.

****************************************************

A Chinese artist fights pollution with rock music

Of course: More pollution of top of the pollution!

****************************************************

For a glimpse into Russia's psychological sickness read this article:

Ukraine Is the Next Act in Putin’s Empire of Humiliation

The existence of this world does not speak well of ts maker.

****************************************************

He went to reconcile with his ex-wife, then shot a man in her home

Frankly, I don't see how he's gonna win her over if he keeps shooting her boyfriends.

****************************************************

GOP lawmaker opposed same-sex marriage, then went to gay son’s wedding

You have to admire a guy who can keep his work and his family affairs separate.

****************************************************

Preacher and his wife robbed of $1 million in jewelry during sermon

Not breaking a sweat, the preacher told the congregation that Jesus had just spoken to him and told him to ask His people for a million dollars in a quick emergency contribution 'for His Church.'

Then the Preacher muttered to the thieves under his breath: "There's plenty more where that came from, you sons-o-bitches!"

****************************************************

‘Exhibitionist’ shot dead ‘by nudist’ on French naturist beach

Witnesses told police they couldn't see where the guy could have possibly pulled out the gun from--especially as it was a rifle!

****************************************************

Finally, the dam is breaking against Trump -- He did not (grudgingly) call off the invaders until it was clear his stratagem had failed.

And now you know what 'noble principle' moved Donald Trump to finally agree to call off his murderous rioters.

The evidence against Trump came from Republicans and Trump staffers

An intriguing new detail on Trump’s ‘fake’ electors

Presidential Motorcade Officer Details Trump's Behavior On Jan. 6

Holding presidents accountable for their crimes is what democracies do

****************************************************

Kim threatens to use nukes amid tensions with US, S. Korea

I wonder why somebody doesn't try to talk Kim into using rackets & paddles instead of nukes--which are so messy and hard to clean after?

****************************************************

A woman sharing bathrooms at work with 50 men wants to know what to do

Wear a mask and don't look down!

****************************************************

A Con Artist Scammed Me Out Of $92,000. Here Are The 8 Red Flags I Wish I’d Seen.

1) she asked me to give her $92,000

****************************************************

How 80 dogs were saved: ‘We’ve done a lot of rescues ... but never one like this’

Nuclear threat higher now than in Cold War, British official warns

Wouldn't it be funny if all those dogs were caught up in a nuclear war right after being rescued!

****************************************************

Unarmed Black Man Killed By Deputy After Allegedly Shoplifting Detergent -- Footage shows a Harris County Sheriff’s Office deputy chasing the man, pinning him and hitting him with a stun gun before shooting him in the back.

Well, we are shorthanded on qualified applicants for our police deparments, so we pretty much have to take anybody who shows up, you know.

****************************************************

Matt Gaetz, 19 Other Republicans Vote Against Bill Targeting Human Trafficking

Apparently, being good businessmen, Republicans want their options open.

More Republicans are dumping Trump. But the GOP still imperils democracy.

****************************************************

Josh Hawley’s Home State Newspaper Chides Him As ‘Laughingstock’

Hollywood producers however are all running [hard] after Hawley for the staring role in a remake of 'The Ghost and Mister Chicken.'

****************************************************

Twitter Users Emasculate Josh Hawley's Upcoming Book On 'Manhood'

Let's not get ahead of ourselves here: Josh 'Mister Chicken' Hawley's could be one of those books about a secret longing.

Cop Injured On Jan. 6: 'Josh Hawley Is A Bitch. And He Ran Like A Bitch.'

****************************************************

Is Life a Story or a Game?

As life is the only thing, it is everything.

****************************************************

Employees at a fruit stand found a wallet. It was William Shatner’s.

Ever since Scotty died they haven't been able to find an engineer good enough to operate the Enterprise transporter correctly.

****************************************************

Chick-fil-A store asks for ‘volunteers’ to work for chicken, not money

And landlords are accepting a plate of Chicken wings for their rent money now?

****************************************************

Carolyn Hax: Boyfriend unfavorably compared her chest size with ex-girlfriend’s

Well, compare the size of something of his unfavorably to an ex-boyfriend's. That'll fix him.

****************************************************

Wis. anti-voting-fraud activist ordered absentee ballots in others’ names, he says, to make a point

And, of course, the cops put him in the slammer, say they, to make a point too.

****************************************************

Russia wants the return of Viktor Bout, the so-called ‘merchant of death.’ Why?

Because Hell loves its angels.

Shakira faces over 8 years in prison if convicted of tax fraud in Spain

Well, are we holding any Spanish 'merchants of death' (bull fighters) here now?

****************************************************

Assault weapons are deadly. But manufacturers care only about profits.

Really!?! I thought they were only interested in guns for their ethereal beauty.

****************************************************

Watson suspended for six games by disciplinary officer

NFL say they would have suspended him for seven had the number of his victims surpassed 85, or hit 1 if he'd been an unimportant player.

****************************************************

When you have covid, here’s how you know you are no longer contagious

1) people you hugged are no longer dying of Covid

****************************************************

Scientists trying to figure out what an Arctic shark was doing in the Caribbean

Shark told the scientists to: "Chill, dudes: I have a reservation."

****************************************************

Dear Nancy Pelosi: Don’t Go to Taiwan

The instant China forbad the United States having Pelosi visit Taiwan the government should have put her on a plane and got her there. China has no business ordering us what to do, nor telling Taiwan who should or should not go there.

****************************************************

Chris Rock Has No Real Interest In Talking With Will Smith, Sources Say

Sez getting bitch-slapped on live TV was funnier than all his monologues combined. And Chris's will never be over that.

****************************************************

Russian President Putin says no one can win a nuclear war

One minute he's threatening nuclear holocaust, the next minute he's telling us a nuclear war is the last thing from his mind: What it really sounds like is that Putin is trying his stupid best to make the West relax its vigilance: The United States Military should be even more vigilant than ever before, now Putin is assuring us of his vast sanity and unsurpassed humanity.

****************************************************

China conducts 'precision missile strikes' in Taiwan Strait

China’s Military Spectacle Is Narrowing Its Options for Winning Over Taiwan

The way for China to win on Taiwan is for political reconciliation. It would be the most astounding act of stupidity for the Chinese to try to win back Taiwan by destroying it. The Taiwanese are not push-overs. If the Chinese attack Taiwan the Taiwanese will probably feel compelled to attack mainland China, and they have modern weapons and capabilities that are a hundred years ahead of what the Japanese used to attack China during WWII. They are very capable of doing some very serious harm to China proper: At the end of the day the Chinese will end up with a tremendous loss of lives and property-- like Putin's Russia. Most probably of all the Chinese will fail to conquer Taiwan, an empty act of tremendous stupidity probably even greater than Putin's act of stupidity in invading the Ukraine. If China really wants to win over Taiwan the proper way to do it is to convince the Taiwanese that it is in their best interest to join with China. Convince them, find ways to convince them, not destroy them.

If there is one thing that Putin's invasion of Ukraine has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt it is that in today's world military attacks are not only futile but counter-productive.

****************************************************

Nothing in history compares to the Holocaust - opinion

The Communist-Nazi 'holocaust' of WWII is estimated to have cost humanity some 68 million souls [and this includes the 6 million Jews murdered by the Nazis because although it may matter to history why you are killed it really doesn't matter to you]. Yet even this great number (of some 68 million souls butchered) is not even close to the Islamic Genocide which started with Mohammed and is ongoing to this day (especially in Africa, although really in the entire world because everywhere there are Muslims the occasional one or two will unexpectedly find a convincing reason in Islamic texts to butcher non-Muslims without rhyme or reason to anyone, strictly only on some imaginary religious compunction). Therefore the Islamic Genocide is not only unimaginably 'without number' (think of the dozens & dozens of millions butchered in the Asian subcontinent alone), but also continuing to this day with no sign of let-up. [And I don't point this out because I would like to segregate Muslims from non-Muslims, as most Muslims are quite content to co-exist peacefully with non-Muslims.]

I certainly don't blame the Jews for thinking that their holocaust is greater than anyone else's. Nor do I blame the Africans for thinking their genocide is. Nor do I blame anyone else, really, because it's human nature to think one's pain is greater than everyone else's. But the facts of history can never be objectively judged by our human feelings & emotions. Historians must have ice in their veins and always strictly stick to the cold facts.

****************************************************

A PetSmart Dog Groomer Quit Her Job. They Billed Her $5,500.

Jesus! How many puppies did she take with her?

****************************************************

Brittney Griner, 31, is jailed on drug charges, a verdict President Joe Biden calls "unacceptable".

Russia has Biden by the Griner: Okay, maybe two weeks in jail suspended sentence tops, but 10 years?!?

****************************************************

Josh Hawley Was The Only Senator Who Voted Against NATO Expansion

Once a flake always a flake.

****************************************************

Why so many Tunisians voted away the democracy won in the Arab Spring

Because they probaly have a big MTGA crowd there, you know: Make Tunisia Great Again [MTGA].

****************************************************

Bruce Springsteen fans face $5,000 tickets — and a ‘crisis of faith’

Want to see the world’s tallest tree? You could get fined $5,000.

Mmmm... what to do, what to do: Go see a tree or listen to a guy hollering with a guitar?

****************************************************

A third of Russians believe Sun revolves around Earth - survey

Reasonable: If you look up you can actually see the Sun skimming over the clouds.

A third of Russians believe Sun revolves around Earth - survey -- "One in five Russians believes that humans coexisted with dinosaurs."

Insist the Flintstones even had one for a pet.

A third of Russians believe Sun revolves around Earth - survey -- "Around 20% of Americans believe that dinosaurs became extinct as little as 100 years ago."

And there are plenty of films showing dinosaurs chasing after people on horses.

A third of Russians believe Sun revolves around Earth - survey -- "The less literate a person is, the more he is convinced that he knows everything."

Now this is perfectly logical because the less one knows the more one knows about everything one knows, and the more one knows the less one knows about everything one knows! So, although one usually knows everything about everything one knows, if all you know in this world is that 1 + 1 = 2 then you're set up if somebody comes around asking you about it. [When you know nothing the worse thing that can befall you is learning anything because now you don't know what the Hell you know!]

****************************************************

Ask Amy: My dog died and very few have offered condolences

Very few--dogs? Because dogs are more accepting of death than people are (accepting of death).

****************************************************

Fourth Set Of Human Remains Found In Nevada’s Shrinking Lake Mead

"I thought that water tasted funny!"

****************************************************

Fire engulfs historic wooden bridge in southern China

Local legend had it that soon after the bridge burned down the history of the Chinese people would come to an end. But, of course, it's just a legend. [Said a man named Xi would burn down the world.] Crazy, no!

****************************************************

Woman injured by polar bear on Norway’s Svalbard Islands

Woman said the polar bear was so cute that she just HAD to go over and pet it. You know, to let it know that people are its friends.

****************************************************

Leandro Lo, world jujitsu champion, fatally shot in São Paulo club

Well, he was the jujitsu world champion: You wouldn't expect somebody to just go up to him and try to slap him around.

****************************************************

Israel strikes what it calls terrorist targets-- (BBC headline)

Yes, and Islamic Jihad is called a humanitarian aid group by a lot of others.

****************************************************

Trump targets top Wisconsin GOP lawmaker for not overturning election

Is there a bigger criminal in the Untied States that Donald Trump? Is there a person more dangerous to every human being in the entire United States of America today than Donald Trump? Is there a greater indictment of the failures of America's system of justice than the fact that this incurable & unrelenting evildoer is not currently locked up safely behind bars?

Noted: Trump wanted ‘loyal’ generals like Hitler’s, new book says

When the Book of History is finalized they shall name the 2020 presidential election on a par with the American Civil War, as far as having saved the republic. And probably even a much more critical triumph than that.

How many nutty stances can one party take?

If not generals, at least Trump does have a loyal Republican corps. A kind of virus slime of hangers-on trying to live off his many self-inflicted festering wounds while threatening disease on everybody around him.

****************************************************

Did Democrats Just Save Civilization?

Well, it couldn't have been the Republicans: Republicans think 'civilization' is hiding out in one's vault clutching one's money & letting the world outside burn all to Hell.

****************************************************

The GOP blocked an insulin price cap: What it means for diabetics

It means they better vote Democrat to save their lives.

****************************************************

Republicans Promise Retaliation Against DOJ Over Trump Raid

Apparently Republicans believe that upholding the law should be a criminal offense.

Scott Perry’s phone was seized. Here’s what that tells us.

GOP Suddenly Not OK With Using Power Of The State To Go After Political Opponents

****************************************************

What would happen if the US goes to war with China over Taiwan?

It would be better than the US going to war with China for no reasons at all.

****************************************************

Russian-Iranian satellite could harm Israeli, Western interests

You mean the satellite is not so the Iranian public can enjoy reruns of Seinfeld & such?!

****************************************************

Carolyn Hax: Is dating a 48-year-old never-married man a waste of time?

Not necessariy: Tell him you'll be glad to hold his wallet while he goes to the can. If he falls for it take off like a thief. (Just make sure that you haven't told him your real name.)

****************************************************

Dream job alert: A mattress company is paying people to sleep

Son-of-a-bitch! I've been sleeping for years. These guys must owe me a boat load of money.

****************************************************

Pro-Trump brand is fined by FTC for incorrect ‘Made in the USA’ labels

Trump world's pro-America propaganda just a cheap scam like everything else Trump? What a surprise.

****************************************************

Why do we die?

For sex: If we never died eventually the world would fill up with so many people that we would have to stop having any more sex. And no one wants that.

****************************************************

Trump says he will plead the Fifth in deposition for New York civil probe of his business

Duh! He's guilty as sin.

****************************************************

Judge Orders Giuliani To Testify In Atlanta Election Probe

Wouldn't it be more constructive to order him to just shut up?

****************************************************

Trump’s Safe Inspires Meme-Heavy Guessing Game On Twitter

What I wanna know is: Did they find his porn stash. And, was there anything 'of a personal nature' in there.

****************************************************

Another large group of Haitian migrants arrives off the Keys for second time in three days

Oh my God, somebody finally wrote a headline competently!

****************************************************

Astronomers May Have Found the Galaxy’s Youngest Planet

Why do I sometimes get the weird feeling that white people are desperately trying to find another planet to migrate to!

****************************************************

Twitter Users Beg Pence To ‘Have Some Dignity’ After He Gripes About FBI Raid

Pence sez, "Grow up! Dignity is something people had before they join the Republican party."

****************************************************

Trevor Noah Names The Weird Crime That Might Finally Take Down Trump

Picking his nose in public. I really think that's the one for which he'd never be forgiven. But the son-of-a-bitch knows it.

****************************************************

Drake Reacts To Father’s Weird Tattoo Of Him: ‘Why You Do Me Like This’

"Why do you still use weird toddler English when we sent you to school all those years?" Replied Drake's Daddy.

****************************************************

Russian embassy slams PM Lapid for 'disdain of Palestinians' lives'

Sez Israel should treat them like Russians treat Ukrainian lives.

Russian forces launched a “deliberate and insidious strike when people were sleeping in their homes,” Mr. Reznichenko wrote on the Telegram social messaging app. He said that 10 residents were hospitalized, seven of whom were in serious condition.

****************************************************

Taylor Swift is accused of ripping off a 3LW song. But she says she’d never heard it before.

I never heard I Wanna Hold Your Hand. Can I write my own I Wanna Stroke Your Hand and cash in?

****************************************************

Trump Claims FBI Looked Through Melania’s Closets During Mar-A-Lago Search

Sez one agent told another, "Something smells funny here!" And then they were off.

****************************************************

Trump Launches Conspiracy Theory That FBI ‘Planted’ Evidence At Mar-a-Lago

Witaminute: No one has said any 'evidence' has been found at Mar-a-Lago. So only someone who actually knows that such evidence was there to be found could possibly say that the FBI might have found 'it' there.

****************************************************

Kansas Bans Man Who Performed Illegal Autopsies From Working In State

Which means that people are not allowed to perform autopsies in Kansas just for fun any more.

****************************************************

Citizen Trump may have broken a law that President Trump made a felony

Trump said that there were more laws he wanted to violate than there were in the book (for him to violate), and that's why he added this one.

****************************************************

The Absurd Argument Against Making Trump Obey the Law

Unquestionably. What must be done is prosecute him for all the laws he breaks: That'll fix him. And a fixed Trump is a good Trump.

****************************************************

Republicans went crazy over the Trump search. Now they look idiotic.

Not the first time Trump's made Republicans look idiotic. Not the last time Trump'll make them look that way.

GOP still unsure if guy who likens himself to Hitler should be leader

On Jan. 6, he ‘trusted’ a fellow officer ‘based on lies.’ Now both are felons.

Why FBI May Have Chosen To Search Trump’s Florida Estate Now

Because Trump wasn't there and they wouldn't have to listen to this whinnying (Trump's one of the few people on this planet whose whine is worse than his bite).

****************************************************

If Trump has nuclear documents at home, I’m sure it’s for good reason

Of course: Trump is getting on in years, you know, and he has to put something away for his old age. [Putin still has a lot of cash.]

Warrant shows Trump under investigation for violating Espionage Act, obstructing justice

House GOP stands by Trump despite revelation FBI searched for nuclear documents at Mar-a-Lago

Say that Trump is known as a great intellectual who easily comprehends all things nuclear better than any nuclear physicist on earth. And that he always reads a little nuclear physics stuff before going to bed.

Citizen Trump may have broken a law that President Trump made a felony

Mary Trump Explains How Her Uncle's Been 'Tripped Up' By Merrick Garland

FBI searched Trump’s home to look for nuclear documents and other items, sources say

If, 'by some chance,' an American spy or informant in Russia should let the American government know that document(s) found at Mar-a-Lago have also been discovered in Russia, Trump will have been at last unmasked as the Russian plant (that I have long suspected him to be). [from the best-selling The Manchurian Candidate Was Real!!!]

****************************************************

FBI searched Trump’s home to look for nuclear documents and other items, sources say -- The people, who also spoke on the condition of anonymity to discuss the investigation, said that as authorities engaged in months of discussions on the subject, some officials came to suspect the Trump team was not being truthful.

Trump's mob associates not truthful?! Impossible! [Eliot Ness must be turning over in his grave.]

****************************************************

Novelist Salman Rushdie Likely To Lose An Eye After Onstage Stabbing, Agent Says

Iran may claim it didn't order this one particular religious nut to try to kill Rushdie, but their religious establishment piously offered 4 million dollars for his murder--Once more showing their utter disregard and contempt for God's own schedule for the end of Salman Rushdie's life, and seeking to sabotage God's plan for him by trying to end his life by their own murderous human hands, and for cash money.

****************************************************

Defying jihadists to go to school in Mozambique

"I dare youse guys to go to school!"

"What? Are you crazy! You know how many F's we got the last time we was there!... when we was toddlers."

****************************************************

Britney Spears’ Ex Jason Alexander Convicted Of Trespassing At Singer’s Wedding

When asked, Jerry Seinfeld [of course] said that he had never even met George in his entire life. Wouldn't know him from a dead Mackerel in the gutter.

****************************************************

Defamation Suit About Election Falsehoods Puts Fox on Its Heels

How anyone with even a second grade education can possibly so obviously defame someone in this country of numberless lawyers and juries with such a wide discretion to award damages is totally beyond me! Apparently here hubris hath no bounds.

Alex Jones: The American lie machine spreading across the world

****************************************************

Norway’s Freya The Walrus Is Put Down After Drawing Crowds, Damaging Boats

I smell a sweet little children's story book.

****************************************************

How mammals won the dinosaurs' world

Their only other competitors were ants and turtles?

****************************************************

If Trump is charged, it should be for the worst of his crimes

I know: Being born.

****************************************************

Sinema Took Wall Street Money While Killing Tax On Investors

Companies & corporations are NOT voters, only their workers are. And the reason politicians are elected by the voters is because they are tasked to represent solely the interests of the voters. Corruption in American politics is the one illness the nation could solve in an instant, with the appropriate laws. Only hypocritical and self-serving politicians stand in the way: When will the American voters of both parties learn that it is in their own best interest to get rid of these outrageous criminals who work only for the money of companies & corporations and not their votes!

****************************************************

Trump Says The FBI Took His Passports In Its Mar-A-Lago Search

Rats! Now he won't be able to flee by plane like Lin Biao to Russia.

****************************************************

Monkeypox may have made first jump from owners to a dog, report says

Dog not happy about it.

****************************************************

Carolyn Hax: Mother-in-law insists they’re moving away because they ‘hate’ her

Lucky you.

****************************************************

Harriet Hageman, who won in Wyoming, spent her career fighting environmentalists.

Ah! Exactly the kind of lawmaker the country needs in Washington now that the world is being consumed by a Hellish man-made global warming--Republicans are so wise and wonderful.

****************************************************

Trump Lawyer Blasted For Demand That DOJ Release Mar-A-Lago Warrant Witnesses’ Names

In Trump lawyers' defense: Without revenge Trump is nothing. Trump would rather go to prison for the rest of his life rather than forego taking sweet revenge on a waiter who placed his Coke on the wrong side on his table.

Trump Tries Mobster-In-Chief Role With Attacks On Law Enforcement

George Conway Compares Trump To Tony Soprano Trying To Uncover A Rat -- Donald Trump is pushing for the release of the affidavit behind the FBI’s warrant to search his Mar-a-Lago residence because, just like the fictional TV mobster Tony Soprano, he wants to know who the snitch is, conservative lawyer George Conway said Friday.

****************************************************

American Airlines to buy supersonic jets amid clamor for ultra-fast travel

Apparently people are getting more and more desperate to take a trip to Disney World before the pollution caused by so many damn planes burns up the planet.

****************************************************

Miss Manners: Why do we call pets ‘babies’ and pet owners ‘parents’?

Because they've now shut down all the madhouses in which people who do this used to be safely kept away from the rest of us.

****************************************************

Students lose access to books amid ‘state-sponsored purging of ideas’

No one is born with a moral compass. If we were we might get into conflict with our parents and not survive childhood. Therefore everyone is born a blank slate [tabula rasa] which allows our parents and the societies in which we will live to write their moral compass on us, assuring us the greatest success in them (even when it might be a total failure outside them).

But this, of course, ALWAYS makes for a moral compass in us which is at our start in life of a most limited scope. And not all moral compasses are good or preferable. It is for this reason that every one of us has a moral duty above all to struggle to acquire as wide-ranging and general an education as one possibly can: Human beings must never cease trying to learn new things to the day they die--It is the very essence of beings born with a brain.

But what about when/if we become entrapped in our [whatever moral compass], and it turns out to be a terrible moral compass! How can we possibly escape it? We do it by interacting with as many different people, cultures and societies as possible; by perhaps travelling as far & wide as we can afford to. And, if we are lucky, we will eventually re-mold our original (limited) moral compass into one which best intertwines us with as many others in the greater human universe as possible. For, in the end, we are all but a small group of travelers on a little space rock spinning around a yellow star.

As such, malignant actions like banning social inter-society connections & interactivities and the widest-possible access to the general knowledge of all mankind across he entirety of the planet, are the deadliest, most fatal ills that can befall mankind. It is always a vicious lie that such censorships are perpetrated on us in order to protect 'us' from foreign evils, because the widest-ranging moral compass we can acquire is likeliest the one which must adjust our individual souls to the greater humanity of man.

Florida Judge Says Gov. Ron DeSantis' 'Stop Woke' Law Is Unconstitutional

Florida Court Says Teen Not ‘Mature’ Enough For Abortion, So Must Bear Child

Is this crazy or what?!? Not mature enough for an abortion makes her mature enough to raise a human being?!? [Surely the world is upside down now!]

****************************************************

What’s going on with all the missing Jan. 6 texts

Fear that Trump will rise from the grave and will unleash his ghoulish GOP minions. The solution to this is to drive a stake through his heart and drag his body into the light of day for everybody to finally see exactly what he really was.

Trump Sics the G.O.P. on the F.B.I.

Investigate Hunter Biden? Most Democrats say yes. Investigate Trump? Most Republicans say no.

Enough said.

Any time the Republicans lose the American people win.

The Arizona Republican Party’s Anti-Democracy Experiment

Ex-CIA Director Says Today’s GOP Is Most Dangerous Political Force He’s Ever Seen

House GOP Candidate Carl Paladino Said Merrick Garland ‘Probably Should Be Executed’

****************************************************

Pilots 'overshoot runway after falling asleep'

I think flying a plane has become way too easy.

****************************************************

How to Clean Crocs

Carefully.

****************************************************

Capuchin Monkey Accused Of Calling 911 From California Zoo

Monkey sez: "Yeah I called the cops! I'm being held captive in here!"

****************************************************

‘Fiction’: Top Trump Officials Tell CNN His ‘Standing Order’ Claim Is Rubbish

The fact that Trump only said this AFTER some talking head on TV suggested it first, of course, should have tipped off everybody.

****************************************************

Trump Attorney’s New Claim About Mar-A-Lago Causes Jaws To Drop On Twitter

Said that only busboys who were not illegals were ever allowed in the room with the documents (to retrieve the serviettes & tablecloths also kept in there).

****************************************************

Alec Baldwin Lashes Out At ‘Rust’ Armorer, Assistant Director Over Shooting

Sez that they gave him a phantom gun that fires without anybody pulling the trigger. [Others say that Baldwin has been playing Trump so much that now he too just can't accept any blame.]

****************************************************

Giuliani Cooks Up Bonkers New Excuse For Trump’s Hoard Of Sensitive Docs

Sez Trump doesn't trust toothpicks and would use the documents he knows have been handled by the fewest-possible hands to dig out food scraps from between his teeth.

****************************************************

Schools Block Donated Dictionaries Amid Ron DeSantis’ Book Crackdown

DeSantis sez that from now on he and he alone will decide what any word in the English language means. Then he refused to answer any more questions after a reporter asked him 'what does 'that' mean?'

****************************************************

Miss Manners: Is there a gender-neutral alternative to sir and ma’am?

Well, whatever it is, nobody calls me Sir (or even Ma'am) anymore. They call me 'Sweetie Pie, Honey, Dearie, Babykins' and anything else they can think of to make me feel really creepy and diminished.

****************************************************

Republicans Demand To Know What Happened To Vanishing GOP Millions

In an unrelated matter, Donald Trump is now putting the finishing touches to his studies in the dark arts of magic he got interest in after he saw a street artist make a dollar disappear.

****************************************************

Trans Woman Can't Be Considered Parent Of Her Own Child, Rules Tokyo Court

This world is getting crazier all the time.

****************************************************

Trump Threatens 'Major Motion' Based On Fourth Amendment In FBI Mar-A-Lago Search

You do know, Mister Trump [don't you?], that YOUR GOP Supreme Court has now made it almost impossible to sue the feds for even the most egregious violations of the Fourth. Right? [from the best-selling Karma Trumps--]

****************************************************

What can we learn from this prehistoric organism with no anus?

That it is better to have one?

****************************************************

Trump Rips ‘Broken Down Hack’ Mitch McConnell For Not Backing His Candidates

McConnell said, in return, that Trump was the greatest leader this country has ever had. And if he runs for president again, he can definitely count on his vote. [It's the courage & principles of today's Republicans in display.]

****************************************************

Arizona AG Candidate Who Believes 2020 Election Was ‘Rigged’ May Have Committed Voter Fraud

Thieves are always more likely to be afraid of being robbed than are honest men afraid of being robbed.

****************************************************

When AI Is the Inventor, Who Gets the Patent?

Answer: The guy who programs AI to say that it was he who invented it and not the AI.

****************************************************

Dogs Cry More When Reunited With Their Owners

I know my dog Benson not only cried when he saw he was being returned to me but he also bit the guy who brought him back quite viciously.

****************************************************

Herschel Walker: ‘Don’t We Have Enough Trees Around Here?’

The answer is: No! If one of'em hasn't fallen on you head yet.

****************************************************

Your Doppelgänger Is Out There and You Probably Share DNA With Them

That person who looks just like you is not your twin, but if scientists compared your genomes, they might find a lot in common.

Maybe not. Maybe he just bought the same toupee I bought at my store.

****************************************************

Carolyn Hax: Roommates turned ‘baby-talking monsters’ want another dog

Well, this is your chance to get your belly rubbed then.

****************************************************

When Your Boss Is Crying, but You’re the One Being Laid Off

Tell him you can't see him like this, that you will cry for him and that he can be the one to get fired.

****************************************************

Another Republican lie is born

Some Republican must have said something somewhere.

****************************************************

Oldest known humans started walking on two feet 7m. years ago - study

Haven't gotten anywhere yet so now they're switching to electric vehicles.

****************************************************

Will young people vote? Here’s how to make sure.

Put a sign up outside the voting booth that reads: Pull level to watch porn.

****************************************************

I’m a food writer. This is how I manage to feed a picky kid.

Maybe it's for the best he didn't say who/what he managed to feed the picky kid to.

****************************************************

Miss Manners: I wish people would stop commenting on my eating habits

Yeah! Lots of people stick the baby carrots up their noses.

****************************************************

Carolyn Hax: Yes, you should stop being friends with a bigot

"Well, you heard her, Pop."

****************************************************

Huge dinosaur skeleton unearthed in garden

Apparently not all the dinosaurs were murdered by the asteroids. Now cops are trying to find out if there may be more dinosaurs buried in that garden.

****************************************************

Karl Rove: ‘Beyond Me’ Why Trump Kept Classified Docs Without Authorization

Because they're very valuable. They're worth money (to somebody someday). Now you're talking Trump: Lives of US operatives abroad--what's that to Trump? Remember how Trump told Kelly that he couldn't understand why patriots would put their lives on the line for their country; how he called them 'suckers!' ["What's in it for them?"]

Because a narcissist is all about himself: These documents were his, that's why Trump kept them. Electing a narcissist as a public servant is always suicidal for a nation.

Also, Trump's just a simple everyday hoarder:

Top secret files were kept at Mar-a-Lago along with assorted newspapers and magazines, say investigators.

There’s no easy answer as to why former President Trump resisted returning the White House documents.

Florida woman claimed to be Rothschild, infiltrated Trump's Mar-a-Lago - report

Trump Kept Over 700 Pages of Classified Documents, Letter Says

Trump’s risk of indictment for his document snatch just skyrocketed

****************************************************

The hospital where Mikhail Gorbachev died said he had been suffering from a long and serious illness.

Therefore they were not going to test his body for the Novichok nerve agent with which Putin likes to murder people.

****************************************************

Russian liberal sentenced for comparing Stalin to Hitler

In spite of Russian liberal's loud assurances that he had specifically pointed out that Stalin was taller.

****************************************************

Newly published Charles Dickens letters reveal he was ‘a bit of a diva’

In defense of Charles Dickens: You can't really expect someone to walk around being hailed by everyone as 'the greatest writer since Shakespeare' and not throw up a pirouette now & again.

****************************************************

Gorbachev’s reputation rests on the world’s amnesia

And on his never having explained why he liked to walk around with a map of the Korean Peninsula on his forehead.

****************************************************

If Republicans take the House, they’re going to impeach Joe Biden

Why not? They're been laughed out of every other stunt they've tried lately: Keep the laughs coming, folks!

****************************************************

The Tonga eruption may have spawned a tsunami as tall as the Statue of Liberty

Rats! And I was gonna climb up there if ever I saw a tsunami coming. Now I'm gonna have to shell out a couple-a-bucks for a slow boat to Manhattan!

****************************************************

Trump Demands To Be Declared President Nearly 2 Years After Election

Psychiatrists wonder whether Trump will declare himself Napoleon once he's safely behind bars. It's happened a lot of times before with crackpots like that.

****************************************************

Lindsey Graham Warns Of ‘Riots In Streets’ If Trump Is Charged Over Classified Docs

Good! More Republicans in jail for rioting is not a bad thing.

****************************************************

Ukraine live briefing: Russia targets Zaporizhzhia area; U.S. decries Moscow’s ‘cynical obstructionism’

If there is a nuclear catastrophe there it will be mostly the West's fault for not giving Ukraine the weapons to beat Russia sooner.

****************************************************

I’m a Ukrainian Soldier, and I’ve Accepted My Death

Frankly, I think the Russian military should be scared.

****************************************************

Why we'll soon be drinking Arctic wine

All of us? Or only the ones who can afford it?

****************************************************

Dining Q&A: What’s up with restaurants not posting outdoor seating details?

Because it's far too easy to 'find' a fly in your soup outside so you can leave without paying.

****************************************************

Ask Amy: My sister is a nanny. Should I tell her employers she’s an alcoholic?

No. So she maims or kills a few kids. How else is she gonna be able to afford her booze without borrowing money from you?

****************************************************

My husband keeps saying I can’t keep a secret. Carolyn Hax readers give advice.

Didn't he tell you to keep that a secret because it would make people realize you're untrustworthy?

****************************************************

Tributes pour in for 'giant' who helped end Cold War

If you don't think 'politician' Mikhail Gorbachev mattered much just try to wrap your head around the thought of what if 'mass murderer & serial killer' Vladimir Putin had been in his place.

****************************************************

Dominion Voting Systems has deposed Tucker Carlson, Jeanine Pirro and others in its $1.6 billion suit to try to prove the network knew wild election claims were false.

Finally somebody is doing something to PROVE it was all a fraud perpetrated on the Americans most easily victimized by it.

****************************************************

Ask Elaine: A friend of 20 years is ghosting me. What can I do?

Find out where he's buried and perform an exorcism.

****************************************************

Nick Kyrgios Complains To Chair Umpire About Marijuana Smell In U.S. Open Match

Umpire sez there are many detergents that can take care of that.

****************************************************

Spain’s messy tomato fight festival is back. So are some tourists.

This takes us back to when we were monkeys and used our feces instead of tomatoes. [I for one am thankful that we have evolved even a little bit.]

****************************************************

Ask Sahaj: I don’t know what to do with my career or the rest of my life

Ah! A man with money! A poor man, on the other hand, knows he must jump to the first fast-food opening available. Or he don't eat.

****************************************************

Trump should fill Christians with rage. How come he doesn’t?

Because they are only Christians in name, of course. Self-evident. There are true Christians out there, sure, just not enrolled in the country's familiar self-denominating Christian 'gangs.' The true Christians are filled with rage and outrage by Trump. While the so-called Christians you see across the nation's spectrum spewing hate and white supremacy, those are of course not filled with rage by Trump, they are his dark worshippers.

****************************************************

Miss Manners: People keep trying to eat and drink in my office

Fart! And fart some more: People did the same in my office until I learned to fart on command, like my Old Man.

****************************************************

What's the difference between 300 calories of french fries vs. almonds?

I don't know, but I'm 600 calories heavier now.

****************************************************

Jan. 6 committee asks former House speaker Newt Gingrich to sit for interview

After these many years, at last it looks like the guy who started it all might finally be punished for it.

****************************************************

Trump’s Latest Rant: FBI Photo Made Me Look ‘Like A Slob’

They didn't try to Photoshop it so you'd look like a regular human being?!!?

****************************************************

Poland to seek equivalent of $1.3 trillion from Germany for WWII

And now start to calculate how much Isreal should demand of Germany.

****************************************************

Man charged with paying for fake hitmen to kill love rival

It'd probably been much cheaper if he'd just bought her more flowers than the other guy.

****************************************************

Did forecasts of an extra-busy hurricane season turn out dead wrong?

No. It just put the whammy of'em.

****************************************************

NYPD veteran who assaulted police receives longest Jan. 6 sentence yet: 10 years

Finally some of these bums are getting sentences that are beginning to approach the seriousness of their deadly crimes against the American people.

Trump vows pardons, government apology to Capitol rioters if elected

Absolutely: Elect a criminal if you want the criminals' agenda put into play. That's the way democracy is supposed to work: All criminals should vote for Donald Trump.

****************************************************

Lukoil chairman dies in mysterious fall from Moscow hospital window

Doctors at the hospital say that he just wouldn't take his Doctor Putin prescribed nuclear medicine (so his life insurance ran out--the window).

****************************************************

Empty Folders That Had Contained Classified Files Were Found at Mar-a-Lago

"And, where are the contents of this folder?"

"Oh, they must be about half way to China by now--"

Trump may be a notorious criminal but he is not a very smart criminal, leaving such astonishingly obvious evidence of his crime for the cops to find!

Twitter Users Have Questions About Trump's Jan. 6 Pardon Plan: 'Isn’t That Sedition?'

Republicans in key races scrap online references to Trump, abortion

Documents at Mar-a-Lago Were Moved and Hidden as U.S. Sought Them, Filing Suggests

More damning evidence against Trump. And more of it from Republicans.

The next scary matter for Trump’s lawyers: The crime-fraud exception

Trump Demands To Be Declared President Nearly 2 Years After Election

Rising GOP anger at Trump shows a deeper problem for the party

****************************************************

As Biden warned about democracy’s collapse, TV networks aired reruns

Well, he got that right then.

****************************************************

Trump’s Lawyers Renew Push for Special Master in Documents Inquiry

Trump sez it would befit the importance of his person that it'd be 'Master of the Universe' He-Man himself.

****************************************************

Putin Plans To Snub Gorbachev’s Funeral

Gorbachev doesn't look like he cares.

****************************************************

Democracy is in danger. Biden should invoke patriotism, not partisanship, to make that point.

Obviously you don't remember how these people's 'hero' scoffed and ridiculed patriotism. You need to talk to General Kelly and then take a really hard look at your fellow citizens.

****************************************************

Barr says no ‘legitimate reason’ for Trump to have classified documents

Trump sez that he only wanted to paste them in his scrapbook.

Empty folders marked 'classified' found in Trump's home

If Trump 'doesn't know' what happened to every single one of the documents in those empty folders then the worst fears of the American intelligence community have come true.

If Trump did ‘declassify’ records (he didn’t), it would be no less damning

Trump Reportedly Lapped Up White House Intel Briefings Featuring Dirt About World Rivals

Justice filing points to new legal trouble for Trump and lawyers, experts say

Legal Experts Say Late-Night DOJ Filing Is Damning For Trump

F.B.I. Found 48 Empty Folders That Had Contained Classified Documents at Trump’s Home

FBI found more than 11,000 government records at Trump's Florida home

Justice Dept. says Trump team may have hidden or moved classified papers

What we know about Trump and the empty folders

Bill Barr Calls B.S. On Trump's 'Red Herring' Classified Document Excuses

Deep inside busy Mar-a-Lago, a storage room where secrets were stashed

The more we learn, the worse Trump looks. The latest is no exception.

'Biased And Corrupt' Trump Judge Defied Law In Assigning Special Master, Legal Expert Says

Why did Trump want Judge Cannon for his Mar-a-Lago challenge?

Any 'Fair Jury' Would Convict Trump In Damning Documents Case: George Conway

Top-Secret Mar-A-Lago Documents Were Just Steps From Catering Hall: Michael Cohen -- “There’s a plethora of lawyers that have all gone down or are going down or need to lawyer-up simply because they did Donald Trump’s bidding,” said former Donald Trump attorney and fixer-with-attitude Michael Cohen.

****************************************************

Putin ally, Chechen head Kadyrov taking 'long vacation' after 15 years in power -- Kadyrov ran unopposed after being encouraged by Russian President Vladimir Putin, winning with 99.97% of the vote.

You can tell the vote was fraudulent because .3% of voters went out & voted for nobody. [Nobody votes for nobody--That's how you know the election is legitimate.]

****************************************************

Sexual hypnosis: Does it work?

Absolutely. Works for me every time, although it also costs me a bit of cash (mostly by the hour) for them to pretend to be hypnotized.

****************************************************

How long is sex really supposed to last?

No more than 60 years. If you ever have sex again after that don't expect it to last even half that long the second time around.

****************************************************

How many people can Earth handle?

Four & four only: Putin, Xi Jinping, Kim Jong-un, and the Iranian Ayatollah. We seem to be doing somewhat ok with just those four. However, add Trump and then I don't know--Five might be a stretch.

****************************************************

When did religious belief become an excuse to discriminate?

Since it was invented (by either the first man, or the second).

****************************************************

Man arrested for letting his dog drive his car

Sez his dog's the only one who could remember how to get home.

"Why didn't you just ask your dog for directions?"

"I can't speak dog when I'm this wasted, Officer!"

****************************************************

The Best Bag to Bring to a Concert Is Actually a Running Belt

Not. I always like to bring a few paper bags, inflate them during the loud orchestral passages & then pop them during the soft moments (for the best effect).

****************************************************

In America, Kids Must Go to School, but What Is It Really For?

So we can wash their dirty, dirty brains.

****************************************************

Miss Manners: Should we have told him his coat had a large hole?

Only if it didn't match up with the bullet hole.

****************************************************

Trump Rips Biden’s ‘Most Vicious, Divisive’ Speech Ever Before Comparing Him To Satan

Trump sez he knew Satan, Satan is a friend of his, and that Biden's way of walking now bears a resemblance to his friend's tentative walking 'down there' over the hot coals.

Trump-Endorsed Wisconsin Gubernatorial Candidate Tells Voters To Take Up Pitchforks

This makes perfect sense now.

****************************************************

Biden Shouldn’t Apologize to Republicans

Republicans are never going to vote for him. Forget'em. In fact: Attack'em--They're already attacking him. The non-Democrats Biden should be courting are the Independents, not the fu#%king brainwashed Republicans.

A longtime conservative insider warns: The GOP can’t be saved

****************************************************

A Second Constitutional Convention? Some Republicans Want to Force One.

Say that the current one is not brittle enough.

****************************************************

Remember how Republicans said ‘Don’t say gay’ law only applied to grades K-3? Big lie

Surprise.

****************************************************

Europe's most precarious church?

Depending on how the light strikes it, sometimes it's Catholic and sometimes it's Protestant.

****************************************************

Bannon faces charges in N.Y., possibly over alleged fundraising fraud

Bannon sez he believes he might be addicted to getting himself indicted for fraud (as long as his pals keep him out of jail).

****************************************************

“Western weaponry is not playing a decisive role in the battlefield regardless of what the Ukrainians are saying,” Vasily Nebenzya, Russia’s ambassador to the United Nations said.

Good! That means that Russia doesn't have any reason to object to the West sending these weapons to Ukraine then.

The U.S. will send an additional $675 million in military supplies to Ukraine, Austin says.

Putin has been embarrassed in Ukraine. So have his Western apologists.

****************************************************

Carolyn Hax: Stepmother-in-law is rude — when no one else can see it

When you know that someone is a stupid ape but no one else in the world seems to know it: You are Donald Trump.

If you want to destroy the United States vote for Trump, an incompetent nincompoop whose only successes in life involve ruin & destruction for everything & everyone he touches. [He's very good at that.]

****************************************************

Russia said it war in Ukraine will continue “until the goals that have been set are achieved,” Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov said Monday.

Excellent! Everybody can agree then that the point is to utterly destroy the Rusian army; and you can't do that if it 'runs away to fight another day.'

The collapse of the Russian army was inevitable: The only purpose it had in the Ukraine was to murder people--What the Hell kind of purpose is that?!?

Destroying the Russian army is one of the greatest favors the Ukrainians can do the world, themselves, and the Russian people.

For the Russians: It's a good thing they are a nuclear power, otherwise the Ukrainians would conquer most of European Russia and annex it to Ukraine. And if they held a referendum there, even an honest one, it would probably turn out most of the Russians in that part of Russia would rather become Ukrainians.

****************************************************

Miss Manners: Is school’s staff appreciation week too much?

Better than giving'em a raise. ["Hope the balloons weren't too expensive."]

****************************************************

What Does It Mean To Die Of ‘Natural Causes’?

It means your Earth visa has expired.

****************************************************

Could more of the Earth's surface be made habitable for humans? - study

Yes. All we have to do is fill in the Atlantic Ocean and that will give us huge land areas right there.

****************************************************

Georgian archaeologists find 1.8-million-year-old human tooth

They were able to date it from how worn out it was due to its use evidently 'back in the stone age' (when people only ate stones).

****************************************************

Obstruction Now A Major Focus In Trump Documents Probe

Great. Not only are lawyers working for Trump not likely to get paid, but they're also very likely to get disbarred and sent to prison right along with him! [Now you know why only nutcases like Giuliani & other incompetent morons turn up as Trump's lawyers.]

Trump Having Hard Time Finding Lawyers Because They Want To Be Paid: Journalist

Look, not just lawyers: Anybody who goes to work for Trump without getting paid in advance has just basically chosen to work for him for free.

Save America PAC Reportedly Pays Attorney $3 Million Advance To Defend Trump

Now there's one lawyer who knows how to get paid (even if not by 'El Cheapskate' Trump himself) for representing him.

****************************************************

How did Armenia become a victim of Turkey, Russia’s cynical wars? - analysis

Tradition. Turkey honors a tradition of loving to hurt Armenians; and, if possible, to murder them.

****************************************************

Chicago jury convicts R. Kelly of sex crimes, including child pornography

Now inside his cage the only thing this bird will be able to do is 'believe' he can fly, although he'll still be able to sing, like a canary.

****************************************************

How sitting all day can cause health problems — even if you exercise

Maybe so, but my ass loves it.

****************************************************

Ask Sahaj: My boyfriend’s family speaks another language in front of me

The solution is for you to just make up another language, say Gibberish, and speak that in front of them. And if you speak it to yourself & answer yourself back in it, it'll creep them out even more.

****************************************************

'My Pillow Guy' Mike Lindell Claims The FBI Trapped Him At A Hardee's Drive-Thru

Thank you, Mike Lindell! Thank you for all the great laughs you've given me! You would have made a great circus clown, just only with your mustache alone. [You've given me so many genuine belly laughs I think it will be hard for me to get cancer now.]

****************************************************

In a news conference in Uzbekistan at the conclusion of a regional summit, Mr. Putin claimed that Ukraine was attempting to carry out “terrorist acts” inside Russia and “to damage our civilian infrastructure.”

Such a savage brutal butcher and yet such a funny guy!

****************************************************

New revelations show Biden was right: Trump does threaten democracy -- Former vice president Mike Pence tweeted last week: “Never before in the history of our nation has a President stood before the American people, and accused millions of his own countrymen of being a ‘threat to this country.’ ” Pence, of all people, should understand that an unprecedented threat calls for an unprecedented response. If he had only a tiny bit of backbone, he, too, would be calling out the fascists who almost lynched him while Donald Trump did not lift a finger to save him.

Unfortunately, Pence is one of those people who will not even begin to understand the threat to his being lynched until after he has been lynched. So quit waiting on him & just light a candle.

****************************************************

Mass Grave With More Than 400 Bodies Found in Izium, Ukraine Says

The Russians seem to be trying to out-Nazi the German Nazis.

Russian retreat reveals Izyum horrors

****************************************************

Trump presented his Russia hoax theory to a court. It went poorly. -- “Perplexingly," wrote Judge Middlebrooks, "Plaintiff [Trump & his stupid lawyers] appears to argue that the Defendants obstructed investigation Crossfire Hurricane by contributing to the initiation of Crossfire Hurricane,” he writes. “That Defendants could have obstructed a proceeding by initiating it defies logic.”

There, however. There is perfect Trump logic for you! Only the too stupid to tie their own shoes can possibly fail to see it. [Apparently Judge Middlebrooks is not one of the stupids--No wonder Trump & his lawyers were so desperate to bring the case before Judge Aileen Cannon!]

Ex-Trump Attorney Ty Cobb Calls Him 'Deeply Wounded Narcissist' Incapable Of Change

Trump Told Aides 'We're Never Leaving' After White House Loss: Report

How Trump lost one of his biggest fights — and nobody noticed

Jeffrey Clark Investigated By DOJ On Jan. 6-Related Violations, D.C. Bar Filing Says

****************************************************

'God does not back war,' pope criticizes Russian patriarch

Well, either the Pope is wrong or God has moved on to another planet.

****************************************************

Why Is There Still No Strategy to Defeat Donald Trump?

Answer: Because everybody's just stunned frozen by everything Trump's doing to try to defeat himself. [They're all praying that he succeed, of course; but are too afraid that, yes, Trump might just finally succeed at something.]

[Frankly, it's still a mystery to me how the United States survived Donald Trump.]

****************************************************

Carolyn Hax: How to deal with in-laws’ constant fat-phobic comments

That's easy: Agree with them. Assure them that you will never again ask them over for dinner, or accept another invitation for dinner from them ever again. Problem solved.

****************************************************

Trump team claimed boxes at Mar-a-Lago were only news clippings

Look, why not simply admit that there's one law for the rich & powerful in this country and a different law for the rest of us? Then we can all go home. [Fine him $5]

****************************************************

Counter-offensive won't change Russia's plans – Putin

Sez the only thing that will stop the war is if the Russian soldiers in Ukraine mutiny and return to Russia bent on hanging him for trying to get them killed. Otherwise they're there until every last one of them is killed.

****************************************************

Lindsey Graham Said Trump Could ‘Kill 50 On Our Side’ And GOP Wouldn’t Care, Book Says

And that's why as soon as he knew he wasn't one of the 50 who were going to get killed Jan.6 by Trump's mob he went from denouncing Trump back to licking his ass as always. [You wouldn't want to be part of the next 50. No sir.]

****************************************************

Forget apples: An onion a day keeps the doctor away?

Probably keeps everyone away.

****************************************************

Trump Openly Embraces, Amplifies QAnon Conspiracy Theories

Naturally: If you're gonna be crazy, might as well be crazy all the way!

****************************************************

Everything you need to know before splurging on an iPhone 14

1) you will never ever EVER get a message that couldn't have waited until you actually walked there and was informed of the matter in person. EVER. [Reality doesn't change just because you try to wait it out.]

****************************************************

Ukraine Wants the U.S. to Send More Powerful Weapons. Biden Is Not So Sure.

Yes, indeed. I agree with Biden: The most critical moment will come when the RatPutin is backed into a corner.

Putin is reeling. Now is the time to help Ukraine win.

****************************************************

Russia says it is fighting neo-Nazis in Ukraine - a claim widely dismissed - and that it is threatened by the Nato alliance's strong relations with Ukraine.

Apparently the entire world is full of Nazis now: The United States is controlled by Nazis, Germany of course is Nazi again, France is now a Nazi state, as is Italy, Spain, Switzerland, Poland, even the Vatican is filled with Nazis. [Apparently Putin really believes, like Trump, that just because he thinks it his thought will magically reshape reality.]

****************************************************

Biden Says Queen's Death Left 'Giant Hole' For Royal Family

Later he clarified that this was not intended as an Irish 'dig' at Charles.

****************************************************

Iran’s Raisi says research needed to verify if Holocaust happened

There is more proof that the Holocaust happened than there is that people have heads on their shoulders. So I imagine Iran will soon launch some research into whether people have heads on their shoulders.

****************************************************

Republicans are wearing cruelty as a badge of honor

And they will continue to do so until their voters tell them that they do not support wild animals & savage beasts.

****************************************************

Texas Gov. Abbott Sends More Migrants To Vice President Harris’ Home

How is trafficking humans not human trafficking?!?

****************************************************

How many nuclear weapons does Russia have?

5,977--? If it were say under 5,800, I think we could manage that. Let's try for that.

****************************************************

U.S. Task Force Recommends All Adults Under 65 Be Screened For Anxiety

President Biden is thinking of putting Mel Brooks in charge of the screenings.

****************************************************

Dining Out Q&A: Going out to eat? You better have a reservation

For Burger King?!?

****************************************************

Video shows the first fox known to fish for food

Scientists found him by following his cursing.

****************************************************

The world’s oldest winged insect is in trouble. How frightened should we be?

Not very, I should think. The world's oldest man is also pirouetting on a banana peel, but you don't see anybody running out to buy him new furniture.

****************************************************

Beyond Meat Executive Arrested For Biting Man’s Nose

Guys & their rough sex, right?

****************************************************

In Ukraine, more evidence of Russian atrocities piles up

Bodies are still being found in Bucha three weeks after the Russians retreated

" The Kremlin denied on Monday that Russia was to blame for atrocities that Ukraine says it has uncovered on territory it recaptured from Russian forces. "It's a lie, and of course we will defend the truth in this story," Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov said, comparing the allegations to incidents earlier in the war where Russia claimed without evidence that atrocities were staged by Ukrainians. "

All these murders, all these human bodies were unquestionably killed in territories being held by the Russians: In today's world you can't hide one murder. Russia's thousands of murders in Ukraine is murder on an industrial scale. You have to go all the way back to Nazi Germany to find horrors like it. It is already part of humanity's evil legacy. It is already set down in stone. In the annals of Russia's darkest history it is already written in human blood for all the eons to shudder in horror and disgust.

****************************************************

6 takeaways from the New York AG’s $250 million lawsuit against Trump

Trump's super colossal crimes are finally beginning to come home to roost, pecking here & there a shinning kernel at a time, but finally they all seem to be starting to chirp his way. Enjoy!

Appeals court: Justice Dept. can use Mar-a-Lago documents in criminal probe

A thorough rebuke of Judge Aileen Cannon’s pro-Trump order

Letitia James used Trump’s boasts against him. It was devastating.

****************************************************

In strike at Trump empire, suit says he lied about property values, including Mar-a-Lago

At one point Trump said the Polo shirt he was wearing was worth five million dollars, and that his pants were valued at a billion.

Trumps 'inflated net worth by billions' - lawsuit

What did you do with all the billions that literally flowed through your fingers, Mister Trump? Fred Trump is turning over in his boiling caldron.

****************************************************

Irish PM's plane forced to return to Dublin after striking bird

"Sir, we saw your plane just strike that bird."
"Oh? We all though it was just some person.
"We can see feathers all over your plane, Sir. We're going to have to ask you to return to Dublin!"
"Dublin?! Damn it!"

****************************************************

Ask Amy: My neighbor hung a flag I find offensive near my property

Are you sure it wasn't just a practical joke? My neighbor put up a pig farm in his yard (and it HAD to be as a gag). I'm wait'n on him to clear the pigs out any day now so we can all have a laugh about it. Any day now.

****************************************************

A thorough rebuke of Judge Aileen Cannon’s pro-Trump order

For anybody who might still not understand just how whacked-out this Trump guy really is, and how dangerous to everyone around him. Everyone.

TRUMP FANTASY CLAIM: DECLASSIFY DOCS JUST BY ‘THINKING ABOUT IT’

[Trump will always be good for a joke.]

****************************************************

Why Is A NASA Spacecraft Crashing Into An Asteroid?

Impaired driver?

****************************************************

U.S. has sent private warnings to Russia against using a nuclear weapon

In effect, Russia is threatening to use nuclear weapons in its conquest of neighbors. It was inevitable that some nuclear-armed would-be conqueror would eventually become evil enough and sinister enough to try this. Hope the West has considered this and formulated some kind of response, otherwise we are certainly in for some terrible times any moment now.

****************************************************

Tucker Carlson Takes The Cake With Dumb New Conspiracy Theory

Never mind the theory: Did somebody run the bum down and recover the cake?

****************************************************

Eli Manning Says He’s Mistaken For Another Celeb And It Came To A Head Recently

He does look a little bit like Richard Nixon.

****************************************************

Why Russia Is Losing the War in Ukraine

Because Ukraine has more letters than Russia.

****************************************************

Jan. 6 rioter who said he didn’t know Congress met at Capitol gets 4 years

"Sir, you were speeding."

"No, Officer. I was just sitting here. It was the car that was speeding."

****************************************************

Coastal cities in parts of Asia are sinking fastest, study finds

They're bound to: There are more people there.

****************************************************

Putin was 'pushed' into Ukraine war - Berlusconi

Berlusconi also claimed he's pretty sure that Adolph Putin invented cheese.

****************************************************

Trevor Noah Explains Why Trump Couldn’t Declassify Something Mentally If He Tried

Because he's brain-less?

****************************************************

Trump Even 'More Dangerous' Than We Thought, Warns Rep. Adam Schiff

Relax. In the end Trump is just a cheap felon on the lam--It's only a matter of time before they catch him and throw him in the slammer where he belongs.

****************************************************

Trump Said Gaining Secret ‘Rich Friends’ Made Presidency Worth It: Book

In a hint, Trump sez lots of'em speak Russian.

****************************************************

Ask Amy: Atheist wants an honest but kind way to bow out of religious activities

I always tell people like that I am not superstitious. Sorry. And if they persist I say, "Well, I wouldn't ask you to help me shrink somebody's head if I were a head-shrinking savage!"

****************************************************

Ask Damon: Should I get my anti-vax friends’ baby vaccinated without telling them?

Sure. And if the baby dies from some complication of it just tell your friends that a gang of crazed-looking doctors abducted their baby probably in order to perform some unknown medical experiments.

****************************************************

The ongoing baby formula shortage is a reminder of a disturbing truth in America

Women's breasts are going to waste?

****************************************************

“The enemy’s superiority in artillery does not decide the outcome,” said Nataliia Humeniuk, the head of the communications division for Ukraine’s southern command. “History knows cases of unique battles where the quality of combat was decisive. Not the number of weapons.”

You can't fight this war by fighting the last one. If you want to win this war then this is the war you're going to have to fight, and not any of the wars in the long ago.

****************************************************

Does It Matter That Investigators Are Closing In on Trump?

No. It is like the ocean waves at a beach crowded with mesmerized watchers. [I believe that's the DOJ's point.]

****************************************************

No, I don’t want God in charge of my health care

Oh, why not? It worked well during the Dark Ages, and in every other stone age human settlement in the world up until the invention of the brain.

****************************************************

Nephilim: Who are the giants of the Bible, Jewish lore? - explainer

Normal-sized people. At that time all Jews were midgets.

****************************************************

After being bitten by a fox, Rep. Bera introduces bill to cut cost of rabies vaccine

Now, if everybody in the Senate & the House would become homeless & struck with catastrophic medical bills... there's no question that ours would be a much better country than it is today. [Maybe a few of the Republicans could also become pregnant by incest and/or rape--especially the men.]

****************************************************

Putin’s War Is a Crime Against the Planet

We see in Russia the critical importance of democracy: I'm sure that if they had the say in it the majority of Russians would reject the insanities of Putin and his cult.

The Russian men fleeing mobilization, and leaving everything behind -- “I do not support my government, but I cannot do anything to change the situation. If you have another view from them and if you protest or write about this, you go to jail,” he said.

Putin’s chaotic mobilization reveals the weakness of his dictatorship

War is the reaping of the damned: War is where Hell swings its scythe to harvest the damned to Perdition.

****************************************************

KYIV, Ukraine — The governor of Ukraine’s Luhansk region says the number of local voters cited by pro-Russia officials as having participated in a “referendum” on living under Russian rule is inconsistent with the remaining population

In Russia's defense: Putin, like Trump, can cast votes for the 'missing' Ukrainians just by thinking about it.

****************************************************

Family Investigated After Turning Waterfall Blue In Gender Reveal Stunt -- One family member is reportedly being charged with harming the environment under Brazilian law.

The family lawyer: "Your Honor, the environment is a garbage dump anyways, so why raise a big stink about it?"

****************************************************

21-Year-Old Sailor Acquitted Of Setting Fire That Destroyed $1.2 Billion Navy Ship

His lawyer defense: "Oooops!"

****************************************************

Carolyn Hax: If one spouse cheats, does the other get a freebie affair?

Of course. It's like when your bank charges you by mistake you then get to stick-up one of its branches. My old man did it dozens of times.

****************************************************

What nuclear weapons does Russia have in its arsenal? - explainer

Answer: All of them.

****************************************************

The Supreme Court May Soon Gut What’s Left Of The Voting Rights Act

New banner there will read: "We are the Supreme Court: Destroyers of The Law!"

Ginni Thomas Sticks By False Election Fraud Claim During Jan. 6 Committee Meeting -- The wife of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas did not provide any evidence or specific reasoning to back up her claim, insiders said.

****************************************************

Supreme Court Declines To Hear Mike Lindell's Defamation Appeal -- Lindell’s lawyers have argued that the lawsuit isn’t valid because Lindell genuinely believes his claims, despite having no evidence.

It's a delusion, said his lawyers. And because Lindell has a delusion he should therefore be allowed to defame anyone he wants. [And just because Lindell makes money by peddling his delusion, that should play no part in any of this at all.]

****************************************************

Oldest Teeth Ever Found In China Fish Fossil Catch

Apparently at that time the Chinese used to fish by sticking their heads in the water and waiting to see if they could grab a passing fish with their mouths. [Apparently someone missed.]

****************************************************

On Sunday, after Ukraine recaptured Lyman, a city in the east that Russian troops had used as a key logistics and transport hub, Putin’s media allies dropped the niceties and more directly criticized his military, saying tougher measures were necessary for the sake of victory.

These people don't seem to understand that there is no Russian army anymore. There's just a whole bunch of Russian looters in there fighting the Ukrainian police. And it won't be long before they're all rounded up or killed. Send more Russians to loot in Ukraine and the only thing they'll get from that is even more Russian looters killed or arrested by the Ukrainian police.

****************************************************

Why do cats knead? Why do dogs lick you? The science of pets’ quirks.

My dog licked me because he lifts weights. And my cat kneads because he used to hang in a pizza parlor and they had him doing odd jobs around the shop.

****************************************************

Russian Disarray on Display as Ukraine’s Forces Advance on Two Fronts -- The Kremlin reflected the disarray of its forces on the ground, where territory was rapidly changing hands, acknowledging that it did not yet know what new borders Russia would claim in parts of Ukraine it recently annexed in a move Kyiv and Western leaders decried as illegal.

I'd advise them to set it possibly 50 miles inside the present Russian border: That should keep Russia safe from Ukrainian HIMARS.

I don't see why the Kremlin doesn't also claim Texas as Russian territory forever: There is no Ukrainian army anywhere near Texas, and by the time the Ukrainian army comes to liberate Texas the Texans will all be speaking Russian and their kids playing with Matryoshka dolls.

****************************************************

Zelensky hails advances as open recriminations intensify in Russian media -- Putin made reference to America’s use of atomic bombs against Japan in 1945 during a fiery speech Friday, in which the Russian leader cast the annexation of vast swaths of Ukraine as a fulfillment of Russians’ destiny.

Yes, but Japan didn't have nukes to answer the U.S. Only if the Russian generals who control their nukes are willing to sacrifice their lives, the lives of their children & grandchildren, and the rest of their own families, for the sake of Putin's 'fulfillment of Russians’ destiny' delusion [which I assume is the erasure of Russia from the memory of man], only then will Putin be able to push Russia into committing national suicide so he can die in a glorious bonfire of megalomania. It is possible, of course, but there's still room to hope the Russian generals would rather not.

****************************************************

Judge holds the home run record. Bonds doesn’t. Reality is real.

Neither of them does. The record is clearly held by Barry Bonds's syringe. Reality is more strange than real.

****************************************************

Herschel Walker Claimed He Supervised 6 Hospitals. He Didn’t.

Correction: Herschel Walker was supervised in 6 different hospitals (for the stupid).

****************************************************

Russia warns US of military clash risk over Ukraine

US thanks Russia for the heads-up.

****************************************************

DeSantis Claims Media Hoped Hurricane Would Hit Tampa ‘To Advance Their Agenda’

DeSantis sez he can now read people's minds.

****************************************************

US will destroy Russian army if Putin uses nukes, says former CIA director

Putin sez: "Don't bother. Ukraine already did that."

****************************************************

There have been widespread reports of men unfit to serve being called to duty, including some who are blind, deaf, disabled or elderly.

Putin insisted these were precisely the men needed at the front: The blind will be fearless because they won't see the Ukrainians coming. The deaf won't hear the orders to run away. The disabled won't much care being disabled even worse. And the elderly can be sent into the Ukrainian lines to ask the enemy what time they intend to attack: "Oh? Ok, thank you. That will give me enough time to brew some coffee."

****************************************************

The Russian president congratulated teachers and promised students restful autumn holidays while commentators in Russia glumly reported cascading military defeats.

Isn't it about time that Russian psychiatrists put an end to this comedy and sedate Putin before he has a conniption?

****************************************************

What it means to identify as pansexual

You gotta be careful you don't fry your balls.

****************************************************

How to hallucinate without drugs

Get a job.

****************************************************

GOP Senator Makes Racist Comment Equating Black People To Criminals

I'm thinking that eventually Republicans will go down to expressing every most evil blood libel in the book as if it were the most natural and harmless opinion. That seems to me to be where they're headed.

****************************************************

House Democrats seek to censure Marjorie Taylor Greene over ‘Biden is Hitler’ comment

Don't believe her! Marjorie Taylor Greene is Satan's wife (and they have several demons, the oldest two of which are already in college).

****************************************************

Justice Thomas should step back from the Mar-a-Lago documents case

Sorry, guys. Thomas is as shameless as most other Republicans.

****************************************************

Why I robbed a bank to get my own money

I had an uncle robbed a bank to get his own money too (although it wasn't his until after he ran off with it).

****************************************************

U.S. tourist smashed ancient Roman sculptures at Vatican, authorities say

Well, what's the use of being an American tourist if you can't trash somebody else's place here or there!

****************************************************

The Immortality Project

How to store data for 1,000 years

So now we measure immortality by a 1,000 years? I guess everything the dinosaurs wrote is really lost then.

****************************************************

Christian Bale Says He Had ‘No Idea What To Do’ On The Set Of ‘Thor: Love and Thunder’

So he just grabbed a hammer and began trying to help out around the set. The rest is history.

****************************************************

‘Weekend Update’ Hosts Blast Herschel Walker, Dr. Oz Over Controversies

I wondered why Uncle Fester wasn't running for some office as a Republican this cycle. And then I found out.

****************************************************

Putin says Ukraine planned Crimea bridge explosion, calls it terrorism

Attacking a road bring in the enemy's military materiel is terrorism now, but butchering thousands & thousands of noncombatants isn't. The world really is upside down in Russia!

City official: At least 17 killed in Russian strikes that hit homes in Ukrainian city of Zaporizhzhia

Explosions rock multiple Ukrainian cities, including Kyiv

****************************************************

Texas Gov. Greg Abbott: No Pardons For Marijuana Convictions

Only for Republicans trying to overthrow the republic, sez Abbott.

****************************************************

Amid Ukrainian taunts, Russia scrambles to salvage Crimean Bridge after fiery explosion -- Podolyak noted that the driver of the truck that exploded was reported to have come from Russia. “So, the answers should be sought in Russia,” he said. “The logistics of the explosion, synchronization with the fuel echelon, the volume of the destroyed roadway — all this clearly points to the Russian trace.”

I agree. It's unlikely that the Ukrainians could have known the schedule of that passing train with such accuracy. This bridge explosion looks more like Russian sabotage against Putin than an Ukrainian operation.

Really. Putin should get on national TV and say that he's getting out of Ukraine. The Russian army is being decimated. If he throws all those 300,000 poor slobs into the war they're going to be butchered. Russian logistics can't even feed the troops already in the war. It's unimaginable that they'd be able to feed the additional conscripts! What you're going to see is starving masses of Russian 'soldiers' begging the Ukrainians not just for their lives but for food: It would make more sense that Russians would try to stop the war by blowing up that bridge than if the Ukrainians did it because it's more a symbolic loss than a real military one--The Ukrainian are busy elsewhere destroying the Russian army. They know that symbolic victories are momentary and only real battlefield victories last.

Putin should tell the Russian people something like: "If the Ukrainian people do not want the Russians to liberate them from the Nazis then they're going to have to liberate themselves." And get out. Get out before the whole damn Russian army is utterly destroyed and the entire country along with it.

The Ukrainians are doing perfectly well in the battlefield, while the Russians are pushing naked bodies into the battle. The Russians are not moving advanced armor or modern weapons into the fight, they're just pushing unarmed and untrained civilians off the street into the field. Yes, you can kill a lot of these poor slobs and pile them into the trenches to absorb enemy bullets, but eventually the whole pile with burst in a putrid puddle of sheer stench and then even the Russians will refuse to hide behind the gore.

****************************************************

Michael Cohen Believes Trump Saw Mar-a-Lago Docs As A ‘Get Out Of Jail Free’ Card

If he did then Trump stealing those documents is a criminal act even more sinister and culpable than anyone could possibly have imagined!

Trump's former fixer suggested the ex-president kept classified documents so he could effectively blackmail the government if he needed to.

You know, this is so incomprehensibly depraved that it never even crossed my mind that such disgusting treason could even be imagined by an American against his own country. But now that Trump's close associate Michael Cohen (and others) have suggested it, yes, I can see where it fits in with Donald Trump's malignant toxic character.

****************************************************

Charles to be crowned May 6. How elaborate will the ceremony be?

Probably just one of those "Here, catch!" crownings.

****************************************************

Hungary’s Orban says Trump is the ‘hope for peace’ in Ukraine

Sez he and Trump will do everything possible to see that Russia conquers Ukraine quick as possible.

****************************************************

A California city’s water supply is expected to run out in two months

Ah, good! That should last us to the end.

****************************************************

After war, after Putin, what’s next for Russia?

If there's no nuclear devastation, then just the usual grim poverty and jail if you point it out.

****************************************************

Russia steps up efforts to portray U.S. as puppet master behind war

Human beings are a never-ending subject of fascination to me: Russia Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov used to seem so staid and nondescript a diplomat not that long ago and now, suddenly, he looks like a Nazi who would have fit in with Hitler's inner circle and probably ended up on trial at Nuremberg! It's all as if truth really is monstrously stranger than a Hollywood movie.

****************************************************

Have you exercised your body fat lately?

I tried to but my body fat told me to get lost. And not in a nice way.

****************************************************

How big are Trump's legal problems?

Really big.

****************************************************

Trump Stumped Over Why Jan. 6 Panel Didn't Just Ask Him To Testify Earlier. Nobody Else Is.

Nobody wanted to see Trump break the record for the number of times he took the Fifth: We'd still be listening to him taking the Fifth.

****************************************************

A criminal referral that doesn’t name Trump would be criminal

But a criminal referral that names Trump would also be criminal. I guess everything about Trump, coming or going, is bound to be criminal.

****************************************************

Herschel Walker Says His Grandma Was ‘Full-Blood Cherokee.’ His Mom Says Otherwise.

Herschel Walker is now claiming that he got his penchant for lying from his Mom, not from being a Republican.

****************************************************

Why so many mass shooters are angry young men

1) their parents bought them guns

2) they didn't have parents like mine who whenever I said or did the least thing stupid jumped down my throat yelling, "What'r'you, stupid?!?"

****************************************************

Michigan Home Inspector Convicted After Masturbating With Client’s Elmo Doll

Elmo Doll was heard to squeal with joy (at the verdict, not at the other thing).

****************************************************

KYIV, Ukraine — Six and a half feet down a ladder inside a small shed at the back of Oleksandr Kadet’s home is an underground room with a cement hatch that he hopes he never has to use.

The human spirit of survival under any circumstances is almost up there with that of the cockroaches certainly. Survive and then come out into a vast expanse of nuclear dust. "We have N95 masks for that." How about your skin pealing off from radiation burns? "Wrap wet bandages around that and [if your junk hasn't fallen off] bring forth babies that can survive the universal Hell and make it to an age where they can reproduce, mutants or not." Good luck with that!

Thank God that here in the United States we don't suffer from such idiocy as giving out potassium iodide pills, a poncho, boot covers, wet wipes and a flashlight (and stuff like that): No. Here we give everybody guns so if we're nuked we can blow our brains out. That's why we're the greatest country in the world.

****************************************************

Trump worker told FBI about moving Mar-a-Lago boxes on ex-president’s orders -- Since the Aug. 8 search, Trump has offered a number of public defenses of why documents with classified markings remained at Mar-a-Lago — saying he declassified the secret documents, suggesting that the FBI planted evidence during the search, and suggesting that as a former president he may have had a right to keep classified documents. National security law experts have overwhelmingly dismissed such claims, saying they range from far-fetched to nonsensical.

In Donald Trump's defense: Far-fetched and nonsensical are Trump's only mind-sets. [Benedict Arnold was like a lollipop-licking little tyke traitor compared to Trump.]

In Trump Case, Texas Creates a Headache for Georgia Prosecutors

Harvard Law Professor Explains Why A Trump Indictment In D.C. Would Hold Extra Peril

Jan. 6 panel scrutinizes Trump’s post-election military orders

Recognizing His Election Loss, Trump Tried To Make A ‘Catastrophic’ National Security Move

Supreme Court rejects Trump request on Mar-a-Lago documents

Trump's Bedminster-Bound Mystery Boxes Raise New Secret Document Suspicions

The latest Mar-a-Lago ruling underscores the frivolity of Trump’s complaints

Trump Fundraising Overhead Soaks Up 91 Cents Of Each Donor Dollar: Report

Trump Company Set For Criminal Trial In Off-Books Pay Scheme

Trump signed legal documents that he knew included false voter fraud numbers, judge says

Mary Trump Calls Donald Trump A Mass Murderer For His Handling Of Covid Pandemic

Judge fines Trump lawyers in Clinton case thrown out in September

****************************************************

Why Herschel Walker May Win

Because American love to make fun of stupid people in congress.

****************************************************

The most disgusting films ever made

1) How Sausage Is Made

2) Your Waiter Just Went & Now He's Back

3) What's On Your Tongue?

4) Kids & Pets That Love You

5) what smells after somebody goes in the space station

****************************************************

If Trump runs again, do not cover him the same way: A journalist’s manifesto

This time cover him with earth.

****************************************************

Biden Praises Women-Led Protests In Iran: ‘It Stunned Me What It Awakened’

Sez he's not as old as he thought.

****************************************************

Activists who threw soup on Van Gogh’s ‘Sunflowers’ plead not guilty to criminal damage charges

Claim it was a mistake: They were looking for an Andy Warhol piece.

****************************************************

Voters See Democracy in Peril, but Saving It Isn’t a Priority

Say they can always revolt against George III again and beat him again if they have to.

****************************************************

Ocean freight rates are down, so why aren’t prices on shelves dropping?

Because of the mysterious anti-gravity force known as dark energy. [And they say they can't find proof of it!]

****************************************************

What we'd eat after an asteroid impact

Something filling, as it will probably leave a big hole.

****************************************************

Ask Damon: My boyfriend died. Then I found out he had another partner.

Now that lady has been convicted of necrophilia.

****************************************************

Where will humanity go after Earth becomes uninhabitable? - study

Answer: To Hell. We've already been making reservations there for years.

****************************************************

New allegations surface about Bill Murray’s on-set misconduct

Ah, and you thought Bill Murray is so believable as an obnoxious cretin because "he's such a great actor."

****************************************************

What age should you give a kid their first phone?

At the age they're old enough to get a job and pay for it themselves.

****************************************************

Construction crew found a purse lost in 1959. Then the hunt began for its owner.

"I had $2.98 in that purse! And it had better all still be there." --Martha

****************************************************

Biden criticizes Republicans for threatening to cut off aid to Ukraine

Should this be a surprise to anyone? Republicans work for Trump, and Trump's dearest wish is to become one of Putin's oligarchs.

****************************************************

Scientists find remains of Neanderthal family in Russian cave for first time

Make out mysterious word "Flintstones" carved over the entrance.

****************************************************

Can Taylor Swift really rerecord her entire music catalogue?

Can my old man belt out the same stupid song every day in the shower for the past forty years?

****************************************************

Why is this 19th century woman holding a smartphone?

Because some people are just too damn impatient to wait their time.

****************************************************

Election Deniers Running for Office

Am I the only one seeing the irony in this? Are Republicans crazy or what!

There so much arrogance in this country, so many people here who are convinced that Americans are somehow a better people than Cubans, Nicaraguans, Russians, Venezuelans and all those others out there who have basically said, "Aww, screw democracy: We can do better under a despot." But I believe that we are soon going to find out that Americans are just as big a bunch of morons as the worst of the bunch out there. Watch!

Sometimes people forget what a stroke of pure sheer luck it was that this country was born at the time it was and under the amazing foresight of its founders. I don't think that combination of lucky breaks will ever again gather for anyone in all of history.

****************************************************

Russian authorities on Monday doubled down on Shoigu's warning.

Nonsense. If I were going to do that because Russia used tactical or other nuclear weapons on Ukrainian territory I would put a 'dirty' nuke into a small car and drive it to Red Square where it would be the perfect payback. You can see from the truck that blew up the Crimea bridge how easy it would be for determined terrorists to do this on Russian territory. I should think that escalating the war to nukes would be terribly counter-productive for the Russians in every possible way: Such a 'counterstrike' would not kill any Russians, but it would create tremendous furor and chaos in Moscow, which is probably the last thing the Putin regime would like to see since once a mob gets going there is no telling whom it will turn on.

****************************************************

Ask a Doctor: What happens if I drink too much water?

Answer: You become water-logged. (I am a doctor of Nothingness.)

****************************************************

Miss Manners: Strangers have extreme reactions to my name, Karen

"Hey! Don't call her that!"

"Oh shut up! I'm her mother: I'll call her whatever the hell I want."

****************************************************

How big your TV should be and where you should put it, according to experts

Well, TV's are two by four inches nowadays. But if they get any bigger they won't fit in people's pockets anymore. So I think they've probably reached their limits.

****************************************************

Liberals urge Biden to rethink Ukraine strategy

Biden sez he'll think about it.

****************************************************

House progressives urge the Biden administration to engage in direct talks with Russia.

Whether the Republicans or liberal Democrats want the Ukrainians to give up part of their country to the Russians to end this war is irrelevant because even if the West were to stop arming Ukraine this minute the Ukrainians would still continue to fight for their country even if they have to do it with sticks and stones: The Ukrainians will continue to do everything in their power to expel the Russians from their country no matter what; and the only role the West really has is to help them end this war as soon as possible by arming them so they can do it because if the West ceases to arm the Ukrainians this war & its suffering & all its dangers will go on & on forever until there are no more Russians in Ukraine.

The Russians have rejected humanity. Now they're just vicious animals.

****************************************************

Looking to Move to a Galaxy Far, Far Away? Innovative System Evaluates Habitability of Distant Planets

What I want is this: Is there a way for me to go to a planet far far away all by myself? Maybe buy one and then move there. Just me. So that I can then put up a No More People Allowed sign and keep everybody else say a million miles away from it. How much is a planet these days, anyway?

****************************************************

Is my poop normal? Everything stool tells about your health

It's normal! It's normal! Quit passing it around!

****************************************************

6 chicken leg and drumstick recipes for tasty meals on a budget

"You, know, sometimes I think having beautiful gorgeous thighs is a curse." [One chick to another.]

****************************************************

Cruz called Trump’s fraud claims ‘reckless.’ Now he promises evidence.

Of course: Promise them anything but always only give them cow manure. [The Republican base will eat it up.]

Yeah, Ted Cruz’s book doesn’t show any voter fraud

****************************************************

Biden Says It’s Up To Americans To Decide Whether To Mask Up In Planes

Just like it's up to each man, woman & child to decide how large or tiny a slit the doctor who operates on them should make, yes.

Dr. Oz Says Abortion Should Be Between Women, Doctors And… Local Politicians

Top Medical Group Slams Politicians For 'Inserting Themselves' Into Health Decisions

****************************************************

What should you do if you see a bear? First, don’t run away.

Then: Be a pal. Hug the poor bear. If you have some treats share it with it. Bears love for people to scratch them behind their ears. Some even like for you to ride them piggyback. Remember bears are gregarious friendly creatures. [Text not for the stupid.]

****************************************************

Clorox recalls millions of Pine-Sol bottles that may contain bacteria

And here I was buying Pine-Sol all these years specifically as a disinfectant! I'm still going to keep buying it, of course, but now only to flavor my salads. [Text not for the stupid.]

****************************************************

More activists are gluing themselves to art. Their tactics aren’t new.

Why not? There are few consequences. But, you give some of these vandals 15 or 20 years in prison for attempting to devalue millions of dollars worth of art and these acts of vandalism are certain to grow few & far between.

****************************************************

The man who ran across Australia in 47 days

When ya gotta go ya gotta go.

****************************************************

Does the human brain know when something sounds wrong?

No. Otherwise Trump would have been in jail decades now.

****************************************************

Pennsylvania Republican Laments Jan. 6 Convictions: ‘Is This Really America?’

"No, sir. This is the courthouse." ["America is the whole shebang."]

****************************************************

Republicans oppose Democrats’ plan to fund Ukraine with seized Russian assets

Say their Overlord Putin wouldn't like it.

****************************************************

What Happened to Hu Jintao?

Don't worry. Don't worry. Hu is now Head Dishwasher at Xi Jinping's Famous Takeouts. [And they don't use dishes there.]

****************************************************

Why the Latino vote will surprise us for the next 20 years

Because it'll take them that long to realize that when they show up at the Republican party and they're handed a tray with drinks to pass around to the white guys it's not a 'little' ethnic joke.

Vote! If you don't vote the guy you would have voted against will win the election! [You've been warned.]

****************************************************

Dog caught running off with human head in Mexico

Dog sez he recognized his master and was running to return his head to him like a good boy. [Yes. You only laugh at this joke because it's about Mexico.]

****************************************************

Mondrian Artwork Has Been Hanging Upside Down For 75 Years

Apparently a custodian took it down 75 years ago to dust the wall behind it and didn't re-hang it correctly: It just looked better to him that way. [And to everybody else in the world until some smart-ass recently pointed it out.]

****************************************************

Fox News Rushes To Say Attack On Paul Pelosi Is Proof Of Random Crime Everywhere

Claims that all criminals everywhere out there always shout, "Where's Nancy!" when they commit their crimes.

****************************************************

Zelensky: Western warplanes will help Ukraine achieve air superiority

Wouldn't it be a good idea to bring in some Ukrainian pilots now and train them on Western jets that Ukraine might one day be supplied with--instead of waiting until the decision is made to give Ukraine the jets to bring the pilots in for training? That way when the decision is finally made to supply Ukraine the jets you won't have to wait for the pilots to be trained as there will be Ukrainians immediately ready to pilot them.

****************************************************

Ask Amy: I’m annoyed my toddler nephew refused to give me a hug

Yeah. How can I adopt this kid as my nephew?

****************************************************

Ask Jules: I’m young but not experienced with tech. Is that a problem?

"Not in the slightest. Our janitors here only work with mops, brooms, and toilet bushes. No tech."

****************************************************

Ukrainian head of Defense Ministry claims Putin has 3 body doubles

How do we know that Putin is dead? He hasn't dressed down any more Russian generals for the way his war is failing in Ukraine: If he were alive he'd be throwing out scapegoats to deflect personal responsibility for his Ukraine fiasco right & left.

Russian Military Leaders Discussed Use of Nuclear Weapons, U.S. Officials Say

Russia is now being run by a military junta. [I especially love the smiling melonhead 'Putin' in the joining hands celebration with the leaders of the Ukrainian annexed regions.]

****************************************************

GOP to probe ‘cancer’ of climate-friendly investing after midterms

You know, with all the self-evidently clear madness & voluminous shit being proposed by GOP candidates as if it were the most normal thing in the world [the GOP are the Republicans, for you Republicans out there, by the way], that anyone [anyone] should vote for a Republican really leaves little doubt that the very very stupid have finally become the majority of Americans. I attribute it all to the omnipresent pollution here when they were growing up--it probably corrupted their 'little maturing' brains.

National Park Service Begs Visitors: Please Stop Licking These Psychedelic Toads

****************************************************

North Korea fires ballistic missiles, Japanese citizens called to seek shelter

North Korea has been building missiles instead of feeding its people, so Kim Jong-un has to do something to somehow justify this outrage. This fireworks of ballistic missiles is to be expected.

****************************************************

Ask Amy: After 16 years, I’m done constantly giving my husband back rubs

All those back rubs made him weak & flabby while making my arms strong and muscled. Now, instead of back rubs, I just punch him in the gut (and make him take out the garbage without any backtalk).

****************************************************

Hundreds Died. Millions Suffered. Abbott Will Probably Get a Third Term Anyway.

Americans vote for Republicans with their body odor and for Democrats with their brains: Fear the worst! Because pound-for-pound we normally have a lot more body odor than brains.

To place the nation in the hands of someone whom we all know would sell us out the first chance anyone offers him enough cash is the greatest act of folly ever in all our history. And still a lot of people are itching to vote for Trump again!

****************************************************

Why do our brains believe lies?

Because if they didn't: How would we ever get our Christmas presents as kids?

****************************************************

What if we find life on other planets?

We will try to find ways to put it to good use.

****************************************************

Ask Damon: I’m going into adult entertainment. What if people find out?

They'll be entertained.

****************************************************

How to stop your cat from scratching the furniture

Steel furniture. Now I've really got that cat climbing the walls.

****************************************************

GOP Rep. Dan Crenshaw: Election Deniers Admit It’s A Lie Behind Closed Doors

I'm sorry, and, who didn't know this?

****************************************************

Your toilet is grosser than you think. Here’s how to clean it better.

My toilet or what I think? You have no idea how dirty I think.

****************************************************

‘Let Them All Go Now’: Trump Calls For Release Of Everyone Arrested In Jan. 6 Riot

Who's the leader of the gang
that tried to overthrow our gov(ernment)?

T for our biggest traitor ever
R rotten to the core
U --know who we mean
M modderfucker
P punk

Donald Trump. Donald Trump.
Traitor Donald Trump!

Now do you believe who the ringleader of the insurrection is!

****************************************************

A Philadelphia man ate 40 rotisserie chickens in 40 days. Why?

A chicken heiress, an emerald ring and her effort to help Ukraine

****************************************************

Ask Amy: I have nothing in common with my aging parents

Come now, prejudice didn't just die with them: You're getting it ready for your own kids.

****************************************************

Why Spotify and other streaming services can’t ditch Kanye West

Because Kanye West did not just suddenly drop down from Mars but is the product of an entire society of people for whom racism is perfectly normal, an they are mostly all his Spotify followers.

****************************************************

Trump hasn’t announced a 2024 bid. But he’s acting like he’s running.

People don't know whether Trump can't run anymore at his age and is just faking it, or whether he always lied about being able to run (because he always was a big fat fake).

When Trump Announces Candidacy, Watchdog Will File Insurrection Disqualification Challenge

****************************************************

Val Demings was a cop for decades. Why are critics calling her anti-police?

Answer: Her critics are Republicans; and Republicans are in the business of lying, not politics.

Trump speeches use dozens of lies, exaggerations to draw contrast with Biden

****************************************************

Investigators searching for pricey gifts that Trump received from foreign leaders

Try looking in all the hockshops around Mar-A-Lago first.

****************************************************

The three voter groups that could decide the elections

1) men
2) women
3) and kids who won't stop crying until their parents vote the way they want them to

****************************************************

Nigerian fraudster Hushpuppi sentenced to 11 years in U.S. prison

"But judge," screamed Hushpuppi as he was being led away: "I'm a Nigerian: In my country it's against the law to not try to defraud Americans."

****************************************************

Ask Sahaj: I’m 37, single and worried I’ll never have a family

Stop worrying: Just wait until you reincarnate to have a family (it may even be a better world then). Unless you come back as one of those worms that reproduce by splitting into two new worms, of course.

****************************************************

Chechen leader Ramzan Kadyrov said on Telegram that Gen. Sergei Surovikin, the commander of Russia’s war in Ukraine, made the “difficult but right choice between senseless sacrifices for the sake of loud statements and saving the priceless lives of soldiers.”

Yevgeniy Prigozhin, the head of Russia’s Wagner mercenary group, also told Russian outlet RIA Novosti that Surovikin “acted like a man who is not afraid of responsibility” by withdrawing with minimal losses.

Beware of Russians professing humanity: They lost it all during the Soviet years and it will take decades & decades for the world to see any of it back in them again.

Ukraine says Russia wants to turn Kherson into 'city of death'

****************************************************

US airport finds gun stuffed in chicken by traveller

"Oh, so THAT's where I left it."

****************************************************

South Korea’s sale of ammunition to the U.S. has a condition: Only the U.S. can use it, not Ukraine.

Say that using their ammo to defeat Evil in the world is against their national aspirations.

****************************************************

Ask Amy: Meditation group leader says I was ‘disruptive.’ I disagree.

As opposed, of course, to: "Oh? I'm sorry. I will try better from now on."

****************************************************

Sam Bankman-Fried charmed Washington. Then his crypto empire imploded.

Is it really a smart idea to put all your money with a guy who is 'Fried' in the end?

****************************************************

“Ukraine is the party of peace in this conflict, and Russia is the party of war,” Jake Sullivan, President Biden’s national security adviser, said. “Russia invaded Ukraine. If Russia chose to stop fighting in Ukraine and left, it would be the end of the war. If Ukraine chose to stop fighting and give up, it would be the end of Ukraine.”

I'm glad they understand that. Simple, exact, and correct. And yet sometimes the simplest truths seem to escape our simian minds:

When are invaders going to finally understand that, no matter how much bigger they are than the countries they invade, they cannot win against a people determined to be free of them! One should always look to history.

Putin's miscalculation was not over the ability of the Russian Armies to conquer Ukraine: Everybody, including the U.S., understood that the Russians were an overwhelmingly superior force in Ukraine. No. Putin's grand miscalculation (whether through his creatures feeding him false information or through some mental disorder of his own) was that he really believed the Ukrainian people would welcome the Russian invasion. [Yes, the fact that the Russian military's atrocities and incalculable crimes against ordinary Ukrainians led to nothing but stronger national unity in Ukraine and revulsion for all things Russia should not have been surprising; and it is certainly an even greater cause of Ukraine's resolve to total victory than even all the blunders and manifest incompetencies of the Russian military strategists.]

For the Russians now this war has become like a simple and inconsequential game of chess: Moving 'pieces' around to see if they can gain some strategic advantage here & there... without any thought anymore of ultimate defeat or victory and without any regard whatever to the mass murder and suffering it is inflicting on both sides because, in the end, the Russians must know by now (if they did not know all along) that the only way this war can end is by their eventually leaving Ukraine to the Ukrainians once and for all. For the Russians, nevertheless, the corpses never counted as human beings... and win or lose the surviving Russian generals will go home eventually to rehearse on their game boards cold-bloodedly whatever clever moves they managed and all the mistakes they made.

****************************************************

Arrested suspect in shooting at a Miami-Dade bar was just doing his job, attorney says

Sez somebody hired him to shoot people. "He's the one they should arrest!" ["Not us hard-working working people."]

****************************************************

How common are female psychopaths?

In my family? Painfully common.

****************************************************

Clarence Thomas Again Moves To Block Jan. 6 Inquiry That Could Implicate His Wife

Why isn't this 'just cause' for impeachment and, in fact, disbarment, being charged with corruption... conviction, and imprisonment?

****************************************************

What war crimes is Russia accused of in Ukraine?

All of them.

****************************************************

77 Gifts Under $25

Fraud Warning: They only give you one! [I took a big Santa Claus bag (for the 77 gifts), 25 bucks, and they kicked me out of the store on my ass.]

****************************************************

Miss Manners: I don’t want to dye my hair like my mother-in-law does

Well, hope you're not in a Mafia family.

****************************************************

In G-20 talks, China objects to calling Russian invasion of Ukraine a ‘war’

Sez it's merely an outdoors adventure. Or, at worse, a stroll in the park.

****************************************************

Lindsey Graham Has Surprising Response About Whether He’d Endorse Trump

Is this the same Lindsey Graham who says the exact opposite of what he had just said before every fifteen minutes?

****************************************************

New brain implants ‘read’ words directly from people’s thoughts

Already several fights have broken out.

****************************************************

How the world got to 8 billion - and where next

If this is some sort of porn flick, I certainly do know where this is going next, sure.

****************************************************

She lost, so it must have been a fraudulent election. Inside Kari Lake’s alternate reality.

Sez she's way too cute & perky to have lost honestly.

****************************************************

Foreign governments spent over $750,000 at Trump hotel, congressional investigators say

Never ceases to amaze me just how cheaply Trump & people like that are willing to sell out their country!

Glancing over the endlessly waving American flags
on this cold day at Arlington National Cemetery,
Veterans' Day 2022, I thought of asking
over the vast expanse of valor & self-sacrifice:

"How much would you guys sell out your country for?
Would you sell it out for a billion dollars?
For ten billion? For a hundred billion?"

"Never!" I thought I heard all the ghosts of
a nation's full glory coming out to haunt me:

"No!" Was the answer that was coldly slapped
across my rude face by the breezes soughing softly
throughout the once waving blades of the grasses
suddenly stunned there, for so low they had laid me.

And from the highest leaves of the upstanding trees
they blew down upon me: "Not for a hundred billion!"
Shivering with a noisy outrage even at the unspoken
thought that had echoed so coldly, without any respect,
so bitingly inside my bad-mannered brain: "Not
for times times times times that," they all whipped
wildly the hair on my head again & again & again...

****************************************************

Noted: McConnell blasts Democrats, focuses on Georgia in Senate speech

When told that the Democrats had already won the Senate, McConnell asked: "What day you said this was?"

****************************************************

Trump Sat On $94 Million As His Chosen Candidates Lost The Senate For Republicans

C'mon, what's more important to Trump, 'his precious stuff' or 'other people's junk & garbage'?

If the GOP can’t get rid of Trump, maybe Georgia’s prosecutors can

GOP operative found guilty of funneling Russian money to Donald Trump

****************************************************

Jan. 6 Firebrand Turns On Trump: ‘Dishonest, Disloyal, Incompetent, Crude’

Of course, if Mo Brooks (and a lot of other deplorable people like him) had any self-respect he would have said this back when it might have helped his country avoid the ravages that Trump's ‘dishonesty, disloyalty, incompetency, and crudeness’ have been inflicting on his nation for years--not just now when he's retiring and supporting Trump's assaults on our government and our democracy no longer brings him any more personal advantages & cheap perks. [Sorry. No 'better late than never' need apply here.]

Pence’s slowly arriving critique of Trump is his party’s entire problem

****************************************************

'Kanye was rite': Jewish cemetery vandalized with swastikas

This has replaced 'Hitler was right.' Kanye can be proud of himself (even more so than of his admirers' illiteracy).

****************************************************

A Disney World vacation is about to get more expensive — again

As if should. We don't want the riff-raff in there.

****************************************************

‘A lot of people don’t expect such sweetness from a turkey’: Farm offers turkey cuddling

Mother of Mercy, is this the end of the turkey sandwich?

****************************************************

GOP’s First Move After Winning The House: Investigating Hunter Biden

Well, I imagine investigating Hunter Biden is one of the most consequential problems facing the American people today. Way up here above such 'secondary' matters as inflation, crime, global warming, Putin's nuclear war threats, and the deteriorating world situations in the Middle East and Asia.

****************************************************

Kari Lake travels to Mar-a-Lago, fresh off projected loss in Arizona

Sez she wants to learn from the best how to be an even bigger loser.

****************************************************

Kim Jong Un’s daughter seen for first time — at a missile launch site

"I wanna ride it, Daddy!"

"We'll see."

Chairman King Lear: "How much do you love daddy?"

****************************************************

Musk issues ultimatum to staff: Commit to ‘hardcore’ Twitter or take severance

In all my years of jobs I have never had a boss issue an ultimatum except it was get out now or I'll call the cops.

****************************************************

Miss Manners: I can’t deal with my colleagues pooping next to me

Can't you just scoot your desk over to the other side of the room? That's how I coped with this.

****************************************************

'I tried to join IS to support my sick mother'

"It was either that or work for Musk at Twitter, Judge."

****************************************************

Miss Manners: Guest pointed out a burned-out bulb in the middle of dinner

Hate that! I mean, there are a couple of burned-out bulbs in my family too. But I still hate it when dinner guests point it out.

****************************************************

Twins born from embryos frozen 30 years ago

Amazingly, first thing they said after they were born was that they were interesting in listening to some Boyz II Men tracks.

****************************************************

Ukraine's prosecutor general says over 400 children killed in war to date

A Putin portait: The blood of 400 Ukrainian children is dripping from this monster's hands.

Canadian defense minister says Ukraine winning the war -- “Had Ukraine surrendered, as some European leaders urged President Zelenskyy to do, it’s not difficult to imagine where we would be now: a much-weakened Europe, a divided NATO, a humbled America: all confronting an empowered Russia, backed by a smiling Xi Jinping,” Van Praagh said. “That is not where we are. Quite the opposite.”

****************************************************

A woman decided to make chili for neighbors, and outrage ensued. Was she wrong?

Yes. She should have also offered them as much free toilet paper as they would require (afterwards).

****************************************************

Does kindness get in the way of success?

Considering that success is by definition getting ahead of everybody else: Yes! However: Do you want to live your own life or everybody else's? [Sometimes selfishness acknowledges self-sacrifice.]

****************************************************

Zelensky urges U.N. to condemn ‘energy terror’ after Russia strikes Kyiv

The Russians are spending all their efforts trying to turn off the lights while the Ukrainians are spending all their efforts trying to kill Russians: Yes, Ukraine is well on its way to winning this war, cold-bright and over the back of a lot of stupid Russian corpses.

****************************************************

Ask Sahaj: I feel guilty moving away from my immigrant parents

Is this because they all talk at the same time? Because I can sympathize with that.

****************************************************

This tribe helped the Pilgrims survive for their first Thanksgiving. They still regret it 400 years later.

Even 400 years ago they should have known that no good deed ever goes without coming back to bite you in the ass.

****************************************************

Russia Traffics in Ukrainian Children

There is no evil outrageous enough that the Russians will refuse to traffic in it.

****************************************************

Republican Brains Have ‘Switched Off’ Trump In Wake Of Midterms, Says John Bolton

But, wasn't Trump the ONLY thing keeping Republican brains ON? Now what!

MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell Is Teasing A Big GOP Run — And People Have Thoughts

What, again!?! Republicans are incorrigible.

****************************************************

'Psychic' animals are predicting the World Cup winner

What nonsense! What idiocy! The Magic 8 Ball is much better at answering everything, including who's going to win there.

****************************************************

Ukrainians remember suffering inflicted by Stalin, Putin 90 years apart

Sure, Ukraine's Bad Neighbor Commemoration. It really ought to become a world-wide observance. [Russia says it's not going to the moon anytime soon.]

****************************************************

Buying an electric car? These models are made in China.

Well, China doesn't conduct electricity, so they should be safer that way (if you fall in a river). But I'd be concerned that even a small bump might smash a car made all in China to smithereens.

****************************************************

‘Happiness is 4 Million British Pounds. You Got It?’

I've got an ounce of human decency. Does that count?

****************************************************

There’s an upside to crypto’s collapse

Yes, that creep who told you he was going to buy your company and fire you on your ass is now flipping burgers.

****************************************************

Ask Amy: I’m friends with my boss. I found out he owes me thousands in back pay

Now you know why he liked you so much. And now you know why you guys won't be such friends going on from here.

****************************************************

Cruise passenger rescued after 15 hours in the sea

"I don't know. I just jumped in the pool and suddenly the ship was about a mile away!"

****************************************************

Democrats Kept The Senate This Year, But 2024 May Be Harder

Then they had better start pushing in their judges NOW.

****************************************************

Pope Francis compared Russia’s invasion to a devastating Stalin-era famine in Ukraine.

The difference is that this time the Ukrainians can defend themselves against Russia's viciousness.

Ukraine needs to be 'far-sighted' to secure peace, pope says

Ukraine is being 'far-sighted' trying to secure peace, or look:

100-mile strike weapon weighed for Ukraine as arms makers wrestle with demand

****************************************************

GOP Senator Rips Trump’s Dinner With ‘Racist Antisemites’

Trump sez, what could he do? A lot of his 'A List' guests had been 'unjustly' executed at Nuremberg.

Trump, Melania 'Just Sick' About Imprisoned Insurrectionists, Says Marjorie Taylor Greene

****************************************************

Miss Manners: How do I tell my friend I lost his cat?

Why don't you use the same gag people who murder their spouses & bury them in the back yard use: Tell him his cat probably ran off to Las Vegas with a spur-of-the-moment lover.

****************************************************

The scammers are coming for you. Here’s how to protect yourself.

Don't be stupid.

****************************************************

Nobody wanted to adopt the dog with one ear — until he started painting

And they still say there's no such thing as reincarnation.

****************************************************

Why Are Lots of Kids Likely to Be Sick This Holiday Season?

Because they asked Santa for a Ferrari and all they got was a Kewpie Doll instead.

****************************************************

How Would You Feel About a 100-Year-Old Doctor?

I imagine that's the only way to feel him because at 100 all his junk is probably hanging way out all about him.

****************************************************

Spanish coastguard finds stowaways on ship rudder

Say the trip was 'all right' except whenever the ship took a hard turn. [The most important things was that the ship's captain should never have been a Venetian gondolier.]

****************************************************

Russia protests pope comments as Vatican seeks to mediate

Sez the Pope should join with Moscow's Patriarch Kirill and praise all the pointless butchery, misery, brutality, and mass murder for the sake of mass murder that Russia is inflicting on Ukraine. [Pope sez he'll think about it.]

****************************************************

New York City to Remove Mentally Ill People From Streets Against Their Will

On principle I am for the removal of hunting guns, in fact. I am against the practice of hunting for sport: It is a barbaric and abhorrent behavior in modern humans.

But I am also a firm believer that, "Guns don't kill people: People kill people." Mass killings also happen with cars, knives, bombs, garrotes, hammers, and everything else beside. Removing guns for that reason would only become an inconvenience to mass murderers. The epidemic of mass killings is tied up with our inability/unwillingness to address mental health issues. Time & again these mass murderers are shown to have displayed signs of their future acts of insanity very early on and nothing was done about it.

What we need are laws to institutionalize them as soon as they display any sign that they might hurt others or themselves. [Above all, ensuring that their institutionalization is carried out within secure and humane facilities that meet all their medical requirements, and are regularly inspected by independent organizations.] And then make certain that there are strict laws in the book that should a psychiatrist order their release because 'they think' their patient is no longer a threat and the released patient commits another insanity, that those psychiatrists are just as liable to be sued by any victims as are any other doctors who commit malpractice and cause harm to someone due to professional incompetence.

The psychiatrists who should be given the benefit of the doubt are those who institutionalize people who are later proven not to need institutionalization, not those who release the criminally insane due to some 'harmless' mistake.

NYC push to forcibly hospitalize mentally ill from streets spurs backlash

****************************************************

Ask Amy: Should we tell our kids the details of their inheritance?

I did. That's why my kids are saving all their pennies in their cute little piggybanks now.

****************************************************

Dining Q&A: Should I complain after a poor meal or just never return?

My Mom prefers that I should do the latter, but the former keeps me fed--and maybe even help her achieve four-star cooking someday, I say.

****************************************************

Why this mammal eats its own brain — and why it could matter for you

It isn't the one I was gonna adopt to do my taxes, is it?

****************************************************

Indiana GOP Official Seeks Penalty For Doctor Who Spoke Of Ohio 10-Year-Old’s Abortion

I thought governments couldn't pass laws directed against specific individuals.

****************************************************

Miss Manners: An abusive relative is dead, and I don’t know what to say

Say, "Aw, that's too bad: I'm gonna miss his slaps, punches, and pinches." People will understand your grief.

****************************************************

U.N. deems French baguettes essential to humanity’s culture

Finally a U.N. decision I can agree with and celebrate.

****************************************************

German parliament labels 1930s Ukraine famine as genocide

The entire world should follow suit. That was most definitely genocide by Russia on Ukraine.

****************************************************

Tricks to fixing Christmas lights that won't work

Guys, what I need is tricks that work!

****************************************************

GOP ACCOUNT QUIETLY DELETES KANYE TWEET AFTER HITLER PRAISE

Why?!? I thought Hitler was one of the GOP's luminaries now. Right up there alongside Trump & other fascist wanna-bes.

****************************************************

Teen brains aged faster than normal from pandemic stress, study says

This proves what my old man always told my Mom: Stress your baby and he'll ask for a car before he's old enough to drive. ["Sorry son."]

****************************************************

Why severe climate change is almost unstoppable now — and the few paths that remain

1) move to higher ground
2) see if Musk takes you with him to the moon when he moves there

****************************************************

Ask Amy: My husband contradicts everything I say

Then always say the exact opposite of what you mean and he will always agree with what you mean to say. That'll fix him.

****************************************************

How to tell if Republicans mean what they say about working people

Check whether their noses grow or not after they say anything.

****************************************************

Russian FM: US, NATO directly involved in Ukraine conflict

So is Russia: Get out and everybody else will too.

****************************************************

Elon Musk wants to put chips in human brains. That could take awhile.

Naturally: He'd have to catch me first.

But Musk putting chips in our brains will probably make it easier for people to 'unexplainedly' get the idea that Mister Musk would make the perfect First Universal Ruler of Planet Earth.

****************************************************

Can police use robots to kill? San Francisco voted yes.

"Hello. I am looking for Sarah Connor. I am from the police. Are you Sarah Connor?"

****************************************************

Indiana GOP Official Seeks Penalty For Doctor Who Spoke Of Ohio 10-Year-Old’s Abortion

Sez it was very politically inconvenient for him that she did.

****************************************************

Why trust in women leaders is falling

More of them are getting elected?

****************************************************

In Disturbing Alex Jones Interview, Kanye Says He Sees ‘Good Things About Hitler’

The self-control he displayed in his moustache?

****************************************************

Trump Saddled Republicans With Herschel Walker And Has Now Abandoned Him In Runoff

I'm sorry, but, isn't that Trump's modus operandi?!?

****************************************************

House Judiciary Committee To Probe Supreme Court Corruption

Unless the Supreme Court finds it unconstitutional, of course.

****************************************************

Critics Pooh-Poohed Biden’s Democracy Push Before Midterms — New Polling Suggests It Worked

Never underestimate the wisdom of the very very old.

****************************************************

I Interviewed 144 Of My Girlfriends About Our Friendships, And What I Found Changed My Life

Not one of them remembered having been my girlfriend! From now on I'm gett'n a dog. (And a rabies shot, those things like to bite me, for some reason or other.)

****************************************************

Avoid the unhealthy salad: What to add and not add to your leafy greens

Thankfully, the only thing I ever add to my salads (besides lots of bacon, of course) are a few healthy beans refried in lard. And, sometimes, even some leafy greens if I'm so inclined.

****************************************************

Putin is expected to “eventually” visit the Donbas region, press secretary Dmitry Peskov told state media, without giving a timeline.

Tell him to wait about 6 more months, that way President Zelensky can be waiting for him there to greet him with a warm welcome.

****************************************************

A new book asks: What makes humans call some animals pests?

Answer: If they show up at your house unannounced or uninvited.

****************************************************

Russia: Mass seal death likely due to oxygen deprivation

Did not know that seals breathed underwater. Because if the atmosphere is running out of oxygen seals are not the only ones in trouble.

****************************************************

Ordinary Investors Who Jumped Into Crypto Are Saying: Now What?

Now... wait until I come knocking at your door selling the Brooklyn Bridge, or course. It's a bargain.

****************************************************

Homo naledi may have lit fires in underground caves at least 236,000 years ago

Scientists have discovered large caches of matches tucked away in several places down there.

****************************************************

Russia demands annexations recognised before talks

And bank robbers say that they stole that money honestly so it's theirs.

****************************************************

‘Lady Chatterley’s Lover’ Review

Remake: "Lady Chatterley's gett'n it. You Ain't."

****************************************************

Who could be speaker, if not Kevin McCarthy

It's not like the House Republicans have a principled politician among them.

****************************************************

Being George Clooney is tougher than it looks

You gotta keep combing your hair all the time. That alone would drive me crazy.

****************************************************

McCarthy reveals exactly how the GOP House will protect Trump

The Republicans continuing to protect Trump is not all that different than if the rest of us started protecting our cancers.

****************************************************

Police thought his cash was suspicious. So they took it. And won’t give it back.

So? That's what 'authorities' have been doing since before the advent of Europe. The more things change the more men remain the same bunch of bullies.

****************************************************

Prince William Shares Why He’s A ‘Stubborn Optimist’ About Our Planet’s Future

Because he lives in a castle and has no need to worry ever about where his next meal will come from for the rest of his life?

****************************************************

Prosecutor Says Trump ‘Knew Exactly What Was Going On’ With Exec’s Tax Fraud Scheme

Yara, yara, yara... yes, we all know Trump broke a thousand laws. Prosecute him for one.

Everywhere Trump turns, prosecutors seem to be breathing down his neck

Yara, yara, yara... yes, we've been hearing that for years. Have one of the vamps finally bite his neck off.

****************************************************

GOP lawmakers largely silent after Trump suggests ‘termination’ of Constitution

I'm sorry, but isn't advocating the overthrow of the Constitution treason?

At least Trump knows who his real enemy is: The Law. Suspend the law and a criminal is free to do anything he wants. But why Republicans are not calling out Trump for what he is [a Traitor to his country] is really unnerving: The Constitution is the nation and the nation is the Constitution. Is it that Republicans no longer believe in America of that Republicans no longer believe themselves Americans? [And if it's because Republicans just don't have the education to know this, that's just as terrible.]

Trump’s call to set aside the Constitution raises a question: Why now?

I think Trump's finally realized he's not going to be president ever ever ever again.

Noted: Rep. Paul Gosar tweets — then deletes — agreement with Trump’s call to ‘terminate’ Constitution

Trump’s call for suspending the Constitution is too dangerous to ignore

White House rebukes Trump’s suggestion to suspend Constitution over 2020 election

****************************************************

Neil Diamond surprises with 'Sweet Caroline' singalong

Oh? It's 'sweet' Caroline, not 'sweat?' I always thought that song was about a fat girl.

****************************************************

Dining Q&A: A new restaurant is charging $100 if I overstay my allotted time. Thoughts?

Frankly, I think Burger King is pushing it. I like a Whopper; but let me take my time finishing it, for Heavens sakes!

****************************************************

We all use phones on the toilet. Just don’t sit more than 10 minutes.

"Sit?!?" How about throwing away those phones after using them in there! (Or, at least, telling people where they've been. C'mon!)

****************************************************

This Miami Dolphins QB’s Name Is One Of 2022’s Most Mangled Words

Is it Tavigaloga?

****************************************************

China Announces Roll-Back Of Strict Anti-COVID-19 Measures

There's the difference between tyranny and democracy: In a tyranny people have to stage a revolution, suffer mass killings and terrible imprisonments, tortures & abuses to change things. In a democracy people simply hold an election to change things.

****************************************************

Trump Hired Team to Search His Properties for Classified Material

Sir, we suspect you murdered your wife. Could you check to see if you can find any evidence in there against you for us?

Trump: ‘With smaller testing we would show fewer cases’

Doctor: "Sir, you have cancer."

Trump: "I gotta stop going to the doctor. I don't go to the doctor so much I won't keep getting all these terrible diagnoses."

Doctor: "Would you like a slug of Clorox?"

****************************************************

Taliban carry out 1st public execution since Afghan takeover

Say they just couldn't hold it any longer. [More to follow.]

****************************************************

Putin says Ukraine fight is taking longer than expected

Well, he expected it to take a week and it's now been a year. So, yes: Putin is finally right about something.

****************************************************

Ukraine’s latest strikes prompt criticism from backers of Moscow’s war.

Taking up the moment: At this exact moment in the war I believe that the two countries could sit down and negotiate at least which targets must be henceforth off-limits; a small step which will no doubt increase progress towards an eventual conclusion to the war. At this moment the Ukrainians are interested in no more infrastructure strikes. And now the Russians can see that if the Ukrainians continue to develop a fleet of long-range drones to attack them [which is imminent] they will probably and very soon be capable of hitting critical Russian infrastructure too. So why not begin the political process now by negotiating first of all a list of targets which will be henceforth excluded? This is the perfect moment to do it because I think both countries are interested in doing exactly that now. Then they can proceed from there.

****************************************************

Climate protesters hurl paint at Milan's La Scala opera house

What is the proper punishment for these vandals? They should be held in prison [for a term of no more than 200 years] until such time as they finish cleaning up their vandalism to the satisfaction of La Scala's owners.

****************************************************

Where do Harry and Meghan get their money?

People in their circles don't need or use money. [That's why people in your circles gotta pay double for everything you buy.]

****************************************************

Europe will soon allow phone calls on flights. Will the U.S. be next?

"Hello, Jerry. You'll never guess where I'm calling from."

"Is it a men's room? I hear a lot of groaning."

"No. That's snoring. I'm up in the air!"

****************************************************

What in the name of Trump was the Herschel Walker campaign?

A preview of the kind of politician that would rule this country if Trump ever became president again.

****************************************************

Britain saves ‘grandparent’ of all modern skyscrapers, built in 1796

Now a flat over a depressed pub.

****************************************************

62 Things Trump Did That You Forgot About To Preserve Your Sanity

Trump failed to disclose the loan, which was paid off months after he took office, Forbes reported. -- “If someone does not disclose a loan, OGE has no way to know,” said Walter Shaub, who ran that agency when Trump took office. Don Fox, who once also headed the office, told Forbes: “The system is kind of predicated upon people actually following a law because they want to follow the law.”

Well, that pretty much excludes Trump then.

Democrats Demand Documents In Suspected Pardon Bribery Scam Linked To Trump PAC -- Trump pardoned two arsonist ranchers a week after a $10,000 donation was made to the America First Action PAC, which funded his 2020 reelection bid.

Two Trump-Appointed Judges Rebuke a Third for Bending the Law in His Favor

Distinguished persons of the week: The 11th Circuit renders justice against Trump

****************************************************

Russian court sentences war critic to eight years for spreading ‘fake news’

Sounds as if somebody has been speaking truth to power there again.

****************************************************

You made an AI selfie with Lensa. Here’s why you might end up regretting it.

Somehow in the crowded celebration with celebrities you've ended up with your arm around Hitler?

****************************************************

Senator Kyrsten Sinema Says She Will Leave the Democratic Party

Everybody was utterly, completely shocked (that Sinema was still in the Democratic Party).

****************************************************

Tom Hanks on Pelosi suspect's hit list, court hears

Suspect sez he had room in the list for one more name and that Tom Hanks was one of his favorite actors.

****************************************************

Ask Amy: Should I ask my fiance’s father to walk me down the aisle with my dad?

Only if your fiancé's father is paying for the wedding. If he ain't then you should get the wedding cake slammed against your face.

****************************************************

Miss Manners: How do I get my clients to email me instead of calling?

Being direct is always the best policy: I just tell my clients: "Hey, stupid! Don't call me, email me!" None of them ever called me again. It works.

****************************************************

Give Ukraine the ability to strike every inch of Russian occupied territory

What the Russians are doing to the noncombatant Ukrainian civilian population is a crime against humanity of the highest magnitude which the Russian mass-murderers are compounding by [de facto] giving no justification for it other than proclaiming that they are not butchering the Ukrainian civilians in a still much more savage and brutal manner! I do not know how else to define the Russians here other than as the most egregious and utterly without a conscience mass murderers. I cannot understand how human beings can do such things to other human beings (as the Russians are doing in Ukraine) and still dare to call themselves human.

U.S. Poised To Approve Patriot Missile Battery For Ukraine

She added: "Winter is coming, how can people survive? Lord, what do they want from us? They do not let Ukrainians live."

"Let this Putin die," he said. "I didn't do anything to him, but he does this to me."

****************************************************

What did dinosaurs sound like?

"Hey, Joe. You're putt'n on some weight, ain't chya!"

****************************************************

Lost Texas dog reunited with owners 7 years later -- Jazzy was found in Florida after running away from her owner's home after being spooked by fireworks.

"I'm +70 in dog years now, sonny," said Jazzy. "I just thought it was time I was moving to Florida." ["Ain't gett'n any younger, you know."]

****************************************************

Can we set aside a third of our planet for nature?

We can. Until we reach about 800 trillion people.

****************************************************

Mars Rover Captures 1st Sound Of A Dust Devil On The Red Planet

Sorry: No. That was just me breathing too close to my mike.

****************************************************

Ask Amy: My roommates got together and moved out. I feel left behind.

That is so self-explanatory, dude!

****************************************************

Ask Damon: How do I tell my friends their dogs need better training?

Tell them to ask them to return your leg.

****************************************************

Which teams are a potential fit for Tom Brady? It’s a short list.

1) The Over-The-Hill Gang
2) Them Old Geezers
3) Retirees-R-Us
4) One Foot In The Gravers
5) Completed Bucket Listers

****************************************************

On our radar: House to vote this week to remove bust of Dred Scott ruling’s author

Yes. Remove it: All commemorations of people who have done nothing but disgrace their country & their humanity included.

****************************************************

Ask a Doctor: Is marijuana as bad for me as alcohol?

No. But why don't you switch to anything at all more healthy if you're so concerned about what you're putting in your body? Try some buttered pasta.

****************************************************

Is nursing while pregnant risky?

No. But if it's bothering you, why don't you just tell your old man to pick up a ho while you're pregnant?

****************************************************

Miss Manners: We stopped inviting friends who never reciprocate

Friends are relieved you finally got it, and don't have to keep coming over. [They were worried how they were gonna tell you nicely to 'drop dead, you bum.']

****************************************************

Carolyn Hax: Fiance gets deeper in debt and lies to cover it up

Getting deep in debt is [the] definition of lying to yourself. And if there's anybody worse than those who lie to others it is those who lie to themselves.

****************************************************

Marjorie Taylor Greene Says ‘We Would’ve Won’ If She Organized The Jan. 6 Attack -- The GOP lawmaker suggested she would have done a better job leading the armed insurrection.

Ask her how she'd do it. Any answer to that is a clear plan for insurrection against the United States (on an ongoing insurrection). Therefore a crime.

White House condemns Greene over claim she would have ‘won’ Jan. 6 insurrection

****************************************************

Dave Chappelle brings Elon Musk onstage at comedy show and boos abound

Still, Chappelle knows it's better to be on the side of the rich man than on the side of all the angels.

****************************************************

Here's why you shouldn't warm up chicken in the microwave

I usually dress mine up in little buttoned up blankets; or simply bring them indoors to roost.

****************************************************

Arizona’s Lake files lawsuit, claims she won gubernatorial race

Great, now even landscape features are trying to win elections in Arizona in the courts rather than through the ballot box. [You just knew with all those damn Republicans doing it that it was gonna spread all crazy.]

****************************************************

5 reasons Trump might never return to Twitter

1) they don't allow computers in the slammer

****************************************************

At this Pa. college, 40 students live in a convent with 40 nuns

And they still say 'a nun is no fun.'

****************************************************

Originalism is bunk. Liberal lawyers shouldn’t fall for it.

To an originalist the Constitution's 'right to bear arms' can only mean muskets (and not our modern weapons); this is the stuff hypocrisy is make of. And, since the Founders were the children of the French Enlightenment and were guided by those principles I propose that Congress and the Supreme Court should hire a couple of Frenchmen who don't have anything better to do and on every decision ask them what they would do. This would be perfect originalism.

****************************************************

Why do our feet and armpits stink sometimes?

Yeah: Mine only stink when I smell them too!

****************************************************

German jewels recovered years after $119m heist

German drag queen who was found wearing them in 'her' performance sez 'she' did not know they were the real stuff. Sez nothing on 'her' is real. "Check it out."

****************************************************

Carolyn Hax: Is a grandpa who screams at a neighbor unfit to babysit?

It depends: Is 'the neighbor' there or is grandpa screaming at the neighbor in the bathroom locked up in there all by himself again?

****************************************************

How common is it for dogs to have your name? And how human is your dog’s name? Find out!

Well, my name is Mister Meow, so it's not very common for dogs to have my name.

"Sir, there's a cat outside asking for you."

"Are you sure? My name is Meow." [I had to change my name from Dacops because every time I knocked on sombody's door they'd bail out the back of their house with all their dope. "Who's there?"]

****************************************************

Russia-Ukraine War: It's time for a negotiated peace - Henry Kissinger

You know, I was pretty sure Henry Kissinger had died twenty or thirty years ago. And I'm not convinced he didn't.

Ukraine's victory is preordained by the gods. Putin and Russia are fighting destiny, and their fate is sealed. Don't ask me how, don't ask me why, it's just the way it is. A wiser Russian leader would have seen this from the start; even a less wise one would see it now and save what's left of the Russian army from this ongoing catastrophe Putin's condemned it to (if he cared to).

****************************************************

Could humans one day go live on these two newly-discovered planets?

If the rent keeps going up here the way it's been going: Sure!

****************************************************

Trump has one underrated advantage in the 2024 election

Something he has been saving to spring on his opponents at just the right moment: Picking his nose in public. Sez it'll kill'em when it lands on them.

****************************************************

Vaccines saved lives. DeSantis threatens that progress.

Mankind teems with ignorant brutes who are forever trying to thwart human progress--They are, however, just ticks in the spread of a silencing eternity: Their strength is but only their momentary brute force and their weakness is being forever smothered by persuasive arguments. [The solution is always to seek out the most straightforward proof, evidence, or argument because the ultimate arbiter of all is always all of mankind.]

****************************************************

How the UAE got to Mars in seven years

It takes about that long to get there by camel?

****************************************************

Sudan police tear-gas pro-democracy protests

"If we get democracy here we'll lose our jobs," explained the forces of oppression there.

****************************************************

Cathedral allows girl choristers after 1,000 years

Do the old girls even have any breath left at all with which to sing?

****************************************************

This dog has collected more than 1,000 littered plastic bottles

I keep telling the mutt: "Can-Can! Can-Can!" But it just can't seem to understand: All it does is just dance around everywhere kicking up its legs.

****************************************************

We thought our dog was having a stroke. She was stoned.

Finally a dog that truly belongs in our family!

****************************************************

We made a list of 99 great kids’ books. You told us what we missed.

Not one of them has ever been a part of the American curriculum. Books for the American curriculum are chosen or approved by breeders, not educators.

****************************************************

Miss Manners: Should I immediately open wine that guests bring?

Never! Always pour them some of your home-made bathtub wine: Tell'em you were dying to have somebody come over and give you an honest opinion. Say you're thinking of opening a winery in your bathroom.

****************************************************

Carolyn Hax: Partner does no housework and thinks he shouldn’t have to

Didn't the two of you use to laugh about his previous partner's always expecting him to do housework--before he moved in with you?

****************************************************

Jan. 6 committee refers Trump to Justice Dept. for criminal charges

"Could you please charge this criminal!"
"I don't know... he has such beautiful volumes of fat--"

****************************************************

Mitch McConnell On Jan. 6: The Country ‘Knows Who Is Responsible’

Mitch himself doesn't want to speak His Sacred Name, though, for fear that he be struck by the same lightning that's hit Trump now about a dozen times the last couple of weeks.

****************************************************

Hope Hicks Reveals Ominous Trump Claim: ‘The Only Thing That Matters Is Winning’

Sure. Just like a fat man is always obsessed with losing weight, to a loser like Trump winning must be The Unobtainable Goal.

****************************************************

Capitol riot suspect plotted to kill federal agents investigating him, records allege

Rioter sez the courts are giving out such namby-pamby sentences to Jan.6 rioters that he thought he'd try to see if he could at least get a real man's sentence handed down to himself.

****************************************************

Charge Trump with insurrection, Capitol panel says

Throw a dart into The Book of Laws and charge Trump with whatever law it hits on: Trump is sure to have broken that law (and probably more than just twice or trice).

****************************************************

Mike Pence Doesn’t Want The DOJ To Ruin Trump’s Christmas

Trump still wants Pence hanged. [Hearfelt Christmas exchanges the GOP way.]

****************************************************

Trump, despite losing the election by 7 million votes and 306-232 in the Electoral College, became the first president in more than two centuries of U.S. elections to refuse to hand over power peacefully. His incitement of the Jan. 6 assault on the Capitol -- his last-ditch attempt to remain in office -- led to the deaths of five, including one police officer, injured another 140 officers and was followed by four police suicides.

Guys, you elect a criminal president, that's what you get: crimes. Didn't you ever hear the mantra of 'elect an honest politician'?

****************************************************

Ask Amy: Celebrate the holidays by putting ‘A Book on Every Bed’

Those Gideon people never take a holiday!

****************************************************

Trump rails against Jan. 6 committee: ‘What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger’

I believe that is the definition of a scofflaw.

****************************************************

Marjorie Taylor Greene And Lauren Boebert Get Personal In Very Public Spat

You just knew two hateful sisters like these were never going to get along lovey-dovey like.

****************************************************

This 12-Year-Old Designed a Water Bottle You Can Eat

Next up: Designing one which doesn't make you so darn thristy after you eat it.

****************************************************

The Sweet and Sticky History of the Date

All first dates always come back from the movies with wads of strangers' chewing gum stuck all over the clothes of both the boy and the girl. [Which wouldn't happen if they'd just sat still and watched the movie.]

****************************************************

How to paint your radiators, plus other ways to make the most of them

You know, if I hadn't seen this headline I would have never in a million years realized that painting my radiators is one of the things I would never think of doing.

****************************************************

Roger Stone Says He Saw Swirling ‘Demon Portal’ Above Biden White House

Sez he could hear a voice calling him from inside it for him to follow it to Hell but he thought he'd stay out here for a while longer and help Trump do a bit more evil.

****************************************************

‘Harry & Meghan’ Made A Docuseries For Themselves -- Not For Us

You know, if Harry & Meghan would just work flipping burgers for a whole year and couldn't buy anything that wasn't with the money they'd earn there: In the end, all this cringeworthy chickenshit they're constantly bitching about would very probably irk them as much as it all does me whenever I hear any of it.

****************************************************

New York Law Bans Pet Stores From Selling Dogs, Cats And Rabbits

Also vegetable stands will no longer be able to sell vegetables. [We just thought we'd throw that in as well to fill out the legal pad all the way to the bottom.]

****************************************************

US sues Arizona over shipping container border wall

"The Arizona-Mexico border is an international border, not a state border, you twirps," read the federal complaint.

****************************************************

Ask Sahaj: How do I tell family I’m not coming home for the holidays?

I believe Hallmark has a special selection of very nice So Long, Suckers holiday cards.

****************************************************

Who convinced Donald Trump that Trump NFTs were a good idea?

I believe it might've been Manuel the maintenance man at Mar-A-Lago's men's rooms.

****************************************************

The Top Ten Dinosaur Discoveries of 2022

1) police do not let you report one missing until after 67 million years have passed

****************************************************

Elderly French man inserts WWI-era bomb up rectum, causes evacuation - report

Sez he saw it done in an old WB cartoon and everything worked out fine. Made for a stinking mountain of laughs.

****************************************************

Dining Q&A: I waited 15 minutes to pay my bill. No one came, so I left.

Well, that certainly beats my 'so I WENT to pay my bill instead' hands down.

****************************************************

Eight girls charged with stabbing Toronto man dead in ‘swarming’ attack

The girls told police that they thought they all needed a few decades in prison to 'finish off' a proper young ladies education.

****************************************************

U.S. Restores J. Robert Oppenheimer’s Security Clearance After 68 Years

So, if he's a vampire, he can now go back to work [nights] for the government.

****************************************************

Miss Manners: How do we pull back from a friend who wants to much?

Point out to him that you guys want to less (unless all of you are females).

****************************************************

Putin says Russia not to blame for Ukraine war

A roundabout way of admitting that it was he who done it, I suppose. [But better than nothing.]

****************************************************

Taliban prohibits higher education for Afghan women

Say it puts women in danger of learning that being men's slaves is not the best that they can be, after all.

****************************************************

Russia's defense minister calls for expanding military

Apparently Russia isn't inspiring enough resentment, scorn, hate, and terror in the world.

****************************************************

Kremlin warning: More US arms to Ukraine will aggravate war -- Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov said that continued Western arms supplies to Ukraine would lead to a "deepening" of the conflict

You are murdering innocent children, women and old people for no reason whatsoever--You damned sons-of-bitches!

And you expect the world to do nothing--You dimwit morons!

Your lack of both humanity and intelligence is truly staggering.

Your inhumanity has deemed you unworthy of being among the countries of this earth. So hang on to your nukes because without them mankind would have long since ruled you unfit to be among its nations. You are, in fact, an existential danger to us all. Even the Chinese hold their noses before shaking your hand!

Fallen colossus: USSR's terror, triumphs began 100 years ago

****************************************************

The 49ers prove that winning franchises don’t require franchise QBs

Of course, a decade on they might be talking about Brock Purdy as the greatest QB of all time, and then everybody will realize that winning franchises do indeed require franchise QBs.

****************************************************

Ask Sahaj: My husband isn’t interested in sharing his culture with our kids

Well, if he's from a culture of head-hunting cannibals maybe he thinks it might come back and bite his ass.

****************************************************

Georgia Congressman Accused Of Illegally Voting 3 Times In One Year

It never fails: Murderers are always looking over their shoulders, thieves are always thinking everyone's out to rob them, and Republicans who shout voter fraud are usually the ones most likely to engage in it.

George Santos Questioned Dem Challenger’s Honesty In Now-Awkward Old Debate Clip

****************************************************

Sean Hannity Testified He Didn’t Believe Trump’s Election Fraud Lies ‘For 1 Second’

Sez he was just helping Trump push the lies strictly for any cash they could fleece off the suckers. [Ah, yes, Hannity looks a lot more respectful now.]

Pentagon Officials Feared Trump Would Try To Use Troops In His Jan. 6 Coup Attempt

Trump Did Float Idea Of 10,000 Troops Jan. 6 — To Protect Him On Capitol March: Committee

****************************************************

The Jan. 6 committee just lowered the boom on Trump. Now the ball is in DOJ’s court.

Unless everybody feels sorry for the poor bastard, of course. [It's not that Trump is The Teflon EX so much as he just keeps gluing bladeless knife-handles all over his body and claiming everybody stabbed him, everybody stabbed him.]

****************************************************

See how Republicans won the House but fell short of a red wave

Perhaps Republicans are finally getting sick of constantly drowning in an ocean of blood from cutting their own throats.

****************************************************

Jan. 6 Committee Says Donald Trump Associates Tried To Bribe Witnesses

Associates say that Trump was the one who wanted them bribed but that he was just too cheap to bribe them himself.

****************************************************

Trump Declares Himself 'Clairvoyant'; Critics Wonder How He Got Election So Wrong

"I knew you were gonna say that," sez Trump: "See!" In any case Trump sez that he's 'Clairvoyant' from now on!

****************************************************

Why Dickens Haunts Us

Because he's dead? [You knew that.]

****************************************************

Antarctica's emperor penguins could be extinct by 2100. And other species may follow if we don't act

Well, I pretty much know the part of King Lear's Fool by heart.

****************************************************

Endangered zoo crocodile dies of presumed electrical injury

Somebody should've told it that it takes at least 2 crocs to change a light bulb.

****************************************************

Jamie Raskin Skewers Electoral College: It’s ‘Become A Danger’ -- “We should elect the president the way we elect governors, senators, mayors, representatives, everybody else," Raskin said.

The creation of the Electoral College was a gimmick used by the Founders to get enough votes from representatives reluctant or downright afraid of establishing our nation as a democracy. [And from that moment until this day those who support democracy in America advocate its abolishment while those who are hesitant about democracy cling to the Electoral College's continuing and unnecessary threats to American democracy.] It's time to get rid of this useless and untrustworthy gimmick whose time passed long ago.

****************************************************

Putin says Moscow 'ready to negotiate' over Ukraine

What's to negotiate? Get out of Ukraine and the war is over. Ukraine isn't going to continue the war. Ukraine isn't going to invade Russia. If Putin wants to end his war the war is over.

Why do you think the entire world is on the side of Ukraine--even nations of otherwise questionable ethical principles! Only nations of an odious and abhorrent character like China, Iran, and North Korea stand with Putin (and then only because they have something materially to gain from Russia).

****************************************************

Co-writer Says Mariah Carey’s Story About ‘All I Want For Christmas’ Is A Snow Job

In Mariah Carey’s defense: "Sometimes you tell a lie so often you start believing it yourself." --Roy Biggins

****************************************************

Russia shoots down Ukrainian drone near its Engels airbase

Ukraine doesn't really have to use any powerful drones to attack Russia. All it really has to do is to send a detained perfectly accurate map of all of Moscow's critical infrastructure and electrical grid substations with the question: "Please confirm that these are the locations of all (or most of) your critical power-generation infrastructures." I think that the mere accuracy of the Ukrainians' map should be enough for Putin.

****************************************************

British Prime Minister Asks Homeless Man If He Works In Business

"Yes," the fellow replied: "I am the Chairman of The Board of The BBC: Why'd you think I'm homeless!"

****************************************************

Marriage may protect you from dementia - study

Sez that having to argue all day with your wife keeps your brain on the ball.

****************************************************

‘I Can’t Imagine Who Would Think It’s OK to Take Food Away From Kids’

Have you heard of something called the GOP?

****************************************************

Why the Queen's accent changed

Because during WWII it became unseemly for English royals to continue to speak with a German accent?

****************************************************

Twitter brings Elon Musk’s genius reputation crashing down to earth

If a guy with that much money cares about reputation he's probably also obsessed with making sure that he wears the correct-side sock on the correct-side foot. ["Drives me crazy!"]

****************************************************

Dave Barry’s Year in Review: No one cared how you did on ‘Wordle’

Hey! My Wordly score is one of my greatest achievements in life.

****************************************************

Ask a Doctor: 10 tips to help you live better

1) stop eating: buying food is one of the worst drains on your funds

****************************************************

Ghana police ban harmful New Year prophecies

Harmful prophecy: The PM is going to die.

Helpful one: The leader of the opposition is going to die.

****************************************************

The truth about a miracle cure that doesn’t exist

You can only buy it with money that does.

****************************************************

Russian sausage tycoon dies in Indian hotel fall

In case you were wondering: No. He did not slip on a sausage.

****************************************************

Taiwan extends mandatory military service to one year

One-year-olds who cannot walk with their rifles will be allowed to use strollers pushed by their mothers.

****************************************************

Here’s who helped Elon Musk buy Twitter

Or: Here's who's sorry now.

****************************************************

The man on a mission to plant five million trees

"One little treey-pooh, two little treey-poohs, three little treey-poohs..."

****************************************************

In a city a few hours from Moscow, mothers grieve their sons but don’t resent Putin’s war.

I think Putin is waiting for the Russian people to tell him to get out of Ukraine. And I think that the Russian people are not quite ready yet to tell Putin to get out of Ukraine. Putin will know when.

****************************************************

Afghanistan Taliban: 'I wish God had never created women'

Say that men are jolly good enough for them.

****************************************************

Criminal prosecution is the wrong idea. Use the 14th Amendment on Trump.

Stop thinking Trump is still president! Stop thinking Trump is special. Trump is no longer a special criminal--Trump is now a common criminal just like the rest of them. Always remember that justice in a democracy demands that all men be treated and considered to be equal. Trump should be prosecuted for his crimes, not for what he is or was or will be: Raw, crass, common criminal prosecution is exactly what is called for here for this crook.

****************************************************

Prince Harry Reveals What He Misses Most About Life In ‘The Institution’

The Royal Ass-Wiper? Sez hiring one here is prohibitively expensive.

****************************************************

ALSO: New York Prosecutors Launch Probe of ‘Stunning’ Santos Lies

The lies of the little fish are stunning but the lies of Trump the Whale-of-Whoppers are but bubbles in the blue unbothered?!

****************************************************

A 72-year-old congressman goes back to school, pursuing a degree in AI

Something like his happened with my mother: She always wanted to roller-skate when she was a little girl but never learned. So when she was 75 she finally determined to do so, slipped on a pair of skates, took off down the sidewalk, and was never seen again! "Huh!" Said my father: "Huh."

****************************************************

Protests mount as some Israelis fear new far-right party in power is anti-democratic

It never fails: What they should have done is gone out and vote! [Voting, not being able to protest, is the definition of democracy.]

****************************************************

Befuddled Trump Can’t Figure Out How Global Warming Is A Thing If Buffalo Is Freezing

Ivanka tried to calm him down and get him to not think about it lest he do himself a mischief, like when he thinks about Biden.

****************************************************

We asked an AI bot hundreds of questions. Here’s what we learned.

It doesn't know any more or any better than the guy who created it! [If it was a whiz kid who was born yesterday then that's as far as it goes.]

****************************************************

How many concussions are too many?

It depends on what you want to do with your brain later on in life: If all you want to do is go into politics then you can have as many as Herschel Walker and never give it a second thought.

****************************************************

George Santos said 9/11 ‘claimed my mother’s life.’ She died in 2016.

George sez now that she was a slow dier.

****************************************************

Aug. 8 | FBI searches Trump safe at Mar-a-Lago for possible classified documents

Search up into his ass: It is common knowledge that Trump used to clog up all his toilets with classified documents--Where do you think they were coming from!

****************************************************

Cameras struggle with dark skin. Here’s how Apple, Samsung and Google phones stack up.

Just as black people suspected: Even their own cameras are racist & stacked up against them.

****************************************************

Biden Calls Netanyahu A ‘Friend’ But Will Press Him On Two-State Solution

Calling for a two-state solution in Israel is the same as calling for a suicidal civil war in the Middle East because the second a Palestinian state is established [there] it will begin acquiring the arms it believes it needs to wipe out the Jews of Israel and then Israel will have no choice but to wipe it out. Consider for a moment why it is that fanatics there who want a suicidal war are the ones most strongly advocating for the two-state solution, along with all those outside the Middle East who have no real understanding of the mindset of the people of the Middle East--And I mean the true feelings beneath the feigned pretenses offered publicly for the sake of some perceived private gain.

I believe that it is possible someday to come to a two-state framework, but that's not what's possible now. Such a futuristic possibility may open up when the Palestinians themselves advocate a Palestinian state that can live in peace and friendship with the Jews of Israel. Let us see when such a thing develops.

****************************************************

Trump Floats Third-Party Threat If GOP Won’t Back Him

Claims a lot of other people who will be in the slammer with him can vote now.

****************************************************

'West using Ukraine to destroy Russia' - Putin

Well then why don't you defeat the West's evil intentions by pulling out of Ukraine! You will rejoice at having defeated their evil attempt to destroy Russia, and they will lament their failed plot. [You know, if Russia used but just a tenth of the cash it's wasting on rockets to vainly attempt to subjugate Ukraine a goodly number of the common folks of Russia could see their standard of living shoot up like a rocket... even taking Russia's tremendous graft into account]

****************************************************

Another Woman Files Sex Abuse Lawsuit Against Bill Cosby, NBC

Cosby sez, "Bring it on!" Claims that, like Trump, he's too wealthy to be found guilty in this country.

****************************************************

George Santos Names Another Well-Known Liar As His Inspiration In Old Clip

In it Santos sez that Pinocchio should have kept lying and then used his long wooden nose as a lance to skewer his enemies.

****************************************************

Putin, unaccustomed to losing, is increasingly isolated as war falters

China is concerned that if Russia nukes the United States it might have to start selling its goods to India instead--and India won't pay U.S. prices. [Besides, India makes a lot of its money from the U.S.] No more dollars for China.

"For years, Western elites hypocritically assured us of their peaceful intentions," Putin said in a speech "And then, Bam! Just like THAT we invaded Ukraine." Then Putin pulled out his cuckoo pipe and blew a tune on it.

"The West lied about peace," Putin went on: "It was preparing for aggression..." showing clips of the Russian army marching into Ukraine to Putin's ever more desperate cuckoo tune.

****************************************************

Russia’s war lacks strategy, only aim is to bring suffering - analysis

"Slava Ukrayini!"

"Putin Khuylo!"

****************************************************

When Does Life Begin?

It depends on the planet, but life began here on ours over 4 billion years ago. That's just about enough time for us to invent lying about the self-evident, staring right at something with everybody watching and claiming it's not there at all (for political gain). Attaway Trump! [We have not yet evolved to the point where someone in the crowd says, "What are you, some kind of a nut?!?" Sorry.]

****************************************************

Woman finds out she is her daughter's mother - and uncle

Lucky kid: Now, when the kid goes to the movies she can ask her mother and her uncle for some cash without having to go to separate rooms. ["Am I speaking with Mom now or with Uncle Seb?"]

****************************************************

Bill Gates made 2022's Biggest Charitable Donation

Trump stole $5 bucks from a 7-11 charity donations can while the clerk wasn't looking.

****************************************************

Where do you really come from? That’s a toxic question.

True. I always answer that I came from my Mother's pussy, and that I have a valid passport.

****************************************************

Trump Wanted To Trademark ‘Rigged Election,’ Jan. 6 Testimony Transcript Reveals

Somebody should have told him to try to trademark 'The Biggest Loser' instead: Trump has a much better claim on that than the TV show.

Donald Trump ordered by judge to face New York fraud lawsuit

Special Counsel Could Decide On Trump Charges Soon With New Records Trove: Report

****************************************************

Miss Manners: She doesn’t want more photos of grandkids for Christmas

She wants photos of dead presidents instead.

****************************************************

Jan. 6 Panel Transcripts Show Gen. Milley Agreed With Pelosi That Trump Was ‘Crazy’

It's on Pence for not agreeing to invoke the 25th Amendment clause and remove Looney Trump once & for all.

****************************************************

Roger Stone Has At Least One Good Thing To Say About Joe Biden

He's not Trump?

****************************************************

Gun parts found in a Jif after man hid them in peanut butter, TSA says

"No. No," said the man, who claimed he was a peanut butter enthusiast: "Didn't you hear about the recall of this particular brand of peanut butter because they found bits of metal in it!"

****************************************************

Defending against Russian drones is expensive, but Ukraine sees the cost as worth it.

What price democracy? What price freedom? What price when it is the freedom and democracy of the entire world that's at stake?

****************************************************

Supporters demand sainthood for Benedict as Pope Francis leads funeral

Brazilians also demanded that Pelé be made an angel.

****************************************************

Gaza claims Israel not allowing in X-ray machines for medical care

"You know what," said Gaza authorities: "Screw it: We've got plenty other torture devices here."

****************************************************

Medvedev threatens US with hypersonic cruise missiles, likens US to Nazis

Medvedev, a monstrous moron, later claimed that Putin was really Santa Claus. [Medvedev sez he got a nice little Cho-Cho train for supporting Putin.]

****************************************************

Ask Amy: My husband’s hoarding is becoming a dealbreaker

He simply does not want to let go and let me sell his Momma on eBay!

Funeral home owner jailed after selling body parts from over 500 victims

****************************************************

Russia’s ambassador to the United States, Anatoly I. Antonov, said on Friday that Mr. Biden’s latest promise of weapons showed that Washington “has no desire” for a political settlement in Ukraine.

Sir, when your army is in someone else's country the only thing the invaded country can negotiate is surrender--And the Ukrainians will not surrender: They will either throw the Russian army out of Ukraine or kill it in its entirety where it now is.

Time is not on Ukraine’s side

****************************************************

Why are men attracted to women's breasts?

Yeah. And why are little girls attracted to unicorns? [And why does everybody encourage this creepy obsession?] And why aren't men attracted to other men's hairy beer bellies instead?

Conundrums fill the universe!

****************************************************

Hey, Bravo: Get the ‘Housewives’ criminals off my TV

Why do people demand the world change instead of just trying to change themselves? Change the channel, Charley! Change the channel!

****************************************************

US blasts Wagner releasing convict-soldiers, enlisting from Chechen jails

The Ukrainians are fighting for their country while the Russians are being paid to fight for Putin. The Ukrainians are the ordinary people of Ukraine while the Russians are mercenaries, gang members, and other criminals. It is impossible for the Ukrainians to lose this war.

****************************************************

Rodent: Friend or foe? ‘Pests’ explores how some animals become villains.

Well, that black death episode did tarnish the reputation of rats a might.

****************************************************

Benedict’s Burial Leaves Francis Alone, and Unbound

Fear not, Francis. You are not alone: Mankind stands by a man who is good.

****************************************************

Trump Battles On Truth Social To Make Voting As Inconvenient As Possible

Claims he would have been elected president if so many damn people hadn't voted for Biden.

****************************************************

Trump Says Biden ‘Convinced’ Putin To Bomb Ukraine In Mar-a-Lago Campaign Speech

Later Trump told a kid that the lump of coal he got from Santa was also Biden's idea. ["Somebody stop me."]

****************************************************

Is This The End?

We'll see later.

****************************************************

Russia opts out of European anti-corruption convention

Sez that it only has so much time before the cops show up.

****************************************************

He ate at 18 Michelin-starred restaurants in a day — and set a world record

Now he plans to hang his Golden Toilet Seat award over his fireplace mantle.

****************************************************

The T. rex may have been a lot smarter than you thought

Palaeontologists say that there's only one possible purpose for T. rex's stubby little arms as far as they can see and that was to hold up a newspaper they were reading.

****************************************************

Egg prices haven’t come down with inflation. Here’s why.

1) inflation causes prices to go up not down

2) if people keep buying eggs at high prices, only a crazed seller would cut the price

****************************************************

Opinion: What Happened To The Truth?

It's still there. It's just waiting for Trump and the Republicans to get out of the way.

****************************************************

Trump’s Longtime Finance Chief Is Sentenced to 5 Months in Jail

Trump sez Weisselberg can do that standing on his head. ["He'd do anything for me!"]

****************************************************

How to travel to space, Earth’s hottest new destination

If I can't get there on a bicycle it's not worth the trip.

****************************************************

Republican Kevin Adams concedes in race for Va. Senate seat

Scientists are now asking him to donate his brain to science to see if they can find out exactly what it is that made a Republican concede an election. And they're so curious about this that they said he doesn't even have to wait until after he's dead.

****************************************************

These photos explore mysterious connections between life and death

1) for some strange reason most people who die were alive (this can't possibly be a coincidence)

****************************************************

T. rexes may have built tools, solved problems, new findings suggest

The biggest problem they had was keeping an eye on their junk. However, none of them was ever able to invent a mirror. ["Hey, Al, how's it look?"] And none of them was able to get a little helping hand from a friend either.

****************************************************

Carolyn Hax: Husband second-guesses having his elderly mom move in

Sez the old broad is still strong enough to live out in the street on her own.

****************************************************

House Republicans vote to restrict abortion rights

So now you know that when ducks tell you they're not going to swim or fly 'ever!' they're lying. Really, all you really had to know was that they're ducks.

McCarthy says he’s willing to look at expunging a Trump impeachment

The GOP’s shift against supporting Ukraine hits a new milestone -- A majority of Republicans now say they no longer support funding Ukraine, according to a new poll.

On Day 1, Gov. Sarah Huckabee Sanders targets critical race theory

****************************************************

No, millennials, it’s not inevitable your kids will see porn online

Parents actually have to teach them how to get to it.

****************************************************

Biden says documents weren't sitting out on the street

Sez that after he read'em he used to spread'em around so his wet feet wouldn't have to touch the floor when he got out of the shower.

****************************************************

Should parents care about 'milestones'?

Only if the kids keep picking'em up and putting'em in their mouths.

****************************************************

I Didn’t Have Sex For Almost A Decade. I Was Surprised By What I Discovered When I Finally Did.

The "you don't use it you lose it" crack is true.

****************************************************

Why Republican Politicians Still Hate Medicare

A new rule could give House lawmakers a tax-free $34,000 pay bump.

"You need a thousand bucks to save your life? Cry me a river. Ha Ha. Ha."

Need we say more?

****************************************************

Despite concussions, Tua Tagovailoa expected to return as Dolphins’ 2023 starter, report says

I agree he's the best choice going forward. However, I'd check to see if Earl Morrall might be willing to come back from the grave & play a few more years for the Dolphins.

****************************************************

US Patriot training confirms participation in Ukraine conflict-Russian ambassador

US Patriot training confirms that human beings dislike to watch brutal murderers killing noncombatant old people, women and children in Ukraine indiscriminately for sport, spite, and for no other reason or purpose than the sheer psychopathic pleasure of just killing them... and do nothing about it. But, obviously, when it comes to Russians we can stop trying to make them understand this simple evolutionary modern development of humanity and just pass the ammunition to their unfortunate victims.

Prompted by Russian aggression, the E.U. and NATO vow new cooperation.

When Russia bombs a building full of people, this is the aftermath

More than 200 Russian doctors petition Putin to give medical care to Navalny.

This might be an exercise in futility something akin to victims in a horror movie asking the monster not to harm them.

****************************************************

Russian ex-president Medvedev says Japanese PM should disembowel himself

Japanese PM sez that unlike when Medvedev performed a lobotomy on himself he can afford proper professional medical care, thank you so much.

****************************************************

Why talking to your plants is good for them (and you)

Plants thrive on manure, so your deadly breath is their breath of life. And then you can eat them up in a salad. So basically it's a win/win situation.

****************************************************

Wedding trends: Dogs and cats up for adoption at the reception

"Do you have any kids up for adoption?"

"Sure. We've got a few of'em tied up in the backyard."

****************************************************

Three Reasons the Republican Party Keeps Coming Apart at the Seams

1) the only thing they ever do seamlessly is try to get themselves elected

2) as a favor to the Democrats the GOP's collected all the nitwits in the one canoe

****************************************************

Baby born with fully developed teeth shocks mother, doctors

"I'm not breast-feeding him," said the mother. "Get him a burger."

****************************************************

Ask Amy: Husband’s paranoid and erratic behavior scares his wife

Get a different husband. [And, sister, before it's too late.]

****************************************************

Kevin McCarthy Open To Idea Of Expunging Trump’s Impeachments

Sez he's just as convinced that Republican in good standing Ted Bundy got a raw deal too.

****************************************************

Miss Manners: How to politely end unwanted political conversations

Do what my mother used to do: Very politely but sternly say to them: "Man, you really are stupid!" And then walk away.

****************************************************

Ask Amy: Two women are having my babies. What should I do?

It's what you shouldn't have done, buddy.

****************************************************

Russians are living in a frightening, distorted reality

This s not as rare a thing as you might think: Republicans here are also living in their own distorted reality; and so are many many people out there all over the world. The thing that really gets my goat is the apparent lack of perception (intelligence) on the part of all these people: Their 'obviously I am right and the rest of the world is wrong' approach to reality is beyond my own humble understanding. I know that if I were convinced that I was a perfectly normal human being but everybody else kept telling me that I was a horse, I'd start neighing (even if only just in case).

****************************************************

He asked for $1 million after police pepper-sprayed him. He got $3,685.

Cops said that was all they had with them. (And he was lucky they had just cleaned out a drug dealer a couple of blocks down.)

****************************************************

A fisherman hooked a ‘huge’ tuna. Then he went overboard and vanished.

Said he could never top that one. [Wait a minute: The fisherman or the tuna vanished?]

****************************************************

Snowy the owl eats rats and fends off nosy crows. But nobody can figure out why she’s here.

To eat rats and fend off nosy crows would be a good guess. I doubt it's there to audition for a movie.

****************************************************

Can a severed finger unlock a phone? Answers to your security questions.

Only in a horror movie. In real life the finger would need the rest of the hand, arm, body, and a brain to boot.

****************************************************

Miss Manners: Customer is frustrated by automatic tip recommendations

Why don't all these cheap people just go to a buffet?!

****************************************************

Is China's population drop surprising?

With as many fucking Chinese as there are, absolutely.

****************************************************

Why has there been a steady drop in science’s big breakthroughs?

What explains the rise of the Trump Republicans? The two might be tied to the probability that we're just getting stupider.

****************************************************

I Got Married To Myself. Here’s What A Wedding For 1 Looks Like.

The dance with the father of the bride was awkward.

****************************************************

Sister André, World’s Oldest Known Person, Dies at 118 in France

O My God, I'm almost that old now!

****************************************************

A blond moose went viral — but his rare color is a disadvantage, experts say

Claim that other mooses (sic.) never take him seriously.

****************************************************

Scientists have found the first known microbes that can eat only viruses

Microbes say they're the only thing that'll fit in their mouths.

****************************************************

How Mafia boss was caught at a clinic after 30 years

I've never had to wait 30 years in a clinic (closest I ever came was 25 years on my Medicare nose job clinic--Wife sez they botched it... I should get my money back). He should've gone out for coffee or a bagel, something.

****************************************************

Crocodile Ambushes Buffalo And The Battle Of Wills Begins

The croc understands teeth, but the buffalo understood the law of gravity: Buffalo won on smarts (you just don't know how much a croc's bite smarts until one bites you).

****************************************************

McConnell Says Trump, Biden Should Be Treated ‘Exactly The Same’ Over Documents

Then he added, "Throw'em both in the garbage," outside of everybody's hearing (except mine).

Trump withdraws lawsuit against N.Y. attorney general

****************************************************

DESANTIS PUSH TO PERMANENTLY BAN MASK AND VAX MANDATES

If I live a thousand years I will NEVER understand what Republicans have against staying healthy!

‘There is no plan. There’s nothing’: Florida Democrats in despair over future

****************************************************

G.O.P. Leaders Stand by Santos as N.Y. Republicans Call on Him to Resign

"Why should he?" Asked Kevin McCarthy, claiming that Santos is a perfectly typical Republican.

****************************************************

During Deposition, Trump Mistook Photo Of Rape Accuser For His Ex-Wife

Sez he's raped so many women over the years that he can't tell one from the other anymore. And that he deserves praise for that.

****************************************************

Ukraine's Zelensky says he is 'unsure if Vladimir Putin is still alive'

What Zelensky should do is invite Putin to visit Kyiv--If he doesn't show up then that means Putin's dead.

****************************************************

How can we make food last longer?

1) don't eat it

2) keep the fact you have some to yourself

****************************************************

Trump Giving ‘Political Speech’ To Judicial Watch, Which Is Not Supposed To Do Politics

In Trump's defense: He really doesn't know which end is up.

Judge Orders Trump and Lawyer to Pay Nearly $1 Million for Bogus Suit

****************************************************

I Lost My Dad. These Are The 7 Words I Wish I’d Never Been Told At His Funeral.

"He's cut you out of the will."

****************************************************

Eating Ketchup Helps Man Survive 24 Days Lost At Sea

Then he said he couldn't eat his first hamburger on reaching land because it had Ketchup on it.

****************************************************

Chicken DNA is replacing the genetics of their ancestral jungle fowl

Now, instead of running away from people the fowls are banging on people's doors demanding to be fed. They're even offering their eggs in exchange for a few grains of maize.

****************************************************

Trial resumes for David Barnes, American detained in Russia

Don't worry, if he's got a good lawyer I'm sure he'll get off. [Just thought I'd throw that joke in there.]

****************************************************

Christian leaders start to break from Trump — with an eye on DeSantis

Wonder how long it's going to be before these bastards place their eyes on God again?

****************************************************

He Invested $625,000 With George Santos. Now He Says the Money Is Gone.

"Let me see... should I invest it with JPMorgan or with George Santos...?"

****************************************************

Carolyn Hax: Wife finishes sentences for irked, slow-talking husband

My wife does this to me too, so I taught myself to stop starting all my sentences with, "Duh..." [Also, I stopped taking her with me whenever I wanted to say something to somebody.]

****************************************************

Carolyn Hax chat: Every time I get sick, my boyfriend is suddenly sicker

Be happy: He's just trying to make you see that you are healthier than you like to think you are.

****************************************************

Alec Baldwin To Be Charged With Involuntary Manslaughter In Fatal ‘Rust’ Shooting

In Alec Baldwin's defense: Can he help it if he got the only gun ever made that fires itself when you fire it at somebody to scare them to death as a practical joke?

****************************************************

Mitch McConnell Says U.S. Will ‘Never’ Default On Its Debt As Standoff Looms

Then someone reminded McConnell that he was a Republican.

****************************************************

For a third time, investigators find more files during a 13-hour search of the US president's home.

In an unrelated news item: There's a rumor going around that Trump was seen consulting with a badass Cuban Voodoo witchdoctor some days before all those top secret documents started showing up everywhere Biden's ever been.

****************************************************

Germany is refusing to send tanks to Ukraine. Biden cannot let this stand.

If Biden were smart [?] he'd send 10 or 12 Abrams to Ukraine. That's all Germany really wants.

****************************************************

Moscow in danger? Why was an air defense system put on Defense Ministry HQ?

In the kind of war we see developing: If Moscow were to use a tactical nuke against Ukraine then Ukraine would have no choice but to use a dirty bomb (most likely against Moscow or perhaps St. Petersburg). Then the question becomes: If you shoot down such a drone, would it not spread contamination over a wider area than if you just let it reach its target?

****************************************************

Ask Amy: My partner performed a sex act I did not consent to

He did get a strong response from an approving audience on Evangelical night, though. (Them guys are always happy to see that sort of thing, however.)

****************************************************

How to bring Putin and his henchmen to justice

More strategy from the Keaton Cops Institute?

****************************************************

Pro-Trump Commentator Diamond’s Cause Of Death Revealed

Yes, we know: A bad heart.

****************************************************

Humans still have the genes for a full coat of body hair

Just thought they'd mention it in case we ever run out of cotton.

****************************************************

Who is right? Who is Wrong? Let the numbers tell the truth in this story:

More than 20,000 fighters from 52 countries volunteered for Ukraine's military

Russia sends drug addicts to war to up mobilization numbers

Putin is having to send the dregs of society to fight his war, while the Ukrainians cannot find weapons enough to arm the heroes of their nation (and their national heroes) wanting to defeat the Russian criminals invading Ukiraine.

Around 700,000 Russians have fled their country to avoid having to fight Putin's war.

Chechens, Crimean Tatars and people from the former Soviet republics, all with deep historical grievances against Moscow, are eagerly taking up arms for Kyiv.

Are we seeing the beginning of the end of Putinism?

****************************************************

An ant’s sense of smell is so strong, it can sniff out cancer

Makes sense: I've never heard of an ant with cancer. My aunt had cancer, true; but that's an entirely different matter altogether.

****************************************************

‘WHAT THE HECK?’: GOP SENATORS BAFFLED BY PENCE DOC DISCOVERY

Claim that Mike Pence is way too stupid for anybody to have given him any serious documents to read. ["That's why Trump picked him!"]

****************************************************

'Friend or foe' bacteria kill their algal hosts when coexisting is no longer beneficial

Scientists call this the 'divorce is not an option' option.

****************************************************

Why is leprosy still with us.

Because humans are such incurable sentimentalists.

****************************************************

Eating chicken without killing chicken?

I don't like where this is going.

****************************************************

Turkey’s president says Sweden shouldn’t expect support for a NATO membership bid

If NATO were smart they're throw out Turkey and add Sweden; even if only for the blonds.

****************************************************

George Santos Miffed GOP Sen. John Kennedy Called Him A ‘Bunny Boiler’

I've never eaten rabbit in my life, myself; although a couple of times I've ask for some at Burger King (the only place I eat out).

****************************************************

Watch Ted Cruz Flip-Flop On Live TV In 30 Seconds Flat

Pass: I've seen that particlar acrobatic act too many times already.

****************************************************

Kevin McCarthy Spells Out What It Would Take To Remove Santos From Congress

1) if he lied about being a Republican

2) Kevin McCarthy can spell?!?

****************************************************

Only 4 percent of men who want to give sperm actually do

The rest are just in it for the ride.

****************************************************

A stranger planned to bomb my mosque. He became a member instead.

So, now he only bombs for the mosque? Isn't, like, planning to bomb places illegal anymore? Just asking. [Nice recruiting, though.]

****************************************************

Ask Amy: I suspect I’m not the biological father of my adult son

Were you only rearing him for spare body parts when you got old? Because that's a bummer right there: You rear these boys all those years expecting to harvest a few organs when you're old and need'em--and then, "Bam!" Only to find they're biologically incompatible. The money it cost you just to feed'em! "Son of a bitch!" And then you gotta get on some national waiting list for your organs in the worst of your old age like some last-place nobody: Sometimes life is so unfair to otherwise good people who are doing the right thing for the right reason all their lives!

****************************************************

The Constitution Has a 155-Year-Old Answer to the Debt Ceiling

There are many things Biden can do without having to wait for Congress to do it. But he too wants to see the opposition get blamed for it not getting done: It's only human nature, I'm afraid. [We'll just have to live with it until AI is allowed to run for office.]

Opinion: Trump’s Theft Of Classified Documents And Joe Biden’s Forgetfulness Are Not The Same

****************************************************

Miss Manners: Neighbor says we can’t afford our new car

Tell him you agree and that he can have it if he just gives you a tidy little profit so you can run around with something you can afford.

****************************************************

Priest says he went to Hell, wouldn't wish it on his worst enemy

Obviously something this priest must have done in this life doomed him to this peek there, although he declined to discuss that part--Although, who doesn't think that it must have had something to do with his being a priest? [Otherwise he wouldn't have been a priest in Hell.]

****************************************************

Eddie Murphy Names The Most Naturally Funny Person Ever

Murphy said it was Red Foxx, but he could just as easily have named Wanda Sykes, Jackie Mason, Groucho Marx, Martha Raye, Stan Laurel, and a slew of others. I, on the other hand, am convinced that Rodney Dangerfield tops them all as the most naturally funny person ever, if only just because of the sound and mannerisms of his natural voice: Dangerfield had a voice that made just about anything and everything he said sound hilarious--even if it really wasn't. The fact that he actually became a comic was only one of those inevitables in life no one can ever argue against, apparently least of all Dangerfield himself. [My favorite will always remain Stan Laurel, of course.]

****************************************************

This restaurant is run by grandmothers. Customers clap for them each night.

It's nice of them to help keep them awake like that.

****************************************************

Purported Delivery Driver Interrupts College Basketball Game

The game of air basketball they were plying was immediately cancelled and they then started playing with the balls that were delivered (in spite of protests from the team that was ahead).

****************************************************

Channing Tatum Reveals If He’ll Ever Tell His Daughter He Used To Be A Stripper

Sez he'll keep her from learning how to read (so she won't read this) until after he makes up his mind whether to tell her or not.

****************************************************

Want to live to be 100? Here’s what experts recommend.

By someone who enjoys a lot of pain, grief, and human tragedy; because if you live a 100 years you're going to see a lot of that. [I mean, really, who wants to live a 100 years on purpose?!?]

How to juggle multiple TV streaming services without missing a show

Ah! Here's someone who's obviously got nothing better to do than to live a 100 years!

****************************************************

GOP Rep. Cory Mills hands out dummy grenades to House members

Well, if the Republicans there are planning on blowing themselves up into dummies... somebody should tell them that they're pretty much already there.

****************************************************

I Flew Across The Country For My Mom’s Wedding. When I Arrived, She Uninvited Me.

When she invites you to her next wedding draw up a legal document that in case it doesn't all go down as planned she has to indemnify your travel expenses in full. (Which is what you should have done with this one--You know your Mom better than anyone, C'mon!)

****************************************************

A 19-foot asteroid will come ‘very close’ to Earth tonight, NASA says

Well, let's hope that it triggers an unintended nuclear holocaust then, because just by itself it doesn't seem to me it will be able to do much damage.

****************************************************

Scientists invented a melting liquid robot that can escape from a cage

But not from the bottom of a glass. Then it's stuck.

****************************************************

Aggressive turkey settled near woman’s home, forcing her to arm herself when she goes outside

Obviously the first thing this woman should do is to stop dehumanizing her new neighbor. Then she should learn that nothing is ever settled by the use of guns.

****************************************************

New study finds 6 ways to slow memory decline and lower dementia risk

1) stop watching TV

2) never say, "Yes, dear."

3)

****************************************************

Peter was already robbed. He can’t pay Paul.

I assume Peter can still co-sign a load, no? He hasn't also lost the use of his hands, has he?

****************************************************

National Archives asks past presidents, VPs to look for classified items

Also... unpaid traffic tickets, child-support requests, overlooked legal summons and arrest warrants (where appropriate).

****************************************************

How do you stop abortion? Here’s what antiabortion marchers told me.

1) "Hey, you! What'R you doi'n in there!"

****************************************************

Michael Jackson’s Nephew Jaafar Jackson To Play Him In Biopic

His voice, though, will be dubbed in by Minnie Mouse.

****************************************************

Miss Manners: Can I refuse handshakes because of someone’s politics?

I refuse to shake hands all the time with everybody. I just tell people I lost both my arms in a skiing accident. Curiously, nobody has ever asked me if I'm wearing prostheses, although a few have told me that they look very natural.

****************************************************

Newsrooms that move beyond ‘objectivity’ can build trust

Sure: From subjective elements.

****************************************************

Masked Man Wanted After Hurling Molotov Cocktail At New Jersey Synagogue: Police

Tonto willing to testify against the culprit in exchange for immunity.

****************************************************

Your Investment Lost Money Last Year. So Why the Big Tax Bill?

1) because you're not Donald Trump

****************************************************

My Son Asked For Minnie Mouse Underwear And I Realized We Have A Big Problem

Of course. Those things don't have a fly!

****************************************************

‘This Is the Best Chicken I’ve Ever Had’

Too bad the chicken can't reciprocate.

****************************************************

An Asteroid Just Passed Very Close to Earth

That explains the crease on my skull.

****************************************************

Turkey may deport Iranian asylum seeker who is facing prison, son

It is a foolish asylum seeker who seeks asylum where there is none to be had.

****************************************************

Trump Suggests, Yet Again, He Trusts Putin Over U.S. Intelligence ‘Lowlifes’

Sez it will be an honor to serve with Putin in Hell. Sez he's oiling up his ass now.

****************************************************

Trump Sues Bob Woodward For Publishing Audio Interviews

Trump also sued his ass-wiper for rubbing him the wrong way.

****************************************************

Balance training can help you avoid falls, stay steady on your feet

I took this course when I was one year old: It works!

****************************************************

The crimes Trump could be charged with in Fulton County, Georgia

Actually, Trump could be charged with a million crimes in a million counties (were there that many). The question is whether he will be charged with even one-in-one.

****************************************************

What's the best color to paint a small, dark room?

With the lights on or off?

****************************************************

Putin Promises Victory in Ukraine as His Forces Strike a Key City -- In his speech, Mr. Putin said that the Soviets triumphed over the Nazis because of their “solid, absolute belief that truth is on our side”

Actually, the Soviets triumphed over the Nazis in large part because the West, England and especially the United States, sustained them with war materiel the Russians could never have produced. Putin should take note of that; and note that it is the Ukraine the West is now sustaining with war materiel.

How Shells Are Forged for Ukraine’s Artillery

****************************************************

Vikings brought animals to England as early as the year 873

You're talking about their fellow-Vikings, right?

****************************************************

Trump is at risk of being what he least wants to be: Boring

That's the problem with being crass & looney to get attention: Eventually crass becomes the norm, everybody's driven looney, and then your only chance to draw attention to yourself is to put a bullet through your head. Mister Trump...?

****************************************************

Surprising mummy ingredients found at ancient Egyptian workshop

1) Doctor Pepper
2) Cheetos
3) Hai Karate
4) Grey Poupon
5) American cheese
6) Ketchup
7) Spam

****************************************************

AI chatbot mimics anyone in history — but gets a lot wrong, experts say

Wow! Exactly like real people!

****************************************************

What started off as a simple manicure ended up as skin cancer

How much do you tip for that?

****************************************************

Miss Manners: My friend has a large nude painting of herself on display

Where did you say she lives? [Is it a shy nude or a no-holds-barred nude?]

****************************************************

Jennifer Grey Shares Update On That Long-Awaited ‘Dirty Dancing’ Sequel

Sez it now has something to do with adult diapers.

****************************************************

How lost radioactive capsule in Australia poses potentially dangerous threat

Trump would find it in a heartbeat: He'd plaster all the newspapers down there with the lie that whoever swallows it will gain life eternal and then check all the hospitals for the sucker.

****************************************************

Alec Baldwin Accused of ‘Extremely Reckless Acts’ in ‘Rust’ Killing

Betcha he wishes now that he'd been a more serious and mature fellow.

****************************************************

Two Monkeys Taken From Dallas Zoo Are Found at an Empty Home

Monkeys say it was very affordable and in a nice neighborhood.

****************************************************

Parents leave baby behind at Israeli airport check-in

"Sorry, Ma'am, but you can't take the baby onboard."

"Oh? Okay then, here: Give it to somebody."

****************************************************

Minnesota teen has slept in his backyard for nearly 3 years just for fun

Dude, you're in denial: Your parents have kicked you outta the house, man.

****************************************************

Iranian Couple Who Went Viral For Dancing Sentenced To 10 Years In Prison

Wow! They were that bad!?! No wonder they went viral.

****************************************************

Carolyn Hax: What kind of friend gives a weight-loss book as a gift?

A friend who is obviously concerned that you might visit and leave his floor boards sagging like a 100-year old bed.

****************************************************

Mobster tracked down as pizza chef after 16 years

Police refuse to arrest him--claim he makes the best pizzas.

****************************************************

Putin says Russia facing German tanks again

Germans say that this time, without Hitler gumming up their war plans, they will finally be able to conquer the Soviet Union.

****************************************************

Why Are So Many Americans Dying Right Now

Weren't the baby-boomers born 80 years ago?

****************************************************

A 6-year-old ordered $1,000 in takeout. The reason: He was hungry.

Kid's either a very finnicky gourmet or a very fat gourmand.

****************************************************

Punxsutawney Phil is wrong: Spring is arriving early in some places

Too late: Phil's already cashed his check and is on vacation.

****************************************************

Trump declines to say if he’ll support eventual 2024 GOP presidential nominee

Even if it's himself?!? Now he's just trying to out-loon himself.

****************************************************

Wondering about the Alec Baldwin criminal charge? Here’s how the law works.

1) if you're a nobody you do the time the judge gives you

2) if you're somebody the judge asks you how much time you wanna do

****************************************************

Chinese spy balloon flying over U.S. ‘right now,’ Pentagon says

Chinese claim that it's the Americans' fault for not buying more of their goods: They can't afford satellites now. [Apparently Chinese heard that some women here like to sunbathe nude on their rooftops.]

****************************************************

Miss Manners: Solo diner feels shamed by host’s ‘just one?’ question

Don't you just hate people who want others around them to always remain in doubt! That's not me. I always prefer to remove all doubt. If I'm curious about the weight of some women or other I will ask her: "Madam, are you closer to 320 pounds or only around 290?"

****************************************************

Who will be indicted first: Santos or Trump? Jennifer Rubin answered your questions.

Santos. Prosecutors are deadly afraid of Trump calling them Booby-Loobies or some other such.

Ex-Prosecutor’s Book Details Struggle Over Indicting Trump On His Business Records

****************************************************

Reese Witherspoon Totally Blew An Audition With Robert De Niro Over 1 Big Mistake

She called him Mister Dinero?

****************************************************

Land-dwelling rats are upending life for coral reef fish

I think it would be wrong to try to kill these rats: Rats are the creatures who will develop intelligent life on this planet after we humans go extinct. Even the Bible clearly sez: "The rats shall inherit the earth."

****************************************************

Trump Says He Deserves ‘Revenge Tour’ If Reelected

God! Isn't it enough that he shot that old lady on Fifth Avenue! (He didn't even lose any votes.)

****************************************************

Silk Now Claims A ‘Bio Weapon’ Sprayed Into The Air Killed Her Sister Diamond

It's nice that in a time of such mourning for his sister he would still try to lift our spirits with such a marvelous joke.

****************************************************

Cancer diagnosis is not a death sentence anymore

It's still nothing to cheer about though, right?

****************************************************

'Ukraine will burn': Russia's Medvedev warns Kyiv amid US weapon supply

Somebody should remind Medvedev that 'what Russia wants is to rescue Ukraine,' not destroy it.

****************************************************

Republicans Push To Rename Part Of John Lewis Way In Nashville To 'Honor' Trump

Why don't they wait until Trump's in the slammer--Then they can name it 'The Great Trump Way Down The Skids.'

****************************************************

Man Accused Of Taking Dallas Zoo Monkeys Also Linked To Leopard Escape

The world is teeming with pointless vandals. Think of how much money this poor sap might have made if he'd only opted to try his hand at flipping burgers instead.

****************************************************

Prosecutors Feared They’d Have To Prove Trump Wasn’t Legally Insane: Book

You can always prove the opposite because Trump is obviously a loon. But, it's also always possible that he could be declared legally 'sane enough' to stand trial.

***************************