When the news get too depressing these are the books to read.

Now, where can one find happiness? Always a good place to start is: anywhere a good, sound couple of laughs wash away the alternative, of course. And each of the Tricky Headlines eBooks holds hundreds and hundreds of laughs for the having. Here you can enjoy the hilarious, definitely not politically correct (PC) quips, comments, and invariably irreverent observations of/by S D Rodrian on today's news headlines collected in this ever continuing series of books intended most especially of all for the latest eReaders out there (each & every available tablet, computer, and iPhone you can buy).

In a world of serious, sad, and even quite tragic circumstances (a world in which about the greatest need is & always will remain the need for laughter), humor always is the point of departure here... ever the abiding goal of these forthright takes on today's so very truly tricky headlines.

S D Rodrian

[Below you can read some of their contents.]

Latter-Day-Musings / S D Rodrian
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THE BOOK ON TRUMP
Tricky Headlines 6 / S D Rodrian
Kindle eBook (Amazon.com)  Barnes And Noble  Walmart  Kobo
There is no better book to understand both the follies
and the folly of Donald Trump.

Tricky Headlines 5 / S D Rodrian
Happy Schadenfreudes to You Democrats & Republicans!
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Tricky Headlines 3 / S D Rodrian
The World Is Funnier Than It Lets On
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Tricky Headlines 4 / S D Rodrian
Sinful Pleasures of the Anti-Politically Correct
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Tricky Headlines 1 / S D Rodrian
A profound treatise upon the human condition.
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Tricky Headlines 2 / S D Rodrian
An Amusing Stare Into The Tragedies of Man.
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Continuing this flippant series of hilarious eBooks exploiting the apparent inability of the writers & editors of today's "Tricky Headlines" to compose clear, unambiguous copy--Puzzlement, amazement, outrage, and the humor of their folly, silliness, ambiguity, injustice, intent to deceive, along with all the rest of it. Intended for an adult audience (think of these items as comics without the graphics). Every collection suitable to be the ideal reading companion for any seated occasion.
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Do buy my eBooks and help me to topple Bill Gates off the top of that swanky Forbes's list. eBook Image

What, you want to get bogged down in some inane novel written by a tiresome pointless novelist, or you wanna laugh at the stupidity of Man?

[You may preview these eBooks at Amazon.com]

       The Kindle Store

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       Click Here for S D Rodrian's eBooks at The KOBO Store.

       S D Rodrian's eBooks at Walmart

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       Click Here for S D Rodrian's eBooks at Barnes & Noble.

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You can a rate & review of the Tricky Headlines at Amazon.com, but note the two reviews already there: One verified purchaser of an ebook wrote a four star review saying he/she found it a "funny take on news" although cautioning it is not "very politically correct." While a reviewer named "Clara" (who doesn't appear to have bought the book) writes ungrammatically that "she" found its writing: "So. Horribly. Written. So poorly written. The world is dumber with this book’s publication” as if Tricky Headlines were Tolstoy and not standup--beside leaving one wondering how "Clara" could review a book "she" could never have read, of course. [Reads a bit like Trump, doesn't it.] But don't be a clairvoyant like "Clara." Buy a book and THEN review it.

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  "Remember: If you don't want me to quip
    about you, just stay out of the headlines!
"

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What Did Humans Evolve From?

Let's not jump the gun: According to some predictions, human may one day evolve from one of the species of morons now thrashing the planet. [Although, frankly, I don't see how such a thing is even possible, myself.]

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A Brief History of Chimps in Space

Yuri Gagarin was shot into space in a bullet without a cannon firing it. Now chimps are sent into space to see if they can grow bean pods in their space motel before a meteoroid brows it up. End of story.

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Is it Hemp or Marijuana?

If you're tied up in the basement & can't move it's hemp. If you're sprawled out on the sofa & can't move it's marijuana.

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How Did Ancient People Keep Their Food From Rotting?

ANSWER: They ate it before it would rot. [I'm still doing that myself.]

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10 questions about visiting the beach during the pandemic, answered

1) what do I do if I see a shark?

ANSWER, for everybody who goes to the beach during this pandemic: If you're lucky enough to spot a shark: Swim out to it and try to jump on its back. You will get the ride of your life.

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Trump Lambasts ‘60 Minutes’ After Episode About His COVID-19 Conspiracy Mongering

You know, I'm sure that if Donald Trump would just have his head examined they would finally find there that 'missing server' he claims was spirited to the Ukraine.

William Barr’s Perversion of Justice

The mark of the back of the Hand of God lies across the face of today's America, and it will not be erased until all the unethical and immoral leaders she has chosen for herself are all gone & long forgotten.

2,000 Former Justice Officials Demand William Barr Resign Over Michael Flynn Case

I left the Justice Department after it made a disastrous mistake. It just happened again.

Ex-F.B.I. Official Is Said to Undercut Justice Dept. Effort to Drop Flynn Case

Court asks retired judge to oppose Justice Dept. effort to drop Michael Flynn case, examine whether ex-Trump adviser committed perjury

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Mitch McConnell: ‘Classless’ Obama ‘Should’ve Kept His Mouth Shut’ About Trump

Guess Obama must have spoken some truth or something like that to get McConnell this upset with him.

McConnell Says He Was ‘Wrong’ To Claim Obama Didn’t Leave A Pandemic Playbook

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Sean Hannity: Obama Just Activated ‘Deep State Operatives’ Against Trump

What a crackpot! [Hell, I'm going right now to FOX to see if I can score my own show--about Whoopee Cushions curing Coronavirus.]

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The earliest known humans in Europe may have been found in a Bulgarian cave

Told rescuers there was just nobody around to rescue them until they came, of course.

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Which came first: The rotten polls or the raving?

ANSWER: The raving. (Why do ya think Trump's polls are so rotten!) Just exactly as the chicken came before the egg: Eggs got no legs.

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Accidental poisonings rose after Trump suggested injecting disinfectant could thwart coronavirus

Does anybody know of ANYTHING positive happening after any Trump suggestion? [Google it! Google it!]

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Russia in second place for world virus case total

Well, Trump and Putin are nose-to-nose in the race for the leader who caused the most needless deaths in their countries. [It's all very exciting, but my money's on Trump.]

Trump is badly botching the virus. New polls show Americans know it.

Trump’s latest effort to gaslight America is falling apart

Republicans finally realize Trump will drag them under

Why the GOP may lose everything

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Trump order to paint border wall black could cost hundreds of millions of dollars

Ah! It must be so wonderful to be able to just tell 'your people' to build you a sand castle instead of having to shovel one up yourself!

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Trump says U.S. leads world in coronavirus testing, but numbers tell a different story

In Trump's defense: Whatever Trump says the exact opposite is the truth.

We’re All Casualties of Trump’s War on Science

Science is Truth. So this war was both inevitable and unavoidable.

‘60 Minutes’ cites ‘Tucker Carlson Tonight’ for coronavirus misinformation

The Strange Origins Of Trump’s Hydroxychloroquine Obsession

Trump is badly botching the virus. New polls show Americans know it.

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Woman Who Illegally Entered Yellowstone Suffers Burns Near Old Faithful

People who do a stupid thing seldom confine themselves to doing just one stupid thing.

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Dems Unveil Giant New Coronavirus Relief Bill

Repubs claim their bird won't fly with a bill that big.

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The world is ending. Could this affect Trump’s reelection chances?

I don't know: Trump is a strange bird. I think he might be able to survive on an asteroid somewhere out there (in the space between his ears).

Will the courts thwart Trump’s overreach?

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In the midst of a pandemic, Trump is obsessing over Michael Flynn

When ya don't know how to drive a car ya plays with your little choo-choo train.

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Jared Kushner clarifies after saying he’s ‘not sure’ he can commit to date for presidential election

My, my, what will the people do if Trump and his Mafia stage a coup against the land of the free & the home of the brave? [Wonder now, not when.]

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Virus test hailed by Trump dogged by accuracy questions

In Trump's defense: Anything hailed by Trump is by definition ALWAYS a bust.

5 takeaways from coronavirus whistleblower Rick Bright’s testimony

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Analysis: The GOP is increasingly siding with Trump over Fauci

Duh! Who has the most medical expertise!?

‘NOT AN ACCEPTABLE ANSWER’: TRUMP UNDERCUTS FAUCI

I think Trump has far greater medical knowlege than Fauci, who only studied medicine in the one school. While Trump, on the other hand, didn't study medicine in ONE school... like Fauci. [So there!]

Who needs science when we have Trump’s tremendous instincts?

Whoopi Goldberg Asks Chris Christie Who He’s Willing To Sacrifice To Reopen Economy -- The ex-governor told "The View" Friday that “lives are going to be lost inevitably in this, no matter what we do.”

Well, let's pray they're your family's lives then. [Why not the lives of Chris Christie's family? Is there a good reason why not?]

Whoopi Goldberg Asks Chris Christie Who He’s Willing To Sacrifice To Reopen Economy

Well, hopefully, if there is a God then every leader who orders their economies open even at the cost of a single life will lose his/her first born to the virus. [Don't worry: There's no God. This is just a joke on The Old Testament.]

Trump is gambling the health of the nation for his reelection

Ew, what's a couple of hundred thousand dead Americans if Trump can avoid going to prison for a few days? Criminals running from the cops put other people's lives at risk all the time.

Trump says critics want to keep country closed through election to hurt him politically

Sez the saps his critics save that way is irrelevant and that the point is himself and only himself, after all.

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Anderson Cooper: Donald Trump’s Latest Coronavirus Ploy Is 1 Of His Most Offensive Yet

When Trump begins claiming that there is no proof whatsoever anyone in the United States, NO ONE, has EVER died of Covid-19 (as Trump is surely bound to start doing sooner or later)... I wonder just how many people outside his 'base' will think that Trump has finally spoken the truth for the first time ever in his entire life? It will be a VERY interesting thing to watch. [I'm sure Trump's base will believe him, of course, as they usually do--even the family members of those who die. But let's see how many others do.]

Trump will lie about the death toll. Kamala Harris wants to stop him.

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What voters and Pelosi know that Trump does not

The country we all live in is The United States of America.

A sweeping setback for Trump’s foreign business dealings

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A screaming toddler, no privacy and gratitude: 30 days in the world’s longest lockdown

A toddler screaming for 30 days!? Why didn't somebody throw him a tit?

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Fired Parkland Deputy Who Hid Behind Car During Shooting To Be Reinstated -- Former Broward Sheriff Sgt. Brian Miller will receive full back pay because his firing violated his due process rights.

He will be paid in chickens.

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Democrats scrutinize State Department plan to overhaul Social Security -- Last week, White House spokesman Hogan Gidley said President Trump would not support any plan that cuts into retirement benefits.

--before the election, of course. And, naturally, we ought to believe what Trump is saying instead of what Trump and the Republicans have been doing forever & ever & ever... right?

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NASA unveils new rules on behavior in space and on the lunar surface

39) no riding of horses on the moon, as it would raise too much dust

82) no farting in space, where ya can't hear it coming

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GRIM MILESTONE: 300,000 People Have Now Died From COVID-19 Globally

One third of them Americans! Congratulations Mister Trump. [Does anyone have to wonder whether by the time November comes around the stat will be the other way around and a third of the total Covid-19 deaths will NOT be Americans?]

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If Trump had been in charge during World War II, this column would be in German

How right that is! The proper (and probably only) use of Trump is to try to convince your worst enemy to hire him: The damage he's done to this country is incalculable; and will forever remain so to every poor unfortunate human accountant of this sad history.

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Dutch dog, three cats infected with coronavirus

"I don't know these cats," the dog claims: "I never met these cats. I never had sex with these cats. I must've picked up the virus a long time ago--before I ever even met ANY of these cats."

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50 years ago, explorer Thor Heyerdahl’s Atlantic crossing hit a snag

"And if it hadn't been for that snag our raft killed," goes Thor's diary, "the whole crew would have probably starved to death."

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Africa’s biggest collection of ancient human footprints has been found

"We were following this trail of footprints," said the scientists: "And suddenly we knew--there they were right under our feet all this time!"

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I’m A Tarot Card Reader. Here’s What People Want Most From Me During The Pandemic.

Two hamburgers and a Coke? I knew that.

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The True Story of Catherine the Great

One really big-time ho.

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Some nursing homes taking coronavirus stimulus checks from patients. Can they do that?

"Like taking candy from a baby."

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Trump’s New COVID-19 Czar Holds $10 Million In Vaccine Company Stock Options -- Elizabeth Warren slammed the "huge conflict of interest," and demanded Moncef Slaoui "divest immediately."

Apparently Elizabeth Warren just doesn't seem to understand that the real money in the government racket is insider trading. What a sucker, right! [She could really learn a lot from the Trumps.]

Moderna vaccine shows promising early results

However, if Moderna's 'vaccine' were somehow to be in cahoots via Moncef Slaoui with the Trump administration wouldn't it make sense to believe that this so-called 'magical' vaccine is really only a hoax designed solely to make those who take it believe they can now go out & hob-nob with all the mobs in the world without fear of getting sick... just like Trump is demanding Americans do no matter how many lives it cost them...? [Sometimes 'appearances' do matter, you know.]

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Watching backyard birds might be the only thing keeping me sane

Ah! Remember back in the day when doing that was a sure sign of having lost your mind! How the world has changed.

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‘Express burials’ raise fears that Nicaragua is hiding a coronavirus tragedy

Everybody seems to be trying to imitate Trump these days.

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Faced with a Trumpian barrage of attacks, Joe Biden looks the other way

In Joe Biden's defense: Maybe cook's called lunch's on!

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If Democrats want to beat Trump, they should take money from everyone — even Louis C.K.

Yes. Of course: Trump's vileness is now the new normal. Congratulations Donald Trump. Let the orgies & debaucheries roll on!

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Rabbits In The U.S. Are Facing A Deadly New Virus Outbreak Of Their Own

Rabbits say not to worry: They're fucking up their traditional response to all such threats even as we speak.

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‘Art Of The Deal’ Co-Author Spells Out Why Coronavirus Deaths ‘Don’t Matter’ To Trump -- Donald Trump’s former ghostwriter declared Friday that the president really doesn’t care about the deaths resulting from the coronavirus pandemic because he has “no conscience” and is solely motivated by the need to dominate. “The deaths, I know this is extreme, the deaths don’t matter to him,” Schwartz concluded, in reference to the nationwide 88,000 death toll from the pandemic. “If it’s this decision between saving himself and saving others, it is no contest.”

Now should you be worried about a coup by the Trump Mafia?

CNN reporter slams Trump with number of Americans dead from coronavirus

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Trump Fires State Department Inspector General in Latest Broadside Against Watchdogs

Ya don't blame a dog for barking. This is foremost the fault of Congress for giving Trump the right to fire the cops investigating his crimes: What Congress should have done & should do NOW is to frame the Inspectors General laws so that they work for the Courts [or the Congress] and not for the president so a criminal like Trump can't fire them for trying to keep them honest.

Trump Administration Ousts Yet Another Inspector General

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Trump’s continually strange comments on possibly ‘overrated’ coronavirus testing - Two days later, President Trump offered a very different view of testing, repeatedly suggesting that it’s “overrated” and that doing too much testing can needlessly drive up the infection numbers. “When you test, you have a case,” Trump said: “When you test, you find something is wrong with people. If we didn’t do any testing, we would have very few cases.”

ALSO: "If we were to simply stop treating people made sick by it we'd find nobody was ever made sick by this virus. And if we just stopped counting those who die from this virus nobody would ever die of it!" [Ah! At last I'm beginning to understand the 'magic cure' being touted by the Trump Family Mafia! Aren't we lucky to have them in complete charge of our fate at this moment! Thank you, Senate Republicans.]

Eric Trump claims coronavirus is Democratic hoax, will ‘magically’ vanish after 2020 election

By early this month, Trump said during an event with Iowa Gov. Kim Reynolds (R) that doing so much testing “makes us look bad.” -- “So the media likes to say we have the most cases, but we do, by far, the most testing,” Trump said. “If we did very little testing, we wouldn’t have the most cases. So, in a way, by doing all of this testing, we make ourselves look bad.”

Sure. Let the suckers out there take their chances. It's what suckers were born to do in Trump's World, after all. [Trump and his Mafia pals are all tested & re-tested daily themselves every one though--most especially of all Trump and all those closest to the big bleeding heart.]

How Many Covid Deaths? Don’t Ask President Trump

Drug promoted by Trump as coronavirus ‘game changer’ increasingly linked to deaths

The voters aren’t buying Trump’s snake oil

Trump just said the corrupt part out loud

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Fox News Is Not On Board With Trump Supposedly Taking Hydroxychloroquine

Because the know Trump better than anybody else out there, Fox News sez it wants to WITNESS [live] some (none-White House hired) "doctor" administer to Trump a doze independently verified to actually be Hydroxychloroquine.

Pelosi Concerned ‘Morbidly Obese’ Trump Taking Unapproved Drug For Coronavirus

Somebody please tell the good woman that all such concerns about Trump are utterly groundless: "The gods protect the stupid."

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For most of Afghanistan war, U.S. ‘never really fought to win,’ Trump says

Yeah, it's certainly not what Trump, Ted Cruz & everybody else in the Yellow-Bellied Draft Dodgers & Stateside Chickens Club would have fought it: They would have carpet-bombed the whole country until there wasn't a cockroach left alive there: That would have been victory!

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Biden says he would revoke permit for Keystone pipeline -- President Trump authorized the project after it was blocked by President Obama. If completed, the pipeline would help carry some 830,000 barrels of crude oil a day from Canada to Texas.

Well, we all know if there's one thing Texas needs is more oil crude. It's not as if the pipeline is risking the lives & health of millions of Americans along its route just so a few billionaires can throw a few extra unneeded billions atop their already sky-high piles of cash! [Right?]

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Mike Pompeo Asked Trump To Fire Inspector General

Sez the damn cop started chasing him right after his stick-up but that thankfully Trump called his precinct captain and ordered him to fire the cop right in the middle of the chase starting out: Now THAT's pull, baby! [Would that every criminal had such connections!]

Fired Inspector General Was Probing Pompeo Over Saudi Arms Deal, Mistreating Staffer: Reports

Trump Says He Doesn’t Want Mike Pompeo To ‘Wash Dishes’ Instead Of Working -- Trump said it's fine for a “Secret Service person or somebody” to do household chores for Pompeo — if his wife can't.

Sez that Fat Pompy or, for that matter, "Nobody else in my Mafia" makes enough off their government salary to both pay Trump his kickback AND also hire their own personal dishwashers: "Ya knows how much dem dishwashers are going for dize days!"

Fired Inspector General Was Probing Pompeo Over Saudi Arms Deal, Mistreating Staffer: Reports

Pompeo Confirms He Was Questioned By IG’s Office Before Firing, Denies Retaliation

Mike Pompeo offers another defense in his IG controversy — then immediately undercuts it

Trump’s latest firing is a blatant attempt to shield Pompeo from accountability

Trump’s purge of inspectors general is a crisis. Alarm bells should be going off everywhere.

Inspector general shows Trump administration is doing a terrible job

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Fed Chair Says Economy Might Not Fully Recover Until End Of 2021

And Trump's been looking to put a hit on that damn Fed Chair for some time now... only it would cost "real money" sez Trump. So he'll just have to wait until Trump can find a much cheaper hitman out there.

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Trump is using the coronavirus as a cover to abuse his authority

In Trump's defense: He's never really needed an excuse to abuse anything, now has he?

Trump’s economy is a disaster

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Trump Warns Farmers That Gun Control Will Leave Their Potatoes Defenseless

Ok, I get what 'potatoes' is an euphemism for here.

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Trump Threatens ‘Funding’ To States Expanding Mail-In Voting During The Pandemic

Anything to keep government from helping anybody.

Experts: Trump's Threats to WHO Could Undercut Global Health

But isn't Trump constantly saying that the coronavirus hasn't killed enough people? [Yes: Every time somebody claims it's killed too many it's like a slap in his face.] So it makes sense then that Trump would want the WHO's fight against the virus shut down.

Trump’s rage at a Fox News anchor contains a key tell

Could there be a 'reasonable' explanation for Trump's callous disregard for the lives of Americans during his pandemic? ["Damn Americans dying by the tens of thousands just to make poor Trump look bad. Damn them! Damn them all to Hell!"] Oh... there might be.

The WHO has been more effective at fighting the coronavirus than Trump has. No wonder he hates it.

Donald Trump is a certifiable lunatic. And I don't care what anybody says.

Trump’s flimsy attack on vaccine official warning about hydroxychloroquine

Trump’s continually strange comments on possibly ‘overrated’ coronavirus testing

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Pastor Who Claimed To Cure Coronavirus With Faith Dies Of Coronavirus

Guess there is a God after all!

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I Love My White Boyfriend But There’s One Thing He Can Never Understand

Why black people talk to themselves even when they're standing right there in front of you talking to you--I know, right!

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Do Humans Have a ‘Mating Season’?

Yes: Right after the kids go to bed.

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White House Press Secretary Goofs Up, Broadcasts Trump’s Banking Details -- Trump vowed during his campaign that he would donate his salary each year. Critics have accused him of collecting far more from customers of his private businesses who spend large amounts to curry favor with Trump and to win favorable federal treatment or contracts. U.S. taxpayers have also been stuck with the price tag for Trump’s frequent trips to his private golf resorts that serve to publicize those operations. As of February, Trump’s golf trips cost the public $133.8 million, the equivalent of 334 years of his salary, according to an analysis by HuffPost.

Actually collecting $133.8 million from the suckers while convincing them you're giving them peanuts is what separates a flim-flam man from a stickup robber. [from the best-selling The Art of The Steal by U. Nohoo]

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AP FACT CHECK: Trump Trashing Virus Science He Doesn't Like -- When President Donald Trump doesn't like the message, he shoots the messenger.

It The Wiz's Witch all over again!

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Trump Gripes That Fox News Is 'Doing Nothing' To Get Him Reelected

Trump is like a toddler who can't help reveal to everyone he lies to that he is lying. How a guy with no brains like Trump got to be president of the United States is something straight out of the Peter Sellers film Being There (and shows us the very scary perils of great wealth).

[Still... I wonder if Fox News is at all embarrassed by Trump's revealing to everyone they're not really a news outlet but just another propaganda for-profit.]

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Hydroxychloroquine, Hawked By Trump, Linked To Higher Risk Of Death, Study Finds

What a surprise.

Drug Promoted by Trump May Harm Coronavirus Patients, Study Shows

Explain to me how if someone was harmed by Trump's officially authoritative advice, that person cannot someday sue Trump or his estate to recover damages--or at the least try to: As president of the United States there should at least be a presumption that Trump must have the information that what he's doing is most certainly dangerous & harmful. [And probably lying about his taking the drug just compounds the crime.]

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2.4 million filed jobless claims last week; GOP seeks to cut back benefits

Yeah! Workers don't treasure their money like billionaires: If they get their hands on more money they're just gonna spend it.

Billionaires’ Net Worth Rises During Pandemic As Millions Go Unemployed: Report

Crumbs for the Hungry but Windfalls for the Rich

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‘We’re not going to close the country’ if there’s a second wave, Trump says

And then, dancing back into the White House, he changed the chorus of Let It Snow! to: "Let'em die! Let'em die! Let'em die!" [It's nice to see a man so happily about something amid such tragedy.]

Social distancing a week earlier could have saved 36,000 American lives, study says

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2 Missouri Hairstylists Potentially Exposed Over 100 Clients To Coronavirus

Duh! Aren't they in the business of hair-raising?

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Two years after summit with Trump, Kim vows to boost North Korea’s nuclear deterrent

Good for him! The risk of nuclear war now is awful, so anything Kim can do to deter it (especially increasing North Korea's nukes) is to be greatly appreciated.

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Trump Doubles Down On Fact-Free Fraud Theory About Mail-In Voting

Trump Spreads Baseless Conspiracy Theory Accusing MSNBC Host Of Murder

Ah, it must be great to be a total crackpot like Trump and still be taken seriously by the handful of suckers out there!

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Lindsey Graham’s Hypocrisy On Donald Trump Is Laid Bare In New Attack Ad

You're wasting your time, like Trump, Lindsey Graham has no shame, principles, or sense of decency: The only thing that can hurt people like this are the things that makes them ouch.

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Trump Sows Doubt on Voting, Keeping Some People Up at Night

If the nation moves to mail-in voting then it will be harder for Trump to delay the 2020 election due to the virus. And now you know why Trump is so pissed off by mail-in voting.

[Sleepy Joe Biden vs Dead-head Donald Trump: It's going to be one for the cups of coffee.]

Report: Kayleigh McEnany Voted By Mail 11 Times In Last 10 Years

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The Impotence of Donald Trump’s Positive Thinking -- The president's deepest held belief is in his own spin. But a novel virus can’t be fooled.

As Abe Lincolm said: "You can fool the people all of the time but at no time can you fool the coronavirus." [Lincolm is my shoe-shine boy.]

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Live updates: Trump golfs amid push to reopen; U.S. coronavirus deaths near 100,000

Trump golfs, Nero fiddles. It's the circle of life.

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Trump in war of words with Sessions over recusal from Russia probe

Rats fight! Rats fight!

CDC Warns Of ‘Aggressive Rodent Behavior’ As Lockdown Eases

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Brad Keselowski wins Coca-Cola 600 in overtime in the longest race in NASCAR history

He becomes the first man to drink all 600 Cokes in under three hours (not including trips to the little boys' room).

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84-year-old alligator rumored to belong to Adolf Hitler dies

You know, Trump lives in Florida. I'm just saying...

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‘If We Get It, We Get It’: Beachgoers Belittle Coronavirus On Memorial Day Weekend

And if you give it to somebody else then you give it to somebody else, I guess: People out there are murdering each other all the time.

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Trump’s war on reality just got a lot more dangerous

You mean like that time the guy who gave you a lift said that his car could ABSOLUTELY fly over the Grand Canyon? --Which particular argument finally convinced him it couldn't? [Well... none, actually: Thankfully, his car ran out of gas before we could get there for the demonstration.]

Thank you Republican senators. [Hope our luck holds out.]

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Stock Markets Rise on Hopes for Economic Recovery: Live Updates

Stock markets rise on hopes, fall on realities: No wonder Trump only has faith in them. Jesus!

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The GOP plan would increase coronavirus spread and slow economic recovery

Not if they and Trump simply deny that the virus is spreading and proclaim that a stupendous recovery is underway even as we all go down the crapper dying all the way. [What? Did I just give away Trump's reelection game plan? Again.]

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Mike Pompeo Is the Worst Secretary of State Ever

So, why do you think Trump's still in love with the guy? [I'm pretty sure it's not some wild coincidence.]

The wages of lickspittler

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Is the MyPillow guy the future of the Republican Party, or is he just dreaming?

Hey, the guy spent TWO years in his garage working on inventing a pillow: Sounds to me very much like a Republican senator. Let the guy dream!

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Bennett warns Trump plan could bring disaster

Is this warning about Trump ever really necessary?

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White House Letter Doesn't Explain Why Trump Fired Watchdogs

Of course it does! Look, it sez right there in black & white: "Ya can't rob the bank with the cops looking over yer shoulder!" [What more you want?]

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Trump’s purge of inspectors general is alarming. His replacements may be worse. -- And it is hard to interpret Trump’s decision to replace acting Defense Department inspector general Glenn Fine, chosen to lead a panel of inspectors general overseeing the coronavirus relief funds. Fine represents the best of the best within the IG community. He has a long history of successes in ferreting out sophisticated frauds and wrongdoing. That’s a reason to keep him, not replace him.

Apparently this writer has a sense of humor.

If you don't understand that what Donald 'Al Capone' Trump is doing is replacing Eliot Ness with Frank Nitti [because he can, or so say his bought Republicans] then you don't understand anything, my friend.

Rick Bright’s testimony confirms our worst fears

It’s past time for Congress to give inspectors general and whistleblowers additional protection

Rick Bright’s testimony confirms our worst fears

Coronavirus Relief Fund Watchdog Who Was Ousted By Trump Resigns From Pentagon

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On weekend dedicated to war dead, Trump tweets insults, promotes baseless claims and golfs

Par for the course.

But, really now: Who could have possibly told me that I would live long enough to see a lousy piece of shit elected president of the United States of America! [In fact, such is the case with this worthless animal, that to call Trump a lousy piece of shit seems to me to be rather insulting to even the lousiest piece of shit.]

Trump’s ‘Horrifying Lies’ About Lori Klausutis May Cross a Legal Line

Conservative News Site Slams Trump’s ‘Vile Slander,’ Questions His Fitness To Lead -- “This story is not just false, but verifiably so. It is also illogical and bizarre,” the editorial states.

Conservative Commentator Rips ‘Weak, Insecure Coward’ Trump In Blistering Column

Shining sunlight on Trump’s idiocy is the best disinfectant

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How Will We Remember the Coronavirus Pandemic?

That we survived it. Those who don't won't.

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Tom Brady Is Selling His Over-The-Top SUV For $300,000. See It!

Sez he now realizes he was unimaginably stupid for buying it. [Buy it! Buy it!]

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Eric Trump Tweets ‘GREAT DAY for the DOW’ As Coronavirus Death Toll Tops 100,000

So if you think the Trump Mafia will do everything or anything to save the lives of you and your family--you're better off start buying some quick holes in the ground, pal.

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Rush Limbaugh Says Latest Cancer Treatment Is ‘Kicking My Ass’ -- “For the last seven days, I have been virtually worthless, virtually useless," the radio host revealed.

Wow, "virtually worthless, virtually useless" (sounds like Rush has finally decided to start composing his epitaph). But I'm sure Satan will reward him someday with his whipping hot tongue for Rush's own cold-blooded lashing tongue.

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Naked suspect vandalizes Miramar High for ‘entire day,’ leaves $100K in damage, cops say

He told arresting offices he was pretty sure that taking off all his clothes would make it impossible for anybody to recognize him. Apparently not.

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Barr appoints Texas prosecutor to review Obama officials’ ‘unmasking’ requests

But nothing so far about the GOP's relentless innumerable attempts all over the country to keep millions of Americans from voting, though.

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Zuckerberg Says Social Media Giants Shouldn’t Be In Position To Fact-Check Users -- When asked about Twitter's fact-checking of Trump, Zuckerberg said Facebook shouldn’t be “the arbiter of truth.”

Zuckerberg then said that Facebook should only be the conveyor of lies (for profit) and that's it. Period. Pocketbook closed.

Twitter flags Trump for ‘glorifying violence’ after he says Minneapolis looting will lead to ‘shooting’

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Trump’s New ‘Religious Freedom’ Adviser At USAID Once Called Islam A ‘Barbaric Cult’

Well, maybe the people over at the Islamic Republic haven't gotten the email yet (that it is not). Nor apparently at any of ALL the other Muslim majority countries in the last 1,400 years, I see... But I'm patient, I can wait.

****************************************************

Ancient Israelites 'burned cannabis in worship'

That could explain all those Old Testament prophets 'talking' with God and burning bushes, et al.

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I’m A COVID-19 Doctor. Do You Know What I’d Like To See From Our President? Compassion.

Boy, did this guy ever pick the wrong president for that vain hope!

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Probe: US Interior Official Used Office for Personal Gain

What a surprise.

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Remains of 60 Mammoths Discovered in Mexico

Archaeologists could still read one of their epitaphs:

Gary Mammoth chased me here
because I drank his lousy beer.
But as he lunged to wallop me
(after he'd thoroughly gallop me
here) he tripped & croaked, I fear.

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Ancient Roman Mosaic Floor Unearthed Beneath Italian Vineyard

Thankfully, all the Italians living right on top of it all this time were too drunk to see it.

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I’ve seen dictators rise and fall. Beware, America. -- By Salman Rushdie

Great, now Salman Rushdie is concerned about the American dictator falling, for some reason.

****************************************************

Armored Dinosaur’s Last Meal Found Preserved in Its Fossilized Belly

Burgers & fries. Apparently even 67 million years ago diners were ordering the same crap we do now.

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Iran, Russia, China, Turkey celebrate 'collapse' of US

It is truly impressive the amount of damage that simpleton Donald 'The Stooge of Satan' Trump has brought about in the United States in just under four years in office. Even considering the one billion dollars he lost trying his hand at business (which now seems like peanuts).

Trump’s credibility gap complicates his response to the three crises enveloping his presidency -- In addition to the worst public health crisis since 1918 and the worst economic crisis since 1933, President Trump now faces the worst civil unrest since 1968

Yes, Trump is going to have a hard time trying to come up with an even worse performance in future. But I have faith in his unlimited incompetence.

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Fauci Says Meetings With Trump On Coronavirus Have ‘Dramatically Decreased’

On the plus side: He doesn't have to keep wresting Trump's Clorox bottle away from him as often now.

****************************************************

White House press secretary says Trump focused on antifa

Sez Trump's no longer focused on his shiny black shoes.

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What we know about the White House’s secret bunkers and tunnels

They are littered everywhere Trump skedaddled through them with chicken feathers.

Trump Claims He Went To White House Bunker During Protests ‘For An Inspection’

Sez he always stages his official inspections in his pajamas.

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People are sawing through and climbing over Trump’s border wall. Now contractors are being asked for ideas to make it less vulnerable.

Well, since Trump isn't paying for it, I suppose he'll probably have it all remade of Tungsten or Iridium next.

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'I don't trust Putin any more'

Now?! Where have you been all his life?

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Who do you think Joe Biden should choose for vice president?

Well, as long as it's my call I'm going to say: Me. I need the money.

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Barr seeks to dissociate himself from move on demonstrators outside Lafayette Square -- The attorney general had told the Associated Press his “attitude was get it done, but I didn’t say, ‘Go do it.’”

This is truly bizarre stuff here: "Shoot'em but don't kill'em?" This insanity probably explains better than most anything else the Trump administration's evil being described to its very victims as 'the greatest good' right to their faces!

More than 1,250 former Justice Dept. workers call for internal watchdog to probe Barr role in clearing demonstrators from Lafayette Square

Barr’s dishonest defense of the clearing of Lafayette Square

A retired judge’s sharp rebuke of William Barr confirms the worst

So this is why Bill Barr is such a bully

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Live updates: Trump says a strong economy is the greatest thing that can happen for race relations

Sure, like all the times the economy was strong in the past: O what great race relations we had then!

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Donald Trump’s greed helped ruin Atlantic City. Is the rest of the country next?

Boy, it sure looks like it!

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Trump always lashes out when he’s cornered. He told me so years ago.

Rats always do. But few of'em are as uninhibited about it as is Trump.

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A southwest Virginia man who blew off his hand in an apparent explosives accident has been charged in federal court after authorities say they found evidence he was making a bomb and wanted to target “hot cheerleaders” because of his sexual frustrations.

Boy, now he's gonna be even more frustrated still! Especially if his other hand can't take up the slack.

****************************************************

US Outlines $4.6B Plan to Protect Miami From Climate Impacts

Spread an old Christo leftover tarpaulin over the thing and aircondition the whole damn city underneath it.

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As Trump Blames Antifa, Protest Records Show Scant Evidence

Oh, Antifa-behind-the-violence exists alright: Right there next to that server 'stolen' by the Ukraine... in Trump's empty head.

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John Kelly Defends Jim Mattis Against ‘Nasty’ Trump Twitter Attack -- “The president has clearly forgotten how it actually happened or is confused,” Trump's former chief of staff said.

"Actually, no," said Trump: "I just lied. Ha!"

John Kelly Slams Trump's Ethics: 'We Need To Look Harder At Who We Elect'

Even the Buffoon's previous Majordomo is now claiming to see the Light.

****************************************************

Republican Senator 'Struggling' Over Whether to Back Trump in Election

Yeah, we know: Lisa Murkowski is always 'struggling' over whether to back Trump but then she eventually backs him 100%

Locked in tough reelection bid, Collins will not join Trump at appearance in Maine

She's join him soon as she wins, though. Ha Ha.

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Our little boy’s anger has gotten worse with the pandemic. What can we do?

Stop showing him all those polls that say he's losing to Joe Biden!

Trump Campaign Demands CNN Apologize For Poll That Shows Him Losing To Biden

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Trump Cheers Tom Cotton After Times Editor’s Exit Over Op-Ed -- "The State of Arkansas is very proud of Tom. The New York Times is Fake News!!!" Trump complained in a tweet.

Nowadays the best endorsement any news outlet in America can have that it is a dependable provider of the truth is Trump calling it Fake News.

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British man rescued after six days trapped in Bali well

Sez he looked into the well and was pretty sure that he saw a chap down there. So he tried to look closer and before he knew it: There actually WAS a chap down there!

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George Conway Gets Twitter Users To Offer Trump Some All-Too-Honest New Slogans -- Trump is reportedly working on a new slogan for his 2020 reelection campaign.

Trying to think of a lie big enough to cover all his other big lies is not an easy thing. Most especially for Trump, whose all other big lies are tremendous!

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White House almost completely surrounded by more than a mile of fencing

Wouldn't it be simpler to just have a president who is not the avowed enemy of the American People? Just asking.

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A nose-horned dragon lizard lost to science for over 100 years has been found

Some kid in the Bronx had it in a shoe box.

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Black Store Owner Reports Robbery, Gets Punched by Officer

Black store owner sez he's surprised and relieved that he was able to report that he got robbed to the cops without getting shot a whole bunch of times: "Took out my whole family to celebrate."

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Maryland legislator calls for removing protections for officers accused of abuse of force

Did not know the police are protected from abusing us! I was afraid of the police before. Now I don't know if I even care to go outside! [At least if I'm worked over by a criminal I can relax knowing that he's not protected from his crime. Jesus!]

How ‘Qualified Immunity’ Protects Cops From Being Held Accountable

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Buffalo Mayor Says Police Union Is ‘On The Wrong Side Of History’

Those 57 policemen need to make up their minds whether they are loyal to each other or dedicated to enforcing the laws designed to protect the citizens of Buffalo. If they're just going to be loyal to each other perhaps they might be better off quitting the police department and organizing themselves into a criminal gang so they can then go around robbing and killing people until they're finally brought to justice by true officers of the law. Certainly the citizens of Buffalo would be better off with policemen who are actually committed to observing & enforcing the laws designed to protect them.

Buffalo Police Arraigned for Felony Assault, Elderly Protestor Still Critical -- More than 100 police officers, firefighters and other supporters crowded outside the courthouse in Buffalo to protest the assault charges filed against the officers.

If I were a citizen of Buffalo I think I might feel better if those officers sought employment elsewhere... some place that doesn't mind them placing a higher value on their own camaraderie than on their sworn sacred duty to the citizens who pay them to keep them safe.

A Buffalo police statement initially said that a man was injured when he “tripped and fell” during “a skirmish involving protesters,” in which several people were arrested. That language only amplified the criticism, as the video soon showed it was false.

The persons responsible for that self-evident lie were engaging in an egregious cover-up by those whom we trust most to establish the facts. And at the least they should all be immediately removed from the police department to make sure that in the future the public can have trust in those who are charged with protecting them.

The men and women who make the conscious deliberate choice to join the police are from the git-go choosing to hold themselves to a higher standard and ought to therefore always be called to & held to those higher standards--most especially of all when they fail to live up to them.

Trump draws rebukes for suggesting 75-year-old protester pushed to the ground in Buffalo was part of a ‘set up’ -- “We’re at a loss to understand why the president of the United States would make such a dark, dangerous and untrue accusation against him,” the protester’s lawyer said.

Well, I'm certainly not: If Trump came out with 'Mother Teresa was a ho' the only thing I would be at a loss to explain is why he hadn't smeared the sainted nun before. [If you don't know the guy you don't know the guy.]

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'Cops,' on Air for 33 Seasons, Dropped by Paramount Network

Thank God! Now I can scream obscenities at my neighbors in my underwears and not fear it being shown coast to coast on TV.

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Charli D’Amelio is TikTok’s biggest star. She has no idea why.

The video of my Uncle Luigi having his armpits probably helped.

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Trump rejects calls to rename military bases named after Confederate generals

Sez this business of recognizing all our traitors for the traitors they were might make him stick out as the only traitor in American history still visible out there, for Heaven's Sakes!

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Factory Discarding COVID-19 Swabs Produced During Tour By Unmasked Trump: Report

This guy is a catastrophe everywhere he sets foot. And to everyone everywhere he goes!

But you can't call Donald Trump 'The Great Deceiver' because he never really deceives anyone. His lies are transparent every one of them and the sad tragedy is that those who choose not to acknowledge his lies just don't care others know them as miscreants & his enablers.

However much he might want to be one, Donald Trump is not a dictator, just a oafish bully. And, like all bullies, a coward head to toe.

Trump campaign seeks apology, retraction of CNN poll showing Biden leading

Typical Trump bullying of those who report the truth on him:

How did Donald Trump, a self-serving promoter who lost billions of dollars for his investors, convince the world that he is a financial genius?

How does one lose a billion dollars?! I mean, one could just pile a billion dollar bills out in the middle of a field during a hurricane and you'd probably still find millions & million of dollars there that haven't been blown away, for Heaven's Sakes! Donald Trump has got to be the biggest loser in all human history, hands down without a single doubt.

I study liars. I’ve never seen one like President Trump.

Wonder whether it will ever finally be established whether Trump tells so many lies because he's sick in the head or just plain evil? Just asking.

To malign and smear — that’s Trump’s motto

No doubt. But at least he's sure always Hell-bent on always doing what he's best at.

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Va. attorney general to defend Northam's push to remove Lee statue; protesters pull down Davis statue

Petition Calls For Statue Of GWAR’s Oderus Urungus To Replace Robert E. Lee

The proper statues to replace Lee and Jefferson Davis are Abraham Lincoln and Frederick Douglass; or Ulysses S Grant, William T Sherman, Harriet Tubman, or Clara Barton: It's about time the United States finally won the Civil War.

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HBO Max isn’t censoring ‘Gone With the Wind.’ It’s reframing it.

‘Gone With the Wind’ is one of my favorite movies and I will watch it again: Whatever was intended in it, "that slavery was acceptable to some black people and not as bad as if you yourself had been a slave," or "that some slave owners treated their slaves as members of the family" ... that I don't know because the author herself expressed more sympathy than antipathy towards black people, and when she wrote her novel it's possible that she might actually have been trying to 'humanize' the black people she wrote about at a time when so many white people looked down on them as less than human. The movie also depicts stereotypes which are (and should be) insulting to a modern audience--and which any & all public shows should warn against (and probably discuss in an adequate preamble). But, all in all, however insulting it may be to so many people black & white, it is still a masterpiece of art and must be preserved and displayed even if perhaps only in a museum... like all those other naked depictions in said museums (which also outrage lots of folks).

****************************************************

Trump Won’t ‘Even Consider’ Renaming Bases Named For Confederate Generals

All Confederates fought against the United States. These is no room for monuments honoring them in these United States. They should all be confined to the arguments in our history books concerning those we hold now in contempt, or are scorned and damned.

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Police try to come to grips with a nation’s anger

Police have to get ahead of the curve and SHOW the people that they are not there to dominate them but to serve them. Do that and I think the Amercan people can be forgiving.

Biden Doubles Down On His Stance Against Defunding The Police

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Why Trump is standing up for the Confederacy

Because he's a loser and they were losers. And losers should all stick together.

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In an interview on “The Daily Show,” the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee also said that he has considered what will happen if he wins and the president won’t leave office.

He had better consider it very seriously and start making some serious plans NOW to see to it that Trump goes (most probably straight to prison) because Trump is a serious criminal [and not a petty criminal but a big time criminal] who knows perfectly well the full scope of all the crimes he's been engaging in. And who fully understands that in any reasonable world he's going from the White House either to prison or a sanitarium. Criminals like Trump don't just turn themselves in but must be hunted down and cuffed fighting tooth & nail. [And keep an eye out for Bill Barr, Pompeo, and a lot of Trump's other criminal co-conspirators because they're very likely to try to cause as much trouble as they can too.]

Why Does Trump Lie?

More than 1,250 former Justice Dept. workers call for inquiry into Barr

Breaking the law is a momentary thing.
Having broken the law is forever.

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Border officials spent humanitarian aid on dirt bikes, dogs and more, report says

O where, O where could the watchdogs all be?
O where, O where have they gone?
With their mouths taped shut we can all agree
Trump can use all our money on just fun!

Trump administration won’t say who got $511 billion in taxpayer-backed coronavirus loans

Naughty, naughty!

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Purging police of bad cops will require doing something Democrats have long opposed

Cops are people just like everybody else: The thugs will be easy to spot. The serial killers not so much.

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Trump’s Tulsa rally sign-up page includes coronavirus liability disclaimer

Translation: "Trump invites you here, but if you come here and die: That's all on you, and on you alone, stupid!"

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Orange County, Calif., residents call virus a hoax, rail against face masks

"Great," said one Coronavirus to its brother: "Now we've gonna have to go over there & prove'm wrong!"

Hey, Trump: Bill Barr is the head of Antifa! The proof is most Trumpian: What better position could the head of Antifa operate from BUT that of the Attorney General of the United States?! [It's as self-evident as the fact that Donald Trump was proven to be the most honest man in America by the Mueller Report.]

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Joe Biden Has Problems He Can’t Solve From His Basement

What? He can't get his mom upstairs to solve it for him?

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Seattle Man Gets $1.1 Million Coronavirus Hospital Bill: Report

Sounds about right: I walked in front of a hospital one time & a week later I got a bill for $76,000 in the mail.

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No, Melania Trump doesn’t want to be free

What she wants is: Mo'money, Mo'money, Mo'money!

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Plastic pollution is showing up wherever scientists look

Have they cleaned their eyeglasses? Maybe there's some plastic bits on their eyeglasses. Happens to me all the time: I once thought that the whole world was a filthy dirty place!

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White House Adviser: No ‘Transparency’ Promise Ever Made Over Billions In Loans

Larry Kudlow sez Trump's buddies & backers will wet their beaks because they can. [Ha. Ha.] "Who's gonna stop us?" [from the best-selling When The Joint's Run by The Mob by Lindsey Crackers]

Inspectors general warn Congress that Trump administration is blocking scrutiny of bailout programs

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As crises multiply, Trump’s Senate allies respond: But her emails!

These Senate Republicans are worthless, completely utterly worthless. This country will only begin to solve its problems when it finally gets rid of deadweight like these Republicans.

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Trump ally takes over crisis-ridden Postal Service

What could go wrong?

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US 'outraged' as Russia jails American for spying

"What's up wid dat?!?" US sez Russian spies are now senior members of the Republican Party and are practically running the Trump administration--Doesn't that count for anything?!? "Jeez!"

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Larry Kudlow Vows End To $600 Unemployment Aid As ‘Disincentive’ To Work

He's also asking Trump to raise his salary by a couple of millions because coming out a few times a year to insult the poor is HARD work, baby.

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As maskless New Yorkers crowd outside bars, Cuomo threatens to shut city back down

I don't know if I agree that it's a good idea to mess with Nature's way of eliminating the stupid: After all, we're THAT CLOSE to where we might finally get a mostly intelligent human population.

GOP senator defends Trump’s Tulsa rally as health official warns it’s a ‘huge risk’

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Americans Are The Unhappiest They’ve Been In 50 Years, Poll Finds

Thank you, Donald Trump!

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'I wouldn't be alive, so thank you'

"Who sez I didn't give a fuck!" [Answered my old man.]

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Ever watch a camel give birth? Now you can with the latest video from Zoo Miami

Oh, good. I was looking for something to watch while I ate my spaghetti-and-meatballs.

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Who is Kim Yo-jong?

Kid who looks much older than his years.

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Why has Trump's niece written a damning memoir?

Because the love of vengeance runs deep in that family's DNA. [Now let's wait & see what The Donald reveals about her.]

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UK PM 'delighted' at coronavirus drug

Sez it takes just like Vodka.

****************************************************

Solving the mystery of the 'ugly, dirty' gem

It was recently smuggled in by somebody who was strip-searched in vain.

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Trump Says He Gave Out 1 Million Tickets To His Tulsa Rally. That Means 980,801 Fans Won’t Fit.

In Trump's defense: He'll say anything that comes out of his mouth before his brain has had a chance to hear it. But unlike the rest of us his brain never thinks, "Ooops, did I just say that?!?" (Since Trump got no brains.)

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Tourists Learn The Hard Way Why You Should Never, Ever Attempt To Pet A Lion

Of course it wasn't as ugly as when they let that rhino walk right over them.

****************************************************

Laura Ingraham Calls Dr. Fauci ‘Medical Deep State,’ Tells Trump To Ignore Virus Rally Warnings

Now, how in the world is this woman not legally liable for telling people it's safe to jump off a cliff like that?!? After all, she's not Trump.

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What has the Trump administration done with a half-trillion dollars?

Well, Trump is certainly looking more morbidly obese than usual. Must be eating much better these days (since he got rid of all those pesky oversight watchdogs). "Mangia! Mangia!" [Trump's pronunciation of MAGA.]

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Trump Suggests Stopping COVID-19 Tests Would Result In Fewer Cases

Sez throughout history reporting fewer deaths in battles & wars have always made them less bloody.

Pence Tells Governors To Share Misleading Facts About Coronavirus Infections: Reports

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Atlanta Police Officer Who Shot Rayshard Brooks Had Past Reprimand For Use Of Force

When you don't get punished as a child you grow up believing you never will. [See: Donald Trump.]

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Why The World Is More Worried Than Ever About A 2nd Wave

Because, let's face it, people are not as intelligent as gerbils.

COVID SURGING: ALL-TIME HIGHS IN FL, TX, AZ

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Book By Trump’s Niece To Reveal He ‘Derided’ Father’s Alzheimer’s Struggles -- A new tell-all by Mary Trump promises to expose the president's “appalling” treatment of his father.

What a surprise.

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Anthony Fauci Hasn’t Talked With Trump About Coronavirus In 2 Weeks

Sez it's HARD to talk to a brick. [But that he'd rather talk to a brick than to Trump because at least a brick is more likely to listen and to understand than is Trump.]

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Former Atlanta officer who shot Rayshard Brooks charged with murder, other offenses

This cop shot a human being in the back because he had fallen asleep while waiting at a Wendy's drive-thru in his car due to drinking! This cop knew the guy was judgment-impaired. And he also knew his name & had his car. The cops could have gone to his house at any time & picked him up there once he sobered up after having run away. But instead that cop just shot him to death. In the back. Knowing the guy wasn't thinking straight. I have no idea what could have possibly been going through this cop's head, but it's a human failing which I don't think rules & disciplines & police academy instruction can cure. I believe what will eventually ameliorate all these failings by so many members of our police is just better department vetting of who becomes a cop: Most certainly with much more intensive and professional use of competent psychiatrists & other mental health experts than is used today... in police departments where far too many times if you just know somebody you're in.

Some Atlanta Officers Stay Home After Rayshard Brooks Charges

And there's the perfect chance to scrap that police department and start over with better police officers:

As Camden’s police chief, I scrapped the force and started over. It worked.

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Republicans Dismiss Bombshell John Bolton Allegations Against Trump

What a surprise.

Trump asked China’s Xi to help him win reelection, according to Bolton book

Bolton Says Trump Impeachment Inquiry Missed Other Troubling Actions

Bolton’s book appears to reinforce how Trump views justice as transactional

John Bolton delivers a scathing indictment of Trump — and of himself

Trump’s Bolton problem is nothing compared with Senate Republicans’ woes

****************************************************

How do you practice social distancing on a plane?

Only one passenger per plane please!

****************************************************

States Face Rising Cases as Trump Says Virus Is ‘Fading Away’

That's correct: Whatever Trump says, the reality is always the exact opposite.

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FDA pulls emergency authorization for antimalarial drugs touted by Trump

Wonder how the White House's gonna react to their own FDA coming out saying that Trump's a wacko?

Trump Takes Credit For ‘Making Juneteenth Famous’ In Dumbfounding Interview

Wacko.

When is this current administration going to remove this guy! Trump is mentally unfit to be walking out in the streets without close supervision, for Heaven's Sakes.

Republicans Dismiss Bombshell John Bolton Allegations Against Trump

Not just Sharpie-gate: 7 other times officials tried to fabricate Trump’s ‘truth’

****************************************************

Is Trump Trying to Spread Covid-19?

If he can harm & kill others: Why not!

It's almost certain that Trump will never serve the time in prison he so richly deserves because unfortunately in this imperfect country the rich & powerful look out for each other. But I just hope when the time comes that the nation's newspaper editors at least headline Trump's electoral loss as "TRUMP CRAPS OUT" (it's the least they can do for justice).

The stage is being set for the repudiation of Donald Trump in November

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After departure of VOA editors, official fires heads of sister organizations

From now on VOA will be known as VOP [for Voice of Trump].

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Florida Sees Record Number Of Coronavirus Cases As Experts Eye Possible New Epicenter

Making America Great Again!

****************************************************

Nancy Pelosi To Remove Portraits Of Confederate House Speakers From U.S. Capitol

Sez that by doing it herself the country will save having to pay workers to do it.

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John Bolton is a weasel in a party of weasels

Please! (... don't insult weasels): These are rats at best and mostly worms: From every description by friends, family, foes, acquaintances and just about everyone who has even briefly crossed his path Donald Trump is one of the most disgustingly inhuman worms that ever lived on this earth teeming too much already with the nastiest of them. And lots & lots of the world's worst worms are this minute members in good squirming of the GOP.

****************************************************

Not just Sharpie-gate: 7 other times officials tried to fabricate Trump’s ‘truth’

At this point, considering everything reported about him, I am finally convinced that Donald Trump really does believe his own delusions. And, unfortunately, this makes it the more dangerous for everyone about him because he just always comes across as so unswervingly convinced of his lies that it places a fatal doubt in people who would otherwise just roll their eyes at him. This is what makes Trump such a particularly dangerous liar. And what has ultimately brought about such a truly devastating tragedy to this country--which was so unprepared for such a maniac wielding Trump's wealth and power... instead of being confined to blithering to himself in some lost corner of the world somewhere.

Why Trump’s lawsuit against John Bolton will fail

Another serious abuse of power by Trump? Sure looks like it.

****************************************************

Genetically Modified 'Friendly' Mosquitoes Approved For Insect Population Control In the U.S.

Now the little buggers gently come down to feed on your hand instead of off your hand. [But you still have to buy them mosquito feed and condoms.]

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Compared With Hummingbirds, People Are Rather Colorblind

Did not know that hummingbirds were that big a bunch of racists.

****************************************************

U.K. Museum Reimagines Classic Art With Face Masks

Yeah! It's about time somebody strapped a mask on the ugly smirk of that stupid Mona Lisa.

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The federal government could punish employees for reading Bolton’s book

Trump administration sez it want to keep government employees as ignorant as possible--Certainly not as ignorant as is Trump, because that's physically impossible, of course. But: "Just keep them as close to it as humanly possible," (is the order of the day here).

[But isn't Trump suing to keep Bolton's book from coming out an acknowledgment that the things in it are true?]

Trevor Noah Shows Why ‘Trump Might Be More Ignorant Than We Thought’

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Barr Abruptly Seeks to Fire U.S. Attorney Who Investigated Trump Associates

Sorry, that headline should read: "Barr Abruptly Seeks to Fire U.S. Attorney Because He Investigated Trump Associates" [please correct it].

A Friday night massacre that backfired

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Thomas Jefferson Descendant Calls For Removal Of His Famous Ancestor’s Statues

This raises an interesting question: To whom should we raise or maybe never raise statues in the first place?

What resulted from Columbus's great discovery is us. Everything you see here in the Americas good and bad--The greatness and the places where our dark souls live here even to this day. It is far more useful to look to our human failings in all our selves than in just only a few of us. Would democracy be what we think of it today if the United States had never existed? Would we have never known slavery? The world has always had slavery as far back as you wish to trace the sorry steps of man: Even Africa had a long established tribal social system of slavery before Columbus which made it preferable to acquire slaves from Africa than to enslave native Americans who, not having such a social system, only understood slavery as mere spiteful torture by the European conquerors and died almost to a man refusing to remain enslaved.

Should we condemn Martin Luther King for his human failings or still celebrate him for the great things he did? We will never know whether had George Washington been a much younger man he might have chosen to become king instead of president, as many of his troops demanded.

And would we have been better off without Jefferson?

I am one of those who believes that: No. We would not have been better off without Jefferson and Columbus. Therefore I do not believe we should be toppling their statues: In spite of the griefs they brought to a lot of us the magnitude of the good they brought to the world of men far outshines those griefs. If necessary, add the essential comments to their memorials to complete their truths. But memorialize them we still must because it is our duty to the truth.

In every case it is always our duty to uphold the truth no matter whom it may hurt or embarrass. But it is also our duty not to leave our truths only half-told.

Would we have been better of without Stonewall Jackson? Yes. Would we have been better off without Ulysses S. Grant? No. And now you know whose statue should go up somewhere and whose statue ought never to go up anywhere men memorialize their forebears.

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Royal Caribbean’s payment vendor Wirecard reports $2.1 billion missing cash

In the thieves' defense: Strangers did place $2.1 billion on their hands. And, let's face it, most people would rob you blind--It's just that they almost never get to finger your cash like that.

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Mountain Lion Caught In Downtown San Francisco -- The disoriented cougar roamed the streets for two days until it was spotted by a police officer.

She told the cops she'd been trying to hunt down some 'young bucks' without luck for a couple days and was now starting to have blurred vision.

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I’ve Been In Prison For 24 Years. Now My Son Is Incarcerated Here, Too.

It is always heartwarming when a son chooses to follow in his father's footsteps into the family business.

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What Happens in Your Brain When You Make Memories?

Ah! Now I remember!

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Pompeo: China uses disinformation to split Europe, US

But sez that Trump is much better at it.

Carl Bernstein: Trump Was ‘Delusional’ And Outmatched In Calls With Putin And Erdogan

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Peter Navarro: Trump’s Call To Slow COVID-19 Testing Was ‘Tongue In Cheek’

Homeland Security Secretary: Trump’s Threats To ‘Bomb’ Bolton Were A Joke

Yeah. Every stupid and perverse thing Trump says is now being explained away as 'a joke.' So even his own people are finally admitting Trump's just a stupid buffoon.

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CBS Reporter Paula Reid Asks Trump Question All Journalists Should Ask -- At the end of a roundtable discussion with governors on the reopening of America’s small businesses, Reid tried to get the president to answer one more very pertinent question: “Why do you keep hiring people that you believe are wackos and liars?”

[Hey! Keep trying to get the answers, people!]

And that most important follow-up of all: "How many of the people now working for you ARE wackos and liars?”

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Trump’s campaign has no clue how to solve this problem

Well, I do: Replace Trump with a human being.

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The tricks to help navigate uncertainty

1) be SURE you're not doing it wrong

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Analysis: A week after Pence bragged about improvement, the pandemic is getting worse

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that Trump and Pence are telling everybody to go out and enjoy getting themselves infected to death. "Not to worry."

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The Misunderstood, Maligned Rattlesnake

Just what we needed: One more defense of Donald Trump.

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The missing factor in Trump’s presidency? Decency.

Nonsense! It's decency, honesty, law-abiding, loyalty, competence, dependability, and far too many other positives for the time and space we have left of our lives here to name.

First thing the next president has to do is to order a Justice Department probe into how much money every segment of Trump Inc has received in illegal emoluments from Trump's abuse of his office and to start immediate legal proceeding to try to recoup as much of it as it's possible including any profits it may have generated (plus all appropriate fines & punishments). And then to pursue criminal prosecution to the fullest extent of the law of anyone involved in the conspiracy to commit any & all crimes found to have taken place and everyone who aided, enabled or abetted them whether through direct participation or via malfeasance in office (from Bill Barr on down).

Prosecutor to tell Congress of pressure from ‘highest levels’ of Justice Dept. to cut Roger Stone ‘a break’

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Trump says he told officials to slow testing to find fewer cases

All serial murderers love to boast of their crimes. ["On the plus side: The more people that die the fewer unemployed." Applause.]

Trump Says He Wasn’t Joking About Slowing COVID-19 Testing: ‘I Don’t Kid’

Told ya!

How the Republican Party became a death cult

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Analysis: As Trump ramps up coronavirus denialism, GOP allies in hard-hit states are singing a different tune

"O We Are The Rats That Jumped This Shit!" [sic.] Orchestrated by Sir Mitt Romney.

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Contortionists Pull Off Mind-Blowing Act On ‘America’s Got Talent’

Sorry, no: There are things in this world I don't pay to see (and wouldn't, even if shown for free). Contortionists, sword-swallowers, people who stick their heads in a lion's mouth, bug-eaters, or folks taking a dump. Pass.

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The GOP’s uneasy choice on Trump’s coronavirus testing comments: He’s dangerous, or he’s lying

I don't see it, myself: Trump has been a dangerous liar all his life.

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Unlike U.S., other nations moving aggressively to contain flare-ups

In Trump's defense: He is obviously a quite strict evolutionist who believes that for the survival of the fittest to work everybody who's gonna be killed by this virus should go ahead & get killed already.

How the Republican Party became a death cult

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George F. Will: Why do people such as Lindsey Graham come to Congress?

Answer: Because hot-wiring cars doesn't pay as much.

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‘She snapped’: Watch a fight break out at a chicken restaurant in downtown Miami

Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Find out whether they were fighting to save the future of the planet or just over a filthy little piece of chicken wing!

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How hot will it get in South Florida? Hot enough for a heat advisory

A heat advisory in South Florida is when your pet chicken's feathers fall out by themselves and the poor bird asks you to put it out of its misery by sticking it in the oven already.

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Trump is in deep trouble, new polls show. But he has one hidden advantage.

We know: He'll just say he won (and Bill Barr will confirm it no matter how bad Trump loses).

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How the Virus Won

It cut a deal with Trump. And we all know who wins every time anyone cuts a deal with Trump--the only man in history to LOSE a billion dollars doing business!

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Analysts say Barr is eroding Justice Department independence — without facing any real consequence

If a criminal thought the law was ever going to catch up to him he'd never run the risk. And yet, until they get burned, the blind dance naked under the blistering Sun!

Because Bill Barr has been bullying others all his life he seems to have forgotten that there are people in the world much bigger than he is. And that sometimes justice is slow but most of the time it's certain: What any particular judge may order is not the law. The law is that order which all judges must follow, whether some do or not.

All the worrisome things happening at the DOJ could be just the tip of the iceberg

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Trump’s Use Of Pentagon Funds For His Border Wall Violated The Constitution, Court Rules

Like he cares.

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Dog Steals Family's Dentures And Makes The World Smile

"Not even the top dog's chew toy is safe in this house!"

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White House pushes to put Trump loyalists in Pentagon

Why, it's almost as if Trump is trying to set the government up for a possible coup down the line, isn't it. [Subpoena Bill Barr, dude! He'll know.]

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Republicans are choosing rosy assessments of coronavirus that do not match reality

Surprise! ["We are The Party of Trump now!"]

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Why isn’t Trump trying to win?

Why hasn’t Trump ever won at anything his whole entire life?

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Brand New Lamborghini Totaled After Just 20 Minutes On The Road

Kid's uncle sez he's surprised it lasted that long.

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US has 'serious problem' with virus, says Fauci

But he's not allowed to say just how serious a problem is Trump.

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'Morning Joe' Speculates Trump May Quit Before He Gets Fired

And if one doesn't quit were it not one's gonna get fired... how is that any different from getting fired?! [But Trump has been a spineless coward all his life. So it's not inconceivable that if he sees Biden is gonna beat him up he'll turn on his spurless heels and run away crying like a sissy all the way home.]

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Q&A with Annie Lennox: Why the singer doesn’t listen to music

Sez the instruments playing in pitch throws him off.

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Husky Ancestors Started Hauling Sleds for Humans Nearly 10,000 Years Ago

So that's how they ended up as all those trainers in our gyms now!

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It’s almost as if Trump is determined to destroy the Republican Party

You mean like he's destroyed everything he's ever touched in his entire whole life?

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As Trump Moves To Kill Obamacare, He Promises Amazing Replacement ... One Day

One day... when voters are desperate enough for insurance to vote in the Democrats again. [Ha!]

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Tom Brady’s ‘Only Thing We Have To Fear Is Fear Itself’ Raises Eyebrows

Tom Brady's wrong: I fear bird shit. [But the eyebrows thing is true, though.]

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Media Calls Out Bolton For Putting Money Over Patriotism

But isn't Money Over Patriotism the motto of the GOP?

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Trump Claims A Friend Called Him ‘The Most Perfect Person’

Naturally! It is a requirement for employment with Trump that everybody who works for him as a friend call him that.

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The data is in: Fox News may have kept millions from taking the coronavirus threat seriously

Well, FOX certainly has a lot of resources, insurance, its shareholders' stocks, bonds, securities and all kinds of valuable properties for which they can be sued because of any & all harm caused to the victims of its intentionally malicious frauds, misrepresentations & knowingly untrue statements: You can't get away with telling people it's perfectly safe to drink poison! And you can't tell them this pandemic wants nothing to do with them. [Sue! Sue! Sue the Murdochs! Sue FOX until it has to serve the public again instead of just only a monster like Trump. Rupert Murdoch has a lot of money.]

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Trump Claims ‘Nobody Briefed Or Told Me’ About Russian Bounties To Kill U.S. Soldiers

Same thing with me when I was a toddler and grabbed stuff I shouldn't: Mom would say to me, "Did you take that?" And I'd answer: "I've never even seen the thing before in my life!" Then she'd take it away from me.

Trump Says ‘Nobody Briefed Or Told Me’ About Russian Bounties To Kill U.S. Soldiers

I believe that should read: Trump told his briefers to not tell him about it. [Trump wasn't to know nothing! Nothing!]

Spies and Commandos Warned Months Ago of Russian Bounties on U.S. Troops

Trump’s ignorance is total — and you can quote his press secretary on that

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Russia offered Afghan militants bounties to kill U.S. troops -NY Times -- President Donald Trump has been briefed on the intelligence finding, the Times said.

Wonder if Trump is thinking maybe these reports are 'deep state' attempts to derail his Trump Towers Moscow?...

'Tre45on' Trends After Report That Trump Knew Putin Put Bounty On U.S. Troops

Would it really surprise anybody now if Trump had told Putin to do it in order to justify pulling out of Afghanistan? Would it surprise anybody now if Trump just came out and boasted he's done so tomorrow or the day after that? Would it surprise anybody now if the Republicans and FOX then tried to justify it as something patriotic for Trump to have done?

Trump Got Written Briefing in February on Possible Russian Bounties, Officials Say

Every day Trump remains president (not every month but every single day) disasters strike the United States--Every one of which can all be directly traced to Trump's actions or inactions. Not in a million years could I have foreseen this coming!

Trump shows us what ‘unfit’ means

Trump Calls for Federal Charges Against NYC Monument Vandals

Against Russians paying bounties for the murder of American soldiers... not so much.

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Study: White Evangelicals Aren’t As Worried About COVID-19 As Other Faith Groups

Nor are the monkeys in the zoo.

Americans sacrificed to flatten the curve. Their leaders have let them down.

Welcome to the United States of ‘Idiocracy’

Could America’s pandemic response be any more medieval?

If you give'em time I suppose the Evangelicals could do that. Sure.

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My kids expect Trump to win. If he does, we owe them an apology.

Kids always stick together against the adults. You know that.

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Minneapolis had progressive policies, but its economy still left black families behind

We will never stop taking but only little steps moving forward. The difference is that sometimes we take a few little steps and at other times we take many more of them. To take a really big step forward would take a much much bigger man than we are at this point.

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The age-old question: Is God still with Israel?

The ageless answer: God is always with anyone who sez that God is with him. [Who'd be crazy enough to waste his time arguing with such a man?]

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‘A new terrifying reality’: 30 days being pregnant in a pandemic

This pandemic seems to have acccelerated pregancies to term all to dickens!

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Trump decries Russian bounty reports as ‘fake’

Sez he got it straight from Putin, who (unlike the American Intelligence establishment) has never steered him wrong.

Why does the ‘America First’ president keep putting Russia first?

[To a chorus of Amen from Republicans.]

Brian Klaas: Once again, Trump accommodates Putin while stabbing allies in the back

Susan E. Rice: We Know Trump Puts Russia First. We Want to Know Why.

David Ignatius: Trump doesn’t understand that Putin is in the payback business

The Post’s View: The report of Russia putting bounties on U.S. soldiers is disturbing. Trump’s response is stupefying.

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Live updates: Fauci warns U.S. is ‘going in the wrong direction’ and could see 100,000 coronavirus cases a day

Could America’s pandemic response be any more medieval?

Republicans Pushed To Reopen The Economy. Now Coronavirus Cases Are Spiking Again.

It's easier to see a penny than a virus.

June’s nearly 50 percent rise in cases led by states that reopened first

U.S. coronavirus infections top 50,000 in a day for the first time

Wonder just how many Americans Trump and the GOP can kill before Americans finally realize they're getting killed by them?

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Russians overwhelmingly back amendments that will keep Putin in power, early returns show

Who wants to be free, right?

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Rescue crew saves horse from ocean -- The horse had traveled over a mile out into the Atlantic Ocean from a beach in Donegal, Ireland.

Horse told rescuers that it was tired of eating potatoes and was going to go to England and try living on boiled beef for a while.

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Trump said ‘experience’ was his edge over Biden. Poll shows voters disagree by a remarkable margin.

Experience is what one learns over time, and Trump never got out of his terrible two's. By the testimony of everyone who has known him since he was two Trump has learned nothing since he learned to throw fits.

Michael Gerson: Trump’s diminished moral capacity is on full display

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The Post’s View: Change the name of the Washington NFL team. Now.

Why not change it to The Washington Rats? Rats are among our most favorite pets: Every city loves to keep zillions & zillions of rats in them (we produce mountains of foods to feed them). Labs use more rats in experiments than just about any other animal, so rats (not dogs) are probably our true best friends. Rats are as intelligent as people, some even much more so. They are proud, resilient, independent creatures that don't like to take crap from anyone--not even from cats. They even work diligently to recycle our garbage; and spread diseases with almost as much zeal as we do ourselves! Truthfully: Why there has never been a team named after them I'll never know.

Cleveland Indians Look Into Changing Name Amid Pressure

And Indiana! Change that state's name to Grassland. I love the name Grassland. I would LOVE to be able to tell people, "I'm from Gary, Grassland!" And there's no state named Grassland, I think.

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Betsy Ross, Jackie Robinson And Antonin Scalia — Trump Seeks “Garden of American Heroes”

I would add Woody Woodpecker and Mighty Mouse. Why not! They're great American heroes too. Let's not make this about people, people!

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Woman given life for plot to blow up St. Paul's Cathedral

Some people just can't come to church and sit quietly praying. No. They always have to make a big show of themselves!

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Do IQ Tests Actually Measure Intelligence?

No. The only thing that measures intelligence is life. Take it from a moron.

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Will add more later. SDR

REMEMBER: This page is my scratchpad: Occasionally items which are edited (relevant & checked for factual errors) will be incorporated into my Tricky Headlines series [others with be purged]. For example, THE BOOK ON TRUMP will never be finished until Trump is finished (and, hopefully, doing a long & well-deserved stretch in prison... or an asylum for the criminally insane). We'll see.

Want to read more?

Buy the books: Each has hundreds & hundreds more...
[Thousands & thousands if you get the entire set.]
These are all real headlines--I'm the one who's unreal.

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DISCLAIMER: Note that my quips are almost exclusively all about the headline and the news articles themselves are in most cases irrelevant: Only because of the electronic nature of eBooks have I been able to include a [most convenient] search link to the actual news article... exclusively for the sake of those of you with a morbid curiosity (or a slow wit). But though I myself have read them, it is not really all that necessary that you put yourself through that too--unless, of course, you wish to find out whether my outrageous make of them might perhaps also be accurate (or just plain nuts).
S D Rodrian
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PERMISSIONS: As long as you provide the appropriate citation of authorship and Copyrights you may use [just one] of the above quips. More than one and you gotta pay me through the nose for their use.*
S D Rodrian

* NO mucus, please.

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